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      "body": "Congratulations @roots-and-wings! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@roots-and-wings/birthday2.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@roots-and-wings) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=roots-and-wings)_</sub>\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/steemitboard-ranking-update-a-better-rich-list-comparator\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmfRVpHQhLDhnjDtqck8GPv9NPvNKPfMsDaAFDE1D9Er2Z/header_ranking.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/steemitboard-ranking-update-a-better-rich-list-comparator\">SteemitBoard Ranking update - A better rich list comparator</a></td></tr></table>\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "body": "https://s9.postimg.org/4ujpgcqwv/Done_Sunset.photo.jpg \nPhoto Credit: Pinterest\n\n\nAre you done with being asked why you're single, as if it's a bad thing, as if you're not enough on your own? Are you done with answering to social expectations, or having people reassure you there's nothing wrong with you, even when you didn't imply that there was?\n\nI'm done with dating. It's a circus I ran away with many moons ago. 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I've got the kaftan, the harem-pants, the whole damn wardrobe, and I'm done wearing it all - I'm donating...\n\nBecause there are infinite causes crying out for love, way worthier than the empire of your ego, and I'll be soiling my hands for better purposes now. I'll be digging a well to unearth whatever it is, deep down, that *must* be wrong in me to have attracted all of you...\n\nI'm not bitter - I glean moments of joy from many of these memories. I'm not a man-hater - half of my friends are men, whom I love. I'm not perfect - I had my parts to play, I acted like it was okay when it wasn't, and I'm done with that stage now - I'm *so* done...\n\n...But for one final thing...\n\nIf you encourage success, and not be threatened by it; if you want an equal, not an inferior, if you're kind, not just critical, if you care, not control, if you give, not just take, if you're a man, not a boy, then by all means, step forward - because I won't be out looking for you, not anymore...\n\nOtherwise, I'm stronger single, better off alone. I know who I am and where I stand, and it's taken being broken to find my way back to the bare truth, to reclaim my wholeness, as I do now.\n\nSo don't ask me why I'm single, as if it's a shortcoming. Not when I have come such a long way...\n\nI've helped others through their worst times, yet when my own world crumbled and I lost everything – the one time I really required a partner – I walked through the wreckage of my life, without one.\n\n*I'm done* makes way for many new *I am's*: I'm boundless, I'm free, I'm self-respecting and I'm grateful. For all the lessons. For the clarity. For the fresh landscapes of *Single by Choice* ... so far beyond the circus.\n\n[Excerpt: *Ali's Awakening* ~ from Kate's upcoming novel, *Tribe 35*, in development].",
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      "body": "https://s14.postimg.org/wk5jsqtk1/Done_Sunset.photo.jpg \nPhoto Credit: Pinterest \n\n\n\n\nAre you done with being asked why you're single, as if it's a bad thing, as if you're not enough on your own? Are you done with answering to social expectations, or having people reassure you there's nothing wrong with you, even when you didn't imply that there was? \n\nI'm done with dating. It's a circus I ran away with many moons ago. 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      "title": "I'm Done with the Circus: I'm Single by Choice.",
      "body": "https://s14.postimg.org/wk5jsqtk1/Done_Sunset.photo.jpg\n\n\n\nAre you done with being asked why you're single, as if it's a bad thing, as if you're not enough on your own? Are you done with answering to social expectations, or having people reassure you there's nothing wrong with you, even when you didn't imply that there was? \n\nI'm done with dating. It's a circus I ran away with many moons ago. Now, as I return to myself – to all the parts I've neglected - here's a message to the myriad males I met in the madness, and why I'm choosing – yes choosing - to be single... \n\n*I'm done.* \n\nI'm done having my kindness mistaken for weakness, having my generosity used against me. \nI'm done feeling used for sex, security, shelter, resources, counsel, or as a thrill, a chase, a challenge, a boost or a bit of fun...\n\nI'm done  with you being there for the good times, then gone when I need you.\nI'm done bending over backwards and jumping through hoops...\n\nI'm done shrinking my accomplishments so as not to intimidate you, or, aggrandizing them in order to feel worthy. \nI'm done with that whole hall of mirrors, that tightrope I made myself walk, time after time...