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      "title": "A nice curve",
      "body": "https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/2000/1*0w9XftiwwiU1CecAQhaQDA.jpeg\r\n\r\nIn perpetual motion…\r\n\r\nA new year, a new beginning. I'm cheating a little bit, that's true. I entered the curve of this long curve in the year 2017. A few months later, I find it difficult to feel the positive effects of this change.\r\n\r\nJanuary 2018, I'm shooting. One might think that I like this curve, when in fact I'm already starting to feel an unpleasant feeling of turning. I still remain firmly attached to the rails, the only ones able to hold me in a semblance of direction to avoid that I end up in the decor.\r\n\r\nIf I look at the distance travelled so far today, it seems I've always preferred bends over straight lines. Probably my daredevil side.\r\n\r\nWhen I was a kid, I found myself more often perched on top of trees than hiding behind the living room console. On the risk side, there is no photo.\r\n\r\nIt was relatively easy, there were no consoles at home, or even TV sets. An education far from the screens was still possible at the time, even if we looked like little green men. Thank you, Mom and Dad!\r\n\r\nEntry into high school was decisive. That's when I started to get a taste for anything that didn't go straight. Oh, that's for sure, I was going to be a hell of a pilot. I got my driver's license at the first glance! History was a little less glorious on the side of the baccalaureate, then studies later...\r\n\r\nAfter high school, I was going to be king of the curve.... out of control! I was more the kind of pilot who would go head to tail on the slightest attempt rather than the one who crossed the finish line at the high point. But at least I had the merit of trying. Anyone who doesn't try anything has nothing.\r\n\r\nI don't really know why I stubbornly joined a +3 behind my Bac. But after many years of hard work, I succeeded. I became a graduate myself, without really having a clear idea of where it would lead me.\r\n\r\nThere was perhaps this timid desire to exist in a society that still today does not allow everyone to realize their dreams. External pressures too. These voices that reach us and keep repeating over and over again that the more diplomas we have, the more we will increase our chances of success in our careers. Sad reality, long live France, long live bullshit jobs.\r\n\r\nI'm not going to go over the last twenty years of my life, it would be slightly boring. Still, they have been a succession of bends with more or less controlled exits, and of course some inevitable crashes. All the classic stuff in the end.\r\n\r\nIt seems that this is how you learn, grow and realize yourself. Personally, I'm still in the scriptwriting stage. I have pieces of stories in mind, but not really a common thread. As for the main characters who will accompany me in my quest, I already know a few, but there are still some missing, and not the least.\r\n\r\nIn recent years, I haven't really changed my way of doing things. Maybe that's the problem. Curves, curves and more curves. I can't figure out where I'm going.\r\n\r\nI had however imagined that I would go a little bit straighter when I was in my thirties. I saw my life as a long, quiet river, with wife and children. Basic, simple, simple, simple, basic as Orelsan would say. Apparently, life decided otherwise. Yes, it's easier to blame everything on her for life!\r\n\r\nAnne-Laure is probably right, maybe we just have to be there and wait. Do not strive to seek meaning in everything that has been and is. Remain open to what might eventually come up without necessarily looking in a new direction.\r\n\r\nThe problem is that we live in a world where inactivity, in the sense of absence from work for pay, can quickly lead to a very uncomfortable and even unbearable situation. The supremacy of doing, not being.\r\n\r\nSo today I'm shooting. I'm trying to use the last curve I took to find the momentum for my future achievement, which I hope not too far away. And in the meantime, I'm working on the script. That's how we create beautiful stories...",
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      "title": "Watch out, you're becoming my favourite.",
