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      "body": "# The Mysteries of the Golden Dawn -  Protected\nIf you know the name, the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, then you are likely familiar with the fact that this used to be a secret order. In fact, the group, originally created in 1887 and founded by (Samuel Liddel) MacGregor Mathers, William Wynn Westcott, and William Robert Woodman, was a highly secretive group. They remained this way, even as they grew beyond their singular location , and those that did break their vows by going public were shunned. \n\n<div class=\"pull-right\">https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmefkznFjb7uxwtt4mQPA5T6cKxye4d7uhiLppK5ZrDZtN/crowley.jpg</div> Left side column\n\n\n\nYa... Well, this guy didn't care. He just went off and broke their seals and made his own thing... Not that it mattered... \n\n# YOLO!!!!!\n\n(Sidenote: I feel like #YOLOOTO should be a thing.... and since the mind is all, AND I have no self-control atm.... it is indeed a thing now!)  \n## Your're WELCOME\n\n<div class=\"pull-left\">http://images.uncyc.org/pt/1/1a/ThelemaCrowley.jpg</div> Left side column\n\nYep, it was all a game for him. A fantastic game of self-mastery and all that. Really, I think actually Crowley gets a bad rap. Sure, he broke his vows, but it also sounds like they were all being dicks to him. That being said, he seemed to shun MacGregor Mathers in the later years. That always seemed kind of rude, considering it sounds like he did what he could do to help. But.... maybe I am missing something. \n\nAlso, truth be told... he wasn't the only one to break his vows. Others did and they did it for money and who knows what else. I think I am going to look into this deeper. It has been a while since I have. In any case, I digress....\n\n\n<b>Moving on....</b> \n\n# Why All the Secrets?\nIn the modern era of digital everything and an overabundance of information, it can seem unfathomable why a group would try to hide all of their knowledge. Historically speaking, when an organization is hiding things, then bad things are happening. That is the world that we are used to. \n\nWell, the Golden Dawn came from a different era. Consider that secret societies have been a thing nearly as long as man has been making societies. I was going to grab a bit more information here and cite some sources but then when I asked my Google Nest about secret societies... I was told that she didn't know anything about that. She also could not tell me what the oldest known secret society was or even list some of the more famous secret societies. I finally gave up and asked about who the current reigning overlord reptilian supreme is. \n\nNope, no answer there as well. \n\nI think it's a conspiracy... \n\nShe does know about fraternal orders. She at least and gave the definition. But, try for yourself, just fun... it took a while before I got anything. I couldn't get the answers for the actual facts I wanted, so... I guess, yeah, I guess that you'll just have to trust me. \n\n# Back to the Point of the Matter... \nThe Golden Dawn was all super secret squirrel status for a long time. I found them in the 90s because a small paper dropped out of a pagan book I bought at Barnes and Noble on my lunch one day. It was this little slip with an eye on it and some information. It was all cryptic and whatnot. I ended up meeting up with people and well, let's just say I am a fan of the order and the teachings. \n\nAs time went on, I got married, had a kid, and then basically lived life broke as one will do when they are a struggling parent trying to stay afloat in pricey Orange County, Ca. Basically, I couldn't afford to keep going - both with dues and the time required. \n\n## Secretive Golden Dawn Was Expensive\nI thought it was worth it and frankly, I still do. As I moved around the western United States, I never found a local order to try to attend and over time I just figured that I had reached the end of where I was supposed to go. Then, the technological ara hit and things changed. \n\nhttps://archive.org/details/TheHermeticOrderOfTheGoldenDawnCorrespondenceCourseLessons101To150/The%20Hermetic%20Order%20of%20the%20Golden%20Dawn%20-%2000%20-%20N%C3%A9ophyte%200%3D0%20%282%29\n\nUm.... there the books sat one day. \n\nThey are just listed, as they have been for years now. \n\nI looked at them and, yep. \n\nI don't know. I am conflicted. I have vows, but this appears to be posted by a Frater. \n\nI don't want to teach this, I don't know it well enough to do so. So, I sat on it for a long while, and tehn simply placed it on our learning group - and then waited to see if there was any interest. \n\nFeel free to check it out here. [Link to Hydrophant!](https://www.facebook.com/groups/Hydrophant)\n\nIt took <b>TWO FREAKING YEARS</b> but it happened, I had a couple people ask about it. I had said that because of my vows I was conflicted and would wait until I had other people who wanted to study the work and then I would just join in. It would be like a study group. No charge, no anything special. However, I did require there to be enough people and they had to be solidly committed or at least seem to be. So.... yep. Things... they are changing. \n\n# Is Secrecy Needed Anymore?