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      "body": "@@ -226,96 +226,77 @@\n ;)%0A%0A\n-Since my last post was 2 years ago, that is not to say I haven't been writing since then\n+I've been writing out of the Steem platform since my post 2 years ago\n . I'\n",
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      "memo": "❗ Hello stevenguan, great that you are using the STEEM blockchain. The Executive Board is publishing insider infos at https://discord.gg/KyBbmhh on how you will be earning the most coins. It's easy, just follow the instructions. THE 1000X BOOSTER KEY is already waiting for you over there too. 😉 Warm regards, The Executive Board."
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      "author": "stevenguan",
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      "body": "Seems like it was close to 2 years since my last post. Honestly, it didn't feel that long ago.\nNoticed there is a new feature called night mode :D it's pretty neat.. and now I can write at nighttime without straining my eyes ;)\n\nSince my last post was 2 years ago, that is not to say I haven't been writing since then. I've been going through some emotional roller coasters and I noticed writing them down kind of helps me calm down a little bit. I subscribed to a journal app called \"Journey\" and I typically write \"rich\" stuff in there. Any writing involving very specific individuals which I need to keep private will be written in Journey, else it goes to Steem.\n\nI guess what I wanna write here is that in the past few months I've been feeling distressed. I'm not sure if it is the result of constantly working from home and having physical disconnection from colleagues, but I'm feeling quite emotionally detached from them. I start to care less and less about what they do or how they are doing, and recently I noticed I am not that keen on seeing them face to face anymore. This was exacerbated by certain individuals which I wrote in Journey and I will not discuss them here for the sake of their privacy.\n\nOver the past few months, I noticed a few 'individuals' seemed to get a little irritated whenever they post some questions to me and I tried to answer them as honestly and thoroughly as I could. It happened during face-to-face conversations when I was in the office, and when I was giving an explanation, I would notice their face would scream \"stop it !!\". Honestly, I'm not sure why they would react like this, I did not say anything rude. They asked something and I answered. Should I be more of an asshole and answer it partially?\n\nAnother thing is I think there is an impostor syndrome within me. Today I would say my journey to Australia has been fairly successful and I pretty much surprised everyone back home. What I want to confess is, sometimes I feel I am unworthy of this success, and I do feel it is a fluke at times. I was just extremely lucky compared to others who have tried and failed. Tracing back to the origin of this syndrome, I think it has something to do with my upbringing. When I was a kid, my parents would always compare me to my elder brother. I was always the naughty, unruly, mischievous, and underperforming son while my brother is the total opposite of that. Whenever I failed certain tests/exams, my parents would say I am so much weaker compared to my brother right in front of me. I guess this is common among all Asian households eh? but little did they know they planted a seed of inferiority in my subconscious and I will always think I don't deserve better than my older brother, and I am everything less compared to him. Don't get me wrong, my parents are great, they provided everything that is necessary for my success such as education, etc. but they do not provide me in the emotional department. I grew up almost not knowing what is a good/bad emotion and how to handle them. This leads me to a few suicide attempts a few years back when I could not figure out my own emotions, and the implications of my actions as a result of not being able to figure out my emotions to the people around me.\n\nSo.. the lesson is, I will raise my kids differently compared to how my parents raised me. I won't discard his/her feelings and focus only on their academic success.\n\nTime is getting late.. gotta sleep.",
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      "author": "steemitboard",
      "permlink": "steemitboard-notify-stevenguan-20191229t103600000z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "Congratulations @stevenguan! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@stevenguan/birthday2.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@stevenguan) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=stevenguan)_</sub>\n\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "title": "My life from June 2018 up till now - Diary 16/07/2019",
