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      "body": "@@ -106,16 +106,24 @@\n  Bernard\n+ Poolman\n . The po\n",
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      "body": "I am having amazing realizations at this moment in my mind in this body, thanks to a book I am reading of Bernard. The point, the idea, that triggered it, thanks to the words of Bernard is: When you die, you face absolutely everything you consist of, and you go back to your honest equal and one state of being, this means that self-forgiveness for the entire life is the way of life. This means that I will literally die, because everything of me, will face the abuse. And it just looks so clear to me. When we die, what dies is the abuse. I don’t fully understand this, I can not create the exact words to express it, but it really feels like real and certain, everything that dies consists on abuse. What I feel at this pont is, WHY DO I CONSIST ON ABUSE? Is this… maybe the abuse?\n\nAll life exists equally, all life is one. What I feel is… everything exists! Without me! I am here to abuse! I am the same with or without me, so why was I brought here? What is my purpose? My purpose is to abuse more. If I think about it, if I say how exactly I created every single part of my mind, from where was it created? From irresponsability. I really doubt I can find a point in my mind that was created with the purpose of keeping things equal, it’s just not the way it works. I am here to abuse, am I not? Why would I deny? Why would I deffend the abuse? Because I am used to deffend that which is not life, because I accepted it so everyone else did. This plane of this existence, is everything of it made of this? It is, because, for what other reason would it exist? Only if your starting point is of abuse you can deffend it. Do you know why this is hard to accept? Do you really know? This life is less than life, I mean this human world, because that is what live becomes when you are borned in here. And when you come here if you become the world, you accept the abuse. So it is like a challence isn’t it? Because if you are you you will not accept it in this life. But who accepts it? Is that us aswell? It is, it must be a part of us. Because now is the only moment to stand for myself and be honest, what am I at this moment?\n\nMaybe life on earth is a proof? For you to see who would you be if you could be tested? Because in the dymentions as frecuencies you can’t really be tested, or I don’t know, maybe you can, but this life is certainly a big way to test you. Who would you be with mind systems? And energies? And a complete design? Would you be yourself then? If you can forget yourself, are you yourself? The point is that, now, this moment, is a moment of accumulated consecuence of the past, and all of it originated from the point where we were in this life and we did the choice of, I am going to believe myself, I am going to abuse. In a certain way, this live feels like a test. And it’s a very tricky curious test. Because you are going to get identified with something, that is going to abuse and later is going to die. And you are going to do it all yourself. If you are the one making the choice of becoming that, who are you? Can you remember now? Are you going to remember now? We could not forget ourselves even if we wanted to, that’s how tricky it is.\n\nThis in some way feels hard to explain, like if I was just tired and this is something uncool and hard to talk about. I have honest consistent points that reaffirm myself, for example, I remember exactly the points where as I child I abused myself and accept it and continued it since then. I just, never thought, that I could be tested in a so honest way. Never thought I would have to answer for myself. What I want to say is, I know the points that built my life in this mind, they were based on so much abuse in so many different forms. Why didn’t I have the ability to not abuse myself? I don’t know! But now, I am going to develop it! The ability to “enjoy” life, without abusing it, is that possible? Yes it is! I just think that I won’t need to answer in a honest way if I simply abuse it. But I will! And I remember these points as a child! And I don’t even know how to really explain all of this! I felt the abuse I was becoming!! And I remember it, and this is my gift in this life, or simply myself, whatever you want to name it as, I know and I remember exactly what I did because I could not simply pretend that I was not doing it, because nobody can pretend! Pretend is something that doesn’t even exist, do you think you can simply stop being who you are? You can’t! You can only abuse it!! Omg, this last sentence literally, has made a sooooo long journey to arrive to this blog at this moment. I am the continued abuse of dishonesty, and what I do is take energy experiences and believe that that is my honesty, and that is nothing but a way of feeling good and justifing my “honesty” like that. What is my honesty? Can I really explain it? Who is talking now? And now just, there is silence, because I simply, anything I say is going to come from the same, I just want this honesty, this very message, to become myself, and I want to let it there, until I can stand for it infinitelly. I have questions, a lot, about all of this. Do you know from where do this questions come from? From the same points of abuse. There is really not a logical answer for this, in fact what the hell is logic, what a word. The answer for me is to become these words, and nothing else, for now.