\nI understood... or so I thought... but I don't even know if it is possible like it once was. I mean, it seems like the occultists have just given up. The [Hermetic Library!](https://hermetic.com/gdlibrary/bb/neophyte) has the Neophyte ritual and plenty of other teachings that once were considered to be too much knowledge for the general pubic. I like to think, that things are as they are supposed to be... as they always are. However, it feels weird. I don't know if I like it.... but I am going to make the best of it. \n\n## Stay Tuned for More Updates \nIn the light of throwing secrecy to the wind, I am going to update here about developments in my practice. It's all part of a bigger social experiment... I guess we will see how this plays out.",
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      "title": "Progress in the Making :) Updates on Podcast, and other things!",
      "body": "Well, I can say that this month has been filled with a few milestones. I finally made the leap and I posted a podcast. \n\n# Mage Against the Machine is HERE! \n\n\n![Pink and yellow cover.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmNW77mAPW38DgrNUhouTo62uj3Y3HEQW1ivEUnqCHujAW/Pink%20and%20yellow%20cover.jpg)\n\nWhat do you know? That's me :) \n\nI wasn't so sure, but I am loving this project for a number of reasons. \n\n1. I love magick, the occult, and philosophy. As passion subjects, this becomes more than just a monetizing effort, it is honestly holding my interest and allowing me to explore some of the areas that I haven't before, in regards to esoteric knowledge. Also, I am really looking forward to being able to change my practice, how I practice, some of the tools, and all of that. This is giving me an excuse! Ha! \n\n2. I love being a freelancer, but with technology changing and this kind of medium continuously growing in popularity... well, I feel dumb only jumping on now. I have been a freelancer for nearly 13 years, and I have watched fads come and go... but this whole podcast thing never really dipped. It took off and grew steadily, then it was FIYAH, and now... well, it is leveling, but still with a growth rate. I feel like I am helping my career by knowing how this all works. With that in mind, I have made rules for myself with this podcast, so I can kind of see the strata of how to create and how to grow. \n\n3. It is beyond the time that I have embraced technology.... in a  magick, as well as a work sense. \n\n\n## Learning As I Go\nSo, alas... I did it!  It may sound silly to some, but ever since I worked on the Podcasting Mastery school and seminar contract that I had a few years ago, I was always really hopeful that my boss at the time wasn't just... I don't know... swindling people. I have decided that I would try it out, what do I have to lose? \n\nThe first recording was successful, all things considered. I still have people checking it out. I definitely was off the cuff and raw the first few recordings... and listening to them, just a month later I can already see areas that could be improved, but more importantly, I am learning fast enough to apply changes and corrections moving forward. \n\nI can't get it to embed... hmm... will have to work on it, but if anyone cares, they can see the first recording here. \n\nLike magick inherently, it isn't perfect... but this is proving to be a powerful tool all in all. \n\n### Will Keep You Posted\nI will keep posting in here periodically as things develop :) \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nI decided to use Anchor for this and so far, so good. Posting is ridiculously simple and now.... they even give a website on WordPress. The option is nice a nice gesture, but I have a sinking suspicion, without dropping money into it, that the merit will be lacking. That being said, so far, this whole.... social experiment has been good. Additionally, I am able to put into play, some of the theories that I have about magick and the modern, technological era.",
