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      "author": "steemitboard",
      "permlink": "steemitboard-notify-ngtnsm-20191104t095330000z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "Congratulations @ngtnsm! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@ngtnsm/birthday3.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 3 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@ngtnsm) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=ngtnsm)_</sub>\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/steemfest-meet-the-steemians-contest\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmasWw4jQHwxng82DKxY6Q6tVg9mWcto4xcDURs8knFgCa/image.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/steemfest-meet-the-steemians-contest\">SteemFest⁴  - Meet the Steemians Contest</a></td></tr></table>\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "body": "Congratulations @ngtnsm! You have received a personal award!\n\n[![](https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@ngtnsm/birthday2.png)](http://steemitboard.com/@ngtnsm)  2 Years on Steemit\n<sub>_Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor._</sub>\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/the-new-steemfest-award-is-ready\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmeEYkuDHNp3c9dC6Q5s8Wysi8DrXR89FHAFiu5XoQW8Vr/SteemitBoard_header_Krakow2018.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/the-new-steemfest-award-is-ready\">The new Steemfest³ Award is ready!</a></td></tr><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/i06trehc\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://ipfs.io/ipfs/QmU34ZrY632FFKQ1vbrkSM27VcnsjQdtXPynfMrpxDFJcF\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/i06trehc\">Be ready for the next contest!</a></td></tr></table>\n\n> Support [SteemitBoard's project](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)! **[Vote for its witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1)** and **get one more award**!",
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      "memo": "☆ Hi! We are creating one of the first Multichain tokens ever working on ETH, EOS and NEO: 3 in 1. Please check out our project  🔥Ducatur.net🔥 •MVP is ready  •3 Hackathons won  •Softcap Reached 📬 Any questions please feel free to contact me  [email protected] ☆"
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      "body": "beste steemian\nEr is ook een Nederlandstalige steemit/discord community [De Nederlandstalige Alliantie](https://discord.gg/T8Y39) waar u gezellig met andere nederlandstalige steemians kunt kletsen.\nTevens hebben we ook een nederlandstalige helpdesk [infoblok](https://discord.gg/DtY5S) waar u terecht kunt met al je vragen over de steem blockchain.",
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      "author": "ngtnsm",
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      "title": "Work no 8: I led a music mob through my school",
      "body": "![290A8159.JPG](https://steemitimages.com/DQmT68YLNVzCuh8XYH9qYPimhVhba5RUfCtgqYpfpuUUu5m/290A8159.JPG)\n\n![290A8150.JPG](https://steemitimages.com/DQmd4o3k7bt7Cjkk5Kc56bMUXbbbN5Vto8fFJhbh1t9dH4L/290A8150.JPG)\n\n![290A8137.JPG](https://steemitimages.com/DQmQCxpW3B5RWbd1HVyXzPCPhyMkAzx4rE8c96zYh6gmGc2/290A8137.JPG)\n\n![290A8178.JPG](https://steemitimages.com/DQmSHsQiff9c5Up96t4LF5PCvZzP6SyuFL2t7oqagjvwiWk/290A8178.JPG)\n\nAt 2PM on 11th of January my friends and I marched around the school, singing and dancing to popular mostly UK rap tunes. We felt alive, enganged, with eachother, we were a force so to speak. Sofiane, one of my friends, came up to me after the action and said he felt like he was truly himself. To me, I was commenting on claiming space for ourselves to be ourselves. It was about making your own rules, despite how violent and intruding it might seem to the spectator. We are often the ones not claiming space, the apologiser, the ‘okay I’ll go back to where I come from’, the ‘okay, I’ll turn the music down’. For half an hour, we wouldn’t.\n\n![flyer.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmUNK8GbNkKkEid2V2YYjgiG3Y99evaZSakpm47esGr3CM/flyer.jpg)\n\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3--N9WIs7s\n\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVlkiqmB_Ho\n\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wB_EdpDbcRQ\n\n![20180115_020736.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmSanqHcBtFBsYmNaUYV4uk74xbQtWfeMtaS85THCvY9vu/20180115_020736.png)\n\n**Backstory**\nLast Thursday I was part of an exhibition at school called _space.  I had proposed a new work to my colleages during XMAS, which would be a protest karaoke session... BTW - I have stopped speaking about my plans completely with my tutors, I have gone fully autonomous. I realised that I'd be happy to talk to someone when I have done a few works. I think I create minimum of 2 works per month, so a crit every month or so is quite nice. It would inspire the next few works.