\n\nWhy do we think that abuse can not take place in our minds? When it is the only place where that happens?? Do you want to know why? To allow it!! What a game. And then, you keep your mind to yourself, it’s your secret, and you neeeever talk about it, you live completely in an alternate reality that simply transforms the abuse into something that looks normal for this shitty fake world, it goes for so many filters for you to voice something, because inner reality is only for yourseeeelf to abuseeee, but you will never accept it because, for what? To be self-honest?? For what??? And also, the world is there to protect you, the world supports evil!! The world wants you and allow you to be evil! And protects you! How can we accept it??????? How can our life be this? How can we allow it? Who the fuck even are we? Until every human on earth is FULL-OF-SHIT nobody is going to really realize himself. If you want that to happen O-K-A-Y I don’t care but I am not for one single moment taking part of it, ANYMORE!!!!! Not a single breath I am going to waste!!!",
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      "body": "Hello I am just going to explain what I am going in my life. It’s very curious, because since those early ages when I was a very young child and I had a conection in this body that was one and that charged the part between my two eyes to vibrate and I could see and feel things and I knew that the earth was a way of enslaving people to feed the dymentions and that I was enslaved because I didn’t set myself free in the dymentions instead they got me into this life, since then, I have made like a parentheses in my life, in the sense of, I knew I was going to create a lot of shit in my life, so I simply isolated myself, separated myself completely from this world, and yes I ended full of shit, but I mean that shit was in the parentheses, I didn’t really fully became that shit, because the shit was created as a game I am going to play because I know that everything is a lie, and I am not going to give myself to a lie, I am just not going to do it. Yes, I am full of shit, yes I have a lot of work to do. But I mean could have been much worse, I could have forgotten who I am, instead I created a beautiful shitty parentheses, and now I am like, okay my whole life is a lie, I have finally reached that something, I commit myself to follow my process, because my process is myself. I commit myself to recover this body from everything that I have done to it, and I am really sorry Raúl, I just never imagined I would have a chance to remember in this life. I simply gave up, like in every life I suppose. But now there are no excuses, now I don’t accept excuses, I am doing this fully, totally, and until this is done I am not going to move to other thing. This must be done. I have to be oness, as what is best for all, and for me, for equality, for the truth, for the real life of giving life to life, for the suffering and the demons, for everyone and everything existing in this physical world, for me to remember my story. I have to simply clean all the trash I have gathered through the years.\n\nI think this is the most honest point I am going to reach in my writings, the point where I remember I have felt it once I know what it is and I am going to live self-honesty. This is the point where I was, until this is done, and everything is clear, and I have forgiven everything, the rest of my words will come from the same point, and coming from the same point is pointless. So much forgiveness ahead GO GO GO!!\n\nMy writing feels kind of short so I am going to explain my most recent point of self-forgiveness, how I dealt with it.\n\nMy fother came recently to live to my house again, because he and his girlfriend broke up with hate because they no longer feel the energy. So it has been quite a shift, from being absolutely in my process, to having conversations and conversations and he talking like a living parrot-robot. And within this, it has been amazing to see my reactions to his words, his actions, it has been amazing because I have reacted and denied forgiveness, but I didn’t deny it fully, I knew it’s me and I was always in that point, so while I was in that point, I was not able to fully express it in my body, because I myself was entering through automatic reactions to his acctions and words and tonalities, and it has been fascinating to see to what extend I am in some way possesed by him, because I am alone and I am with self-honesty and expanding my awareness and that’s cool but, then my fother comes and I start having reactions and reactions? Who am I then? So it has been really helpfull to forgive myself for this, or at least try it with my wholeness, because from trying in the moment I have learnt how reality words, and how I am going to bring myself to the totality of me. Also at the same time that I was absolutely focused on helping myself, I have been trying to help him and I have seen how his mind is literally stucked in his body and it won’t leave, it has already reached a point of no return. And it was also interesting to forgive myself for the reaction of seeing that I don’t have a fother because he is a product of this world, created