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}Withdraw Routes
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}From Date
To Date
2019/09/19 20:20:27
2019/09/19 20:20:27
| parent author | swarthymongol |
| parent permlink | solace-in-string-theory |
| author | steemitboard |
| permlink | steemitboard-notify-swarthymongol-20190919t202027000z |
| title | |
| body | Congratulations @swarthymongol! You received a personal award! <table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@swarthymongol/birthday3.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 3 years!</td></tr></table> <sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@swarthymongol) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=swarthymongol)_</sub> ###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes! |
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"body": "Congratulations @swarthymongol! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@swarthymongol/birthday3.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 3 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@swarthymongol) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=swarthymongol)_</sub>\n\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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}2018/09/19 19:47:51
2018/09/19 19:47:51
| parent author | swarthymongol |
| parent permlink | solace-in-string-theory |
| author | steemitboard |
| permlink | steemitboard-notify-swarthymongol-20180919t194751000z |
| title | |
| body | Congratulations @swarthymongol! You have received a personal award! [](http://steemitboard.com/@swarthymongol) 2 Years on Steemit <sub>_Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor._</sub> > Support [SteemitBoard's project](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)! **[Vote for its witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1)** and **get one more award**! |
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}gaktilarfaecageupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / solace-in-string-theory
gaktilarfaecageupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / solace-in-string-theory
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vimiaupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / solace-in-string-theory
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}murhupvoted (22.22%) @swarthymongol / solace-in-string-theory
murhupvoted (22.22%) @swarthymongol / solace-in-string-theory
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}mxu111upvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / solace-in-string-theory
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}lajuliusupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / solace-in-string-theory
lajuliusupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / solace-in-string-theory
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}swarthymongolupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / solace-in-string-theory
swarthymongolupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / solace-in-string-theory
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}swarthymongolpublished a new post: solace-in-string-theory
swarthymongolpublished a new post: solace-in-string-theory
| parent author | |
| parent permlink | life |
| author | swarthymongol |
| permlink | solace-in-string-theory |
| title | Solace in String Theory |
| body | This all depends on a very large presumption. But I'm nothing if not presumptuous. So I dispense with conditions. Somewhere out there I'm happy. I have a seventeen year old getting ready to start college. She looks like me but pretty sans the testosterone. Flowing black hair and my eyes and nose and pigeon toes. Someplace else my kid's six or thereabouts if memory serves. A boy and he looks like his mother. Catlike eyes and cheekbones, fair-skinned and gangly. Distinctly Asian unlike his Father, a beautiful boy. In these far-flung someplaces I tried and chose them and not me. An unheard of litany for one so selfish. Consent sometimes relent the paltry extent of my effort given...but never if it inconveniences. In either someplace I married their Mothers, my lovely children. Entirely different worlds these, for one can nary exist aside the other. But one also couldn't and find me completely content. Unhappiness and happy unlikely bedfellows in these perfect worlds of mine because I never loved them. The women and not the children who I adore as much as one can. Who are not for so simple a matter as, as...as I sit here I can't find a word worthy of my transgression. Pregnancies looked upon as elaborate ruse with which to entrap me. What miracles viewed as albatross by that bastard I no longer wish to be. What have I done? I often think to myself while at play with my sisters' children. Their faces familiar faces of those one's I'd never known. Joy to me in their every laugh and tirade. I look to them and wonder if I could possibly love someone more than I do them. I look and I wonder if it isn't time to find out. As I wrap this up the twin toddlers, Elyse and Emma, storm in to sit on my lap and "type" and then I think I couldn't possibly, but I find happiness in the vision of me settling for just as much. http://blogs-images.forbes.com/startswithabang/files/2016/01/parallel.jpg |
| json metadata | {"tags":["life","writing","story","children","abortion"],"image":["http://blogs-images.forbes.com/startswithabang/files/2016/01/parallel.jpg"]} |
