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      "body": "<html>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;A gorgeous fall day had erupted already, even though it was still early in the morning. Nel took a moment to suck in the September air before opening the car door. The sky was a dazzling blue. These were the mornings that teased out poetic observances in her mind. “The stark beauty of the placid scene, incomparable to more earthly objects…” &nbsp;&nbsp;Even the suburb beneath this sky had its own beauty today. The foliage of brown and maroon houses skimmed by as the car drove down the street, and the trees were soon replaced by the gray stones of the freeway. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>Nel’s GPS said the route would take over an hour. She sighed and rechecked her hair in the rearview mirror. A wisp of hair had already fallen onto her dark eyes, over the sticky clumps of mascara and unsure streaks of eyeshadow. She hardly ever dressed up, and could only assume that her outfit appropriate short of disrespect. &nbsp;&nbsp;She turned on the radio, to the same song that had been playing in her kitchen before she left. It was catchy, but after the fifteenth time the cheesy chorus had overstayed the welcome in her brain. Thankfully, the song faded out and a battery of ads began. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>The voice of a teenager boy comes on, nasally and gruff. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<em>“‘Dear mom and dad. My NDT says I’m gonna die in three months. I don’t wanna be taken out on someone else’s terms, so I’m gonna take myself out.’ “</em> &nbsp;&nbsp;His voice is replaced by an older, paternal voice. &nbsp;&nbsp;<em>&nbsp;This is John. He tried to commit suicide by jumping in front of a car.</em> &nbsp;&nbsp;The screech of a car, then a crash. &nbsp;<em>He lived but had near fatal injuries for months, missing the last chance he had to enjoy playing baseball and being with his family. If you are aware of your Natural Death Test results, DO NOT attempt suicide before the dated time. Research has shown that this will result only in traumatic, non-fatal injury.</em> &nbsp;<em>Don’t outplay fate. Just wait. A message from the Center for Disease Control.</em> &nbsp;<br>\nNel jammed the seek button on the radio. The forced melodrama of the PSAs couldn’t further dampen the dread associated with the NDT. Anyways, everyone already knew better than to try and kill themselves. Nels seemed to recall it had only been 3 years since the “miracle” blood test hit the market . In the beginning, there were the horror stories, the preachers who dismiss the test as sorcery, and the endless string of suicides. But then, somehow it became normal, and everyone quietly planned the end of their lives. The tourism industry, she had heard, was booming: once people realized they could retire early, they would take their life savings and blow it on a Paris vacation. Tax forms were skipped, and the sale of motorcycles skyrocketed. &nbsp;<br>\n&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Kate’s house was in another suburb downstate. The houses of this neighborhood were larger and whiter, pristine compared to the dilapidation of Nel’s condo. &nbsp;Nel pulled up to the curb. On the mailbox, there was a single blue balloon tethered to the metal. There were already several cars parked around the house. Nel checked the clock on the dashboard. <em>Shit, I’m late. Again.</em> She walked into the foyer. Immediately, a group of tall, well-groomed women descended on her with skin-stretching smiles.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>The tallest of the tall was Melanie Dormer. They had gone to high school together. Melanie was now the literal poster woman for a local insurance company, and could be seen smugly crossing her arms on the billboard by Route 12B. &nbsp;&nbsp;Melanie wrapped her dark navy fingernails around Nel’s shoulders and pulled her in for a quick peck on the cheek. The rest of her ensemble matched the nail polish, a smart jacket over a modest pencil skirt. The rest of the women wore lighter color schemes, in neutral shades of khaki. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>\n<p>“I think I’m underdressed for this.” Nel used the lubricating deprecation to squirm out of Melanie’s touch. &nbsp;&nbsp;“Oh stop it. You look lovely.” Melanie’s eyes flitted down and up her body. She was very good at lying. “Here, we have some coffee in the kitchen. Kate is still upstairs, but if you have something for her just add it to the pile on the table over there. Everyone’s just chatting on the patio. ” Nel smiled slightly as Melanie gently pushed her out of the doorway and greeted the next guest. She walked over to the table, which was already covered in elaborate cards and large bouquets of flowers. Nel’s own card was homemade, with delicate roses sketched on the front in pencil. It looked childish. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Out on the patio, there was another table with appetizers, and a projector running a slide show of Kate water skiing, riding elephants, and standing in front of the Taj Mahal. Nel couldn’t exactly remember the C.O.D, but from the blue flowers and ribbons surrounding the projector she assumed it was ovarian cancer. Kate had taken the NDT and must not have undergone chemotherapy. Nel knew it wasn't logical t0 think that ovarian cancer had risen as a Cause Of Death, just because now her friends could know they have it, but Nel couldn’t shake the feeling .