      "body": "<html>\n<h1>Konichiwaaaa !! I'm back to Steemit after a year of hiatus :D</h1>\n<p>It has been an eventful year long journey for me from June 2018 up till now ;)</p>\n<p>Stuffs that happened to me in summary was:</p>\n<ol>\n  <li>Secured a permanent professional job in Sydney</li>\n  <li>Bought a 2nd hand car (Toyota Yaris)</li>\n  <li>Drove to Sydney from Melbourne</li>\n  <li>Passed my job probation period</li>\n  <li>Had my car plate stolen (LOL !!!)</li>\n  <li>Got married (just ROM stage for now)</li>\n  <li>Bought a uber high spec gaming PC (RTX 2080 and Acer Predator X34P yo !!)</li>\n  <li>Became an SME (subject matter expert) in my team</li>\n  <li>Hit 1 year anniversary on my job just last Tuesday 9th July 2019</li>\n</ol>\n<p>So yeah, above is an oversimpification of what i've been through :) I intend to write my blog on Steemit as my diary in a public space. I imagine I would come back and re-read my posts when my hair is all white and recall all these memories.</p>\n<h2>Soooooooooooooooooo..... without further ado.. lets start from the beginning of June 2018 where I left off</h2>\nsrc=\"https://i.imgsafe.org/da/dac2f8b447.jpeg\" width=\"3096\" height=\"4128\"/></p>\n<p><em>Above is just some random picture I found in my drive. It is the blue mountains in case you are wondering ;)</em></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>So in my previous post, I was complaining about my housemate back in Melbourne about how manipulative he is. About 2 weeks before I start my first job in Aussie (yayyyy!!!) I moved out of the house and drove to Sydney via Hume Freeway. I made a pit stop at Wagga Wagga (god I love this name) and spent a night there. I journeyed out 2 weeks earlier because I could not stand being in the house another moment with that dude (each and every single brain cells in my head screamed to get away from him ASAP). I will explain why I made the right decision later.</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>So.. the drive to Sydney was awesome !! but too bad I did not stop to take a picture of the surroundings. But I guarantee the view throughout the 7-9 hours journey is as beautiful as this :D</p>\n<p><img src=\"https://elders-re-md-cdn.imgix.net/eldrivna/photos/8829-1.jpg?w=1240&amp;h=675&amp;fit=crop&amp;trim=auto\" width=\"1240\" height=\"675\"/><em>Credit to Elders Real Estate</em></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>Made a pit stop in Wagga Wagga which is halfway (4.5 hours) between Melbourne and Sydney and stayed a night in a motel. I couldn't handle 9 hours drive continuously. I recall not much sight seeing area in Wagga Wagga or maybe I was just too dead tired to explore. So I camped in the motel, blast the heater (it was winter) and played Diablo 3 on my laptop. I think it was some season journey and I started a character from scratch.</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>All the driving made me worried my car is not gonna make it, but alas it got me to my destination just fine :D</p>\n<p>When I reach Sydney, I immediately drove to my new rental place. It was a room (big, comfortable, and fully furnished) which were recommended by my friend (my wife's aunt's friend at the time). The house was huge at over 900m2 !! OMG!! I stay with my landlord's family (just her and her son). Their name is Becky and William. Very nice people :)</p>\n<p>In the 2 weeks before I start my new job, I explored around Sydney. First stop was the suburb around my new workplace (North Sydney) and then I made my way to Circular Quay where the famous and iconic Sydney Opera House is located :D Not to mention.. the harbour bridge is there as well.</p>\n<p><img src=\"https://i.imgsafe.org/db/db23f13425.jpeg\" width=\"3264\" height=\"2448\"/></p>\n<p><img src=\"https://i.imgsafe.org/db/db2bfd96bb.jpeg\" width=\"4128\" height=\"3096\"/><img src=\"https://i.imgsafe.org/db/db2bda3176.jpeg\" width=\"4128\" height=\"3096\"/></p>\n<p>The weather was rather gloomy on that day, but it was awesome :) about 1 hour after this picture was taken, the weather improved and the sun showed up. A word of advice about the sun in Sydney, best to apply sunblock when you are here. The sun ray burns the skin &gt;.&lt; I heard there is an ozone hole nearby and the occurrence of skin cancer in Australia is rather high.</p>\n<p>After I'm done with Circular Quay, I head to Manly on the next day. So Manly has a lookout area which overlooks the Tasman Sea. It is about 1 hour journey by public transport if my memory serves me right.</p>\n<p>Maybe I will post that in my next diary post :) There are lots of pictures I want to post too, and the above 3 pictures doesn't serve it right. I need to copy the pictures out from my phone. Right now it is unbearably slow to load &gt;.