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      "permlink": "aku-merindukan-sebuah-masa-f2d946b9028f6",
      "title": "Aku merindukan sebuah masa...",
      "body": "Saat aku memiliki semua keberanian untuk mengungkapkan apa yang ingin aku ungkapkan dan katakan. Untuk mewujudkan semua impian dan cita-cita yang ingin kuwujudkan dalam perjalanan kehidupan ini. Aku ingin mengembalikan semua yang pernah hilang itu di dalam diri. \n\nKehilangan terbesar bukanlah pada saat kau kehilangan harta atau seseorang, tetapi kehilangan terbesar adalah saat kau \"KEHILANGAN DIRIMU\". \n\nUntuk itu, aku berterima kasih kepada semua anak-anak One Earth School yang saat ini tengah berjalan dan belajar bersamaku. Terima kasih karena telah menginspirasi dan mengembalikan semua yang pernah hilang di dalam diri ini. Terima kasih telah membuatku menjadi diri yang pernah aku kenal dahulu. Terima kasih telah mengembalikan semua keberanian itu. Rasanya sangat melegakan bisa mengatakan apa yang harus aku katakan. \n\nDear Children, I owe you a lot. I love you all\n\n ![image](https://img.esteem.ws/3vngy9ue2x.jpg)",
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      "body": "Ketika sepasang mata bertemu dengan sepasang mata lainnya dari kepala yang berbeda jenis kelamin akankah selalu lahir sebuah perasaan cinta setelahnya. Apakah bila kita teringat kepada seseorang setelah pertemuan yang tidak disengaja itu bisa disebut; rindu. Lalu apabila kita merasa ada yang istimewa dari diri seseorang apa itu namanya; kagum. Dan ketika kita disentuh rasa gundah tatkala melihat seseorang dekat dengan seseorang apa itu yang dikatakan; cemburu. Lantas saat saya merasa rindu, kagum, dan cemburu kepada seseorang apakah saya sedang; jatuh cinta. \n\nPerempuan itu adalah etttsss di sensor. dulu dia pernah cerita tentang kisah cintanya dengan seorang pria, mereka menjalani hubungan yang cukup lama. Tapi hubungan mereka hanya tinggal kenangan, tak seperti yang di harapkan dikarenakan pria itu mencoba untuk menduakan cinta si perempuan itu. Lantas ia mencoba untuk melupakan tapi nyatanya berbanding terbalik, sulit untuk melupakan si pria, bahkan sampai saat ini ia masi menyembunyikan benih-benih cinta untuk sipria.\n\nMungkin baginya pria itulah yang lebih dari segalanya sedangkan saya hanyalah seorang anak muda yang penuh dengan kesederhanaan serta keterbatasan. \nIa juga sering mempertontonkan perilakunya yang membuat saya merasa RESAH lantas bukan untuk melahirkan membenci ataupun amarah tapi menguatkan karena sesungguhnya cinta iyalah mendidik kedewasaan, Bahkan ia pernah berucap tentang sipria itu tanpa sadar menyakitiku; Aku masih cinta dan aku ingin hidup senang. Ucapnya dengan sedikit menundukkan kepala seyara tersenyum. (Mungkin ia lupa kejadian itu). Sial, ternyata dia lebih menyukai kesenangan, hidup berselimut kemewahan dari pada harus memulai semuanya dari nol bersama saya yang hanya bisa memantau dari sudut kejahuan.‎ Sering pula terlintas dalam benakku mungkin takdirku hanya mencintai tak untuk memiliki.\n\nTapi mengapa saya di buat berharap setinggi langit dan akhirnya saya jatuh hingga terpatah-patah tak berdaya. Apa ini adalah sebuah karma??? Bingung \n\nNada gendang terdengar. Suara yang bising mulai meredup seketika hasrat sorotan mata memenuhi setiap sudut panggung itu, Acara pembukaan kegiatan sakral pun dimulai. Pagi itu, aku berdiri di depan pintu masuk sebuah gedung yang berada di bagian belakang sambil menghadap ke arah panggung. Dari sudut kejahuan ini di balik pintu yang menjadi saksi bisu, aku dapat menyoroti panggung itu. Dan di antara mereka juga ada seseorang yang ingin kulihat. Seseorang yang dapat terlihat dengan jelas meskipun jarak antara panggung dengan pintu yang sesekali tertutup dan terbuka ini sangat jauh.\n\nIa adalah seseorang yang diciptakan Allah untuk hadir di kehidupanku. Dan dia juga adalah seseorang yang kini hadir di hatiku. Tidak, seharusnya aku tidak mempunyai perasaan ini. Perasaan yang seharusnya tidak ada dalam hatiku. Perasaan yang seharusnya aku abaikan. Tapi mengapa semuanya menjadi seperti ini? Semakin aku ingin membuangnya, saat itu juga perasaanku padanya semakin dalam. Ya Allah. Apa yang harus aku lakukan? Bukankah perasaanku ini salah? Seharusnya aku tidak menyimpan perasaan padanya. Aku tahu. Dan sangat tahu. Menyimpan rasa kepada lawan jenis pun adalah sebuah dosa. Lalu bagaimana yang terjadi denganku saat ini? Apa aku juga melakukan sebuah dosa? Entahlah. Aku berharap perasaan ini akan menghilang seiring dengan berjalannya waktu lantas akan berujung penyesalan ketika di lewatkan. Bingung\n\nNiatku untuk melihat kegiatan sakral itu sampai selesai, akhirnya aku urungkan. Karna ku melihat sesuatu yang aneh di panggung itu, tak seperti biasa. tak ada sehelai kain menyelimuti kepala yang biasa melambaikan keindahan, mungkin pilihan sehinggah keindahan itu tak terlihat. Dan saat itu lah ia sedikit membuatku kecewa. Tidak, aku tak  boleh merasakan hal yang demikian. Ucapku dalam hati seraya ku tundukkan kepala tuk merenung sejenak sembari menyadari bahwa ku tak punya kapasitas akan hal itu. lalu ku pijakkan kaki tuk berlari menuju parkiran dan sesekali menoleh kekirikanan untuk memastikan tak ada seorangpun yang melihat.