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      "title": "A woman's fury holds lifetimes of wisdom | Tracee Ellis Ross",
      "body": "![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmW6kZcguhVmV5i43eFjNQoNvutPcAdCGQMbrbyvSExKaH/image.png)\n\nSo, I have a friend. She's an actress, she's in her 60s. She's super bright, badass, emotionally intelligent. And a couple of days before Christmas, she was at the post office. It was really crowded, as it is around the holidays, and she was filling out some forms and she was really focused. And out of nowhere, someone moved her out of the way -- just physically put their hands on her and moved her out of the way. He apparently needed something that she was blocking, so he moved her. Maybe he had said something to her, maybe he didn't, she didn't hear it ... Either way, she was focused, she was filling out the form. And the next thing you know, there were hands on her, and she was being moved out of the way. He then got what he was reaching for, whatever she was blocking, and went on his merry way. \n\nShe said that she was shocked at first -- yeah. And then a fury rose up in her that she could not explain: not annoyance, not frustration, but \"fury\" was the word that she used. And she went on to say, \"I mean, I wanted to get physical. I don't know -- I was furious. And I don't know why. I mean, he didn't hit me. He didn't hurt me, he didn't violate me. He moved me, and I wanted to hurt him, or at the very least, run after him and yell in his face.\" So later, I was left pondering this fury, and looking for an explanation as to why, even in her telling of it, I felt fury, too, and why this was a word and a feeling that I was hearing a lot about lately. I feel like this is the point in the room where all the men are getting a little bit uncomfortable. It's OK. Stay with me. \n\nThis fury is something that I have been chomping on since the last US presidential election. And it seems that many women have. This fury was not my friend's alone. Her fury was ignited by lifetimes of men helping themselves to women's bodies without consent. There's a culture of men helping themselves to women, and in this case, in a seemingly innocuous way, where a woman's body is like a saltshaker: \"Get out of the way so I can get to the fries\" -- to the most egregious, violent and horrific situations. I imagine that some of you are wondering what the connection is between the innocuous and the horrific, two things that seem to be on opposite ends of the spectrum. Well, the common thread is the spectrum. \n\nThe innocuous makes space for the horrific. And women have to live with the effects of both and everything in between. Fellas, can you imagine you're just on your phone, and someone walks up to you and just takes it out of your hand? And they're like, \"OK dude, I don't know why you're getting so upset, I want to make a phone call. I'm going to give it back to you as soon as I'm done. Whatever.\" And then imagine if someone takes that cell phone out of your hands -- I don't know -- once a day, twice a day, random times. And the explanation is, \"Yeah, well, I mean, you got a fancy case,\" or \"You shouldn't have taken it out of your pocket,\" or \"Yep. Yeah. That's just the way it is.\" But somehow, no one ever talks about the person who took the cell phone. Overly simplified, I get it, but you see where I'm going. Men are so used to helping themselves, that it's like ... they can't help themselves. And not because men are fundamentally less moral, but because this is a very big blind spot for most men. When someone helps themselves to a woman, it not only triggers discomfort and distress, but the unspoken experiences of our mothers' lives, sisters' lives and generations of women before us. \n\nThat's lifetimes of women dealing with men who assume they know better for us than we know for ourselves, being the property of husbands, landowners, and having old, white men tell us the fate of our lady parts; lifetimes of having our bodies used for love and objects of desire, instead of bodies that we get to wield and use as we choose; lifetimes of knowing that whether we play by their rules or not, we still have to tolerate harassment, assault and even worse; lifetimes of our bodies being used as property that can be hit and hurt, manipulated and moved and like objects that are not deserving of respect; lifetimes of not being able to express the anger of our bodies.\n\nIt's no wonder we feel this fury. And if you add in the history of race -- which is a whole other talk -- it gets exponentially more complicated. When women get manhandled, we start to rationalize, try to figure out the ways that it was -- \"It was probably our fault. You know what? He probably said something, and I didn't hear him. I'm just overreacting. I'm totally overreacting.