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      "body": "https://sistersofresistance.files.wordpress.com/2016/10/rapeculture.png?w=612\n\nI have today something sad to tell but also liberating. I have so many contradictions in my life and very tough things to process right now that I feel very alive, like I didn't feel for some long months. I guess, that's why I stopped writing. Everything felt just so bland, stagnated, boring. Not even one positive characteristic I coud mention. Pure mediocricity.\n\nAll this what I said before made me realize I need very shocking events happening to move me into action. Could it be some sort of numbness caused by trauma or just lazyness to keep up with myself?\n\nMy last sexual harrassment/ assault experience was in a bar and one of the super wonderful macho latinos I know -one of my proteges btw. Let's name him R- thought it was a good idea to bring my agressor in front of me right after the incident to 'talk things through' and fix the problems with each other and maybe one day be friends? (!)\n\nDo you see what I see? Do you see how fucked up each of those words sound together? Not, really?\n\nI am constantly second guessing myself. Everything around me tells me I overreact and that I take things too seriously. I am collecting points to be the next most dangerous, hideous, bossy bitch from the latinamerican community in Dresden. And somebody wonders now how can anyone love something so sick, pervese and disgusting like me, not even my children would. Those were the words from R last night when unfortunately we met randomly on the street when going back home with my friends.\n\nAll this past year, I didn't want R near me. Not even talking to me. Even less in the same room with me if I could avoid it. Everyone told me he is not so bad and that they recognize he is annoying but wouldn't harm, not even a fly. They said he is just a very helpless soul, he just needed more understanding from us all, also from me. He was playing the drums on my Birthday party because my friends invited a salsa band to play at my party with whom R sometimes plays his drums and noone knew he was meant to play at my party. In my f****** birthday party. I am a strict atheist and esceptic. I don't celebrate anything in this world. ONLY BIRTHDAYS because I have children and I love to have a reason to celebrate we are in this life together. His presence was there to remind me how little power I have to avoid certain situations in a very small city like Dresden with the amount of people I know through all the projects I lead here.\n\nI promise I am really trying to pinpoint what the problem is. The problem is bigger than me, my circle of trusted people, the latinamerican community, the German society, Europe or the Americas. It's a fucking androcentric chip we all have inserted in our brains. When you question it, you are left alone.\n\nThe scene yesterday was embarrasing. I lost my voice from yealling at R. I screamed with all the power of my vocal strings, muscles, and mind. Everyone in the Alaunstrasse stopped horrified listening to two very different looking spanish speakers shout out loud unintelligible things in a very dramatic way.\n\nI needed to say it, shout, cry. To put all that contempted frustration, anger and helplessness into words and throw it somewhere where it doesn't burn me anymore.\n\nJust recreating the crime scene a bit. Last year around this time of the year I was just released from the hospital (had a stroke thanks to Lupus) and decided to have a night out to celebrate with some of my friends. The ones that party normallly with me, we have that irresposible compatibility of partying our ass off also in our mid- thirties. We try to lose ourselves in one night from days and days of feeling like shit or inadequate as migrants in a very racist and xenophobic city.\n\n*To be continued*",
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      "body": "https://sistersofresistance.files.wordpress.com/2016/10/rapeculture.png?w=612\n\nI have today something sad to tell but also liberating. I have so many contradictions in my life and very tough things to process right now that I feel very alive, like I didn't feel for some long months. I guess, that's why I stopped writing. Everything felt just so bland, stagnated, boring. Not even one positive characteristic I coud mention. Pure mediocricity.\n\nAll this what I said before made me realize I need very shocking events happening to move me into action. Could it be some sort of numbness caused by trauma or just lazyness to keep up with myself?