\n\nAnyway, the karoake session... For a week I was debating what I should do, what format it should have. I knew it was about how music can transform you how you feel, and that it can make you feel comfortable. But I didn't want to intellectualise my intention and try and illustrate what I wanted to express. I thought of having different individuals walk around the school and sing music to themselves (protest songs) while they were listening to it in their headphones (verbatim), but I had a shitty feeling about it. That it would be pretentious. Thankgod I listened to my gut. 1,5 days before, I changed the whole thing: It was going to be a party. \n\nIn the meantime I had convinced 4 people to do the initial karoake session with me. On the day itself, I found a few other people (some of them were in our exhibition) and just told them: the whole idea is that we are going to chill and have fun. That we were going to feel comfortable. At 1.30 pm, I had somehow gathered 10 people. With a laptop I had borrowed from the library and a bose speaker I got for christmas, I slowly started playing songs. We were all vibing to UK rap tunes - J-Hus, Stormzy, Krept and Konan, Lotto Boyz. \n\nAt 2pm, I grabbed the speaker, played the first thing that popped up, which was funnily enough Kevin Little and marched outside to the hallway. Within seconds, we were dancing, singing, parading. The next songs that were going to play were determined by my participants, whiom eloquently thought \"we need a big tune!!!\" Timothy, one of the boys in my class, took the role of the dancer, the hypeman, encouraging others to dance. Some of the girls were responsible for the tunes (we need Big shaq!!!). I was in charge of leading the course of the parade, even though toward the end we were led into the elevator by someone I dont know whoo (which wouldnt go up because we were all jumping too much out of exitement) it was all very funny. \n\nIt was very fast that people had found their role within this music mob and that I had no control over it anymore. It was wonderful. Our two tutors were walking behind us, Nyousha said that one of my tutors 'looked like a proud dad'.\n\nWe ended in the exhibition again, laughing, smiling, hugging each other. In the crit, my tutors spoke about how they experienced it. That interestingly enough, some people must have thought it was quite intimidating, but if they had a closer look it was just people of color having fun, which made it political. My other tutor said that it was as if I had really listened to the criticism he gave before xmas during a crit (that my work is too nice and I should do something that might piss people off), and I said I did! That I thought about it all christmas of what he said. I am very proud that I had listened to him, because usually it takes about half a year before I can transform criticism into the next work. They thought I had been able to insert that concept in it but still remain true to myself. \n\nI am also proud that I have listened to myself that I should take care about documentation more. Thanks to Thai the photos look so stunning!!! I can't remember what else they said. I think it was all very positive!! I was very proud of myself.\n\nI felt like this was an ode to my friends at school. Even though many of them I have met just in the last month, I find them all very interesting people and it is surprising how much we are all connected to music. We all knew the lyrics to the songs and vibed off it, like our lives were dependant on it. Like Sofiane said: he could finally be himself.\n\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JZom_gVfuw",
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      "body": "I lived in Vietnam for 5 years and loved the street rice. I'm American and haven't been to London. Sounds like something is declining, food wise, there. I do hope for the best for Europe. I do like the concept of the cross over between music and art. Life is better when people are fresh and ready for more.",
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      "permlink": "i-agree-with-you-acconci-creed",
      "title": "I agree with you Acconci + Creed",
      "body": "![26540211_10215337767145723_989650361_o.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmXHKpfMnmyWzTyC2Rc9FbEF2TNZMUFVH9HpojmVc1CgP5/26540211_10215337767145723_989650361_o.jpg)\n\nHey guys,\n\nI am going to use this space as my notebook for a while. So it won't be personal (nothing on what's happening in my life) or generally informative (top 5 things to do). It's just going to be related to what I am interested in and need to soak in, there's probably no other place I feel comfortable writing in, so I thought I'd just put it up here. \n\nFor anyone who is interested in contemporary art, performance, community, public art or art that uses food, actions, exchanges, music, gatherings and dances as art forms, this is where it's at. lol.