\n\nI'm done hiding my vastness of life experience so that you don't feel insecure. \nI'm done smiling and pretending and playing small so you can take center-stage... \n\nI'm done with your serenades, your sweet-talk, your feigned heartfelt words, your pretty lies and empty promises all to try to get what you want. \nI'm done with all your tricks that work on teenage girls who haven't seen through your illusions yet...\n\nI'm done being swept off my feet, only to be dropped, depending on your desires and your options.\nI'm done having my heart opened up, then having to try to close it down... \n\nI'm done with the words, *\"We need to talk\", \"I can't commit\", \"I'm confused\", \"It's not you - it's me\"...*\nI'm done being labeled *Warrioress, Saviouress*, and *'strong enough to take it'*, as if that excuses your shitty, self-serving deeds...\n\nI'm done being there for you to mess up and make your mistakes on, teaching you how to love before you go off and love somebody else. \nI'm done with your social media posts, displaying how easily you move on, then you crawling back after it all goes wrong, asking for another chance...\n\nI'm done being your bright *'beacon of light'*  here to save you or to show up your shadow-side, with you projecting your darkness, your woundedness and all your unresolved issues onto me. \nI'm done with you trying to steal my sunshine, snuff my flame and dull my spark... \n\nI'm done with drama, deceit, mind-games, addictions, with power-struggles, paranoia, possession, and put-me-downs, with violence, jealousy, death-stares, clenched fists and punched walls. \nI'm done proving my integrity when it was your own integrity you smashed to pieces... \n\nI'm done being another pretty ribbon marking your journey, when I've already reached the end of my road. \nI'm done with your immaturity, of waiting and hoping for you to grow up, to catch up...  \n\nI'm done with magazine-dreams, media and fairytales force-feeding fallacies. \nI'm done with fortune-tellers, self-proclaimed psychics and platitudes I never sought, telling me *\"he's just around the corner\"*; I've been turning corners to dead-ends for decades... \n\nI'm done with the limiting belief that a life-partner will rescue me, complete me and make me happy - doing disservice to the life that already is. \nI'm done sacrificing the beauty of the present for the fantasy of a future that may not exist...\n\nI'm done being on the lookout for love, while travelling, festivalling, exploring - never feeling like the experience is all that it could be, that something is missing, that I'm unfulfilled and wasting away. \nI'm done wasting my energy and time...\n\nI'm done starving on crumbs of affection and scraps of attention, which only exacerbate my hunger. \nI'm done with candyfloss flings that dissolve to nothing and fireworks that fizzle leaving a gaping dark void I wasn't aware was there before... \n\nI'm done with spiritual-bypassing, new-age clauses, cliches and waivers – I've heard them all, seen them all, been there and got the (tie-dye) T-shirt. I've got the kaftan, the harem-pants, the whole damn wardrobe and it's all out of date; I'm done wearing it all; I'm donating...\n\nBecause there are infinite causes crying out for love, way worthier than the empire of your ego, and I'll be soiling my hands for better purposes now. I'll be digging a well to unearth that thing, deep down, that must be wrong in me to have attracted all of you.\n\nI'm not bitter - I glean moments of joy from many of these memories. I'm not a man-hater - half of my friends are men, whom I love. I'm not perfect - I had my parts to play, I acted like it was okay when it wasn't, and I'm done with that stage now. I'm so done. \n\n...But for one final thing...\n\nIf you encourage success, and not be threatened by it; if you want an equal, not an inferior, if you're kind, not just critical, if you care, not control, if you give, not just take, if you're a man, not a boy, then by all means, step forward. Because I won't be out looking for you, not anymore, and I may be too far gone to even be interested...\n\nOtherwise, I'm stronger single, better off alone. I know who I am and where I stand, and it's taken  being broken to find my way back to the bare truth, to reclaim my wholeness, as I do now.  \n\nSo don't ask me why I'm single, as if it's a shortcoming. Not when I have come such a long way... \n\nI've helped others through their worst times, yet when my own world crumbled and I lost everything – the one time I really required a partner – I walked through the wreckage of my life, without one.\n\nI am done makes way for new *I am's*: I am single. I am free. I am self-respecting and I am grateful. For all the lessons. For the clarity. For the fresh landscapes of single by choice, far beyond the circus. \n\n\n[*Ali's Awakening* ~ A sample chapter from my new Book, *TRIBE 35*, currently in development. **With Love, Kate Sundara**}.",