\n\nMy last sexual harrassment/ assault experience was in a bar and one of the super wonderful macho latinos I know -one of my proteges btw. Let's name him R- thought it was a good idea to bring my agressor in front of me right after the incident to 'talk things through' and fix the problems with each other and maybe one day be friends? (!)\n\nDo you see what I see? Do you see how fucked up each of those words sound together? Not, really?\n\nI am constantly second guessing myself. Everything around me tells me I overreact and that I take things too seriously. I am collecting points to be the next most dangerous, hideous bossy bitch from the latinamerican community in Dresden. And somebody wonders now how can anyone love something so sick, pervese and disgusting like me, even my children. Those were the words from R last night when unfortunately we met randomly on the street when going back home with my friends.\n\nAll this past year, I didn't want R near me. Not even talking to me. Even less in the same room with me if I could avoid it. Everyone told me he is not so bad and that they recognize he is annoying but wouldn't harm, not even a fly. They said he is just a very poor guy and he needs more understanding from us all, also from me. He was playing the drums on my Birthday party because my friends invited a salsa band to play at my party with whom R sometimes plays his drums and noone knew he was meant to play at my party. In my f****** birthday party. I am a strict atheist and esceptic. I don't celebrate anything in this world. ONLY BIRTHDAYS because I have children and I love to have a reason to celebrate we are in this life together. His presence was there to remind me how little power I have to avoid certain situations in a very small city like Dresden with the amount of people I know through all the projects I lead here.\n\nI promise I am really trying to pinpoint what the problem is. The problem is bigger than me, my circle of trusted people, the latinamerican community, the German society, Europe or the Americas. It's a fucking androcentric chip we all have inserted in our brains. When you question it, you are left alone.\n\nThe scene yesterday was embarrasing. I lost my voice from yealling at R. I screamed with all the power of my vocal strings, muscles, and mind. Everyone in the Alaunstrasse stopped horrified listening to two very different looking spanish speakers shout out loud unintelligible things in a very dramatic way.\n\nI needed to say it. To put it into words and throw it somewhere where it doesn't burn me anymore.\n\nJust recreating the crime scene a bit. Last year around this time of the year I was just released from the hospital (had a stroke thanks to Lupus) and decided to have a night out to celebrate with some of my friends. The ones that party normallly with me, we have that irresposible compatibility of partyig our ass off also in our mid- thirties. We try to lose ourselves in one night from days and days of feeling like shit or inadequate.\n\n*To be continued*",
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      "body": "@@ -3263,16 +3263,27 @@\n  and my \n+daughter's \n body cou\n",
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      "body": "I think I did! Thak you",
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      "body": "I would love to do that. I am pretty clumsy... How do I do that?",
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      "body": "Would you be interested in submitting this as a prose form for @teamgirlpowa poetry contest? You just need to add our tag and upvote the announcement post. Or you can write another one but i feel these words quite fit...? Maybe its just me.",
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      "body": "Take a look at this:\n\nI am pieces of melting avocadoes, paired guacamayas flying on the horizon and a smell of carbon dioxide.\n\nI come from a place where femininities are subjugated by a very macho culture smeared on beauty queen cosmetic paste and plastic surgerie's taste. But most of us don't obbey and instead move our hips like the waves. Playa, sol y arena praying to an invisible friend and hoping no one gets to know you move that way. Being la zorrita is the worst. Si cocinas como caminas, le pego la lengua al sartén said a jerk. I rolled my eyes with indifference and answered, get out of my way or busca un bosque y piérdete.\n\nMany of us have the real conviction we were born in the best place on earth but not meaning it bad. It's still discriminating. The only ones who can enjoy that, who are? Nü, the lucky normative ones.\n\nMy people are living now what an inmigrant is like to be, a second class citizen, we didn't have that clear. God forbid you have to flee and become Asylanten, they are all criminals, they cry. They are very convinced, those Sauerkrauts.