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      "body": "# Onward and Upward to Bigger and Better\n\nEver get the feeling that you just changed directions in life... like, you can feel the slight shift... and then that acceleration? \n\nI have been in such a slump, as my recent sad-shit-emo posts will attest. Then, out of the blue, I felt that paradigm shift. There was suddenly this... motivation... like it had been there all along. I am old enough to recognize the signs and to know when not to mess with momentum. \n\nSometimes, you just gotta go with it, when the feeling strikes. Planning is rad when there is time for it. \n\n<i>SIDE NOTE</I> This reminds me of some shit Karl Pilkington would say.  *Oh, wait... that's because he did!*\n![karl pikington planning.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmas7CZk75hwf56LX7186WfSdWZePTSpbAQBZHCJMyxfhn/karl%20pikington%20planning.jpg)\n(Photo via free licensing ala Flickr.com)\n\n\n*Time to Fly*\n\nI remember, there was once a resistance when the change happened. Even now, I am 40 and I am not going to say that I relish change. You may think that I would... or should. Astrologically, for example, I have so much mutable fire up in here that change should be my favorite food. This so is not the case. Over the years I have come to accept it and to even relish the purpose of change in my own life. That doesn't mean that I welcome it. I do recognize it and I witness the effects that it brings, whenever it comes to town. \n\nThere is always a sense of dread when change comes, but truthfully, this is silly. The dread is there, most likely, because things are about to get uncomfortable. I find it entertaining, watching the living wiggle away from discomfort. Not funny, haha... or like I take pleasure in the displeasure of another... but there is a twinge of horrified interest that comes into play when discomfort is about. \n\n*Discomfort & Other Sources of Evolution*\nI read a lot of hermetic shit, religiosity is a carefully honed interest. Divinity and structure through faith certainly, whether intentional or not, defines my being and shapes me continuously into the person that I am presently, as well as that which is being eternally reborn as the present takes shape. This existence requires an acceptance of adaptation, which is not a personally natural quality. I have spent hours, learning how to fit in to the next situation, how to go through the rabbit hole, rather than over. I have created a series of self-challenges that act as reminders to not miss out on growth opportunities. It is fun, but it is also tiring. \n\nHowever, some of the best experiences in my own life, those that were both challenging and intriguing, were those that happened purely by paying attention to that spark of inspiration or the tugging sensation of manic manifestation. \n\n**Embrace You,  At Every Stage**\n\nAuthenticity happens when we meet our own expectations with the true self that lies within us. Personally, this is one of those codes that I strive to live by. \n\n\n![ahhh tumblr believe in yourself.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQbvJ75Z2DaLYSSjrWTL3Q8cW3fX4e9MyBD4D17bEKNNC/ahhh%20tumblr%20believe%20in%20yourself.jpg)\n\nThere is only one you, and you only have one experience... at least from this perspective. In truth, what does it matter, how many chances you have, if you only remember this one singular experience, now, here in this moment? The past,  present, and future don't stop for lollygaggers to get a clue. Sadly, this means that not even you will stop for you. ;) \n\nInspired motivation, sometimes, I like to think of it as intentional manifestation. It is like an energy buzz, where your brain bursts with ideas and the body is suddenly willing to make that thing go from a thought to a reality. It is a bonus buzz from the life hack gods. View it as a power up, a temporary boost that you have either earned (usually the case) or that some higher up player bestowed upon you. Either way,  this kind of burst can be a boon if you fight it, or a blessing if you just go with it. \n\n# Advice From The Past\nSuddenly, I remember my 5th-grade running coach. I can see his face, but don't ask me his name. \n\nThis flash of a memory moves forefront to speak up to the Congress of my consciousness. \n\n\"I saw you holding back downhill. Why was that? It is easier to just relax, let the mountain take you down, and to go with gravity.\"\n\n**I had been so focused on my running form, keeping my knees in line, my shoulders squared with my elbows and willing my lungs to breathe in these steady, recovery breaths that will sustain me for the whole 2-3 mile run, that I forgot about the environment.** \n\nI considered my form and remained quiet. In the memory, it seemed like he was waiting for a response, but I just remained awkwardly quiet. After a moment, he sort of stuttered like maybe he thought I was offended or going to argue. I don't know. I didn't even remember all of this until just now. \n\nSuddenly, I chimed in to retort, \"That makes sense. I will keep it in mind!\" \n\nI threw up my hand in a dorky thumbs up. **Ahhh why is it so embarrassing remembering things, but I was so oblivious to how clumsy my communication was at the time?** \n\nHe didn't seem to react like I was being obtuse, he just went with it. He clapped my shoulder and laughed. It wasn't condescending, but rather, a hearty, sincere sound. \n\n*slow motion now, just for a moment... Then...*\n\n\"You'll figure it out, I got faith in that and in you, kid.\" \n\n**Kid. Apparently, he didn't know my name either? Maybe that is why I STILL, can't think of his name.