\" No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no. Women have been trained to think that we are overreacting or that we're being too sensitive or unreasonable. \n\nWe try to make sense of nonsense, and we swallow the furious feelings. We try to put them into some hidden place in our minds, but they don't go away. That fury sits deep inside as we practice our smiles -- \"Yes, of course\" -- and try to be pleasant. \"I know --\" \"Yes, yes, of course,\" because apparently, women aren't supposed to get angry. That fury that my friend felt holds centuries of never being able to directly address or express our indignation, our frustration and our rage. When someone thinks they can help themselves to our bodies, it not only ignites the current fury, but it lights up the past. What seems like a benign moment at the post office is actually an anger grenade. Well, kaboom! Today, the global collection of women's experiences can no longer be ignored. \n\nTime's up on thinking that we're overreacting or \"This is just the way it is.\" Time's up on women being held responsible for men's bad behavior. It is men's responsibility to change men's bad behavior. Our culture is shifting, and it's time. So my fellow women and our gentle men, as we are here together within this particular window of this large-scale movement towards women's equality, and as we envision a future that does not yet exist, we both have different invitations. Men, I call you in as allies, as we work together towards change. \n\nMay you be accountable and self-reflective, compassionate and open. May you ask how you can support a woman and be of service to change. And may you get help if you need it. And women, I encourage you to acknowledge your fury. Give it language. Share it in safe places of identification and in safe ways. Your fury is not something to be afraid of. It holds lifetimes of wisdom. Let it breathe and listen. Thank you. Thank you.",
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      "title": "",
      "body": "@ancapbarbie is right. You're spamming your issues anywhere else. We can only help in a proper way.",
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      "permlink": "7-ways-to-make-a-conversation-with-anyone",
      "title": "7 Ways to Make a Conversation With Anyone",
      "body": "Hello, everybody. I'm going to start with a question. How many of you know the person sitting next to you from before today? Interesting. So, do you remember the first conversation that you ever had with that person? \n\nYou know conversations are links. Let's imagine every conversation to be a tiny metal link. And every time you talk to a stranger, a metal link is formed. And every conversation that you have after that moment, the link gets stronger and stronger. And every day each one of us meets so many strangers: the grocery guy, the cab guy maybe the receptionist at a new office you went to. And with every conversation we build new links. Until finally at the end, we've created a kind of massive World Wide Web of conversation. World Wide Web. It's a catchy word. I think I've heard that somewhere.\n\n\nThat's it, right? A conversation. It's a fascinating thing. A conversation is an adventure. A conversation gives you a whole new perspective. A conversation opens a door. Conversations can make war and conversations can make peace. And conversations define who we are as a human race. Think about this. Every single person in your life was once a stranger to you. And you knew nothing about them until you had that first conversation. So I'm here today to tell you to talk to strangers, to have a conversation. And I'm here to tell you how. \n\n## Seven ways to make a conversation with almost anyone. \n\n![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmQBE4jDVaWmd9XR8AS8HEtPc3cuNVR62qSLR4iCfhfagT/image.png)\n\nI'm once a call center agent and a good product presenter and I love talking to people. I do. I love it. And I'm so glad that I do it for a living. Here's what my day is like. Every single evening (Philippine time), I go into my set, I put on a mic, and I have a conversation with so many different people ... that I can't see. Yeah. You know what the hardest part is, though? It's time. In an eight-hour duty, I get 3 minutes. That's all the talk there is. And in 20 minutes I have to convince you that I am your best friend. How do I do that? How do I establish a connection? I have 20 minutes to inform you, to excite you, to engage with you but most importantly, 20 out of the 20 times that I switch on that mic, I have to leave a smile on your face. Except, I can't see you, I know nothing about you, and I have no way of gauging your reactions. \n\nHow do you do it? How do you talk to a stranger? Well, my one years in BPO have taught me these simple little tricks. Strangers, they are everywhere. And we've always been told, \"Don't talk to strangers!