      "body": "https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/2000/1*YnzLs7ys170WvTGWhMVOfQ.jpeg\r\n\r\nOne day, a guy tells me \"Love is love! . Damn, he's got so much confidence that I believe him. I tell myself, you can't be so sure of yourself without being right. I'll take his words for cash and put them into practice. I'm failing. Lots of people come along and beat me \"Love, that's it! ». Each time a different definition from the previous one. I swallow them. They're crooked. Last time, I said no. No. No. It's all over, but I'm gonna test it my way.\r\n\r\nTell me, don't you think there's always some guys out there to impose their thoughts on you? To remind you that their truth holds true for the whole world?\r\nVery few will dare say to you,\"You're on your own! ». Yet that's the important thing. Go live and find yourself. Nothing matters more than what you find out for yourself. There are many gurus of sentiment. They saw everything, lived everything, understood everything. Except for one thing. There's as many ways to feel as there are humans on Earth.\r\n\r\nThey told me that the madness of love was temporary. You don't like it when you're 20, you don't like it when you're 35 or 50. They have defined love in all that is most reasonable. They've identified every contour. But from the moment we theorize it, is it still there?\r\n\r\nI looked at them with anger. It is these people who break the beliefs. These are the people who chain love together. Those who tell you that nothing lasts but illusion; to convince themselves that they could do nothing when they let him go. They polish each asperity to sweeten its intensity. They make morphine out of it: it alleviates pain, it anaesthetizes the delights. They end up believing it. That's the way it is. Not in any other way.\r\n\r\nI don't give a shit about their lessons. I don't think love is frozen. Of course he's evolving, but as soon as we try to tame him, he's out of control. I don't know anyone who wants to stay in a cage. Not even circus animals. To live it, you have to untie your chains. Free its dark and luminous parts. He's that insubordinate one.\r\n\r\nhttps://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1600/1*NKRFxR0LVGxIU5x2asupYg.jpeg\r\n\r\nWell, look at the two of us. We didn't expect that. It took us one night, without warning. Happy happenings gather wandering souls. Two worlds wandering towards each other. One without anticipating the other. Till they intertwine. We weren't looking for anything. We expected everything. At the bend of a street, the glances meet, surprise, question and embrace each other. It was so hot, I told you something like,\"Good night, shake hands?. You never let her go again.\r\n\r\nThere are many different ways of apprehending people. Sometimes you look at them. You're really looking at them. Everything changes.\r\nWe pass by a flood of individuals, without seeing them. No sorrow. We could have bumped into each other, noticed each other and fled on our own. Later, feel the weight of the sigh. You think we're getting over missing someone who would have messed it up? I don't think so, sir. It's latent, in a corner. A parenthesis where we don't really know. Which could have but won't be. We pretend it's exhausting. On Monday, Tuesday and every following day if we go that way; until the beast rises up and sends our cowardice back to us in the face. We had the courage not to pretend ignorance. It's a choice. That of reinventing everything, of making a finger at regrets.\r\n\r\nhttps://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/2000/1*Z_C0-0NtTFk5cILTAhnZvA.jpeg\r\n\r\nWe've got crazy eyes to tie up. In your eyes a nine-millimeter with no safety catch. I'm dropping the guns. Go ahead, shoot your bullets. I've always loved angry people. They intimidate me. My look on your face whispered \"I want you here tonight,\" and you said,\"Cap.\" Looks like a parade, something shamanic. Goddamn it, you're dancing like a foot! Tonight, you kidnapped me under the worst rules of art. I said,\"Catch me if you can,\" and I let it happen. Two kidnappers, none innocent. I'm hiding in the backpack, you take it on your back. Let's get out of here! I saw my feet and fists not so tied together; except for the desire to be robbed. I'm not gonna lie to you, I didn't try to escape. If they catch us, the wrongdoers, how many years do we take? Perpetuity?\r\n\r\nI let myself be overtaken by your eyes and your tender gestures; your fingers that touch me; the thrills of so much delicacy. I catch myself watching you sleep. I can pass a turn of the dial without closing my eyes. I feed on your hip contours. Your moles. I could even draw them. I want to whisper all this to you. We're not going to wait to say the words that make you feel good.