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      "body": "I had a weird interaction with a tattoo artist and it brought a lot of things to light. About a week before she was supposed to tattoo me, she emailed a drawing and it was so bad I declined her services. I had to be very clear to write out my response in a way that (hopefully) wouldn’t offend her. \n\nThe next day I found myself first at a coffee shop then a dive bar with an old friend. She was in a deep sea of sadness, darker and more vast than I’ve ever had to swim out of. I could see the waves buffeting the sides of her steel ship, the rise and fall of her emotions crashing with them. She unleashed and told me she thought I used to be very judgmental, that I made her uncomfortable because I treated her like she wasn’t worth my time. I handled it well but it was difficult to swallow. \n\nThat same evening my best friend broke our plans to instead attend a lecture. I haven’t had real time with her in months and miss her terribly. She’s in the middle of getting her Master’s and I’m so proud, but when we have gotten together she has been avoidant and distracted. I’ve decided to let her go and stop trying.\n\nReally, I wanted to tell the tattoo artist that her rendition of a snake looked like a boxy angry turd, that her lack of thought and intention came across in her lazy design, that her heaviness hung in the flower’s petals and bee’s wings, that her doubling the quote of our original meeting showed a desperation and hunger for monetary gain and gross approval. \n\nReally, I wanted to tell my old friend that her imbalance wasn’t something I could emotionally handle at the time because she triggered all my land mines and I never knew where or when they’d fucking explode, that I was already working with the mentally ill and was unknowingly depleted, that I felt like she was being selfish for unleashing so much weight and not giving me room to voice my own anger.\n\nReally, I want to tell my best friend that I think she’s going off on an egoic tangent, that her schmoozy gatherings are turning her into a shallow, boring bitch. \n\n\nBut I recognize those things aren’t “Really” what I want to say. \n\n\nI want to say I admire your creative energy and am scared of rejection, too.\n\nI want to say I trust the snot out of you for being so honest and think our friendship can withstand big waves, too. \n\nI want to say I miss you, love you, and it’s okay to need space, too.",
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      "body": "Exactly! And not trample on anyone in the process",
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      "body": ">We all have different truths and I unabashedly admire those willing to do the dirty work to unveil their true selves.\n\nI agree! They are brave souls. We just need to find or realize those truths that resonate with us.",
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      "body": "My heart hurts for those needing to be right, who desperately cling to a belief system, especially organized religion. The moment we grasp onto a singular idea we are shutting ourselves off to bigger truths. I’m happy religion can provide a framework or language for us to speak truths our souls can only perceive the edges of. It is a tool, but not truth itself. \n\nThose who cling to any belief completely rob themselves of experiencing anything greater. We have to constantly let go and let our egos die in order to make room for new love, light, and ways of being. \n\nAny words that are divisive  are not truth. I won’t stand for close-minded negativity that comes from scared religious zealots. I don’t feel a need to argue what I believe to be true because I’m constantly in flux and my conceptions are able to be molded by engaging discussion. There's no way our human brains can fathom the orchestration of the universe. As soon as someone is belittling of others’ opinions, I won’t participate in the conversation. To me, that’s not dialogue, it’s a few people throwing shit at each other. I don’t have time for it and my energy is too valuable to be wasted on hate.\n\nSo, please take extended finger of blame and direct it inward. What are you really struggling with? What are you scared of? \n\nWe live in a revolutionary time and there’s plenty to be angry about. Anger isn’t a negative emotion, but it is a fiery one that should be respected and worked with. Denying it only builds pressure underneath the surface. Life, as our teacher, will present us with plenty of opportunities to explode. \n\nI believe it’s my duty to do the hard work of getting to truly know myself in order to rid the world of pain. I won’t hide behind religious or political jargon to mask what I’m really experiencing internally. I wished for a long time that my lifelong subscription to Catholicism would be enough to keep my thirsty spirit satiated, but was left with gnawing unanswered questions and half-hearted “truths”. Later, I found a practice involving Buddhism and Kashmir Shaivism that pointed me inward, but even these teachings I clung to. It’s a constant catch and release, a devoted messy process of admitting I’m wrong in order to find what’s right. \n\nWe all have different truths and I unabashedly admire those willing to do the dirty work to unveil their true selves. \n\n![608D0EAA-BF30-4C0D-BDF2-21DECEE819E0.