&lt;</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>Fast forward to 09/07/2019, I start my first new job in Sydney :D as all typical newstarter, I wore my formal office attire clothes to work hahaha. First day was nerve wrecking. Everything was new to me, new people, new environment, first time in a foreign office, and soooo many people introduced themselves to me that I could not remember most of their names &gt;.&lt; the awkward moment when I could not remember my neighbours name hahaha.</p>\n<p>I started as a Databse Analyst in a credit bureau company (Equifax, formerly Veda) where my typical job is</p>\n<ul>\n  <li>Prepare data quality report on a regular basis.</li>\n  <li>Scope for ways to improve the core data asset coverage and quality.</li>\n  <li>Address customers complaints when there is a discrepancies in their credit file, investigate, and fix the issue.</li>\n  <li>Scope for ways to improve data match rates and implement the solutions.</li>\n</ul>\n<p>Technical skills that are heavily used are T-SQL and Tableau. I was rather green in these 2 areas because they are seldom used in my previous job. I felt like I graduated from kindergarten straight to high school in these 2 fields right now. Aside from these 2 skills, I also picked up Python for text formatting along the way.</p>\n<p>I observed lots of growth in my skills over the past year, and I am truly very thankful for the managers and recruiter who chose me for this job :D</p>\n<p>About 2 - 3 weeks into my job, I contacted my previous roomate in Melbourne (I called him Voldemort in my previous post) because the house lease is almost up, and we need to settle the handover to the landlord and reclaim our 5 weeks bond money.</p>\n<p>Sooooooooo..... drama happens here. I not sure what has gotten into him and his manner of speaking totally pissed me off.</p>\n<p>Before I left, I helped clean the house, trimmed the grasses in front and backyard, fixed a high positioned cupboard by myself (almost sprained my back while doing so) just so he wouldn't need to do all that when he leaves. Me feeling guilty for leaving the house cleaning entirely to him partly contributed too.</p>\n<p>After I'm done with all those, I cannot imagine what else he needed to do besides packing and disposing the rubbish. It is fairly easily done in Australia because the town council would give 2-3 times free large rubbish removal service to every household every year. All you need to do is go online, schedule a pickup service, and dump all the stuffs (bed, bedframe, couch, cupboard etc.) infront the house a day prior to the scheduled date so the remover could pick them up and dispose of them. All the heavy stuffs I helped him move to the garage before I left. What is left is just to shift those stuffs (broken bedframe) about 5 meters from the garage into the front yard.</p>\n<p>For some reason the drama queen Voldemort went all emotional on me when I contacted him. He kept insisting we call our previous 3rd tenant (who ran away with 1-2 months rent owing us and dumped his kingsize bed in our house) and get him to move the bedframe 5 meters from the garage into the front yard. At this point, I was like WTF!?!?!</p>\n<p>First, he knows the 3rd tenant (Gerard) is all the way in Queensland. Second, we all know he will never ever come back because he owes us 1-2 months rent. And then he goes all emotional and not wanting Gerard to be irresponsible and Voldemort will not move the bedframe for him. At this point I panicked, the house lease end date is almost due and he decides to play this game. So not wanting to play into his game, I gave him 3 choice:</p>\n<ol>\n  <li>I pay him $50 dollars to move the bedframe 5 meters out into the front yard from the garage</li>\n  <li>He moves the bedframe 5 meters out into the front yard from the garage as he should be doing</li>\n  <li>He opens the garage door on Saturday morning, and I will fly back to Melbourne from Sydney, move the bedrame 5 meters out into the front yard, and I go back to Sydney.</li>\n</ol>\n<p>He could not give me a clear answer as to which choice he wants, and laments not letting Gerard off that easily. I kept insisting I do not want to play this game and please settle this as the lease end date is drawing closer. All he needed to do was drag the dismantled bedframe 5 meters out into the front yard. As I kept firm and persisting on getting it done, he kept insisting on not letting Gerard off the hook, keep calling his phone until he picks up. In my mind, what will this solve? Gerard is obviously avoiding us, and I cannot believe he wants to play this game at this time. Among the last words I said at the time was to keep emotions out of this and settle the rubbish pickup, to which he replied \"you don't care about emotions, I do, go on with your life young man..... I will do what the hokkien people say, Ki Siao. So will be ki siao and clean the house\". At this point I go totally WTF and just said \"please make up your mind about the 3 choices I gave you, and please stop playing the victim\". The conversation ended there and that was the last time I heard of him.