\" But I beg to differ. Every stranger comes with an opportunity, an opportunity to learn something new, an opportunity to have an experience you've never had or hear a story that you've never heard before. And you've had that moment, right? You're in the room with someone you don't know, and you look across the room, you see a stranger, and you think, \"I want to talk to this person.\" And you can almost hear the first word but it just won't come out, it kind of gets stuck about in your throat, it kind of goes up and down and you don't know - You know what? Here's my advice: just say it. What's the worst that can happen? They want to talk to you. Well, they're not talking to you now. \n\n\n# The first word floodgates\n\nI truly believe that the first word acts as a floodgate. You know, once you said the first word everything else just flows. So keep it simple. A \"Hi,\" a \"Hey,\" a \"Hello.\" And do what every good bowler does. Just gather the enthusiasm, the positivity, the energy, put on a big smile and say, \"Hi!\". I know. There's going to be that strange moment right now. Turn to someone sitting next to you, stick your hand out and say hello. Go on. I love the awkward laugh there. \"Why is she making us do this?\"  The first word floodgates. \n\n# Skip the small talk\n\nYou know, here's a challenge we face every day. Time. We have 90 seconds on the phone, and we have to make that conversation with a stranger memorable. So how do you do it? What's the biggest challenge? Honestly, if we get stuck in the rut of: \"Hi!\" \"Hey!\" \"How are you?\" \"I'm fine.\" \"What's going on?\" \"Nothing much.\" \"Same old.\" \"So tell me what's new?\" There you go, 45 seconds down, wasted. Right? So, here's my advice: skip the small talk and ask a really personal question. And don't be afraid. Trust me. You will be surprised how much people are willing to share if you just ask. So ask any kind of personal question. Maybe: Interesting name. How did your parents think of it? Is there a story behind it? Or ... How long have you lived in this city? And do you remember the first day you landed here?\n\n Answers to those questions are always something unique, always something personal. My favorite one to try is: Where do you come from? And where does your family live? Unfailingly, every single time I sit in a cab, I do this. I ask that question. Where do you come from? And where does your family live? \n\nLet me tell you a little story. we were coming home one night ... we get into this taxi, open the door, sit down and I say, \"Where are you from? Where does your family live?\" And the 60-year-old cab-driver goes on to tell us all about his life. We talked about politics, we talked about music, family, wife, his farm. And 20 minutes later he is convinced that I am the perfect groom for his 21-year-old college-educated son from mindanao. And as I'm getting out of the taxi, he is taking out a passport-sized photograph with this look of enthusiasm. I have to say, it was a very difficult goodbye. But the moral of the story, really, is what starts with a \"Hello\" can end with a marriage proposal. And that is a warning. lol.\n\n# Find the \"me-toos\"\n\nHave you ever met someone who starts a conversation like they're starting a debate? \"I am from Philippines.\" \"I hate Philippines.\" Yeah? Nothing kills a conversation like a negative. When you meet someone for the first time make an effort to find the one thing that you and that other person might have in common. When you start at that point and then move outward from there, you will find that all of a sudden the conversation becomes a lot easier. And that's because both of you suddenly are on the same side of something. And that's a really powerful feeling. \n\nNow, what could you possibly have in common with a stranger you ask? Could be anything, right? You're both in the same place at the same time, maybe you're from the same country, maybe you both like the winter or you're longing for it to rain. I don't know, you'd find something. When you find a \"me too,\" you automatically have a kind of buy-in from the other person. Trust me, that's helpful. \n\n\n# Pay a unique compliment. \n\nI read somewhere that people will forget what you do, and they'll forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel. So be generous. And go out and give someone a nice full compliment. So, I have this belief about a \"compliment immunity meter\", and it comes from this experience I had when I met this gorgeous supermodel. And I look at her and I say, \"Wow! You are beautiful!\" And there is no reaction on her face. And I think to myself, \"How?\" That's when I realized, she is immune to the word \"beautiful.\" She's probably heard it a hundred thousand times today. And if she's on social media, she's heard it a million times today. \n\nThere are some words that each of us have developed an immunity to. It could be \"nice,\" it could be \"awesome,\" it could be \"cool\" ... Stay away from these. Try and construct a compliment that's unique and genuine, and you don't have to lie. Really. When you look at someone and say, \"I love how when you smile, it's like your nose smiles, and then your eyes smile, and your ears smile, even your forehead smiles and suddenly, the whole person is just smiling.