by a lot of factors of his life, and within this I have also being able to see what part of himself he really would like to express, and how he is trying. But, anyway, because I saw no solution, I ended up saying to him that yes his death is going to be full of fear, because he is fear, because that is fine, because he will be free from it finally, and that I don’t really like that he becomes free and then he see what he could  have done in his life to share his life with his 3 children, but it’s his choice for not forgiving himself, because deep inside he prefers to be selfish. And then I said to him (because he no longer see my brother and sister because they hate him, I am the only one unconditionally supporting him) that I am taking care of my brother and sister, and that I am doing EVEN better than him, so he can be relaxed that they are going to be fine if he really loves them so much.\n\nSo, thanks to this situation I am learning who I am, how to remain stable, and who is my fother. I have no fear to support this world, thanks!",
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      "body": "@@ -1,424 +1,4 @@\n-Hello, this is Ra%C3%BAl. I have a blog which is https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com and I share there my process of bringing my true expression, and stopping the mind forever. I will share here my latest post, you can go into my blog to see the previous posts, some of them are cool, I talk about memories I have before being borned, moments of inspiration, mind constructs...%0A%0ADay 43 %E2%80%93 How to really controll your life%0A%0A\n I ha\n",
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      "body": "I am having amazing realizations at this moment in my mind in this body, thanks to a book I am reading of Bernard. The point, the idea, that triggered it, thanks to the words of Bernard is: When you die, you face absolutely everything you consist of, and you go back to your honest equal and one state of being, this means that self-forgiveness for the entire life is the way of life. This means that I will literally die, because everything of me, will face the abuse. And it just looks so clear to me. When we die, what dies is the abuse. I don’t fully understand this, I can not create the exact words to express it, but it really feels like real and certain, everything that dies consists on abuse. What I feel at this pont is, WHY DO I CONSIST ON ABUSE? Is this… maybe the abuse?\n\nAll life exists equally, all life is one. What I feel is… everything exists! Without me! I am here to abuse! I am the same with or without me, so why was I brought here? What is my purpose? My purpose is to abuse more. If I think about it, if I say how exactly I created every single part of my mind, from where was it created? From irresponsability. I really doubt I can find a point in my mind that was created with the purpose of keeping things equal, it’s just not the way it works. I am here to abuse, am I not? Why would I deny? Why would I deffend the abuse? Because I am used to deffend that which is not life, because I accepted it so everyone else did. This plane of this existence, is everything of it made of this? It is, because, for what other reason would it exist? Only if your starting point is of abuse you can deffend it. Do you know why this is hard to accept? Do you really know? This life is less than life, I mean this human world, because that is what live becomes when you are borned in here. And when you come here if you become the world, you accept the abuse. So it is like a challence isn’t it? Because if you are you you will not accept it in this life. But who accepts it? Is that us aswell? It is, it must be a part of us. Because now is the only moment to stand for myself and be honest, what am I at this moment?\n\nMaybe life on earth is a proof? For you to see who would you be if you could be tested? Because in the dymentions as frecuencies you can’t really be tested, or I don’t know, maybe you can, but this life is certainly a big way to test you. Who would you be with mind systems? And energies? And a complete design? Would you be yourself then? If you can forget yourself, are you yourself? The point is that, now, this moment, is a moment of accumulated consecuence of the past, and all of it originated from the point where we were in this life and we did the choice of, I am going to believe myself, I am going to abuse. In a certain way, this live feels like a test. And it’s a very tricky curious test. Because you are going to get identified with something, that is going to abuse and later is going to die. And you are going to do it all yourself. If you are the one making the choice of becoming that, who are you? Can you remember now? Are you going to remember now? We could not forget ourselves even if we wanted to, that’s how tricky it is.