\n\nMy people are judging each other and say 'it was your fault because you don't think like me' with primary colors and starry caps, cleaning toilets with pictures of their PhD celebration. Oh mann, they don't know now where to start. They clean also up very old people's butts who think saying, don't touch me schmutziger Neger it's all right. We have to stop this political correctness, they said. Nowadays, nobody can say a thing, stop being overly sensitive you María Juana!, chill, relax, chillax... I said please, it's just an opinion, why make such an obnoxious rant? That's reverse racism!, don't allow yourself that.\n\nI repeat to my self every morning you are worth it. Fake it till you make it and get that Unbefristetenarbeitsvertrag. It's all in your hands, you just have to move your ass... But then on the tram somebody yells ausländer raus and I fade away, I cry, I don't know where to hide. I can just curl up on my bed and stand the side effects of my pills. Because here I have free health care, what else could I ever wish for? I have lupus but I Iook fine so I don't get the Behinderungsausweis.\n\nAguacates were changed for müsli, crows in the back and the smell turned to be burning bratwurst on a very crowded fair where the stands look every year the same and the only thing you can do is buy expensive Glühwein and bland bread. Bitte ohne Zwiebel und ohne Knoblauch, I don't want to get dragon breath. And you start to obbey... the waving hips stop waving and you speak up in a very broken Deutsch. It's unfair and pops out angrily off your big, sensitive loath.\n\nHere you have freedom of mind, not of action and the presumption of innocence consists on being guilty till your inocence's proven. Our husbands get tired of us as we are not the Spaßmacher anymore. Law favors them. And then we end chained up in the name of our children to a city that calls every Monday Ab-schie-ben to the crowd.\n\nAnd then you think again, where could I go? I lost it all! If back there there's no peace, my trans friends are being killed and my body could become the playground of a very nasty pedofile priest? You drawn your sorrows in cheap Bier and the sweat im Keller where all Südländer are feeling just like that, move to the moves, go with the flow y perrea.\n\nWhere was I suppoused to go?",
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      "body": "![My avatar.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmTtjMhqQJuaR7ooGCfQft14FeqJrTpVM8piBWyCvxXFyP/My%20avatar.jpg)\n\nI decided to call this space sued-land (Südland), since that means in German the southern land. It is the kind of term that has no exact meaning or precise explanation which is very strange for German culture and language. It is something I hear almost everyday of my life, that I have Südländisches Temperament (southern temperament) even when I am just quietly waiting for my name to be called in a doctor's waiting room.\n\nSometimes, it comes up in the most unexpected of situations and other times, it is very obvious. I am expected to behave in a specific way but I still haven't figured it out after almost 6 years living here.\n\nThe first time I realized people really cared about this term and I had to be aware of it, I was in an ER. I had an accident with my bike and fell obstreperously down. When I stood up, everyone around had stopped whatever they were doing, looking if I survived that hit. One lovely shop owner offered themself to be a witness of what happened. It was a manufacturing defect of the bike and then months later I needed their help to complete a file and sue that company. Sue! That fits perfectly with the beginning of this blog's name!\n\nWhen I came to that ER, the first question the doctor asked when he saw my name was, where are you from?\n\nDid that ever happen to you, that you avoid that one very question to not make asumptions about the person you are just meeting? Well, I do. After answering where I come from, he inmediately responded, wow! how exotic is that?\n\nI knew that thumb was broken, I have broken almost all my toes in the past (temperament maybe?). Let's just say I have always been very adventurous and used to be a very active child. The thing is, that the doctor wanted to make sure there was nothing broken by twisting my thumb. I had to really yell to make him stop. The nurse standing right next to him started laughing and said, this is so typical, Südländisches Temperament!