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      "body": "Congratulations @thetrueyou! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@thetrueyou/birthday2.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@thetrueyou) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=thetrueyou)_</sub>\n\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "title": "Closing the Open Relationship - The Body Throws in the Towel",
      "body": "After both of us getting nasty bacterial infections from multiple lovers... and yes condoms were used.\n\nwe kinda looked at each other.. and stopped the adventure.\n\nIn the course, if this, a Dr put me on Cipro. Results were pain in legs, mental instability in thinking and a nasty 4-day flue. And this was a week after stopping that , what should be an illegal drug.\n\nNow 4 weeks later walking is difficult and the body is not the same. I am seeing an acupuncturist and learning to limit life to just not live in pain.  I also will never see another Dr unless there is a spear lodged in my skull. \n\nI came a little to close to death on this one. Speaking from what I sensed in me.\n\nSo, just us now,, and simple, and easy , a talk about weather, family and what show to watch next or what album to listen to.\n\nFor some couples, the open relationship works. I thought truly I could handle it. After all, I write books and do lectures on nonduality. But this.. this... was just too much. I felt like it ripped me out of the peace I lived in and enjoyed too much.\n\nWe both tried it and stamped it. What is next.. who knows...but I sense a stronger hold with her as we learned to face each other directly and talk so well together.\n\nThere still may be a wanting on her end for this, I am not sure. This is something we will talk about once again after we heal. She like many likes the idea of having both, as we all do. But when the rubber hits the road and it goes from thoughts to reality its a whole different game. \n\nWe did talk about holding onto friends, tea, and talk.. just leave the sex out of it. \n\nLove is about resting into the peace of what is there, seeing that and enjoying. We have so many cherished moments and great events and family that can be colored for so long to enjoy.  SO, for now, the rollercoaster ride of emotions will be closed. \n\n\n![rodolfo-barreto-1333859-unsplash (1).jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRAqzBuhFJkLpvrXdgRdsgFnjsN6VTHTroqkXhEhsMmc9/rodolfo-barreto-1333859-unsplash%20(1).jpg)\n\nPhoto by RODOLFO BARRETO on Unsplash",
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      "body": "That's quite intense @thetrueyou.\nBut I really enjoyed reading your story. \nHope to read more from you!\nThanks for sharing!",
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      "permlink": "re-shaman-ra-re-thetrueyou-open-relationships-a-path-to-hell-for-me-20190505t114450519z",
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      "body": "yes true. we live in a commercial world where everyone is lost in object consciousness.  Fortunately this story ends with her getting rid of the guy and returning to me.  This happens after I let go and allowed the story to playout. iT did in that we both got nasty bacterial infections and put an end to the open part of the relationship. Now its just us.  Love??  it has blossomed, but only if you remain in stillness enough to see it.",
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      "body": "True love and legitimate relationships are dead in the Western world. Of course, what can you expect when we are all raised in a fake ass, capitalistic world where making a fictitious commodity is the number one priority and we are surrounded by shallow Hollywood music and BS? Perhaps it is best for all of us to go monk? Upvoted and resteemed, btw.",
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      "body": "Terrible story. I'm sorry you're going through all this. I do hope you find the natural remedies needed to put you back on your feet.\nOur only hope these days is to do our own research and stay away from organized medicine as much as possible.",
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      "body": "heaven is here, a boundless space of presence, the mind is this.. the body is this.. you are this. \n\nlove the post!!",
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      "title": "Open Relationships  A path to hell  ( for me)",
