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      "author": "tyretayl",
      "body": "I consider myself a regular guy, but in the last few years things came to light that changed how I live.\nThis is *my* story of how I crawled out of what I thought might have been the end of me.\nI didn't have an easy childhood but none of that needs too much explaining, but did include whole family eviction in front of my high-school and my mother trying to overdose on pills twice, one being a wrestling match where I willingly gave up...\nI am 25 years old... I apologize for this being too confusing. \n**I am trying it all out now to have the **\"truest format\"**\nThis is for anyone who is struggling and needs help, or doesn't know it like I did.![P1050888.JPG](https://steemitimages.com/DQmeUSRtbCTXGeCmP5rdsX18D6LRRqtWBdWp3xH66vnJAa8/P1050888.JPG)\n\n\n\n I had recently lost my job at a cellphone store  that I had been struggling to deal with. Getting there was a morning ritual where I knew the day would only get worse the longer I stayed. \nMy boss was younger than me but brighter than a whip,  and I was doing my best to keep up. \nKeeping up costs those who cant handle it, my cost was booze.  I never drank to a stupor, It would be three or four beer every other night. \n\nThe worst part? I am still dating the girl I have dated for 5 years now. We smoke the occasional Marijuana and drink together but never do activities anymore. She would rather sit and game on the PS4. \nShe and I did great because I repress things I assume people won't or *Can't* help me with. \nI never told her about how I wake up ready for defeat.  I don't tell her my credit card is maxed, my overdraft is gone and I can't make sales targets anymore. \n\nI was afraid to lose my grip on what I had left...\n_**\"If there was a button called, 'Life' I would have pressed that years ago.\" was my mantra.**_\n![hand.JPG](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVJ3wf4hUAz2MvkUBZ5UnEJTihYAAFsjTtb5CNvtipxqT/hand.JPG)\nThis cycle, wake up, work, drink and video games continued.\nI would miss shifts due to being sick the next day, reminding you, I never got hammered. My stomach just couldn't drink anymore.\nEven though I texted my bosses or called, they wrote me up... Six times...\nThen after Canada Day, fired me with no notice or signature. \nI sat on the couch and lazed around for almost a month, hating myself for being useless and pathetic. \nI echoed those phrases in my mind endlessly for hours every day.\n\nOne day, just a week or two ago I broke down, Employment Insurance denied my claim a month after waiting and I fell and had a good cry. My hands grabbed at each other pleading to not let this undo me. My nails scratched and tore at my arms till they burned in the hot water. It released a lot of what I held inside and with that I had some clarity.\n\nI knew what I liked, being me. I am not a suit and tie kinda guy. I wanted a place to be where I can sustain myself and pay bills but feel safe.\nThat was my goal. So I looked up a place in town, an indoor trampoline facility that wasn't hiring. And applied without knowing if they were hiring.\n![P1050889.JPG](https://steemitimages.com/DQmd5qopfJnvmKNJLkRgh6Qbk3AnPyXkNGFYh5Z3hMhZXzc/P1050889.JPG)\nI got the fabled \"Call-Back\" and got the bus for the interview the next day. I worse black work pants and a blue button up, straight from my days at the Cellphone store. I poured *BUCKETS* of sweat in worry and pure heat exhaustion during the sit-down...\nI came home to voicemails from our landlords who were in Mexico for vacation, harassing us for the Rent we didn't have...\n\nA week after, I was hired. I work today actually!\nI am a week into the job and I am so happy to have tried for it. \n\nI am now working with my current girlfriend to try and move forward in being adults, paying bills properly and expressing how we treat each other and why.\n\nI know you read all this so far and I'm proud of myself for writing it.\nSo with this last bit I just want readers to know, if you or someone you know is struggling, take 'em for a walk, empower them. Because as stereotypical as it is, getting the small win helps. Go and achieve something, feel like a hero, listen to your favorite music and keep your chin up! \nI will always listen if somebody wants to talk, I want to use this experience to change other people who struggle.\n\nThank-you for reading.",
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      "body": "# From the inside out, what is life about? <h1>\n\nYou and I sit at a computer, stare at our cellphone or look at the same tablet screen.\nThe same webpage \nThe same font\n\nA different voice reads this though.\nMine.\n\nWhat is my world like?\n\nMy world is a world of trees, surrounded by untold wildlife and stories with history to make you age with every word. A childhood where my friends would accept me as another but scorn my value as I age. Where life decisions are chosen with no worry for the depth of tomorrow by my parents of today. \n![P1050886.JPG](https://steemitimages.com/DQmd4KsbWTC6sjpikkXyYNVu5h2k5zu6zqiiFUejsmLEzSx/P1050886.JPG)\nFinding that someone and hold them close as you age to realize my school years inch past, and soon are years behind me.\nJobs that come and go with time but the skills that last and push _past_ the crop, rising to the top, the creme. The struggle of loss as emotions create and destroy, the joys of gain under weightless strain.\n\nSimply because they are _my_ pains and from birth I knew not of success but of something now worth value.\n_Freedom_. \nOptions to run and play in the beaches, or sprawl out onto endless fields. \nWar has never touched these lands in centuries, yet let embers of pain linger. \nTo run from this would be foolish but to stay is madness to the untraveled. \n\nYou and I sit at a computer, stare at our cellphone or look at the same tablet screen.\nThe same webpage\nThe same font\n\nA different voice reads this though\nYours.\n\nWhat is your world like?",
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