</p>\n<p>At the time, I felt it was a miracle I could live with this dude for over 3 months.</p>\n<p>Just thinking back how negative he was, and all those emotional manipulation he did to me in the 3 months of living together still irks me to this day. I vividly remembered a few days before I moved out, he said this to my face \"I wish you never had gotten the job in Sydney\". I was like WTF!?!?</p>\n<p>Anyway, i'm stopping my rant here. I've been trying to figure out some way to forgive this guy and forget about this incident. Hopefully in the future I read this, I could go like.. what a dumbass I was hahahaha :D</p>\n<p>I'm stopping my journal of the day here :) next I will write more in detail about my exploration around Sydney, my work, personal life etc. I noticed I can't do it all in 1 single post :D</p>\n<h1>ADIOUS until next week on my next diary entry !!</h1>\n</html>",
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      "body": "Congrats on getting the factory job! Keep looking you will get the job u want! we bound to meet few friends that behave like that, unfortunately.",
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      "body": "Yeah, at least you managr to realize and not get sucked into his crap",
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      "body": "thanks Bran !! :D\nsucks that the person you living with turns out to be like this. Good thing I noticed after he sets off so many red flags.",
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      "body": "WTF, dude. That guys sounds like the loser that's trying to keep you down with him. Well they do say that misery loves company. Like why the hell does he care about what you're trying to achieve so much and if you want to get a part time job that sucks and buy a bloody car?\n\nSucks that you have to deal with him. Credit to you for hanging in there and pulling yourself out of the depression hole that that guy was trying to keep you in. Hope you get that job! Keep your head up, man! At least you're brave enough to go for it! Way more balls than so many of us! ",
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      "author": "stevenguan",
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      "title": "An example of selfish and manipulative person",
      "body": "It has been a long time since I last wrote on Steemit. Ever since I shifted my residence from Clayton to Point Cook, I hadn't any home internet access except when I go to a public library or use my cellular data at home.\n\nI am posting this using my cellular data because I think I need to write about it in order for me to heal. I don't expect anyone will read this, but I just need to get it off my chest. And let this be a lesson to me, engraved into Steemit :D\n\nI came to live with a man (whom I will not name, maybe I just refer to him as Voldemort). \n\n![1.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmYH1qeGb6mQTB1uFVkiYGH2ERFhMs69hdDmS5oFQpPn8X/1.jpg)\n[image source](https://stack.com.au/film-tv/film-tv-news/harry-potter-prequel-voldemort/)\n\nSee, I recently came to realize this Voldemort has been manipulating me, quite possibly from the very beginning of our meetup in Melbourne. How did I realize this? Well, it happened about 3-4 weeks ago. He was working part-time in a grocery store while I was frantically searching for any job so I can cover my living expenses. On Voldemort's first day of work in the grocery store, he started complaining he was underpaid (below Australia's minimum wage) and the system is very disorganized. Ok.. underpaid? didn't he accept the job offer knowingly beforehand?\n\n![2.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmYUuZdoXvvsoCY6Syisa2Uzbo91BL3bTgmpLowydPX6Xo/2.jpg)\n[image source](http://www.memegen.com/meme/gbr0hu)\n\nAt that time, I had many rejections from employers either because I do not have any experience in that sector, overqualified, or do not possess own reliable car. It was 5 months into living in Melbourne and jobless so I was pretty desperate. So Voldemort said he will try this job a few more shifts before deciding if he wants to quit. Upon hearing that, I said \"if you quit, could you recommend the job to me?\", he said sure no problem. So I continue my job search as usual.\n\nOn his fourth shift, apparently someone disrespected him by telling him he cannot sit down while he is at work. He argued that he will get back pain if he squats too long. In the end, he gets to sit. Upon completion of his shift, he came home pissed and ranted to me how sucky the job is, how he had been disrespected by someone of the same level as him in the store, and go on and on about how he wants to quit this job, he is just doing this job to kill time and not for the money bla bla bla.. So I said, ok you quit and let me try it. Then he goes on and on trying to discourage me from working there by telling all the bad stuffs going on in there.