      "body": "This is an article I wrote about what it feels like to be in a very challenging place in an open relationship. This challenge was handled by opening to a grander presence and doing nothing but letting it fix itself.  The fixing came in the form of bodily infections, and nasty antibiotics that have now altered my life too much.  Enjoy. \n\n\n\n\n\nKill the ME and the Relationship\n\nMy great love is dating another guy. They are in love. Watching this is super painful. It places me in this place of utter pain always. The pain is so bad that if I leave, I am stepping into living alone. Everything I have been experiencing will be gone. The relationship with her daughter, her friends, family, neighbors, my gym memberships and even the gigs I have set up in her area to be with her.\n\nWe went from wanting to live together to now an open relationship. She tells me she does not want a relationship anymore and living together scares her. Yet in the same breath does not ever want to lose me or not have me here with her. What a mess, and very confusing.\n\nSo in the nutshell. \" Stay with me and bite the pain of me not being sure what I want as I go off with another lover here and there\"\n\nI have two choices as I see it. 1. leave and end this and go back on my own. 2. Stay and watch and put up with this and work with my anger, jealousy and the pain that is there.\n\nIf I stay it becomes a battle of inner wisdom to handle this head on.\n\nEckart Tolle, author of the Power of Now says when problems exist. \"either change the situation, leave the situation or see through it.\"\n\nI don't want to leave and I can't change what is happening. This leaves me with seeing through it.\n\nAlright ,lets put on the rain gear and go face the storm direct head on right here.\n\n\n![hans-peter-gauster-252751-unsplash.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXTpGPv3dG3zTz6VhAs5hGSSQedp5oFvqkwpmWBSpwYp6/hans-peter-gauster-252751-unsplash.jpg)\n(Photo by Hans-Peter Gauster on Unsplash)\n\nRelationships are what really? Can I touch this relationship? Smear jelly on it? Really where is it? What does it do? It seems like its something that drains you, keeps you up at night and worried. Yet where exactly is it? As I investigate, it cant be found? It has no physical place or even energy that is consistently appearing as good, or bad.\n\nIt waivers. As a thought, it colors as good or bad, back and forth with no real solid place that is always is. Yet we think if the relationship is good, then we are going to feel good. And we experience if the relationship is bad then we feel bad. We also think, that if the relationship keeps going then we keep seeing whoever is the representative of that relationship.\n\nDoes a relationship have to be there in order to see another person? I see other people all the time and we don't have a relationship. I see clerks, and waiters and skateboarders. I enjoy their company as they light into my life. Just for a fleeting moment. Yet there is no relationship? or is there?\n\nThe definition of relationship is to \"be interrelated, having tones and tonalities\" This is not something of the mind, its of energy vibration and tone. Tones and vibrations don't need a mental story to connect. They don't need an agreement. Are we then all connected in a tone already? Are their borders and boundaries to tones? In music, a G chord can ring out and sound sweet as its followed by a C chord. Yet can sound odd as its followed by a B7th. These are both tones that do echo and paint space, whether pleasant or not. (ok i am getting off track here i think, hmm.. )\n\nThe point I am making here is relationships are more of a vibration vs a thought. They are a feeling of connecting through energy. \"I feel you\". So even the married couple that is sitting across the table in a divorce mediation, lost in mind may have a moment where they stop and feel each other in tone. They are still connected and in a relationship. Even though the mind says otherwise based upon story and events which appeared to separate them due to more and more other stories.\n\nOur minds create separation. \"what is wrong with right now until you think about it\" - Bob Adamson.\n\n\n![anthony-cantin-128670-unsplash.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmeFXb3AnjBruGfee4d2MYjQCYmiSzAqjyzVS2p4rCs9R6/anthony-cantin-128670-unsplash.jpg)\n(Photo by Anthony Cantin on Unsplash)\n\nSo to see through a relationship challenge. Kill it. Kill the relationship, give up the mental construct of this relationship fixing anything. Kill the story, let go into what is here. Ask \" what is here?\" answer - just this....Just this present awareness patterning as thoughts of being separated of feeling alone, of feeling sad.\n\nTo kill a relationship you have to kill the ME. You... have to kill the Me. There are two characters just mentioned there. YOU and ME. What is the YOU? -\n(boundless presence) The ME is a story an idea an image, a thought.\n\nIn a deeper look, there never has been or is a ME. The Me offers the feeling of being separated. These thoughts make me feel hurt because of their untruth. Living in just this presence is the key to happiness. Let the relationship go and run as it does, let the expressions of it bloom where they do. This is the only way.\n\nFixing or leaving just further supports the feeling of a separate ME, then creating another story to hold up or watch or heal from. This Me then has to heal and get back to wholeness, or this ME has to work at trust and getting another separate Me to another place. uuuuugghhh... this is exhausting to hold up.