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      "body": "![photo-1487059509674-389a7b979022.jpeg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcgUaMy4tsc9q21FGUG1YRhcy5vHMWCfAFQuFs4QKdH9c/photo-1487059509674-389a7b979022.jpeg)\n\n\n《爱的艺术》是美籍德裔社会心理学家艾瑞克·弗洛姆写的，早前在学校的图书馆读到过他的《逃避自由》，当时还不是很理解作者提出的一些观点，而这本相对于《逃避自由》，不管是篇幅还是内容都要通俗易懂一些，文中作者通过宗教，哲学，人类学等等的列子来证明了爱是对人类存在问题的解答这一观点。\n\n1爱是一门艺术吗？\n弗洛姆在本书开头就发问：爱是一门艺术吗？要知道人，在任何一个时代，任何文化中，都面临着同一个问题，都要解决同一个问题：怎样克服分离，怎样实现结合，怎样超越个人的自身生活并找回和谐。而正是爱的诞生，让人类之间有了连接。同时作者也提出，既然是一门艺术，就像音乐，绘画一样需要去学习和探究。\n2爱情产生的原因\n这里书中提出了一个理论：人的存在本质就是半脱离了自然的，或者说是超越了自然的。而这种超越，使人再也无法回归到自然中。\n  在人的生存中，本质的东西恰恰就在于：他已经从动物的王国中，从本能的适应中脱颖而出。虽然他绝不会离开自然，他仍是自然的一部分，但他已经超越了自然，而一旦从自然中挣脱出来，他便不可能返回自然了。人只能通过发展他的理性，通过找到一种新的和谐而向前发展，而不能去追求那个一去不复返的前人类的和谐。\n所谓人类的理性就在于，人具有自我意识，知道自己生不由己，死亦不由己。意识到自己可能会面临先于自己所爱之人死去，意识到面对社会和自然的无能为力。意识到自己是一个分离的实体。而人如果不能从这种分离中解放自己，与他人，与外界结合，他就会产生孤寂感，丧失理性。而正是这种分离的体验，造就了爱产生的原因。所以爱情的产生本质其实是为了克服这种分离。为了脱离一个人的状态，人类找出了各种方式，比如幼年时期把自己看成自然的一部分，完全回归自然。有一部分的人则是通过酒或是毒品，尽管这种方式不能长久。又比如文中例举了远古时期，人们就利用群交的性狂欢仪式来弱化这种分离的痛苦。狂欢的体验之后，人们似乎能有一阵子少受分离之苦，慢慢的，焦虑的压力不断上升，然后通过重复先前的仪式使这种焦虑感再次减少。而只要这种狂欢活动是在一个群体中共同实践的问题，就不会产生负罪感。而现代大部分人是通过一种，与所有人保持一致的方式来实现与他人的结合，这种最后就演化成了政治体或是教派。\n3 成熟的爱与不成熟的爱\n关于不成熟的爱，作者在本文提到了一个观点：共生性融合。共生性融合分为消极形式和积极形式两种，通俗来讲就是受虐狂（顺从）和施虐狂（统治）。其实施受双方是同一种人，都在这种不完整的联合中失去了人的个性。\n而成熟的爱与之相反，它是在保存人的完整性，人的个性条件下的融合。作者在原文中提出：\n爱是一种主动能力，一种突破把人何其同伴分离之围墙的能力，一种使人和他人相结合的能力，爱使他克服了孤独和分离的感觉，但也允许他成为他自己，允许他保持他的完整性。所以，爱是一种主动的活动，而不是一种被动的情感。\n其实读到这里会觉得作者想要阐述的爱更多的是一种博爱。而这种成熟的爱是[分担]而不是[迷恋]。其特征本质上是给予。所以成熟的爱不会使你感觉有束缚，并会让你更爱所有人和这个世界。\n4什么是给予？\n那么什么是给予，这个词的定义其实很模糊。人们普遍会觉得，给予就是[让出]什么东西，代表着被剥削和牺牲。\n作者表示在《为自己的人》一书中表示：一个人的性格如果还没有超越接受取向，剥削取向，或者囤积取向的阶段，他就会以这种方式体验给予这一行为。市场性格愿意给予，但这仅仅是为了换取接受，没有接受的给予对于他来说就是被欺骗。\n有的人则认为给予是牺牲，所以给予代表着[正义]，因为牺牲这一行为就代表着痛苦和更高的道德标准。\n而真正的给予其实是一种生命力，是快乐的。在给予中，我能体会到我的力量，我的财富，我的能力。给予比接受更快乐就在于它并不是一种牺牲，一种被剥削，而是在这一过程中能够让人充分体会到自己活着的实感。\n\n全书作者虽然没有明确指出什么是爱，但却告诉了我们如何正确的去爱。就像全书我最喜欢的一句话：爱是一种产生爱的能力。你只能用爱来交换爱，只能用信任来换取信任。如果你想感化别人，你本身就必须是一个能鼓舞和推动别人前进的人。你跟人和自然的一切关系，都必须是同你意志对象相符合的，你的现实的个人生活的明确表现。",
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      "body": "是啊，原驻互联网居民，荼毒呀\n\nPosted using [Partiko Android](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.partiko.android)",
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      "body": "赞同。在这个浮躁又充满碎片知识的时代，许多人丧失了独立思考的能力。",
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