\n\nThis in some way feels hard to explain, like if I was just tired and this is something uncool and hard to talk about. I have honest consistent points that reaffirm myself, for example, I remember exactly the points where as I child I abused myself and accept it and continued it since then. I just, never thought, that I could be tested in a so honest way. Never thought I would have to answer for myself. What I want to say is, I know the points that built my life in this mind, they were based on so much abuse in so many different forms. Why didn’t I have the ability to not abuse myself? I don’t know! But now, I am going to develop it! The ability to “enjoy” life, without abusing it, is that possible? Yes it is! I just think that I won’t need to answer in a honest way if I simply abuse it. But I will! And I remember these points as a child! And I don’t even know how to really explain all of this! I felt the abuse I was becoming!! And I remember it, and this is my gift in this life, or simply myself, whatever you want to name it as, I know and I remember exactly what I did because I could not simply pretend that I was not doing it, because nobody can pretend! Pretend is something that doesn’t even exist, do you think you can simply stop being who you are? You can’t! You can only abuse it!! Omg, this last sentence literally, has made a sooooo long journey to arrive to this blog at this moment. I am the continued abuse of dishonesty, and what I do is take energy experiences and believe that that is my honesty, and that is nothing but a way of feeling good and justifing my “honesty” like that. What is my honesty? Can I really explain it? Who is talking now? And now just, there is silence, because I simply, anything I say is going to come from the same, I just want this honesty, this very message, to become myself, and I want to let it there, until I can stand for it infinitelly. I have questions, a lot, about all of this. Do you know from where do this questions come from? From the same points of abuse. There is really not a logical answer for this, in fact what the hell is logic, what a word. The answer for me is to become these words, and nothing else, for now.\n\nWhy do we think that abuse can not take place in our minds? When it is the only place where that happens?? Do you want to know why? To allow it!! What a game. And then, you keep your mind to yourself, it’s your secret, and you neeeever talk about it, you live completely in an alternate reality that simply transforms the abuse into something that looks normal for this shitty fake world, it goes for so many filters for you to voice something, because inner reality is only for yourseeeelf to abuseeee, but you will never accept it because, for what? To be self-honest?? For what??? And also, the world is there to protect you, the world supports evil!! The world wants you and allow you to be evil! And protects you! How can we accept it??????? How can our life be this? How can we allow it? Who the fuck even are we? Until every human on earth is FULL-OF-SHIT nobody is going to really realize himself. If you want that to happen O-K-A-Y I don’t care but I am not for one single moment taking part of it, ANYMORE!!!!! Not a single breath I am going to waste!!!",
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      "body": "Hello I am just going to explain what I am going in my life. It’s very curious, because since those early ages when I was a very young child and I had a conection in this body that was one and that charged the part between my two eyes to vibrate and I could see and feel things and I knew that the earth was a way of enslaving people to feed the dymentions and that I was enslaved because I didn’t set myself free in the dymentions instead they got me into this life, since then, I have made like a parentheses in my life, in the sense of, I knew I was going to create a lot of shit in my life, so I simply isolated myself, separated myself completely from this world, and yes I ended full of shit, but I mean that shit was in the parentheses, I didn’t really fully became that shit, because the shit was created as a game I am going to play because I know that everything is a lie, and I am not going to give myself to a lie, I am just not going to do it. Yes, I am full of shit, yes I have a lot of work to do. But I mean could have been much worse, I could have forgotten who I am, instead I created a beautiful shitty parentheses, and now I am like, okay my whole life is a lie, I have finally reached that something, I commit myself to follow my process, because my process is myself. I commit myself to recover this body from everything that I have done to it, and I am really sorry Raúl, I just never imagined I would have a chance to remember in this life. I simply gave up, like in every life I suppose. But now there are no excuses, now I don’t accept excuses, I am doing this fully, totally, and until this is done I am not going to move to other thing. This must be done. I have to be oness, as what is best for all, and for me, for equality, for the truth, for the real life of giving life to life, for the suffering and the demons, for everyone and everything existing in this physical world, for me to remember my story. 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And within this, it has been amazing to see my reactions to his words, his actions, it has been amazing because I have reacted and denied forgiveness, but I didn’t deny it fully, I knew it’s me and I was always in that point, so while I was in that point, I was not able to fully express it in my body, because I myself was entering through automatic reactions to his acctions and words and tonalities, and it has been fascinating to see to what extend I am in some way possesed by him, because I am alone and I am with self-honesty and expanding my awareness and that’s cool but, then my fother comes and I start having reactions and reactions? Who am I then? So it has been really helpfull to forgive myself for this, or at least try it with my wholeness, because from trying in the moment I have learnt how reality words, and how I am going to bring myself to the totality of me. 