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      "title": "Lessons from a winter, solo hike.",
      "body": "**I drove up the winding road, higher and higher along the side of the hill.** The Forest Service Road was littered with big rocks, washed out crevices and limbs from the old growth trees above head. I learned how to drive these kinds of roads from my time in Montana. You straddle the big ruts with the wheels of the car. You watch carefully for rocks, dirt or snow that might make you high center. It's a game, in a way. One that is more fun when you are not in a two-wheel drive hatchback. At three miles in, I reached the elevation where snow had still survived the mild January weather, meaning game over for my little Ford Focus. I make it a point to not be the person who gets stuck in the middle the road in an attempt to shave off a mile of walking. I pulled off to the side, practically on the edge of the hill itself, and parked.\n\n![Screenshot_20190112-194951.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSYiQLaCbRdQikX6KvshYL13uBu57nCX18G158LSeiuK1/Screenshot_20190112-194951.png)\n\n---\n\nHiking near Ashford, WA, 1.12.19\n\nThis is a hidden challenge with winter hiking. You might have a hike planned that All Trails says is 4 miles, but getting to that trailhead in winter will likely mean extra distance and elevation. I pulled up my map and assessed. An extra 3 miles and 900 ft of elevation lay between me and the trailhead. With bright blue skies above head, I pulled on my boots, strapped snowshoes to my pack and set out on the path of crisp white snow. A single set of footprints marked the snow along the trail, and I followed them.\n\n![IMG_20190112_114040.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmNp8wHjg4XuD8ChsvvkcibEJ79Ab748GwBgwfWpuvNApD/IMG_20190112_114040.jpg)\nView of Gifford Pinchot National Forest, 1.12.19\n\nYears of hiking solo have taught me that I'm not a trail blazer. I don't need or really want to be the first person to hike in an area in months. I find comfort in knowing that another living human has recently been on a trail, walked the same path, and maybe scared away a bear or two. It takes some of the wild out of the wild, and frankly, that is fine with me. I prefer to be on the conservative side brave, because there is a fine line between bravery and recklessness.\n\nAn hour passed and I finally reached the trailhead. Immediately the elevation shifted to a dramatic incline. The forest thinned out, and suddenly the trail became a tiny, snow-covered shelf on the face of a sharp cliff. I removed my snowshoes and carefully traced the footprints of the hiker before me. A single misstep or unbalanced sway could send me tumbling downhill. I kept my weight shifted into the hillside, digging my poles into the snow with each step. Huge boulders jutted from the side of the landscape above head. Snow and pine needles rolled off them and down the hill's face in a steady stream, like tiny avalanches.\n\nWith a final uphill pitch, a turn in the trail took me away from the cliff face and safely to level forest. The trees faded away, opening to a white field of a snow-covered lake, undisturbed except for melted pools of water, signifying the boundary between lake and land. The peak of a mountain lay directly on the other side. The footprints of the former hiker stopped here, leaving the trail to the peak itself hiding and indiscernible under a 4-foot deep, clean blanket of snow. I was emboldened by my progress. I pushed on, not ready to give up my dream of spending the night camping on the top of that beautiful peak. I knew that just past the lake was the true reward of this hike. Views of Mt. Rainier, Mt. St. Helens, Mt. Adams and the Olympics were hiding just beyond. The weather was ideal. If I could just find the trail leading to the peak and set up camp, I would have a front row seat to the sunset and sunrise of a lifetime.\n\n![Screenshot_20190112-194250.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcqMFTZSpstCMjnUhP7h1qmWKzoMoWSYiVh3jL34Qk3Mu/Screenshot_20190112-194250.png)\nLake Christine, Ashford, WA, 1.12.19\n\nI followed the pools of melted lake until it became a twisting creek, hidden beneath the snow. Not eager to risk falling in, I headed right, toward the forest. Trees dotted the landscape in every direction, just far enough apart that it was impossible to tell where a trail lay between them. From what I had read online, that forest would eventually lead to another cliff. After an hour of hiking, retracing my steps back to the lake, and trying a new direction, I gave up. No sunrise is worth falling into an icy lake or falling off a cliff for.\n\nI could have stayed, set up camp at the lake, and still had an amazing experience, but a major, self-made rule sent me heading back down: I hadn't actually seen a single other person. Maybe this is a dumb rule, but I can't seem to convince myself that being completely isolated, in the dark, with nothing but thin nylon tent between me and the wilderness, is a fun idea. Plus, I had more than enough time to make it back to the car before dark (another rule I make for myself), so staying seemed all the more ridiculous.\n\nI headed back down, still happy that I had make it to the lake. I took my time as I descended, stopping to feel the sun on my face and take in the views of the valley below. In spring, I'll come back and find that trail. I'll wake up on the peak and watch the sun rise in a fiery red-orange explosion of color over the horizon and over the tops of those mountains. Someday. But tonight, I'll be sleeping in my own bed.\n\n---\n\nAre you a solo hiker?\nDo you backcountry camp alone?\nHow do you balance bravery with safety?\nLet me know in a comment below!\n\n![IMG_20190112_135235.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmVwrCKnpyE62jRXbiRe1L62HqteadudH2X1xSsEBMtrXD/IMG_20190112_135235.jpg)",