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"body": "This all depends on a very large presumption. But I'm nothing if not presumptuous. So I dispense with conditions. Somewhere out there I'm happy. I have a seventeen year old getting ready to start college. She looks like me but pretty sans the testosterone. Flowing black hair and my eyes and nose and pigeon toes. Someplace else my kid's six or thereabouts if memory serves. A boy and he looks like his mother. Catlike eyes and cheekbones, fair-skinned and gangly. Distinctly Asian unlike his Father, a beautiful boy. \n\nIn these far-flung someplaces I tried and chose them and not me. An unheard of litany for one so selfish. Consent sometimes relent the paltry extent of my effort given...but never if it inconveniences. \n\nIn either someplace I married their Mothers, my lovely children. Entirely different worlds these, for one can nary exist aside the other. But one also couldn't and find me completely content. Unhappiness and happy unlikely bedfellows in these perfect worlds of mine because I never loved them. The women and not the children who I adore as much as one can. Who are not for so simple a matter as, as...as I sit here I can't find a word worthy of my transgression. Pregnancies looked upon as elaborate ruse with which to entrap me. What miracles viewed as albatross by that bastard I no longer wish to be. \n\nWhat have I done? I often think to myself while at play with my sisters' children. Their faces familiar faces of those one's I'd never known. Joy to me in their every laugh and tirade. I look to them and wonder if I could possibly love someone more than I do them. I look and I wonder if it isn't time to find out. \n\nAs I wrap this up the twin toddlers, Elyse and Emma, storm in to sit on my lap and \"type\" and then I think I couldn't possibly, but I find happiness in the vision of me settling for just as much.\n\nhttp://blogs-images.forbes.com/startswithabang/files/2016/01/parallel.jpg",
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}swarthymongolpublished a new post: why-i-m-a-pussy
swarthymongolpublished a new post: why-i-m-a-pussy
| parent author | |
| parent permlink | grandfather |
| author | swarthymongol |
| permlink | why-i-m-a-pussy |
| title | Why I'm a Pussy |
| body | He isn’t entirely well now. Hasn’t been for years. My infrequent visits to him always seem the last. Goodbyes that, as it turns out, never are. Fast forward one, maybe two years and there he is. In his living room. Cane in hand with the halting though witty repartee. Still savage. Even given the unwelcome frailty. He spits on it as it takes residence and liberties within the man he once was. Envy and disappointment in his eyes when he takes me in. But always love. “What I wouldn’t give to be you, kid,” he tells with a regretful tsk. His slur and mumble comprehensible to me so accustomed. His lovely wife sits at the dinner table with the women folk while he “interviews me” as he likes to say. Frequent glances our way in her absent chit-chat. His eyes are puffy as he again looks me up and down. Irony within their cloudy reflection. Everything he’s never been as I sit before him. In him, all that I never will. Isn’t a mystery what made him. Made most our men that greatest of generations. Their courage still evident through their bodies’ falter. Audacity replaced in me by ill-fitting timidity. The ease of life evident in my appearance. A heart as soft as my body is hard, imposing. My flourish as I grew unquestioned where his forever harried. Unyielding strength from lifetime of trials I’ll never know. Both godsend and pity, this easy life of mine. Though I can't help but wonder. What savage I could have been in this withered man before me? What forging hardships I’ll never know because of his strength those days gone by. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/16/29/74/16297471aa006b5f8992135d0b95a4b3.jpg |
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}swarthymongolpublished a new post: why-i-m-a-pussy
swarthymongolpublished a new post: why-i-m-a-pussy
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| permlink | why-i-m-a-pussy |
| title | Why I'm a Pussy |
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}gumerupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / why-i-m-a-pussy
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}stepkaupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / why-i-m-a-pussy
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}swarthymongolupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / why-i-m-a-pussy
swarthymongolupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / why-i-m-a-pussy
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}swarthymongolpublished a new post: why-i-m-a-pussy
swarthymongolpublished a new post: why-i-m-a-pussy
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| parent permlink | grandfather |
| author | swarthymongol |
| permlink | why-i-m-a-pussy |
| title | Why I'm a Pussy |
| body | He isn’t entirely well now. Hasn’t been for years. My infrequent visits to him always seem the last. Goodbyes that, as it turns out, never are. Fast forward one, maybe two years and there he is. In his living room. Cane in hand with the halting though witty repartee. Still savage. Even given the unwelcome frailty. He spits on it as it takes residence and liberties within the man he once was. Envy and disappointment in his eyes when he takes me in. But always love. “What I wouldn’t give to be you, kid,” he tells with a regretful tsk. His slur and mumble comprehensible to me so accustomed. His lovely wife sits at the dinner table with the women folk while he “interviews me” as he likes to say. Frequent glances our way in her absent chit-chat. His eyes are puffy as he again looks me up and down. Irony within their cloudy reflection. Everything he’s never been as I sit before him. In him, all that I never will. Isn’t a mystery what made him. Made most our men that greatest of generations. Their courage still evident through their bodies’ falter. Audacity replaced in me by ill-fitting timidity. The ease of life evident in my appearance. A heart as soft as my body is hard, imposing. My flourish as I grew unquestioned where his forever harried. Unyielding strength from lifetime of trials I’ll never know. Both godsend and pity, this easy life of mine. Though I can't help but wonder. What savage I could have been in this withered man before me? What forging hardships I’ll never know because of his strength those days gone by. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/16/29/74/16297471aa006b5f8992135d0b95a4b3.jpg |
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}bitscapeupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / why-i-m-an-asshole
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}dennisd96upvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / why-i-m-an-asshole
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}trisnawatiupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / why-i-m-an-asshole
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}auroraxupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / why-i-m-an-asshole