\n\nWhy not right now go into \"what is here\" this present awareness appearing as everything and release the ME and the relationship? Truth and happiness are there in that place, and tones and energies of all await in song. A score sits waiting to be played. The notes of silence and stillness.\n\nSO maybe i have walked into this storm directly now and see that it is just the sky the whole time. The tones are stillness, the relationship has been stillness the whole time. And no matter what happens... if my lover goes off with another in this story of an open relationship? Am I not stillness always? Does any action another person does ever touch the presence I am? Does the ugly orange couch ever affect the space of the room? Does the storm cloud scratch the sky?\n\nI am in the crossroads of life now. We all are. This place is the moment to choose who we are? Are we going to continue to be the separate mind self chasing stories to be a certain way? To offering fleeting moments of happiness, or are we going to step into what does not change and offers HOME. ?\n\nNote - Living as the OPEN HOME, as present awareness, will shift also any relationship, by shifting how I walk into a room. Living as present awareness clear the mind and body, and offers a state of grace, this grace is love. Love is...\n\nThe rest of the stories around it will be THAT too then. They are that, its pure physics.\n\nOk, this 3 am writer now feels better time to go back to bed.",
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      "body": "I had a uti. I went to an urgent care center. They gave me Cipro.  Day one I woke up at night crying and wanting to kill myself.  My mind was in a dark dark place. Day two my skin hurt, day three my legs hurt. I stopped, then..  Three weeks later I walk like an old man now,  I cant run if i need to. I used to skateboard, and run and work out every other day. I was in top shape. Now I live on suppliments to beat this, visit holisitic stores and am gonna spend a lot of time and money on accupuncture just to feel no pain when I sleep or walk.  \n\nOur medical system is about money, pills and greed.  The community of the people here has the true healing.",
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      "body": "yes i agree. I carry no health insurance and after my last visit with a dr ive decided never to go back to one unless there is a spear in my head. Im not kidding.  The answers and  blind zombie communication was horrible. Why do we worship these morons.",
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      "title": "Saying Yes",
      "body": "Saying Yes\n\nWe often don't say yes to what shows up in life. We may say yes to a few things. \" I will approve of this, but not that?\"\n\nDoes the act of saying NO limit us and place us deeply into the object consciousness. (Eckart Tolle term)\n\nIn this place of OC, we are always trying to put our ducks in a row. And happiness will only happen if these ducks are aligning to what the mind deems right. The mind decides what is right based upon past experiences of pain that the individual self-experienced.\n\nThis individual self is dead. It's not even alive. It is thought only. Just like Jim Morrison, Elton John, Michael, Will Farrell. These are characters, thoughts dead energy. Just like the word \"water\" is not water.\n\nThis in-dividual (not divided) does not exist.\n\nOur thoughts which form from the mind, from memories and experiences from this dead separate ME character never allow life to be YES. They are formed in fear. Paths of yes and no are always being shown as thoughts support the world of OC, the separate ME.\n\nLiving in the OC mind does not allow you to live as who you are true. The True YOU. Which is..\n\nJust this...\nUnbounded love\n\nWhy Do We Fear the Act of YES?\n\nWe fear to let go.. and saying yes.. because we don't know what we step into when doing that is.. wholeness.. even the act of doing it, or sensing to do it.. is wholeness.\n\nNow the key is how to maintain the state of staying here?\n\nYes, Yes, Yes....??\n\nThen focus upon what is here... home the endless YOU.\n\nBonus Writing - - - - -\n\nSay yes to pain? Sit with it and say YES.\n\nPhoto by Mpho Mojapelo on Unsplash\n\n![mpho-mojapelo-1468827-unsplash.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRCuMb2a5dt35e3jKzViQXhxajeQC5auyL7uTSN8mF1fL/mpho-mojapelo-1468827-unsplash.jpg)",
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      "title": "Stepping into an Open Relationship - update",