\n\nEven though I have been quite outspoken my whole life to defend the causes of other people, I am more pasive when it comes to defend myself, also at that moment (2014) I only had completed the B1 language course and did not have the fluency with which I feel comfortable talking to others. I just repeated what the nurse said in an attempt to coax an apology out of her. The doctor immediately told me this is a phenomena that happens a lot with southerners, they have already plenty of 'evidence' (WTF?): People from the south are whiny and very sensitive. My jaw dropped and I couldn't continue speaking. He sent me to do some X-rays. That gave me some time to process what was happening. When the X-ray came, he said everything was just as he thought and sent me home without a pain prescription because 'it's not so bad'.\n\nMy finger was red, like on fire red. After two hours it grew three times its original size. My hand got purple and with a horribly pulsating pain that didn't let me sleep. In the morning I was getting ready to go to my GP and ask for pain killers but received a call from the chief doctor of the ER. He asked me what could I possibly be doing at home without a cast? that I should go immediately to the ER. I practiced on my way to the hospital how to complain about what happened the day before. When another young doctor approached me to place the cast after the Chief's aproval, I told her what had happened. She just said doctors have different opinions... Is providing bad healthcare to a person because you are way too convinced on your own biases really an opinion? Wow, wow, wow!\n\nFortunately I am a social worker, a mom, have survived a bunch of extreme situations and have been always a 'soft rebel' in the sense that I have always done what I wanted despite society's disaproval, I have learnt to stand up for myself now too.\n\nI want to make this blog accesible for anyone who finds my experiences useful, to talk about intersectionality and alternative ways of living, loving, making community. From a person who is fighting to keep herself on her feet but has a lot of stories to tell and to receive all the love possible. I would be immensely happy to find people in Germany with whom I can exchange ideas too.\n\nYours truly,\nS.",
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      "body": "@@ -100,16 +100,18 @@\n tar.jpg)\n+%0A%0A\n I decide\n@@ -536,16 +536,17 @@\n ometimes\n+,\n  it come\n@@ -547,16 +547,19 @@\n t comes \n+up \n in the m\n@@ -576,30 +576,42 @@\n cted\n-ly way\n+ of situation\n s and \n-for \n other\n-s\n+ times, it\n  is \n@@ -626,22 +626,30 @@\n ious. I \n-should\n+am expected to\n  behave \n@@ -830,14 +830,16 @@\n  it,\n+ I\n  was \n-o\n+i\n n an\n@@ -1097,17 +1097,17 @@\n manufact\n-o\n+u\n ring def\n@@ -1283,18 +1283,16 @@\n  I came \n-in\n to that \n@@ -1696,10 +1696,8 @@\n ment\n-o,\n  may\n@@ -1708,16 +1708,21 @@\n . Let's \n+just \n say I ha\n@@ -1724,28 +1724,28 @@\n  I have \n-been \n always \n+been \n very adv\n@@ -2220,14 +2220,15 @@\n had \n-approv\n+complet\n ed t\n@@ -2257,16 +2257,21 @@\n and \n-ha\n+di\n d not \n+have \n the \n@@ -2278,18 +2278,20 @@\n fluency \n-in\n+with\n  which I\n@@ -2384,54 +2384,34 @@\n  to \n-find any regretful apology after what she said\n+coax an apology out of her\n . Th\n@@ -2420,17 +2420,17 @@\n doctor i\n-n\n+m\n mediatel\n@@ -2489,16 +2489,17 @@\n h southe\n+r\n ners, th\n@@ -2541,17 +2541,16 @@\n ' (WTF?)\n- \n : People\n@@ -2629,29 +2629,29 @@\n n't \n-speak more. He anyway\n+continue speaking. He\n  sen\n@@ -2776,12 +2776,12 @@\n was \n-fine\n+just\n  as \n@@ -3118,18 +3118,18 @@\n  but rec\n-i\n e\n+i\n ved a ca\n@@ -3249,17 +3249,17 @@\n uld go i\n-n\n+m\n mediatel\n@@ -3409,12 +3409,11 @@\n to p\n-ut m\n+lac\n e th\n@@ -3458,24 +3458,28 @@\n ld her what \n+had \n happened. Sh\n@@ -3532,18 +3532,8 @@\n  Is \n-it really \n prov\n@@ -3617,17 +3617,23 @@\n n biases\n-,\n+ really\n  an opin\n@@ -3686,16 +3686,18 @@\n  worker,\n+ a\n  mom, ha\n@@ -3956,16 +3956,17 @@\n who find\n+s\n  my expe\n@@ -4172,18 +4172,18 @@\n d to rec\n-i\n e\n+i\n ve all t\n@@ -4212,17 +4212,17 @@\n uld be i\n-n\n+m\n mensely \n",
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      "author": "neuvorstellungen",
      "body": "Hallo @sued-land, herzlich willkommen auf Steemit.<br><br>Wenn Du Fragen zu Steemit hast, oder Dich mit anderen deutschen „Steemians“ austauschen magst, schau einfach mal auf unserem Discord-Server https://discord.gg/g6ktN45 vorbei.<br><br>Unter dem folgenden Link findest Du einige Anleitungen, die Dir den Einstieg in das Steem-Universum deutlich erleichtern werden: <a href=\"https://steemit.com/deutsch/@theaustrianguy/deutschsprachige-tutorials-fuer-steemit-neulinge-ein-ueberblick\">Deutschsprachige Tutorials für Steemit-Neulinge: Ein Überblick</a>",
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      "body": "I can relate to so much of what you say here. We are dealing also with anxiety. Thank you for writing about all this.",
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