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      "body": "Congratulations @shasha.ajamain! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@shasha.ajamain/birthday2.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@shasha.ajamain) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=shasha.ajamain)_</sub>\n\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "body": "The thought of you is addicting. Even everytime you crossed my mind, my heart feels like being stabbed a thousand times, but still I cant stop. It feels like cutting yourself, you know its bad but it feels good. Somehow, not including you in my daily thoughts feel so wrong, forgetting you is wrong. It feels so completely wrong. \n\n\"And when you love someone, you just, you dont stop, ever. ... If I could take the whole world's advice and just move on, that wouldnt be love. That would be some disposable thing that is not worth fighting for\" -Ted Mosby\n\nI know for the fact that you are supposed to be some disposable thing that this not worth fighting for because you're a coward, abusive, toxic and just bad for me. But it is what it is. Im opening my wound, salting it every single day. But I cant move on because my stupid heart says you're not disposable..",
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      "body": "@@ -1066,24 +1066,16 @@\n hat \n-makes me \n prevent\n+s\n  me \n",
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      "author": "shasha.ajamain",
      "body": "I have what they called anxiety and mild depression where im constantly sad, crying for no reason at all and it keeps me up all night with all these negative thoughts inside my head and sometimes, sometimes I couldn't even breathe properly. The pain stuck inside my chest. There are days when im completely fine and there are days when I dont feel like participating in life. I cannot control it, If I feel like crap today then I feel like crap. There's no numbing the pain, there's no putting it on pause. It just kills you bit by bit until you break down. So one of my ways to make the shitty days bearable is to have a positive mind eventho its hard. These are some tips to maybe help you to put your mind at ease.\n\n1. Seeing life in a more bigger picture\nLife is more than what you have right now. I keep on putting my mind in place 20 30 years from now, soaking up the sun, chilling in the arms of my non-existunging-better-half. It helps me to calm down knowing that I have a slight chance of happiness in the future.\n\n2. Do bucket list and life goals.\nThis is what makes me prevent me from giving up. I made all these places I want to see, things I want to do, gosh it's so motivational. It helps with the pain not really curing the whole of it but hey! Whatever it takes to make life bearable right?\n\n3. Wake up and shine on!\nEventho the bed is holding you hostage, fight your way through it and break the chains. Get outta bed and just put your shine on. Fake it till you make it!\n\n4. Do stuffs to keep your mind busy.\nMine would be mopping the floor for several hours. Whatever to keep my mind from imagining and over-thinking stuffs.\n\nSometimes, people ask me to talk to them but I dont think I want to bother people with shits im dealing with bcs im sure they are struggling on their own too. My problem is not that important to be paid attention to every single time so I hv to find my ways to get through it alone. Its not that easy tho but trust me its worth the struggle. Its an everyday life long battle I believe but you're gonna get through this, im gonna get through this. Hope you're enjoying life and hope these tips somehow help to ease your pain a bit. Much love x",
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      "body": "Ugly and fat.\nWhere you just barely exist and gone unnoticed.\nWhy does it somehow a perk?\nWell here it is\n\nHaving someone you love the most in the whole wide world to reject you gently. By saying \"im not ready for relationship\" instead “you're fat and ugly, I dont want to be with you\". That is why you cheated on me at the first place, aren't you? You are a person, an object for people to train their sensitivity and kindness by being dishonest.\n\nTo have your momma lecturing you to eat healthy and cut down sugar after months and months of not seeing each other instead of \"I miss you\". Yes, I miss you too mommy. Perks: getting different kind of \"I miss you\".\n\nKedai-mamak-talk that full with nutrionist. Instead of asking how you've been, asking how's life treated ya so far. But there they are, sipping their teh tarik ping while explaining work-out routine or diet plans to you and you just nod and smile. we could talk abt other things, we could talk abt how the stars are made or why the world is sphere but why this? Well, atleast you're doing a great deal of charity by letting people practice their \"doctor\" skills on ya. \n\nThe world is not a place for ugly objects. There you are, unnoticed with a heart like a fire and a ragging soul. You're not alone and you are just fucking incredible and nothing, nothing is wrong with being who you are. Just so you know, the uglies and fats deserve beautiful things. There's nothing that the uglies and fats are not worthy of. You deserve beautiful things, we deserve beautiful things. Spread love around x",
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