      "body": "Two months ago we agreed to an open relationship. She found someone very quickly and now is in love. I found my guitar and more time for me. At first, it was exciting to see her so full of joy and happiness. Her attitude and desire to be sexual was through the roof. \n\nOver time though I noticed I was feeling hurt as the new relationship energy just swept her away. It felt like our relationship was being overshadowed by this other one she was in. Id see her texting him all the time and then trying to find more time to see him. I started going from a love of seeing her happy to the anger of the existence of all of this. \n\nWe talked a lot.. a whole lot. I told her I don't like this anymore. I felt like wallpaper. But the problem was, if I said stop, then there is resentment if I said keep going then there was this continual pain. \n\nI was in a bad place. The more I tried the more it all hurt. \n\nSo... what was the solution?  \n\nIf I could find a way to put some boundaries down to protect US, what we have?  and then take my attention and focus it inward into what and who I was.. the deep presence of the I Am.  That may be the answer. \n\nSo we talked and I suggested some boundaries for this exploration that she is going thru. Things like,... set up a schedule of dates so I can prepare. Don't have him over the house anymore, it's too much. These two she agreed with and they seemed to help. \n\nI then, turned my attention from making the relationship and her and us my life to focus on me. I focused on home... the inner presence of who I am. This involved making music again, writing, and doing seminars.  \n\nThis would offer our relationship breath and my energy coming into her home would be a sailboat vs a powerboat. \n\nTwo hours after I shifted my attention to me and my presence... I get a call from her. \n\nShe tells me two things.. \n\n1.  that she loves me more than ever and that I have not been seeing it as I was wrapped up in her little story or exploring too much\n\n2. she wants me to move in at the end of summer, life is too short. \n\nI smiled at all of this. \n\nToday I feel a new and old relationship returning. It's a new me, this is the me she met years ago. It's full of breath and openness. \n\nThe future?  Who knows what that will be. I sense she and her love boy won't last long. Just a sense, there may be others after that.. who knows. But what is guaranteed and I have complete control over is??  This.. just this.. here.. this presence of me resting in myself naturally..  This act is happiness. \n\n![karl-chor-11506-unsplash (1).jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQpA1DvkKYp5iGcjQoF4vd5QLyvw83Fm7Zj8Z1gmF1v2P/karl-chor-11506-unsplash%20(1).jpg)\n\nPhoto by karl chor on Unsplash",
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      "body": "great writing. I am in an open relationship. We used to watch tv each night like zombies. Now we face each other, talk and flirt with others, then we go have amazing sex. We are connected so much more deeply in truth. I will never go back.\n\nMost I share this with dont get it. Its about living in raw truth. Most hold up a huge character to hide behind.",
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      "title": "",
      "body": "excellent writing. I am dating now. omg!!  every person i meet has the same line  \" i want a real relationship, with love and happiness\"  this is ok, but the eagerness of this spills over the tea in the first meeting so strongly that it kills what is there.. .  its like a job interview, if you do one thing wrong, or say something wrong.. you are cut. The anger the determination is insane.  I also totally lose them when i mention im in an open relationship. That kills it.  I spent years finding me.. a boundless presence. and this presence is my relationship.. i want to share it.   Dreams, and visions of what has to be or should be veils truth everytime.   Soo.. if you want to know what its like meeting zombies and people very insecure. Go on a dating site",
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      "body": "where is it \n\nhow do i find it\n\n“its everywhere and everything”\n\neven the word Fuck is it\n\neven the feeling that you don’t have it\n\nis it\n\nThis is a whole different place to see life from\n\nit frees you\n\nthen offers \n\nrichness\n\n![jamie-templeton-497340-unsplash.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmZaotkz6sKamcUL6RCHpjAz4FWHRqQcdNagR1A6vUaLkR/jamie-templeton-497340-unsplash.jpg)\nPhoto by Jamie Templeton on Unsplash\n\n\n\nWhen enlightened … Rules\n\n1. Dont ever say you are\n2. You will never find words to explain\n3. No one will understand\n4. Yet everyone will stand near you sensing something\n5. Sex will be better\n6. Grilled cheese sandwiches too\n7. Beer and wine wont get you drunk anymore\n8. Sleeping will stop\n9. No one will die anymore\n10. Blue Oyster Cult records will electrify your being\n11. You will laugh\n\n12. Life will flow more and being OK is Ok\n13. Your harvest will have just begun, watch it now thread into everything",