\n\n![3.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmPxjgFNRRhiRMu2jqChr26MiQTX3NyspTrr51zhPVsyjS/3.jpg)\n[image source](https://memegenerator.net/instance/59648546/we-got-a-badass-over-here-ok-bro)\n\nThe following week, I followed him to the store because he said he wants to collect his salary and tell the manager he is quitting. So as we were standing outside the manager's office, he repeatedly asks me, you sure you want to work here? it sucks. I answered YES and he still asks this same question until I got really fed up and showed my serious face (the kind of face where a president is dead serious in launching a nuclear strike). He kept quite and went into the office to collect his salary. 2 minutes passed and he stormed out. The manager then comes out and I asked her, are you hiring? may I work here? She said she doesn't want to employ anyone who lacks experience. So I said OK, thats fine.\n\nAt home during dinner, Voldemort explained that his salary was further reduced because he lacks experience. And what happens next really pissed me off, to the point that deep down in my heart, I realized I cannot trust this person, nor do I want to live with him again after our house lease ends in 3 months time.\n\n![Pissed.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmTf5u88WZcLgemcF1ieQN9k8rYTFUyzL71juxWmFH4pbE/Pissed.png)\n[image source](http://onepunchman.wikia.com/wiki/File:Pissed.png)\n\nBelow is roughly the dialogue, it is not exact but the points are there. There will be some exaggeration here and there, because it is seen through my lenses and it has already been few weeks passed since I wrote this.\n\n**Vold**: Why your face look so serious suddenly when we were in the store? I've never seen such a serious face before ~laughs hahahahaha.\n\n**Me**: I am trying very hard to get a job just so I can balance my expenses. It's already been 5 months here and I haven't able to get any job yet. Recently I decided enough playing around, I need to get my game together and go all out in getting a job.\n\n**Vold**: Aiya, relax la, job will eventually come one, you stress about it also no use. This job at the grocery store sucks, that's why I didn't recommend you. I ask you, if you know the job you working at sucks, will you recommend it to a friend?\n\n**Me**: Yes I would, if my friend is really in need of an income.\n\n**Vold**: Aiya no point working this kind of job la, this is just side job. Why you focus so much effort into side job? Focus on getting your professional job la.\n\n**Me**: Professional job search is going to take time, in the meantime, what am I doing to cover my expenses? If the professional job comes a year later, am I supposed to just sit down and  swallow this 1 year expenses?\n\n**Vold**: Don't bang yourself over it. If cannot get the job you want, you can always pack your stuffs and go back Malaysia at the end of it. I have a few friends who migrated to Australia and America, and they went back Malaysia because cannot get a job. Why we come to Australia? It is to enjoy. Why are you making yourself stressed so much? Just relax and enjoy. You wont get this chance once you start working.\n\n**Me**: I do not plan on giving up on trying to live my life here in Australia, I certainly do not plan on giving up and go back to Malaysia. If I were to give up, I want to give up knowingly I tried every single tricks in the book.\n\n**Vold**: Have you tried cold calling? have you tried walking into company and bluntly ask for vacancies? have you exhausted every single contact in your phone list asking for jobs? That day we were in Malaysians in Melbourne group gathering, why didn't you ask the people there to recommend you jobs?\n\n**Me**: It's not very nice to meet first time and immediately ask for jobs isn't it? And no, I haven't tried most of the stuffs you mentioned, as only recently I came to realize this predicament I am in. I did walk into stores, and they ask to drop them my resume. I did not get any response afterwards. Just now asking the manager from your store for work is my another attempt.\n\n**Vold**: Please don't focus too much on side job. To me, a side job is the type of job where you don't actively look for, but only referred to by friends, like this job I got at the grocery. You don't spend time looking for side jobs while you could have spent the time looking for your professional jobs.