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      "body": "Happy to hear that! Looking forward to your comments! :)",
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      "body": "Nice intro, I appreciate your honest tone and share some of your initial impressions, concerns and curiosity. Look forward to reading more from you on here! :-)",
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      "title": "“Whoooo are you?”  Writers in Wonderland: How do you find your blogging voice?",
      "body": "https://s14.postimg.org/k7od36spt/Alice_Archetype.jpg\nPhoto Credit: Flickr, Creative Commons\n\n\n*'Whoooo are you?' the Caterpillar asked Alice.\nAlice replied, rather shyly, 'I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then... Being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing...'*\n\nAlice isn't the only one who's confused about who they are. Personally, I think this is why so many people struggle to find their voice when they start blogging or writing a book: they don't quite know **who** they're supposed to be!\n\n\"Just be yourself\", people advise. Sounds easy enough, but is it?  Who *is* your so-called self? Are any of us only ourselves? Or are we multidimensional beings – many people within one person? I believe that to be true...  With so many aspects to our personalities, how do we choose from the countless characters inside of us? It can leave us in a Wonderland of indecision and overwhelm, trying to weigh it all up, our muddled mind quarreling with itself like Tweedledum and Tweedledee...\n\nIt took me years of experimenting to find my voice while writing my debut novel, *The United States of Us.* As it turned out, my strongest style was writing from the perspective of a young man on *the other side*.  Since completing that book and beginning to blog, this requires a different voice from me once more...\n\nWhen talking with other writers, it's one the biggest creative quandaries we face. What tone should we use? Which tense? Who's point of view? What angle should we come at it? Which aspect of our personality should speak for us? What's our style? Are we the expert, the rambler, the ranter, the muser, the comic, the provocateur, the story-teller, the diarist, the best friend, the inquirer or the critic? Maybe we want to play around and switch up our voices with each new post? Should we try to carve out our own steadfast identity, or be free to try out all sorts of different 'hats'?  \n\nSpeaking of hats, I reference *Alice in Wonderland* because it is a story filled with colourful archetypes: the crazy one (Mad Hatter) the fearsome one (Queen of Hearts), the curious one (Alice), the lazy one (Caterpillar), the neurotic one (White Rabbit), the cunning one (Cheshire Cat) and so on... All of these archetypes are identifiable from an early age when many of us are introduced to this wonderful story... \n\nEach of us has an inner child who loves to rummage through the dressing-up box and try on all kinds of costumes, to step out of our usual roles in life and play another part. We only have to watch a bunch of kids performing make-believe to see how naturally they conjure up characters, calling on the bossier, stroppier or sillier sides of themselves. All those characters are still inside us as adults, indeed, I think they multiply the more we journey through life. Yet society teaches us to restrain our multiple-personalities, to squash them down and streamline them into one neat little identity, complete with label and status and National Insurance number…\n\nPerhaps you crave to break out of the role you play, day-to-day, and explore other aspects of yourself, and online platforms like **Steemit** offer us an open stage to do this...\n\n**Conclusion:** \n\nIf you're feeling stuck, or self-critical or procrastinating about blogging, as I often am due to perfectionist tendencies, I highly recommend Elizabeth Gilbert's book, *Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear*. As Gilbert writes:\n\n> *I think perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat, pretending to be elegant when actually it's just terrified. Because underneath that shiny veneer, perfectionism is nothing more that a deep existential angst the says, again and again, 'I am not good enough and I will never be good enough...'*\n\nWe need to get out of our heads and into our hearts, and enjoy exploring all the voices of our imagination until we find our best fit...\n\nBe playful. B open to experimenting. Be willing to give drafts to your friends and embrace honest feedback. Be authentic. Be as *curious* as Alice, because, to quote *Big Magic* again, creativity is all about *'living a life that is driven more strongly by curiosity than by fear.'*\n\nIn this spirit of curiosity, I pose some questions to my fellow Steemers: How did *you* find your writing voice? Are you still trying to find it? Any tips and tricks that have been helpful to you? \n\n**By Kate Sundara @roots-and-wings**",