\r\n\r\nWith you I have understood that it is not the blows of shards that disconcert me, it is the little attentions; to share my lemon meringue pie, whereas I would never have done it. Watching you sink out of your nose; kissing you anyway. Listening to you sing Celine Dion's song and crashing in. I could have written so many things about your smile and your lips that I wanted to come back. About the movements of your body against mine and my breath in the hollow of your neck. I could have written about your weird humor and modesty. It's just that all this, I'm saving it for later. For both of us.\r\n\r\nhttps://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1600/1*zUhrx9XZTUDXfBnKz2wPmQ.jpeg\r\n\r\nYou and I both know this is not neutral. That two of us is unreasonable. Sometimes chaotic, sometimes fantastic. Something's going down. It's like a slash along my being. A breach where the invisible becomes visible: my fears, my fragility, my tales. It's violent to reveal oneself, it's liberating to be in the real world.\r\n\r\nYou're my shit. The one that ruins my head and blows stakes in my stomach every time I text. The one that leads me to summits invisible to the naked eye, so high that I'm so fucking dizzy. This is creepy. It's all right. It's okay. Of course I am, I'm hooked. I don't feel like weaning myself. You think I'm weak? I think it's being strong to admit it. You're my heroin shot. I'm your dose of heroes. Without super-power. In the arena, I drop the mask. I'm getting naked. You're my heroine, the one who lives love out of line. Who dares. Who conquered those spaces between us. See, these emotions, they provoke each other. You have to fight to test them. At one point, we thought it was time. At the edge of the cliff, we jumped towards each other. We fell in love.\r\n\r\nBut what are the risks of starting from scratch? Nothing. Nothing.\r\nWe've taken it like it is, with our joys and breaks. With our moods. We tame them. Nothing is linear. Feelings are not mechanical. I'm a wild man. Yesterday, I didn't want to see anyone. Not even you. There are days without. In any case, we are not going to delude ourselves, we will not agree every time. There will always be those looks. They destroy, they magnify. Some crush, others grow. I like the way you look at me. I know, I'm not necessarily the best at it. I can be vexatious, cold and clumsy. In your eyes, I feel perfect to be imperfect. That gives confidence. In the other one. Anything that comes.\r\n\r\nI don't dare to say it too much. I have the left verb. I miss you when you're not around. The others are here, enough to fill any void; not enough to fill yours. Because a person can fill you with a world, they can also depopulate it. It's like crapahuter at 6000 meters of altitude, I can scream, no echoes, no answer. My voice is choking, engulfed by silence. And I'm alone. I'm alone with you. So I'm telling you, my favorite part of it when you leave is when I see you again.\r\n\r\nI want to show you how important you are. Now, now. Because I know that everything can stop, we didn't promise each other anything. Regardless, a relationship is not defined by the notion of time, but by what we live together in the moment. It's an everyday bet. Then we're going to fight. For us. We're not giving up anything. And even if it ends earlier than expected, we can say that something beautiful and unforgettable has happened to us. That maybe there weren't a lot of opportunities, but we knew how to seize one. That we jumped. That we risked ourselves. And deserved it.\r\n\r\nYou and I have a brush at our fingertips. We're painting. We're painting the moment. On the pallet, we imbue it with our history, our aspirations, our thoughts and our doubts. On the canvas, one chooses one side, one does not dare too much. The more blows you give, the more you reveal yourself. To the other one. To yourself. And we meet up. Two languages. Two ways of seeing the world. To change it. Mixing our strokes. You paint as you feel. With our failures, our excesses. We don't know what happens next, we create it. We sketch, we scribble. We can do whatever we want. As we can. It looks nothing like anything but us. This painting takes on the appearance of a struggle. Without victor or defeat. Neither wants to bring down the other. All moves are permitted provided victory is mutual. We paint who we are. I paint the way I love you. We paint to make it all up.",
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