\n\n**Me**: Why do I want to bulldoze my way and don't come out with plan B? Why can't we earn some side income to cover our daily expenses while looking for the job we want? isn't that a smarter move compared to just banging on the wall hoping we will hit the professional job we want, which we do not know when it will come? Why not cover our expenses so we could further stretch our time staying here, and then we can apply more jobs then? Why limit ourselves to just this 1 year, if cannot get just pack stuffs and go back Malaysia?\n\n**Vold**: Why want to torture yourself, is this side job what you really want to do? again, we are here in Australia to enjoy, why torture ourselves like that? \n\n**Me**: I have not tried, how would I know I don't like these side jobs? I have an ex-colleague in Canada, he was a Staff Engineer in our previous company, but now he happily works as a janitor in Canada. With the minimum wage in Australia, we can live comfortably regardless of what job we do. Even with these side jobs, we can cover more than our living expense and have some savings at the end of the day. What to do with these savings? Invest? up to you la.\n\nI cannot remember what was the conversation past this point, but I vividly remember this last part that pisses me off the most.\n\n**Vold (with sarcastic tone)**: I admire people like you that have so many ideas to go about. I do not have a single friend who actually went Centrelink like you to ask for job assistance hahahaha.\n\n**End of dialogue**\n\n![dafuq.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWpV4QRAo1ShPQ9TgTUdgYYH2mTjpztfjpyQeTRCknGN9/dafuq.jpg)\n[image source](https://memegenerator.net/instance/53943067/jackie-chan-black-white-meme-dafuq)\n\nRight after he said that, immediately deep down in my heart, I know I cannot trust this person or live with him. Just so you know, I had a few friends asking me to try Centrelink, it won't help much but at least try it. It is a government organisation that supports the welfare of the people, including assisting them to look for jobs. Google it for more info.\n\nOn that night I got so furious and told everything to my GF via whatsapp, because it is not healthy to keep it in my heart right? Wouldn't want my depression to come back.\n\nOn the next few days, Tuesday to Friday, I got up early in the morning and left the house before Voldemort even wakes up. I went to the library to use it's public wifi to look for side jobs. Upon browsing and browsing, I realized something which I knew a few months ago, most of these side jobs such as factory workers require own transport. About 2 months ago, I was contacted by a factory work recruitment agency and successfully signed up with them. They told me, once I get a car, immediately contact them so they could place me in factory work.\n\nSo days go by contemplating whether I should get a cheap second-hand car? Of course, I was worried the cost it will incur, but I am more afraid of what path I would go down if I don't do anything. Then on that fateful Friday morning, I woke up to an inspirational video message sent to me via whatsapp by a friend who made living a success in Australia over 30 years ago. Below is the video clip :)\n\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpJmpClJi4E\n[Youtube link here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpJmpClJi4E)\n\nAs I watched this video, I realized my coconut is my bank savings. I am reluctant to buy a car because I don't want to see my balance decrease any further. And then I further realize, if I don't invest in a car, my balance will decrease even more in the long run. So I got up early that Friday morning, did some research on used-car dealers and finally found a car I like :D It is a Toyota Yaris YR Automatic Model Year 2008, and the mileage is only 72,000km, driveaway price $7880. Pretty good eh? So I went to the dealer in Northcote, inspected the car with the help of my dad remotely, and purchased the car :) I received the car following Tuesday because the dealer had to send the car for Road Worthy Certification. It is akin to Malaysia's PUSPAKOM.\n\nOn Saturday morning, the very next day after I paid deposit for the car, Voldemort came talk to me while I was in the kitchen preparing my meal. Had some chat, told him I was looking for jobs these few days thats why I went out of house early. And also I purchased a car. He was pretty surprised, I think because despite the negative comments he said about buying a car, I still went ahead and bought it. Now this is another point of conversation with him that pushed me to the edge with his behaviour. Again the dialogue might have a little exaggeration, simplification, or slightly different from the actual conversation, but the points are there.\n\n**Vold**: These few days I see you so stress looking for job, why la so stress? I see early morning you disappeared.\n\n**Me (talking in my head)**: I am not like you so laid back, and doesn't even seem determined to make living in Australia a success.