** But the advice was solid then and it did help me to become a better runner. It seems appropriate for the now as well. Brains are kind of helpers like that, sometimes, if you allow them to be. \n\n# No Time Like the Present\n\nI try to keep the thought in my mind for a second more, searching the memory for anything else, but there is nothing. There is a moment of the sun and then a flash of brightness, as I register the whole process that just happened. \n\nIt may be helpful to note that I used to fight this memory process too. I sort of step out of myself when it happens. Once, it happened when I was on my bicycle and I totally ate asphalt as I slipped into the memory, without thinking about it.  Not safe when you are on a moving vehicle. \n\nI digress. \n\nIt seems important though.  Sometimes there is just a leap in consciousness, or it all comes together. Sometimes the burst feels sudden, but in hindsight, it has been brewing for a while. Maybe it is more like one minute you are noticing the road ahead of you level out, and then you see the curvature of a dip ahead of you, but you keep going, trusting the process. \n\n\n![Make Things Better.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmPifuPKGrsAtdarMgekPp95fqpN9qp3wpW97f9aSGBHXe/Make%20Things%20Better.png)\n\n\nEnd of the lesson tells us that we have the power to make things better. Often, this requires grit and effort, willing a better version of ourself to the present. It is hard to remember that the future self, they exist with you, at the same time. Sometimes that person is needed, now. Hard lesson to remember for sure, but even harder to learn the first time. \n\nThankfully, that self is firmly here and now. I am witnessing growth as though it is happening to someone else and it is really pretty cool. So far, I will take it as a win. \n\n# Maintaining the Manifest\nIt happens now and then... and when it does, I am the last to complain. Manic energy, assertive and active, screams masculine to me. I feel the spark of the flame and know this element of fire. I don't think about the risk, these days. I just go with my eye on the prize of whatever creation that will come of it all. \n\nThe last few years in Idaho has been a lonely and often non-motivated trudging existence. There was a lot to do, to get settled in. I guess that has been done, at least to a point. Now, the inspiration comes back, out of nowhere. Unexpected, but pretty neat. I love the feeling of being fueled by faith, watching synchronicities happen, and following the flow of the divine. To date, in my own life, I have usually found this to be a good and decent period. \n\n* Creation to Date \nFor the sake of transparency, I am working on being more mindful to record the processes of life. I feel compelled to do this, and so with that in mind, I will say that so far, the creation has been met with challenges. I am seeing progress pretty quickly though and I am finding that much of what I have been doing in recent years is finally skills that can work together. \n\nMy computer has been broken, the one for work... my day job. This means the job hasn't paid. \n\n\n![Blue Ocean Photo Summer Instagram Post FC.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmPTza6TiUFsnC5ANvx9zcKQsKurCLWojZcHci846ud96G/Blue%20Ocean%20Photo%20Summer%20Instagram%20Post%20FC.png)\n\n* Lesson Identified: Falling Back is A-Ok \n\nAs we grow, we gain skills. Falling back sometimes means reverting to previous lessons, utilizing those skills. Allowing for a change of direction isn't a failure. Stopping and resting is even okay, so long as it doesn't turn into stagnation. There is a fine line between these transitions though, so this is where we gotta pay attention!\n\nI was able to use this burst of energy to start a new freelancing gig and completed it in just a couple of days. That covered some of my pay, but I am still a few weeks without. I keep expecting a freakout, because skirting this close to not having enough for rent normally would repel my brain, sending me into a state of emotional vertigo. \n\nNope, so far all clear! \n\n* Food for Thought: Nothing is Guaranteed. \nThere is no \"set in stone\" mantra or affirmation that will always work. This is why we are given multiple tools out the gate, when we are born. We are provided with opportunities for growth. Some lessons are harder, and some even still, insurmountable when first presented. However, the majority of us are blessed with conscious awareness, a tool that will almost always prove useful... even when disassociation and running away is the preferred plan of action. Awareness means that you are present, that you can catalog and jump into the driver seat when things start to veer off course. \n\nHowever, I have found it helpful to learn to take those moments of assistance, the downhill portion, as a blessing. I could even say a welcomed break, at this point. \n\n# What is Next? \nI have an idea... I have been building and things that should be working are not. There is no reason that my computer isn't really working, not that I can see. However, the struggle is real and money is needed. I am going to continue to build as inspiration sees fit. \n\n\n![MATM Images and Content.