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}swarthymongolupdated options for why-i-m-an-asshole
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}swarthymongolupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / why-i-m-an-asshole
swarthymongolupvoted (100.00%) @swarthymongol / why-i-m-an-asshole
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}swarthymongolpublished a new post: why-i-m-an-asshole
swarthymongolpublished a new post: why-i-m-an-asshole
| parent author | |
| parent permlink | men |
| author | swarthymongol |
| permlink | why-i-m-an-asshole |
| title | Why I'm An Asshole |
| body | There's a futility to niceness. A realization I'd come to at an early age. I always watched my parents intently as a child. Their's a dynamic that would leave a lasting impression. Though my Father's indifference toward my doting Mother didn't so much shape the man I am today. More so, it shaped the man I allow the world to see. It's still vivid, the scene of them I often recall. An entire childhood's worth of observation boiled down to one in particular. Funny, the things our child selves file away to be perused later by wiser eyes. As always, my Father blared the Sinatra when he came home from work. Stein in hand, he'd drink glumly his Bud while reading the Examiner at the kitchen table. The disappointment in what he'd become written in the defeated hunch of a man whose life was a cruel joke. Genghis...the mail clerk. His Wife's joyous contentment as she milled about him and their children was an affront to the man he fancied he'd become, once upon a time. The words of Tyler Durden were never more poignant. Alas, some men aren't meant for the two and a half children and white picket fence. And hell to pay if this their fate. http://collectivelyconscious.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/tyler-durden-advertising-has-us-chasing-cars-and-clothes-working-jobs-we-hate-so-we-can-buy-shit-we-dont-need.jpg But it was never this for my sisters and I. Never hell. Despite his ornery disposition, he was a good Father. It was more a walking on eggshells. Don't poke the bear written in whisper and tiptoe. Was my Mother who'd taken the brunt. A cruel fate to adore one who does not you. He tolerated her. Love replaced too easily in the storybook that should have been her life. The philandering Husband instead for her troubles. "Boys ask, men take," my Father once said to me, though now I can't recall the context. So it was that I watched them and wondered. The question becoming certainty through the years. My Mother the saint, my Father the scoundrel. The dynamic a mystery only insomuch as its ubiquity. I'd long ago stopped asking what it is draws good women to bad men. Content instead to accept this that simply is. As I write this there are very few certainties in my life. One is that I've my Mother in me. A kindness that, unchecked, would not bode well. Another is that I admire my Father. Not so much for what he is. Besides, he's gone soft in his middle-age. Grandchildren and such. Two of whom are my little girls. God and his sense of humor. No, it's an admiration borne of selfishness. Nice guys finish last is no mere saying. Is a truth that's evidenced in all I've seen since childhood. A truth that didn't so much kill a gentle heart, but make it that much harder to get to. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9zOScT2cd0 |
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"permlink": "why-i-m-an-asshole",
"title": "Why I'm An Asshole",
"body": "There's a futility to niceness. A realization I'd come to at an early age. I always watched my parents intently as a child. Their's a dynamic that would leave a lasting impression. Though my Father's indifference toward my doting Mother didn't so much shape the man I am today. More so, it shaped the man I allow the world to see. \n\nIt's still vivid, the scene of them I often recall. An entire childhood's worth of observation boiled down to one in particular. Funny, the things our child selves file away to be perused later by wiser eyes. \n\nAs always, my Father blared the Sinatra when he came home from work. Stein in hand, he'd drink glumly his Bud while reading the Examiner at the kitchen table. The disappointment in what he'd become written in the defeated hunch of a man whose life was a cruel joke. Genghis...the mail clerk. His Wife's joyous contentment as she milled about him and their children was an affront to the man he fancied he'd become, once upon a time. The words of Tyler Durden were never more poignant. Alas, some men aren't meant for the two and a half children and white picket fence. And hell to pay if this their fate. \n\nhttp://collectivelyconscious.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/tyler-durden-advertising-has-us-chasing-cars-and-clothes-working-jobs-we-hate-so-we-can-buy-shit-we-dont-need.jpg\n\nBut it was never this for my sisters and I. Never hell. Despite his ornery disposition, he was a good Father. It was more a walking on eggshells. Don't poke the bear written in whisper and tiptoe. Was my Mother who'd taken the brunt. A cruel fate to adore one who does not you. He tolerated her. Love replaced too easily in the storybook that should have been her life. The philandering Husband instead for her troubles. \"Boys ask, men take,\" my Father once said to me, though now I can't recall the context. \n\nSo it was that I watched them and wondered. The question becoming certainty through the years. My Mother the saint, my Father the scoundrel. The dynamic a mystery only insomuch as its ubiquity. I'd long ago stopped asking what it is draws good women to bad men. Content instead to accept this that simply is. \n\nAs I write this there are very few certainties in my life. One is that I've my Mother in me. A kindness that, unchecked, would not bode well. Another is that I admire my Father. Not so much for what he is. Besides, he's gone soft in his middle-age. Grandchildren and such. Two of whom are my little girls. God and his sense of humor. No, it's an admiration borne of selfishness. Nice guys finish last is no mere saying. Is a truth that's evidenced in all I've seen since childhood. A truth that didn't so much kill a gentle heart, but make it that much harder to get to. \n\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9zOScT2cd0",
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