\n\n**Me**: Yeah, I was just looking for job, and also I went and bought a car yesterday.\n\n**Vold**: Wow, nice, what car is that?\n\n**Me**: Toyota Yaris, second-hand.\n\n**Vold**: Nice. Why do you buy it?\n\n**Me**: To get a factory job. 90% of the factory job postings I have been looking through the past few months require a car, as they do not want you to be late, and be there within like an hour when they call you. Also most of these places are not accessible by public transport, and their operation is 24x7, so you gonna have problem commuting with public transport if your shift are outside regular working hours.\n\n**Vold**: I don't believe you need to buy a car to get a job. Now your savings is already stretched thin, and you buy a car and it stretch even thinner. Initially maybe you have until December to look for job, but now maybe you have until September? The extra few months has a lot of opportunities.\n\n**Me**: Yes, the extra few months have a lot of opportunities, but ask yourself, we have been here like 5 months, and coming 6 months already, are we anywhere near in getting a job? Going by this trajectory, why you so sure in that few extra months you will get a job? If you can do something differently, why not try it? I have been looking at a lot of job postings, even there was 1 interview I got rejected because I do not possess a car. From what I see and not based on my feelings, I whole heartedly conclude that having a car is advantageous. And it is not my opinion alone, my friends who is successfuly here 30 years ago encouraged me to get a car, even the job provider from Centrelink advise me to get a car, the agency that recruit for factory worker advise me to get a car too.\n\n**Vold**: The job if it comes then it will come, like Jack Ma, he had been rejected by KFC so many times, now damn successful. Don't do crazy things just because you were rejected so many times.\n\n**Me**: Yeah? I know the reason why I was rejected. And I know one of the biggest concern the employers has is my ability to commute to work outside regular working hours. Knowing this, how can I just sit down and do nothing about this weakness? Success like Jack Ma is not a straight road, he took many curved paths and sometimes around. What you are doing is just bulldozing to your goal in a straight line, banging your head on the wall multiple times and no result. So what am I doing trying to work in a factory? I know in my professional field I lack finance, commerce, and retail experience, that's why I didn't get much response from employers when I apply for a professional job. I didn't make this up. I attended a live online course with a pro in my field which is from Sydney, and that's what he said is happening in the Australian market. So I will work temporarily in a factory, get some income, and use that income to upskill myself. It is a long road, but it is the most plausible road I can see.\n\n**Vold**: Well, it is good you have a plan. But what if buying a car and you still cannot get a job? what then? you would have stretched your savings unnecessarily and then you will be even more stressful. If the job market is split 80% require a car, and 20% do not require a car, I will focus on the 20% that do not require a car.\n\n**Me**: Then wouldn't you have missed on that 80%?\n\n**Vold**: Yes that is correct. I will still focus on that 20% because then I would not have to stretch my savings. I do not believe you need to get a car to get a job. If the job really needs a car to be hired, that job better be paid well. Unless you need the car to do UBER and the likes, that is understandable. Don't be so discouraged when you get rejected so many times. I also got rejected don't know how many times. From what I see, people usually don't hire you either because you are underqualified or overqualified. Buying the car at ~$8000, you could have used that money to attend 2 to 3 courses to upskill yourself. The course I attended before which cost $2000++, I do not care I could not get a job after that, because I know I accomplished something. After successful completion of that course, that achievement is forever locked in my resume.\n\n**Me (thinking in my mind)**: Whats the point you lock that title in your resume or have that title in your resume if no one is going to hire you? Is like I go take a medical degree, but no one dares to be treated by me. In the end, self-praising?? Or in Malay language, it is called syiok sendiri.\n\n**Vold**: Again I been telling you, we come to Australia, so difficult to get the PR, we must enjoy. Why torture yourself? I see you these few days so stress, I hope you don't get depression. A housemate that always so stress, I don't want this kind of housemate. (this part is not an exaggeration or anything, it is exactly like he said).