&nbsp;</p>\n<p>The patio door skidded open, causing everyone to turn towards the house. An unnatural hush swept over the heads of the well-dressed women and scattered men. A tall, thin woman came out, escorted by two other women. She wore a long white dress, the hem spattered with blue and yellow daisies. Her hair was intricately braided and woven up into a bun. Her face was stunningly made up, as if she were about to walk down the aisle. The only kink in the analogy was the cold, empty look in her eyes. She looked lost. &nbsp;&nbsp;Her two friends gently led her to a wicker chair and sat her down. The partygoers went over to touch and comfort her, but she continued to stare into space.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>A woman near Nel leaned over and whispered, “Good god, they really overdid it on the tranquilizer for her, poor thing.” &nbsp;&nbsp;Nel nodded. Morphine cocktails, usually known as “fog,” were given to Knowers on their D-Day. The test could never predict the exact time of death, and the anxiety could be debilitating to the victim. But really, it was more to preserve the comfort of the family members, who did not like having to hear any pain and suffering. &nbsp;Nel got into line to say goodbye to Kate. The parallels to a wedding reception were unsettling to her. What once reminded her so much of living was now synonymous with death. She didn’t know Kate too well, but was more of a friend of a friend. She was glad to be invited, but had no genuine words to say. When it was her turn, she brushed her fingers onto Kate’s hand and mumbled some comforting phrases. The flesh was cold and white, and Nel retracted quickly to distance herself from the morbid temperature. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Once all of the well-wishers were finished, one of Kate’s escorts stood in front of the group. She was holding a piece of printing paper, which was shaking slightly in her hands. “Kate wants all of you to know that she has had a wonderful life. She has seen the world, and spent time with those she loves. Though she is being carried from the earth faster than she may have wanted, every minute that she had is a blessing and a gift. Thank you all so much for being here to send her onto her next great journey. ” &nbsp;</p>\n<p>The group politely clapped, as the woman neatly folded the paper and helped Kate stand up. A breeze swept across the patio, but her eyes did not even blink against the wind. The two escorts walked Kate back inside and shut the door. &nbsp;With the woman of honor gone, the party quickly began to disperse. Once a few women began to gather their coats and bags, Nel finally felt it was appropriate to leave the stale space. She was walking towards the front door when someone took her arm and led her to the side. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>\n<p>\"Honey, I know you have had some doubts about the test, but I think you should reconsider it. Even if you are afraid right now, it really gives peace of mind,” Melanie whispered. She gave Nel a sympathetic look and squeezed her arm again. “I know a great consulting service that could really help you plan your options after you get the results.” &nbsp;Nel nodded, with a tight smile that air locked any irate response. She then turned away and quickly went for the door. &nbsp;\"I hope you have a safe ride home!” &nbsp;She could feel eyes turning towards her. No one got that comment anymore. Melanie let the words settle in the honey of her singing voice. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>Nel felt nauseous with that feeling again. A feeling that clung to the skin for hours like wet tissue. She was lying earlier. Nothing was normal anymore, not since that fucking test. Death, the ultimate event of life, so predictable and enigmatic, terrifying and assured, had been reduced to the ceremony of a garden party. Nel was the last of her friends to decline the test at her yearly physical. It was getting harder to not be a Knower; even at the doctor’s office it was easier to take insurance when they knew how much treatment you would actually need in the long run. There was even talk of new legislation requiring the NDT before buying insurance, or even at birth. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Nel had considered it at the beginning, but never could make herself go in for the test. Inside, she relished this bit of freedom, in being the outlier. She had seen how people live when they know the deadline of life; some reckless, some braver than they once believed. Yet, at some point, all of the Knowers reach a point where one day or another is seen as dispensable. If you are due to go thirty years from now, you know that this boring Tuesday is not the last of your Tuesdays. Life is relevant relative to the amount of it left. Nel would rather take each day as alone and finite; to her, not knowing when life ends is the blessing of life itself. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>\n<p>The sun had already set when she pulled back into the driveway. The red light spilled across the trees, refracted by the molted corpses of hanging leaves. &nbsp;</p>\n</html>",
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