\n\nMalampun tiba, ku segera pergi ketempat aku sering mengeluh kesah tentang hal yang terjadi pada diriku yang nampak terlihat kokoh namun menyimpan sesuatu yang mungkin tak seorangpun dapat melaluinya. Di jalan menuju tempat itu, Sesekali terserat dalam benak bahwa ku terlalu menyandarkan harapan pada seseorang yang tak mempunyai perasaan sama sepertiku tanpa menyadari bayanganku saja akan meninggalkanku saat gelap. \nSetiba ditempat biasa aku mengeluh kesah. malam sunyi yang diselimuti dingin nya embun yang tak perlu warna untuk membuat daun melebur kepadanya telah lama menungguku. Dengan kebiasaan aku langsung duduk di bawah pohon jati sambil menatap pulau yang sering disapa pulau karampuang langsung di bawah rembulan yang menyelimuti keindahan serta kepolosan, seakan pulau dan bulan tersenyum lalu melambaikan kerinduan untuk menyambut kedatangan ku, Aku pun tersenyum seraya membalas lambaiannya.\n\nSaat itu lah ku berfikir akankah rasa ini kubiarkan tenggelam bersama senja, ataukah cukup ku biarkan terbawa ombak ke tengah samudra dan membiarkanya kembali menepi ditempat yang berbeda? Tidak. Ia tidak akan berada di tempat yang berbeda. Ia masih sama, berada di ruang hatiku dengan kunci yang sama.\n\n ![image](https://img.esteem.ws/ll9kjyp74k.jpg)\n\nImage source :",
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      "body": "Awal pertemuan, sama sekali tidak memikiki rasa apapun terhadapmu. Cinta masa sekolah saat itu, usia labil yang mulai beranjak dewasa, membuat semuanya hanya seperti permainan. Aku, perempuan yang memiliki banyak cinta ketika itu, dan kau 2 dari 3 bahkan 2 dari 4, bukan, bukan cinta seperti remaja nakal lainnya, hanya sebatas cinta dalam hal komunikasi.\nKau yang ketika itu di kelilingi banyak teman wanita dengan usia dininya, membuatmu tak mampu untuk menjalani hubungan yang serius denganku, lalu entah apa dengan semua kekurangan mu dan yang ku anggap sebagai kelebihan mu itu membuatku begitu teramat sangat menyayangimu. Tapi sayang, cinta kita tidak pernah bertahan lama.\nSeakan semuanya begitu terencana, pertemuan singkat yang mampu menciptakan cinta yang begitu hebat, membuatku lupa bahwa kau dan aku adalah saudara.\nPerjalanan cinta yang begitu melelahkan, perpisahan yang meninggalkan luka yang mendalam, kehadiran orang ketiga yang terkadang membuatmu lupa akan diriku, tapi entahlah, hal apa yang begitu membuatku tak pernah bisa melupaknmu.\n\nSetelah sekian lama menanti, bukan hitungan bulan  tetapi hitungan tahun, aku yang tetap mencintaimu seperti biasa dengan bahagia menrima kehadiranmu kembali, bahagia, bahagia yang begitu luar biasa yang kudapati seakan aku tak mempunyai problema hidup.\nAwal pertama memulai ulang semuanya dari awal masih terasa sangat baik dan indah, tetapi hal itu tak berlangsung lama, sesuatu hal terjadi, hal yang tak pernah terfikirkan sebelumnya oleh ku, hal yang begitu menakutkan bagi kami, bagaimana tidak ketika itu usia kami masih terpaut sangat muda.\n\nCinta yang tak di restui, begitu menyakitkan dan teramat sangat menyedihkan, entah itu takdir atau hanya kesalahan kami dalam melangkah, yang jelas kami bisa apa dengan usia semuda itu, aku seorang wanita dengan pemikiran labil dan dia lelaki dengan mental perempuannya dia begitu lemah dalam hal perasaan, perjuangan yang begitu  melelahkan, seakan semuanya tiada akhir, tangisan yang tak kunjung mereda, emosi yang tak pernah terhenti, bahakan perpecahan keluarga, membuat batin ini begitu tersiksa \nTetapi entah apa, dibalik semua sakit dan perinhya hal itu, kami mampu bertahan dan mau berjuang, apa yang sebenarnya patut untuk di perjuangkan, cinta. Entah kami yang terlalu egois atau orang tua yang punya hati.\nKisah itu, bukan hanya sekedar tangisan kepedihan, ada kebahagiaan disana dibalik kerasnya perjuangan, kisah yang melibatkan banyak orang, dan pada akhirnya kami gagal, tetapi semua tidak berakhir, kami masih bersama dan dengan harapan bisa bersatu nantinya dan bersama sampai akhir hayat.\n\nDan ini hanyalah cerita singkat dari semua pengalaman yang terjadi.\n\n ![image](https://img.esteem.ws/hg6vrz7fhy.jpg)\nImage source:",
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