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      "body": "Congratulations @wumpini-lagfu! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :\n\n[![](https://steemitimages.com/70x80/http://steemitboard.com/notifications/firstpayout.png)](http://steemitboard.com/@wumpini-lagfu) You got your First payout\n[![](https://steemitimages.com/70x80/http://steemitboard.com/notifications/payout.png)](http://steemitboard.com/@wumpini-lagfu) Award for the total payout received\n\nClick on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.\nFor more information about SteemitBoard, click [here](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)\n\nIf you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word `STOP`\n\n> By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how [here](https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/http-i-cubeupload-com-7ciqeo-png)!",
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      "body": "I told a lady that I'm single and she wept. I mean she wept uncontrollably. It was as if I just announced the death of her entire family including her family friends. Why did I tell her I'm single? You should know. Aaah Aaah, I was so shocked. The more I tried consoling her, the more she wept. It was becoming a big scene. So I left and went home.\n\nOn my way home, I subjected myself to scrutiny and introspection. I wanted to ascertain the reason for the awkward cry this lady was crying but I couldn't find any. Hmm, after six good hours I couldn't figure it out. It was becoming disturbing. People don't just cry for no reason, you know. I wanted to call her but I had no airtime. Unfortunately, my foolish room mate wasn't around - he usually has a lot of airtime. I remembered I could borrow some airtime, so I did and placed a call to this lady. I called her 57 times, she didn't pick up. I kept on calling. I was outrageously determined to hear from her. Allah truly works in miraculous ways: my determination wasn't in vain, on the 89th time she picked up. Her voice was still shaky from all the cry she has been crying, ah baah! How can someone cry for six hours? Who knows? May be she took a break for some time and continued her cry. It is possible. Hmm, Who can understand now a days ladies? They are very delicate.\n\nAny ways, she was much calmer. I didn't know what to do, so I started apologizing - frankly speaking I still don't know why I was apologizing. After apologizing, I wanted to know my crime. So I asked \"what did I do wrong\" You lied to me - she said. Aaah Aaah, me? When did I lie to you? You told me you're single - she said. Yeah, I'm single - I confirmed. She started crying again. [ Ooooii Naawuni] she said, \"This is the biggest lie I have ever been told. How can you lie to me like this? On what planet can a guy like you, called Wumpini Lagfu, be single. God will punish you for lying to me. Bye\" hmmm, she hanged up on me. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one of the many reactions I get when I tell ladies of my \"singularity\" :some laugh uncontrollably and others cry uncontrollably. Can't I be single? The ladies will never believe that I'm single and that's why I'm single. \n................................ \nWumpini Lagfu\n17/10/2017",
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      "title": "I DIDN'T LOSE , I LEARNT",
      "body": "I DIDN'T LOSE, I LEARNT\nhttps://i.supload.com/HyaCzgZv-.jpg\nIndeed, this will go down history as one of the most keenly contested elections in MELSSA. The electioneering period was an interesting and wonderful one. I enjoyed every bit of the process. In life, some times we win, other times we learn. I believe this election was a learning experience for some of us. At the end of the day, I believe every contestant has become a better person.\n\nFirst of all, I want to thank the Almighty Allah for bringing this electioneering process to a successful end. I would also thank each and every one who came out to vote for me. May the almighty bless you all. Special thanks also goes to Mohammed Adam and Hebatullah Haroon for their undying love and support. I'm highly grateful. And to every one who in diverse ways supported me, may the good Lord bless us all.\n\nI will not hesitate but to congratulate all the elected executives of MELSSA. My heartfelt congratulations goes to Hon AWUNI on his election as the president of MELSSA. Special congratulations to my assistant Course rep for being elected as the vice president of MELSSA. She worked tirelessly and the good lord crowned her efforts with victory. She won against all odds. No one deserves it better than her. In fact, Barnie you're a heroine. Congratulations to all the other Executives who were elected. May you all work for the \"greaterment\" and betterment of MELSSA.\n\nAs I always say, the development of MELSSA is our collective responsibility. Let's all rally behind the executives to move MELSSA to greater heights. All hands on deck. At the end of the day, I believe MELSSA won and the will of Allah prevailed.",
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