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      "body": "The open sign means\n\nsomething more is available now\n\nsomething to help you more\n\nfix that things\n\nget that\n\ndistract from something\n\nfill your self here\n\nOpen for business\n\nwho were you before it was open?\n\nwere you not full then\n\nClosed makes us feel like \n\nwe are cold and need it to be Open\n\nClosed signs are never lit\n\nonly Open ones are\n\nClosed is usually on a board\n\nwritten\n\ncold letters\n\nwe are punished for even looking at it\n\n![richard-balog-647377-unsplash (1).jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmVhs4XwPjYFnYeYGgDykEZNr1HvPwRKThwRWfUp8iUn6d/richard-balog-647377-unsplash%20(1).jpg)\nPhoto by Richard Balog on Unsplash",
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      "body": "I am sitting here with tea and listening to an experimental record. Something odd but soothing. \n\nI want to share something different that has happened to me recently. I have been in a relationship for over two years with a girl I met on a dating site. The relationship started out great, lots of fire and sparks, fun and joy. Over about the past 8 months, it faded into routine same dance movements and eventually into a place of stagnant. We tried to spark it in all kinds of ways. We found ourselves then back to where we were.  You cant force letting go it has to just happen. \n\nSo, after some talking, she informed me that she really has never \"played the field\". She went from a 15 year marriage to me. I have experienced a lot of that and enjoyed it immensely. \n\nSo, we communicated. We sat facing each other, holding hands and talking about the energy that was appearing between us. This is how we handled things always. It works great. \n\nRight after we discussed opening up the relationship, we found ourselves talking and laughing and connecting in a very light fun manner. ahhh... something was shifting!\n\nA day later, she was on Tinder. So was I. A day and one hour later she found a guy. I was still swiping, and wondering if my skateboard needed new bearings. \n \n![renee-fisher-494610-unsplash.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXe4vNDx5FZX24YUroNJqbcrKtiUVPkuvdZNjcPMx9Att/renee-fisher-494610-unsplash.jpg)\n(Photo by Renee Fisher on Unsplash)\n\n\nFinally came the moment where she had a date. Her first date. The chatting before the date, the txt and the photos.. all came flying in and she shared them with me. The more she shared, the more I wanted to ravage her. She responded very well to this. Our sex life and passion went through the roof, just with the thought of her dating, and the joy of another man complimenting her. \n\nThe day of the date, I was playing music she was to meet him for coffee and see where it goes. She was nervous and excited. I noticed my anticipation was high, and anxiety, horrible thoughts appeared in my head about loss, yet mostly there was a primal \" I have to take you\" energy appearing. \n\nHer date was a coffee a talk and booom... a hook up. It was fast and hard. Something new for her. (ps - we bought condoms the night before together)\n\nI told her txt me when done. Two hours after it started I got the txt \" he is gone\".  ahhhhhh....\n\nI drove like a bat out of hell to her home. When she opened the door?? Her hair was amazing, her face flush, her body radiating. We hugged and kissed and embraced each other like new lovers. She shared her story.. \" I missed you, I really love you\"  \n\nWe went to dinner, and as it seeped in she came closer and close to me, deeper and deeper. That night was amazing and fun. \n\nShe never saw the guy again, he was a hookup and she didn't like the raw coldness of it. He still tries to meet up with her, but she wants no parts. \n\nSince then, we have been talking and are going to see other people and hold our sacred ground. The trust I feel and security in what we have is strong. \n\nHere are some points I want to bullet out about open relationships:\n\n- the sex with your partner becomes 10x better\n- the deep connection goes deeper, communication becomes a tool to connect\n- the freedom and thought of never losing them is wonderful, because there is pure truth always, vs cheating and lying\n- others not experiencing this never understand and don't like hearing about it\n\nwait... let me go into that last point a bit. So.. after we opened up the relationship, i was so happy in love again I wanted to tell all my friend. So I did. The response I got from most of them was not warming at all. There was also no curiosity. You're on your own on this one. \n\n- the open relationship also opens your energy to a truer you.. a deeper you. \n- you realize that you have been living life according to a story \" the way it ought to be\" vs living with what is there\n- jealousy is different, its not as intense as with mono, its more open a lighter emotion\n- as  a couple you talk and talk and talk and connect so much more, its a beautiful thing\n- you do get to kiss others, and then bring that energy back to your sacred relationship ( she actually had better kisses after her date)\n- no secrets, no lying, purely open and real\n\nThese are just some of the experiences I have seen so far. Its the beginning of a journey.",
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