\n\n**Me (thinking in my mind)**: Wow, the feeling is mutual. But yeah I did decide not to live with you anymore. The house lease expiry is just another 3 months away. I just have to be patient.\n\n**Vold**: Well, I wish you good luck.\n\n**End of dialogue**\n\nOn that night, I could not sleep until around 3-4am because of what he said. He instills fear into me, what if I really cannot get a job after getting a car?\n\n![20120123-091735.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRUuCaMtJNt115BTavLZ4vcEY3LBT1w13Mr9JEpe9LoHh/20120123-091735.jpg)\n[image source](https://adhdfordummies.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/help-my-brain-wont-shut-off-and-i-cant-sleep/)\n\nAt that time, my GF was chatting with me until that time :D thanks dear for always supporting me !! I finally able to sleep, but how did I calm myself and put myself to sleep? It is simply by changing my focus from negative to positive. See, this Voldemort was able to shift my focus on buying the car into something negative, he made me focus on everything that could go wrong. But once I remembered why I decide to buy this car in the first place, together with the logical reasons and affirmation from my lovely GF, I manage to focus my attention from everything that could go wrong, to everything that could go right.\n\n![homer_woohoo.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmVe4wxqp8ZRtMAktkbZUbafbwQtCymHMrs65iSgyHCuT2/homer_woohoo.jpg)\n[image source](https://unwindyourmind.wordpress.com/2010/02/19/424/)\n\nOnce you are pissed with a person to this extent,  what do you normally do? You over-analyze them :D\nI'm a firm believer that a person always has underlying reasons for the way they behave, say, and do what they do. I start to ponder, do this Voldemort has some hidden agenda? Why is he directing me to a path which I see failure in the long run? Why did he keep mentioning if cannot make it in Australia, let's just pack up and go back Malaysia? Why is he discouraging me from trying so hard?\n\nOver the next few days, I tried to connect the dots to his behaviour, and try to recall the things he said as vividly as possible. Then one day an epiphany came to me. This guy has no intention of staying or make living in Australia a success at all!!\n\n![Whaat_minion.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWRTET3bqtwfxE8HJaCieUpfoonNgaYpefR7T4DyPhMxR/Whaat_minion.jpg)\n[image source](http://clubpenguin.wikia.com/wiki/File:Whaat_minion.jpeg)\n\nI noticed in the past few weeks, he has been mentioning going back to Malaysia more and more often. And he is trying to squeeze as much fun time he can possibly have while he is still here and dragging me along because he doesn't want to do it alone. To make it simple, below is the list of things he did that set off my red flag:\n\n1) Voldemort consistently mentions going back to Malaysia.\n2) Previously, he tried to get me to go to Sydney with him for sightseeing and I impulsively agreed. Recently I got an interview in Sydney via telephone and video call. He tried to gauge when I would leave for Sydney and wants to come along. I firmly told him, I am not 100% sure I am going as it depends on the outcome of this job application. If get, I will go, if not, I won't go. He got a little upset, and said didn't you say you wanted to go last time? I replied firmly saying, yes but my priority changed now. Now my priority is to get a job. He responded by saying \"why you so boring\".\n3) Today I also managed to get a factory job on casual basis. So if I can't get the job in Sydney, I still have this job I can work in meantime.  He responded to me by asking, \"don't you want to enjoy before you start all these work? I'm trying to get the point to you that you should enjoy before start work, not start work only enjoy\". I ignored him because I know what annual leaves are for.\n4) He said he wants to go back to Malaysia middle of July for about 2 months, and I heard he accidentally said going back permanently, and then he quickly changed his words to \"maybe permanently but not sure yet\".\n\nWith the points above, I firmly believe this guy is playing me for a fool and making me dance around on his chessboard just so I could accompany him to have fun before he packs his stuff and wave his white flag and go back to Malaysia.\n\nIf you are reading this post up to this point, I have advise for you. Please be careful with who you mix with, and after some time you notice your desire or determination to succeed dwindle, quickly re-evaluate what happened? Is it because someone constantly put negative comments into your head? If yes, find out who that is, what he/she did, and try to cut-off that person from your life. I am happy this Voldemort is going back to Malaysia so I don't have to keep my guard up all the time. CHEERS!!",
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