\" You see, I hope that's a compliment you're not going to forget for a while. Pay a unique and genuine compliment. \n\n# Ask for an opinion\n\nAll of us have opinions; trust me. And we all want them to be heard and everybody wants validation. So go on and ask for an opinion, and that's when you open up a two-way street. That is when the real communication begins, and you will be surprised how much you can pick up about a person just by asking their opinion on something pretty generic.\n\nHere's a mistake that some people make. They ask your opinion about something really difficult. It feels almost intimidating. Somewhere in a room, full of very well-informed people, and someone was to come up to me and say, \"So what do you think about the way the oil prices have affected the real estate market in Philippines?\" I feel a bit cornered. I feel like I might fail, and this is an examination, and that's the lesson. Nobody needs to fail at a first-time conversation. Just ask something simple. Keep it generic. How do you like your coffee? When did you watch your last movie? What did you think of it? \n\nAnd when somebody gives you their opinion: really listen. Don't listen to reply. Listen to listen. There's a difference. And that brings me to my next point. \n\n# Be present\n\n![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmYzxnKUrmU12mrNHY6DGffX1oi9CfdF1oAN3sd7DxJqNs/image.png)\n\nI know you've been through this. I know I have. You're pouring your heart out to someone, and they are like this, \"Yeah, yeah, go on, keep talking (while texting). I can multitask! What's with Wi-Fi?\" You know, when someone's trying to communicate with you, the least you can do is really be in that conversation. Just be wholeheartedly present, just be there. And - oh! - my favorite part: make eye contact. Trust me, eye contact is where all the magic happens. You can feel the conversation. And trust me, when you are looking at someone in the eye, nine out of ten times, they will not dare look away, right?  Now, if only I could look into the eyes of million people, I would not have to worry about you guys ignoring my post out in feed. That brings me to this: \n\n\n# Name, place, animal, thing.\n\nMy favorite point because I think it's got a catchy name. Name, place, animal, thing. You remember that game? Remember the little details about a person. Remember their name. It's so important. It's awful when you meet someone for 18th time, and you say, \"You must be Paul, no, Peter. Something with the P and it ends with ...\" It's terrible. Remember someone's name and say it back to them. You have no idea how important you're making them feel, and that's not the only detail. Remember all the other details as well. The places they like to go to, the places they've been to, the places they want to go to, their pet's names. How their pet's been feeling lately? The things they like. Remember their children's names, that's such a winner. Remember their wife's names, their girlfriend's names. Just don't mix up the last two because that could be disastrous. Remember these little things about people and repeat it back to them, ask be genuinely interested, and automatically you kind of become an investor in their well-being, so they'll feel responsible to you to keep that conversation going. \n\n\nThere we go. Seven amazing ways that you can make conversation with anyone, and seven reasons why you should use the break that's going to come up to talk to a stranger that you don't know. I'm going to end with this analogy. A conversation is like reading a book. You can turn to any page you want. You can flip to your favorite chapter. You can read as long as you want, and you can read what you want, and every person, trust me, is a really good book. And it saddens me so much that entire human lives are being boiled down to 140 characters and catchy headlines. Because that's not what we are. We are not abridged versions. We are entire human stories. We deserve more from each other. So what are you going to do in this big world we call the library? Are you going to walk around, look at the hard bound copies and read the titles? Or are you going to actually reach for a book, open a page and start reading a story? You decide. Thank you.",
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      "title": "fossbot voter comment",
      "body": "@therealwolf 's created platform smartsteem scammed my post this morning (mothersday) that was supposed to be for an Abused Childrens Charity.  Dude literally stole from abused children that don't have mothers ... on mothersday.  \r\n\r\nhttps://steemit.com/steemit/@prometheusrisen/beware-of-smartsteem-scam",