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      "body": "@@ -1712,19 +1712,14 @@\n late\n-%3C\n %0A%3E\n-%3E _\n noun\n-_\n  an \n",
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      "title": "The Clean Slate Escape",
      "body": "![Screenshot_20181013-171111.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmbtFLiqhrE2dj3hAzpnP5YLEoQfFC7xcE6pigN8NJW8Ui/Screenshot_20181013-171111.png)\n\nA blank canvas. Starting fresh. A new beginning. Zen sounding, isn’t it? A sense of untapped potential is hiding there. Anything could happen. Everything could happen. You can be whoever you want to be.\n\n“It’s really brave of you, moving across the country like that, to completely new states,” people say, when I tell them my story. I explain my launch away from everything and everyone I’d ever known, landing in Montana, and then Washington State, and now here, in Portland, Oregon.\n\n“Yeah, you know what, I do feel brave. It really took a lot,” has been my usual reply. Moving is hard, and to new state is even harder. It’s expensive, stressful, intimidating, and at times, lonely, when you’re doing it all by yourself. It takes hours of research and planning if you’re on a tight budget and don’t want to end up completely broke.\n\nThere is this notion that I have always held, that traveling is a sign of freedom. Given the prevalence of #vanlife #wanderlust #passionpassport movements, I’m not alone in my thinking. Freedom equals mobility and true happiness comes from experiencing and exploring the world to the fullest extent, right?\nFour states in four years. I am exhausted, but proud of myself for being so brave, for my fearlessness in the face of the unknown and for my determination to do it alone. That’s how I always thought about my need for change and new places, until recently. Lately, I’ve begun to question the notion that this pattern, this habit of uprooting and leaving behind, whether it’s bravery or actually the very opposite.\n\n> clean slate<\n>> _noun_ an absence of existing restraints or commitments.<<\n\nMy first move gave me space to redefine myself, for myself, after a pretty destructive, painful period of my life. Putting physical distance between myself and the past actually did truly help me mentally rework and break free from a lot of negativity. Moving has given me so many good things, like, economic opportunity, self-awareness, frugality, trust in my own instincts, deeper appreciation for diversity, a minimalist attitude, patience, independence and fearlessness.\n\nOn the other hand, there is a limited amount of community connection you get when you’re continuously uprooting yourself. You may even develop an “it’s not worth getting attached,” mentality after moving a number of times. Skidding across the surface this way, after awhile, can stunt the growth of deep, intimate and life-lasting relationships and commitments. It can also be a way to escape damaged or difficult ones. Which isn’t very brave at all.\n\n“Well, my community is online anyway,” you might say. To which I would suggest you listen to this podcast episode of Waking Up With by Sam Harris, where he and writer Johann Hard discuss the history and biology of tribalism, and whether or not digital communities can truly supplement our inherent need for other people. Hard’s response to this was:\n\n>“We are meandering into a time where the possibility of intruding on ourselves technologically and pharmacologically is going to become more precise, and more tempting. It’s one thing to regulate your state by diverting yourself to social media, a video game, or some entertainment that further isolates you, but may actually scratch some kind of psychological itch for the time being. It’s another thing to actually establish a real connection to another person...”\n\nTraveling to new places is another example of ways that we can “scratch a psychological itch,” and distract or separate ourselves from discomfort or unhappiness. But, the truth is that distance alone cannot fix or free us. If you look at the full canvas of motivations for moving again and again — if you lift the veil on a recurrent need for a “fresh start,” and examine more closely, you might see fear, rather than bravery. Fear of deeper, vulnerable relationships, the kind that can hurt you and disappoint you, might be somewhere in your packed suitcase.\n\nTake time to reflect on your true motivations before your next big move. Examine your unsual pros and cons, but also other motivations that could be driving you to pack up and roll out. Who are you leaving behind? What weights are you carrying along with you that could be addressed now where you are? Quiet any voice that tells you that you are alone. Trust that there will be people there to greet you, accept you and support you when you are ready to unpack your belongings and stay for awhile. Join cliche fitness classes and book clubs. Talk to strangers. Other people will open up when you do. The time will come when bravery is no longer in leaving, rolling under the stars, and starting over.\n\nWhen that time comes, be brave. Try taking root.",
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