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      "body": "<html>\n<p>Congratulations <a href=\"/@raulherrada\" target=\"_blank\">@raulherrada</a>, you have decided to take the next big step with your first post! The Steem Network Team wishes you a great time among this awesome community.</p>\n<hr>\n<div class=\"pull-left\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/DQmaAdLUJ3yaSkmcmWECWyPGPWcjfbCoZ8Tu4RM6H4DbjCi/steem-network-thumbs-up.gif\" alt=\"Thumbs up for Steem Network´s strategy\" title=\"I suggest Steem Network´s strategy\" width=\"320\" height=\"222\"></div>\n<h1>The proven road to boost your personal success in this amazing Steem Network</h1>\n<p>Do you already know that <a href=\"/@originalworks\" target=\"_blank\">@originalworks</a> will get great profits by following these <a href=\"/steem-network/@steem-network/spread-your-posts-through-this-proven-strategy-and-get-great-profits-in-return--for-posts-created-at-2017-12-29\" target=\"_blank\" alt=\"Steem Network\" title=\"Follow Steem Network´s suggestions to boost your success\">simple steps</a>, that have been worked out by experts?</p>\n</html>",
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      "body": "Hello, this is Raúl. I have a blog which is https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com and I share there my process of bringing my true expression, and stopping the mind forever. I will share here my latest post, you can go into my blog to see the previous posts, some of them are cool, I talk about memories I have before being borned, moments of inspiration, mind constructs...\n\nDay 43 – How to really controll your life\n\nI have discovered something amazing. I think it’s the door that I created this mind from. It’s like a point that always repeats inside myself, that leads me to every story I live in my thoughts. That point is not something cool honest and fair like my mind would like to think simply because it’s attached to sucking the resoures of my body through my mind, that point in fact, looks like a wound in my body, everytime something happens it's because I have gone through that wound. I once, had like an experiene where I felt like I was leaving my body, and then I came back because it was too much. Well what I experienced is exactly what I am talking about now, what I experienced was being in my body without entering through that door. What happens is, that that door is what we have become, it’s literally us, being here, so it’s not something simple to notice it. I mean, it’s like if, everytime we choose to active anything that happens as thoughts and reality in our life, it happens through that door, and we are so used to, that even in the process of discovering ourselves, we will find hard to give that up, because we would literally be free like the wind or the water, with no particular shape, and all that we have done in our life is shape and shape and shape and we can’t stop being the shape, because all that we do is for the shape, and if we just could stop that, we would feel very light, literally like if our pressence was being taken out of this body. And that is what we are looking for, to controll our lives, to really know how we work, why we work, for what we work, and who we are.\n\nI am so skilled at this, at pressing the buttom of my mind, it happens without me noticing it, because I am so identified with the buttom, I first want to press it, and then okay I accept anything, but what I find interesting and more difficult is directly not pressing the buttom. What happens after not pressing it, is feeling a relieve, like something you want so much to go, to leave you, but it just seemed impossible, it seemed impossible that you yourself would leave but it’s what you wanted, because what leaves it’s the creation you have done of yourself through the mind, and it doesn’t benefit you, it simply enslave you, I was initially scared, because I am not used to feel so light, but it’s something so healthy, like… finally things are expressed in my life, like the should, without me entirely, they have their own form, and I must respect this, if I want to live, I don’t want to be old pressing the same buttom again and again and again. I want to live totally, fully, and this is exactly what I feel when things are expressed unconditionally, I start going lighter and ligher and I feel like if I was going somewhere, where I am going is to my expression, in this body and in this world, and I am going out of the illution of the mind, and I am not only working with my mind, but with myself, with who I am in every moment of every breath.\n\nSo this is an interesting point to look at, a buttom in your body that looks like a wound that you are attached and identified and that when you start controlling instead of the buttom controlling you, you feel ligher and more expressive and more alive but it’s hard because you would always choose the press the buttom before really understanding what controlling yourself means. Don’t choose the buttom, choose life, don’t have fear lol",
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