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      "title": "What makes you special? | Mariana Atencio | TEDxUniversityofNevada",
      "body": "![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmY5TSwJk96XnMKHhPsobfkbrgk65ZNckaizfDLyNyxeSK/image.png)\n\nI am a journalist. My job is to talk to people from all walks of life, all over the world.  Today, I want to tell you why I decided to do this with my life and what I've learned. My story begins in Caracas, Venezuela in South America where I grew up. Place that to me was, and always will be filled with magic and wonder. From a very young age, my parents wanted me to have a wider view of the world. I remember one time when I was around seven years old, my dad came up to me and said, \"Mariana, I'm going to send you and your little sister\" - who was six at the time, \"to a place where nobody speaks Spanish. I want you to experience different cultures.\"\n\n\nHe went on and on about the benefits of spending an entire summer in this summer camp in the United States. Stressing a little phrase that I didn't pay too much attention to what the time, \"You never know what the future holds.\" Meanwhile, in my seven-year-old mind, I was thinking, we were going to get to summer camp in Miami. Maybe it was going to be even better and we were going to go over further north to Orlando where Mickey Mouse lived. I got really excited. My dad, however, had a slightly different plan. From Caracas, he he sent us to Brainerd, Minnesota. Mickey Mouse was not up there. With no cell phone, no snapchat, or Instagram, I couldn't look up any information.  We got there, and one of the first things I noticed was that the other kids' hair was several shades of blonde and most of them had blue eyes. Meanwhile, this is what we look like:\n\n![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVjBFp2yJE7DQXQwvmnM5j7E3wp1BPXWeNPz8mHpQSeCp/image.png)\n\n\nThe first night, camp director gathered everyone around the campfire and said, \"Kids, we have a very international camp this year. The Atencios are here from Venezuela.\" The other kids looked at us as if we were from another planet. They would ask us things like, \"Do you know what a hamburger is?\"  Or \"Do you go to school on a donkey or canoe?\" I would try to answer in my broken English, and they would just laugh.  I know they were not trying to be mean. They were just trying to understand who we were, and make a correlation with the world they knew. We could either be like them, or like characters out of a book filled with adventures like Aladdin or the Jungle Book. We certainly didn't look like them, we didn't speak their language, we were different. \n\n\nWhen you're seven years old, that hearts. But I had my little sister to take care of, and she cried every day at summer camp. So I decided to put on a brave face, and embrace everything I could about the American way of life. We later did what we called \"the summer camp experiment\" for eight years in different cities that many Americans haven't even heard of. What I remember most about these moments was when I finally clicked with someone.  Making a friend was a special reward. Everybody wants to feel valued and accepted, and we think it should happen spontaneously; but it doesn't. When you're different, you have to work at belonging. You have to be either really helpful, smart, funny, anything to be cool for the crowd you want to hang out with. Later on, when I was in high school, my dad expanded on his summer plan, and from Caracas he sent me to Wallingford Connecticut for the senior year of high school. \n\n\nThis time, I remember daydreaming on the plane about \"the American high school experience.\" With a locker. It was going to be perfect, just like in my favorite TV show, \"Saved by the Bell.\" (Laughter) I get there, and they tell me that my assigned roommate is eagerly waiting. I opened the door, and there she was, sitting on the bed, with a headscarf. Her name is Fatima, she was Muslim from Bahrain, and she was not what I expected. She probably sensed my disappointment when I looked at her because I didn't do too much to hide it. \n\n\n\nSee, as a teenager, I wanted to fit in even more, I wanted to be popular maybe have a boyfriend for prom, and I felt that Fatima just got in the way with her shyness and her strict dress code I didn't realize that I was making her feel like the kids at summer camp made me feel. This was the high school equivalent of asking her, \"Do you know what a hamburger is?\"  I was consumed by my own selfishness and unable to put myself in her shoes.  I have to be honest with you.  we only lasted a couple of months together  because she was later sent to live with a counselor instead of other students. I remember thinking, \"She'll be okay.  She's just different.\"  You see, when we label someone as different, it dehumanizes them in a way. They become \"the other.