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcta6sM1JcNWH5vWNUtoD49Sdmj8NtMLtvJShZM54H1B3/MATM%20Images%20and%20Content.jpg)\n\n\nYou can listen to the first episode here: https://anchor.fm/mageatm/episodes/Gotta-Start-Somewhere-epapnm\n\n## Podcast Mastering \nA few years ago, I helped to write a course on podcasting called Podcasting Mastery. The host of the program, as well as another podcast called Affiliate Buzz, has since passed away. RIP James Martell <3 He was a smart guy and an aweome mentor for learning all things about podcasting, training manuals and marketing through affiliate links and networking. What a guy! I learned a lot from him and have said for years that I wanted to put that all into action. \n\nTook me long enough, but I am finally doing it. \n\n## As Luck Would Have It \nAs I was writing this, I got a text from another long-time client. He asked me to write a bunch of blogs. It is easy and enjoyable freelancing for franchises/franchisors/franchisees... essentially creating content to build business practices and a culture within a certain company market. \n\nSee, it goes to show that things sometimes will come together if you just let the universe work out the chaos. It is okay to go with the flow, and honestly... sometimes you have to. Patience and submission are two skills that I am grateful for, especially today. \n\n<3 \n\n# Thanks for Reading! \n\nI know it has been a while! Thanks for the opportunity to create transparent goals and to hold myself accountable. <3",
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      "memo": "❗ Hello rumdancer, great that you are using the STEEM blockchain. The Executive Board hereby invites you to https://discord.gg/KyBbmhh where you will get some insider infos on how you will earn the most coins. It's easy, just follow the instructions. Warm regards, The Executive Board."
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      "author": "rumdancer",
      "permlink": "how-safe-is-steemit",
      "title": "How Safe is Steemit?",
      "body": "I am in *desperate* need of a safe space, especially as of late. On one hand, I am lonely... yet on the other hand, I have the desire to connect, in honesty and with intentions set aside. I am so fucking tired of stepping ever so slightly out of place and falling on my face. Social media is a fucked up place, and it is only getting worse. \n\n# What Happened to Honest Intentions on the Internet?\n\nI take some blame, even if it is a very small part. However, I will admit that I am one of the many that have an essentially dead account. First, my world changed... and then the world around me changed... and now I sit here and I don't even know where to start. I do know that I keep saying that I am going to, but then I don't. In fact, I came on here this morning and I saw that I had a saved post that I never actually pressed save to... I can't blame the world or my own poor decisions for where I am at. I can't rely on a lot of the people in my life to understand. I don't dare risk being 100% honest anywhere, for reasons I will kind of go over... I have this desperate urge to be seen and to be held accountable. \n\n## What About Honesty With Ourselves? ##\n\nSometimes, being held accountable to yourself is the hardest thing. There comes a point in life where there is no other choice though. Some people learn this very early, too early, that people cannot be trusted. Other people witness this, know this, and continue to have hope anyway. Then, there are the others that learn it far too late. They build their lives around others, their family, their workpeople, or friends. These people can be born into a structure or choose, instead, to create their own bond beyond the blood of the womb. In any and all cases, people provide a slippery foothold for trust. In one way or another, we all learn this at some point in time. I thought I understood a lot of this, how trust worked, what the point of goals was, and, well, had a decent idea of how the world worked.\n\n# Finding Truth Through Perceptions #\n\nI don't know what my problem is, but I *always* seem to have to learn things the hard way! It used to feel like a flaw, but now I almost take pride in it. My mother told me that when I was a kid, like all the time. Her brow would furrow and she'd look at me real stern like before spouting off, \"Sometimes, I swear... you're the dumbest smart person I know. I mean, I am not trying to insult you, I am not... I just... I don't get you!\" \n\nShe did though, and how much she did, I took for granted. Granted, my stubbornness and desire to be right, like all the time, did not win me any brownie points with her. It took her a while to figure out how to talk to me, then even longer on how to direct me and teach me. I will give her credit, she did that, to the absolute best of her ability.  