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      "body": "https://s14.postimg.org/k7od36spt/Alice_Archetype.jpg\nPhoto Credit: Flickr, Creative Commons\n\n\n*Whoooo are you? The Caterpillar asked Alice.\nAlice replied, rather shyly, 'I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then... Being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing...'*\n\nAlice isn't the only one who's confused about who they are. Personally, I think this is why so many people struggle to find their voice when they start blogging or writing a book: they don't quite know **who** they're supposed to be!\n\n\"Just be yourself\", people advise. Sounds easy enough, but is it?  Who *is* your so-called self? Are any of us only ourselves? Or are we multidimensional beings – many people within one person? I believe that to be true...  With so many aspects to our personalities, how do we choose from the countless characters inside of us? It can leave us in a Wonderland of indecision and overwhelm, trying to weigh it all up, our muddled mind quarreling with itself like Tweedledum and Tweedledee...\n\nIt took me years of experimenting to find my voice while writing my debut novel, *The United States of Us*, and blogging requires a different voice from me once more...\n\nWhen talking with other writers, it's one the biggest creative quandaries we face. What tone should we use? Which tense? Who's point of view? What angle should we come at it? Which aspect of our personality should speak for us? What's our style? Are we the expert, the rambler, the ranter, the muser, the comic, the provocateur, the story-teller, the diarist, the best friend, the inquirer or the critic? Maybe we want to play around and switch up our voices with each new post? Should we try to carve out our own steadfast identity, or be free to try out all sorts of different 'hats'?  \n\nSpeaking of hats and hatters, I reference *Alice in Wonderland* because it is a story filled with colourful archetypes: the crazy one (Mad Hatter) the fearsome one (Queen of Hearts), the curious one (Alice), the lazy one (Caterpillar), the neurotic one (White Rabbit), the cunning one (Cheshire Cat) and so on... All of these archetypes are identifiable from an early age when many of us are introduced to this wonderful story... \n\nEach of us has an inner child who loves to rummage through the dressing-up box and try on all kinds of costumes, to step out of our usual roles in life and play another part. We only have to watch a bunch of kids performing make-believe to see how naturally they conjure up characters, calling on the bossier, stroppier or sillier sides of themselves. All those characters are still inside us as adults, indeed, I think they multiply the more we journey through life. Yet society teaches us to restrain our multiple-personalities, to squash them down and streamline them into one neat little identity, complete with label and status and National Insurance number…\n\nPerhaps you, like so many, crave to break out of the role you play, day-to-day, and explore other aspects of yourself, and online platforms like **Steemit** offer us a stage to do this...\n\n**Conclusion:** \n\nIf you're feeling stuck, or self-critical or procrastinating about blogging, as I often am due to perfectionist tendencies, I highly recommend Elizabeth Gilbert's book, *Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear*. As Gilbert writes:\n\n*“I think perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat, pretending to be elegant when actually it's just terrified. Because underneath that shiny veneer, perfectionism is nothing more that a deep existential angst the says, again and again, 'I am not good enough and I will never be good enough.”*\n\nWe need to get out of our heads and into our hearts...\n\nBe playful, be open to experimenting, be willing to give drafts to your friends and embrace honest feedback. Be as curious as Alice, because, to quote Big Magic again, creativity is all about *'Living a life that is driven more strongly by curiosity than by fear.'*\n\nEnjoy exploring all the voices of your imagination until you find the fit that's best for you.\n\nIn this spirit of curiosity, I pose some questions to my fellow Steemers: How did *you* find your writing voice? Are you still trying to find it? Any tips and tricks that have been helpful to you? \n\n**By Kate Sundara @roots-and-wings**",
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