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      "author": "jerrybanfield",
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      "author": "jerrybanfield",
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      "author": "wunderwoff",
      "body": "![IMG_5441.JPG](https://steemitimages.com/DQmX55ZApgmgDFXxjdv1S784uh5ACDAMxGN9hG8wsoearD9/IMG_5441.JPG)\n\nLately my life has been a mess.\n\n Going to the gym is a treat for myself as it helps me think a bit more clearly. I am a veteran, a college dropout, an introvert, and a recovered alcoholic.  I have battled my whole life with self esteem, depression, a form of post traumatic stress, alcoholism, sexuality, family, interpersonal relationships, romantic relationships, and a plethora of subjective experiences that have not all been well.\n\nToday as I left the gym someone that knows me personally asked me what I was going to do about paying my rent and utilities. I told them that I did not know. I told them that there isn't anything legal I could do at this point and I will likely face eviction soon. They asked me why I seemed calm about the whole situation. I told them that I had already spent my time crying over this issue. Mostly crying about the possibility of the unknown.\n\n\n I had spent an amount of time being upset/angry about all of the interviews I have went to that did not lead to employment. All of the people that said they could help me out if I needed to that could not. \n\n\nI have spent more than enough time trying to rectify problems and seek answers. \n\nAt this point I have not given up hope that some shimmer of light will come through the cracks and show me the way. But at  I do accept things as they are. One can only spend so much time brooding over problems because at the end of the day it is my belief that one should divert most of one's time fixing problems and not to spend too much time focusing on problems. \n\nI will likely be evicted due to my own fault. I thought that I would be able to find a better job. I thought that through my ethics, demeanor, confidence, and conviction that I would have been more than successful in my endeavors. \n\nThe plan thus far is to work towards reenlisting in the United States Army. Civilian life is fairly chaotic and so was the army life. But at least with the army I could manage. \n\nMy point of this post, although very subjective and appearing to be easily misconstrued is to never give up hope. \n\n@jerrybanfield If you have read through all of this there was something personal that I meant to talk to you about in regards to my possible reenlistment.",
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      "body": "@JerryBanfield what is your motivation for continuation? For me it happens to be improving the body, the mind, and the spirit. I.e. to improve my mind I subjugate myself to think outside of the box to broaden my own horizon upon  life. To improve the body I continually work out and strive to take better care of myself. My brother had told me that you started a new diet in the past to cut out all meats? I would like to hear about that sometime. Finally to improve the spirit I spend a lot of time by myself to collect my thoughts and to calm all of the outer forces in my life that way I can have momentary clairvoyance to address my situations, problems, ordeals, trials etc.  So my question to not only you, but anyone who would like to respond. What are your motivations? Do you think they are successful? If not what can you personally do to make them effective?",
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      "author": "akareem",
      "body": "Respect for you sir ❤️",
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      "body": "@akareem as an army veteran I do not think I could easily say that my life has always been peaceful. As I have learned you have to take the great with the not so great in life to achieve balance. In my subjective experience I have found more peace through having balance.",
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