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Not someone she'd ever mentioned, so concerned about her sister being in the house I asked “male or female?” \n\n“What female is called Chris?”\n“Oh yeh, Christine I guess.”\n\n\nShe assured me Chris was reputable and I asked if he'd be sleeping in her room. Yes he would, on the floor. Concerned not to have her put herself in an uncomfortable position (in case he was just a friend), I offered to move the spare mattress in ready. \n\n<sub>I know! I hear you! “Geesh, mother of a teenage daughter, surely you're not that naive!”</sub>\n\nShe would often talk about how male and females can be friends, they don't have to get into a sexual or romantic relationship. Although then she'd get freaked out if her ‘friend' made a move on her. \n\n<sub>Strangely her little sister went into her room after I alerted her that her sister was bringing someone back. I said nothing, because I know big sis hates her in her room. 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Comments made from nights out about someone's mother giving her a filthy look, because she comes from the wrong side of town. This was months ago...\n\nSuddenly I was realising why I was so upset. It seems this had been going on for some time and I was the last to know. Subconsciously I think I'd realised there was something, but I hadn't wanted to believe that she really would have lied about it for so long. \n\nI'd wanted to believe we were close and that she would talk to me about anything. Heck, she pretty much told me so!\n\nI wanted to believe she'd stopped lying to me. \n\n\nAfter some tears and pulling myself together, I returned to the kitchen to get a few more things sorted before I had to go. There was no point in confronting her about it now, I'd only upset her before I went out. Better to leave it until I got back. I tried to put on my *not bothered* face. She was sitting at the dining table, studying, and asked me if she'd shown me a picture of him yet. 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      "body": "I recently came across this article and felt it imperative that I share it. Not that I expect many people to see it here on this account. I opened it to write down my experiences, to help me process them, but also so that I could feel like I've spoken it out loud. Maybe one day I will be able to share it with those I care about, when the time is right. I don't care much that not many see it right now. \n\nThis, I do care about people seeing. I don't care if you upvote it or not, but I'd appreciate if you can share it as far and wide as possible. \n\n# [Intuition is parents' greatest tool to fight child sexual abuse – and many won't use it.](https://www.phillyvoice.com/parents-intuition-children-health-prevention-sexual-abuse-pedophiles-tips/?fbclid=IwAR3BQY4EHUpPh-NopqejTpOFTODQ61vF5J7Z_Ljrr1ymht5ywqp2t_ADgQQ) #\n\n![12142018_older_man_girl_unsplash.2e16d0ba.fill-735x490.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWfW5Es7oCH6wrhkD3bLBWtBSpZLH5UjAWeyMbpX5oSp6/12142018_older_man_girl_unsplash.2e16d0ba.fill-735x490.jpg)\n*Photo by Mary Blackwey, on Unsplash*\n\nWhy do I think it's important to share? Because it says what we all know, but still can't bring ourselves to speak out upon, for fear of social parameters or because we don't want it to be true. \n\n\nHaving experienced child sexual abuse, you'd think that I couldn't be surprised by an article like this, but it thoroughly unsettled me. The reason is, because my father exhibited these very signs.  \n\n >In her interviews with sex offenders in prison, Berkower learned that offenders often touch children, in non-sexual ways, in front of the child’s parent to see how the parent responds. In fact, the “grooming process” often begins with lots of massage, touching, wrestling, tickling, etc. \n\nI've never liked the idea of my father being labeled a pedophile. I never saw him as being calculated or manipulative, just as being unable to express emotion properly or love in a non-sexual way. Yet this \"grooming\" is what he did. He tested reactions, more with myself than with my mother. My mother did question why he would photograph his teenage daughters topless, which is probably when he realised where his line was with her. Still, he'd make her feel like she was the one wound up too tight. \n\n>“Abusers look for red or yellow lights,\" Berkower notes. \"If a child says no and more importantly, if an adult speaks up when observing this kind of touch, many offenders will stop.”\n\n>In her interviews with convicted sex offenders, Berkower learned that most offenders report “their greatest fear” is having someone call them out on their grooming behavior and this can be “a huge deterrent.” \n\n\nYet we worry about listening to our intuition when we feel something is awry. We worry about whether we are discriminating and shouldn't assume every man is a predator, but if we're honest with ourselves, we know that this gut feeling doesn't happen with all men, only certain ones.",
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      "body": "I recently came across this article and felt it imperative that I share it. Not that I expect many people to see it here on this account. I opened it to write down my experiences, to help me process them, but also so that I could feel like I've spoken it out loud. Maybe one day I will be able to share it with those I care about, when the time is right. I don't care much that not many see it right now. \n\nThis, I do care about people seeing. I don't care if you upvote it or not, but I'd appreciate if you can share it as far and wide as possible. \n\n# [Intuition is parents' greatest tool to fight child sexual abuse – and many won't use it.](https://www.phillyvoice.com/parents-intuition-children-health-prevention-sexual-abuse-pedophiles-tips/?fbclid=IwAR3BQY4EHUpPh-NopqejTpOFTODQ61vF5J7Z_Ljrr1ymht5ywqp2t_ADgQQ) #\n\n![12142018_older_man_girl_unsplash.2e16d0ba.fill-735x490.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWfW5Es7oCH6wrhkD3bLBWtBSpZLH5UjAWeyMbpX5oSp6/12142018_older_man_girl_unsplash.2e16d0ba.fill-735x490.jpg)\n*Photo by Mary Blackwey, on Unsplash*\n\nWhy do I think it's important to share? Because it says what we all know, but still can't bring ourselves to speak out upon, for fear of social parameters or because we don't want it to be true. \n\n\nHaving experienced child sexual abuse, you'd think that I couldn't be surprised by an article like this, but it thoroughly unsettled me. The reason is, because my father exhibited these very signs.  \n\n >In her interviews with sex offenders in prison, Berkower learned that offenders often touch children, in non-sexual ways, in front of the child’s parent to see how the parent responds. In fact, the “grooming process” often begins with lots of massage, touching, wrestling, tickling, etc. \n\nI've never liked the idea of my father being labeled a pedophile. I never saw him as being calculated or manipulative, just as being unable to express emotion properly or love in a non-sexual way. Yet this \"grooming\" is what he did. He tested reactions, more with myself than with my mother. My mother did question why he would photograph his teenage daughters topless, which is probably when he realised where his line was with her. Still, he'd make her feel like she was the one wound up too tight. \n\n>“Abusers look for red or yellow lights,\" Berkower notes. \"If a child says no and more importantly, if an adult speaks up when observing this kind of touch, many offenders will stop.”\n\n>In her interviews with convicted sex offenders, Berkower learned that most offenders report “their greatest fear” is having someone call them out on their grooming behavior and this can be “a huge deterrent.” \n\n\nYet we worry about listening to our intuition when we feel something is awry. We worry about whether we are discriminating and shouldn't assume every man is a predator, but if we're honest with ourselves, we know that this gut feeling doesn't happen with all men, only certain ones.",
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