I have been really wanting to type out a few of these stories, but that is for another time. \n\nBack to my... roundabout way of doing things... It would frustrate her to no end, and sometimes it would make her visibly mad. My lack of common sense seemed to do more than making her shake her head. That being said, she was a constant in my life, and she was one of those people for me. She was one of those people that had it's own special voice in my head, warning me at times, encouraging me at others. Whether it was over the phone or in person, I knew that I could trust her judgment.  More importantly, I learned at an early age that lying to her was dumb. She wasn't a mind reader, and there were plenty of times that I totally got away with lying to my mother.... but the guilt. The older I got, the worse it got. By the time I was 20, it was just something that I worked on not doing anymore. \n\nWhen you're a kid, you know how sometimes you can lie to people... sort of as second nature? Maybe you want to impress someone with a tall tale, or you aren't sure of how to respond... so you tell a person what they want to hear. In the case of my mom, I was scared of getting in trouble. Of course, if I ever was caught lying, I would be in more trouble... but people are little meat sacks, wrapped around a carnivorously hungry ego. Or, I was at least. It took me a long time to realize that lying was dumb. \n\n# RIP MAMA #\nI think about her every day. My mother, not being here, is this gaping hole. Doing all that I am right now, without her support, love, and guidance... it is the hardest thing that I have ever done. I have days where I don't think I can keep going. Today, thankfully, is not one of those days. Today is a different kind of day. \n\n\n# Developing Thoughts on Truth and Trust # \nToday, if I could, I would get my adulting done and then make time for a long lunch and I would call my mom. It often made her sad to hear that I was depressed, so rather than lie to her, I would make a point to tell her the good things going on. I would tell her accomplishments that my kids had made, I would discuss loose plans for the future, I would make a point to tell her about my hobbies, and I would create this happy existence, and share it with her. Granted, when times were tough, I would tell her the truth. She was the first person I called when I found out my husband of 15 years had suddenly left the boys and me, instead choosing to move in with another woman. She was the last person I called when I met Brian, because I was so scared he was the one for me... but the timing was off. She was a force to be reckoned with and I never realized how draining it must have been, keeping me up all those years. I never realized how hard parenting was until I lost my mother. That is a dark alley, I don't need to go down right now... \n\n## Private Thoughts - Semi-Public Forum ## \n\nIt occurred to me yesterday, I am on a precipice. I really need to figure out functioning. I need to be writing. I need the shit, even if it is boring or dumb or whatever... I need it out in the open. Why doesn't it work, writing privately for me?  I wonder if anyone else is like this too? Is there anyone out there that finds writing in a journal or private diary, almost silly? With no feedback, there is no real purpose for me, in writing. I am not seeing a story of my life... trust me... I am not that interesting. Rather, I am seeking to understand. I am feeling disconnected, and I don't know... here seems safe enough.",
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      "body": "Honestly, I don't get on here much. I like to read other people's things from time to time... but life has been too hectic to keep up on everything as of late. I came on today to look around and I searched for a few people that I used to follow. I then started looking at news and one thing struck me as odd. \n\nThere is no mention of #covid on here. No #corona? \n\nStrange... \n\nAm I doing something wrong? What am I missing? \n\nWhen I looked up the word corona, I found old posts about the beer but not about current events. \n\nWhat's the deal with that?",
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      "memo": "Hi @rumdancer. STEEM blockchain is recovering a hostile takeover. Details: https://cointelegraph.com/news/steem-community-stands-its-ground-amid-tron-takeover. Community is fighting back to put community witnesses back to the top20. I see you have free witness vote slots, please vote for our community witnesses. https://steemd.com/witnesses page highlights sockpuppet witnesses, we should ignore them and push the human witnesses in top50. That being said, I was also a consensus witness before takeover, here is a quick link to vote for my witness: https://app.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=emrebeyler&approve=1"
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