\"  They're not worthy of our time, not our problem, and in fact, they \"the other\" are probably the cause of our problems so how do we recognize our blind spots It begins by understanding what makes you different, by embracing those traits. Only then can you begin to appreciate what makes others special. I remember when this hit me. It was a couple months after that.  \n\n\n![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmRcfDVanS3TpujqEotfhD7RicSyhPsoqmDh1vbRYXS8di/image.png)\n\n\nI had found a boyfriend for prom and made a group of friends, and practically forgotten about Fatima, until everybody signed on to participate in this talent show for charity.  You needed to offer a talent for auction. It seemed like everybody had something special to offer. Some kids were going to play the violin, others were going to recite a theater monologue, and I remember thinking, \"We don't practice talents like these back home.\"  But I was determined to find something of value. The day the talent show comes, and I get up onstage with my little boom box, and put it on the side and press \"Play,\" and a song by my favorite emerging artists Shakira comes up. And I go, \"Whenever, wherever, we're meant to be together,\" and I said, \"My name is Mariana, and I'm going to auction a dance class. And it seemed like the whole school raised their hand to bid. My dance class really stood out from like the tenth violin class offered that day. Going back to my dorm room, I didn't feel different. I felt really special. \n\n\nThat's when I started thinking about Fatima. The person that I had failed to see as special when I first met her. She was from the Middle East, just like Shakira's family was from the Middle East. She could have probably taught me\na thing or two about belly dancing, had I've been open to it.  Now, I want you all to take that sticker that was given to you at the beginning of our session today, where you wrote down what makes you special, and I want you to look at it. If you're watching at home, take a piece of paper, and write down what makes you different. You may feel guarded when you look at it, maybe even a little ashamed, maybe even proud. But you need to begin to embrace it. Remember, it is the first step, in appreciating what makes others special. When I went back home to Venezuela, I began to understand how these experiences were changing me.  Being able to speak different languages, to navigate all these different people and places it I was finally beginning to understand the importance of putting myself in other people's shoes. \n\n\nThat is a big part of the reason why I decided to become a journalist. Especially being from part of the world that is often labeled \"the backyard,\" that is often labeled the backyard the \"the illegal aliens,\" \"third-world,\" \"the others,\"  I wanted to do something to change that. It was right around the time, however, when the Venezuelan government\nshut down biggest television station in our country. Censorship was growing, and my dad came up to me once again  and said, \"How are you going to be a journalist here? You have to leave.  That's when it hit me. That's what he had been preparing me for. That is what the future held for me. So in 2008, I packed my bags, and I came to the United States, without a return ticket this time. I was painfully aware that at 24 years old, I was becoming a refugee of sorts, an immigrant, the other, once again, and now for good.\n\n\nI was able to come on a scholarship to study journalism. I remember when they gave me my first assignment to cover the historic election of President Barack Obama. I felt so lucky, so hopeful, I was like, \"Yes, this is it. I've come to post-racial America, where the notion of us and them is being eroded and will probably be eradicated in my lifetime. Boy, was I wrong, right? Why didn't Barack Obama's presidency alleviate racial tensions in our country? Why do some people still feel threatened by immigrants LGBTQ and minority groups who are just trying to find a space in this United States that should be for all of us? I didn't have the answers back then, but on November 8th, 2016,  when Donald Trump became our president, it became clear that a large part of the electorate sees them as the others. \n\n\nSome see people coming to take their jobs, or potential terrorists who speak a different language. Meanwhile, minority groups oftentimes just see hatred intolerance and narrow-mindedness on the other side. It's like we're stuck in these bubbles that nobody wants to burst. The only way to do it, the only way to get out of it is to realize that being different also means thinking differently. It takes courage to show respect. In the words of Voltaire, \"I may not agree with what you have to say,  but I will fight to the death to defend your right to say it.