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmd6b5ZcyEDnhteNS5HUVh8NdNa4RezNA757nLfHjHeNKA/608D0EAA-BF30-4C0D-BDF2-21DECEE819E0.jpeg)",
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      "body": "A few days ago I assisted a portrait photographer at a community college. We took headshots of young students in the medical assisting program. It was a huge shift from working for a misogynist dentist to a laid back female creative. \n\nIt was easy and not overwhelming. I got to see lots of flashes and smiles and didn’t have to be inside any of them. There was no invasion of space, the only discomfort for the students was the large lense of ego pointing directly at their eager faces. No sharp instruments, drilling, or anesthetic needed to rip people open and expose their vulnerabilities. Shifting and adjusting uncomfortably, they try to appear competent and worthy in front of the camera. Like monkeys, they groom each other before their turn. It was so fun for me to watch and laugh with them. We’ve all been there. \n\nI don’t have to silently cry behind a mask anymore. I can work with strong, introverted women who practice using their loud voice and create business cards that turn into flowers, who break shit at parties and who can pull off bold lipstick, who don’t give a shit what you think but will offer a roof and warm bed if you need. I am a strong, thoughtful woman who doesn’t need this current oppressive, competitive, monetized society to tell me how to think, behave, or look. Appearances are deceptive, inciteful, shallow responses to desperation in monotonous, prefabricated “lives”. Our worth is innate and doesn’t have to be sought anywhere other than inside. I refuse to live any other way. \n\n![117F2FB9-5686-4025-979F-3D3302A8D343.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVA6yd2ordtSyv1Jm3qpA8ds6RE2kHVtmasYwjCKcn4Vi/117F2FB9-5686-4025-979F-3D3302A8D343.jpeg)",
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      "body": "https://youtu.be/1w0_kazbb_U\n\nThis TedTalk is amazing!",
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      "body": "I wrote my dad a letter today, telling him why I can’t bring myself to commit to a job quite yet. Telling him not to worry about me, that I’m no longer subjected to manipulative emotional and sexual abuse at the hands of my “superior”. Letting him know I’m not quietly repressing my anger, that I’m slowly working through a lot of pain and have begun to accept myself and others as beautiful and flawed. \n\nI was so ashamed that I let someone else dampen and tread on my wild soul. I was terrified to open and speak those wounds, to allow them to bleed, but they have to in order to purge, scab, and eventually heal. I was scared to admit that at times I’m weak and vulnerable as a newborn. \n\nThere’s no more time to waste in isolation. My courage is brimming over and I feel a deep need to share it creatively. We have no idea the hurts and scars others carry. Our job, my job, is to help people.. to hold their hand along the journey and keep working through myown struggles to shed light on theirs. No one can do it for anyone else, but we can help lighten the burden.\n\n\nThis is a little something I wrote a few days ago in front of the hearth:\n\n![08B14379-91B8-45F0-A4EF-767122C6BA53.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmWnwMtCgUGFkpMP7GDgzq26MAcKP4WvWArsTGbCUY1twU/08B14379-91B8-45F0-A4EF-767122C6BA53.jpeg)\n\n“Big feet, little toes\nSunshine and wind blows\nSacrifice the lamb in the billows\nTwinkling branches, open windows\n\nRight arm baby babbles and dings\nEvery morning he wakes up singing\nQuiet, allowing bird chirping\nWaving, cresting, unresting and unsettled\n\nThe damage has been done\nThere’s no turning back this far along\nYou can’t undo strums in the song\n\nThe blue chair is illumined by the light\nOf the sun from the curtained balcony”\n\n\n\n\nThanks for reading, skimming, browssssing!",
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      "author": "tramp-trampoline",
      "body": "Thanks! I’ll check out your stuff. I’m new to writing poetry too!",
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