\" Failing to see anything good on the other side makes a dialogue impossible. without a dialogue we will keep repeating the same mistakes, because we will not learn anything new. \n\n\nI covered the 2016 election for NBC News. It was my first big assignment in this mainstream network where I had crossed over from Spanish television. I wanted to do something different.  I watched election results with undocumented families. Pure thought of sharing that moment with people who weren't citizens, but actually stood the most to lose that night. When it became apparent that Donald Trump was winning, this eight-year-old girl named\nAngelina rushed up to me in tears. She sobbed, she asked me if her mom was going to be deported now. I hugged her back and I said, \"It's going to be okay,\"  but I really didn't know.  This was the photo we took that night forever ingrained in my heart. Here was this little girl who was around the same age I was  when I went to camp in Brainerd. She already knows she is \"the other.\"  She walks home from school in fear, every day, that her mom can be taken away.\n\n\n\nSo, how do we put ourselves in Angelina's shoes. How do we make her understand she is special, and not simply unworthy of having her family together? By giving camera time to her and families like hers, I tried to make people see them as human beings  and not simply \"illegal aliens.\" Yes, they broke a law,  and they should pay a penalty for it, but they've also given everything for this country, like many other immigrants before them have. I've already told you\nhow my path to personal growth started. To end I want to tell you how I hit the worst bump in the road yet. One that shook me to my very core.  The day, April 10th 2014, I was driving to the studio and I got a call from my parents. \"Are you on the air?\" they asked.  I immediately knew something was wrong. \"What happened?\" I said.  \"It's your sister; she's been in a car accident.\"  It was as if my heart stopped.  My hands gripped the steering wheel, and I remember hearing the words, \"It is unlikely she will ever walk again.\" They say your life can change in a split second. Mine did at that moment. \n\n\nMy sister went from being my successful other half,  only a year apart in age, to not being able to move her legs, sit up, or get dressed by herself. This wasn't like summer camp where I could magically make it better. This was terrifying.  Throughout the course of two years, my sister underwent 15 surgeries, and she spent most of that time in a wheelchair. But that wasn't even the worst of it. The worst was something so painful it's hard to put into words even now. It was the way people looked at her. Looked at us, changed. People were unable to see a successful lawyer or millennial with a sharp wit and a kind heart, everywhere we went, I realize that people just saw a poor girl in a wheelchair.  They were unable to see anything beyond that. After fighting like a warrior, I can thankfully tell you,  that today my sister is walking, and has recovered beyond anyone's expectations.\n\n\n\nBut during that traumatic ordeal, I learned there are differences that simply suck, and it's hard to find positive in them. My sister's not better off because of what happened,  but she taught me you can't let those differences define you. Being able to re-imagine yourself beyond what other people see. That is the toughest task of all, but it's also the most beautiful. You see, we all come to this world in a body. People with physical or neurological difficulties, environmentally impacted communities, immigrants, boys, girls, boys who want to dresses as girls, girls with veils, women have been sexually assaulted, athletes to bend their knee as a sign of protest, black, white, Asian, Native American, my sister you or me But sometimes, society tells us and we tell ourselves we don't But sometimes, society tells us and we tell ourselves  we don't fit the mould. Well, if you look at my story, from being born somewhere different, to belly dancing in high school,  to telling stories you wouldn't normally see on TV. What makes me different is what has made me stand out and be successful. I have traveled the world, and talked to people from all walks of life. You know what I've learned?  The single thing every one of us has in common is being human. So take a stand to defend your race, the human race. \n\n\nLet's appeal to it. Let's be humanists, before and after everything else.  To end, I want you to take that sticker that piece of paper where you wrote down what makes you different, and I want you to celebrate it today and everyday, shouting from the rooftops. I also encourage you to be curious and ask, What is on other people's pieces of paper?\nWhat makes them different? Let's celebrate those imperfections that make us special. I hope that it teaches you  that nobody has a claim on the word \"normal.\" We are all different. We are all quirky, and unique, and that is what makes us wonderfully human. Thank you so much.",
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