\n\n# In the last few months\n- I have been churning out work, see my website (freshly updated) here: [www.samboleaptol.com](http://www.samboleaptol.com)\n- I have been trying to understand my microversion of world through many (non) physical experiences. I have the tendency to 'theorise' a lot of things, I guess it's my university background (I studied media and communication at Erasmus University/Sydney University in a different life) which sort of influences the way I think and approach information. I have found it quite disturbing in the beginning of my Bfa, so I have liberating myself from it by really not engaging in any sort of formal pieces of information and going through life non-fiction text free. I experience and see life through everyday encounters and thoughts - though my work in the last crit has been commented as having a anthropological or phsychological experimental approach.\n- I have been deliberately, as a result, abstained myself from 'spaces' where the emphasis is on these types of things, like museums, galleries, schools, libraries (unless necessary), watching documentaries, reading the news and have stopped reading shit on the internet and reading books altogether. Instead I have been going clubbing, out to concerts, supermarkets, getting my nails done, sitting on the bus, eating fried chicken in chickenshops, sitting in my room, watching silly youtube videos and scrolling through my instagram feed, having conversations with people.\n- As I am developing my practice and sharpening how I experience and see the world I want to see/believe in/express I find myself more alienating from contemporary artists which until this post has not really been problematic, but I came across a video by Martin Creed who has been saying some inspirational stuff and I think I am at this point where I cannot just use 2pac, Michael Dapaah, Kendrick Lamar and Dave Chapelle as my main points of reference. \n- It's impossible for me to use contemporary art without making a point about contemporary art. I have been literaly fighting the thought of a gallery space in my mind. I LOVE contemporary art, I love performance art, I love community art, I love this shit but I HATE white cube/hipster run down warehouse exhibition spaces. Hate them. Fucking hate them. I can't just hate shit so, I have arrived: I gotta do my research and educate myself, for the sake of finding a sense of community among fictionalised contemporary artists and their statements. For the sake of not drowning in my white cube pessism. I am not a hater usually, I am generally cheeky and happy.\n- Text is cool, making lists is not, or trying to make an argument. But still, maybe it's cool now. For now. Yo.\n- Oh yeah, so I also have some specific ways of doing the things that I do. So now I am just finding people that do the same.\n- I'm probably just going to be updating this post.\n\n# Quotes\n\n**Acconci about how visual art being gazed upon is fucked up and lame** \n[0:10-1:30](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg-eTDlZvUs)\n\n'There's a big problem with art, and the biggest problem with art is if you go into a space and you can't touch it, so that you really can't use it - it's saying that either the thing is more important then you are, or the institution that is housing, at least for the moment that thing, is stronger then you are. So you are there to gaze, you are there to view. And I think in order to really be with something you have to do more then viewing, you can view something in a magazine. It should be an interaction, and not a 'I am in front of this art and I am now letting the art sink into me', it sounds too much like religion to me. And I think art is asking to believe in the value of art. No - I think you should question everything. What I want is a space that you are in the middle of. Sound is more important to me then image, because image you just see what's in front of you. Sound if you close your eyes you might don't know where that sounds comes from. So, being in the middle of things is one thing that makes architecture.'\n\n**Creed on how words are overrated** \n[7:22-9:13](https://www.facebook.com/SothebysInstituteofArt/videos/10155309956819072/)\n\nOften... It’s difficult to talk, without, you know making statements, you know, or ending up making a statement, I think that you know and eh, almost like by definition of someone talking is, like as if there, it’s kind of like uh, it is sort of self-important (chuckles) or self pompous I think. I feel like it’s very difficult to talk without thinking, without you know because almost like if someone’s talking they obviously must want other people to hear what you are saying, you know, and so, I mean why would you talk if no one else is, so then you have to talk louder if you want people to hear, and then, ehm, now I don’t know what’s going on then, but ehm, I feel like it’s difficult, to, and also because words I think narrow things down and words are just never, you know, good enough, they don’t, they don’t, they ehm, don’t match, I don’t think they match up to the feelings I have at all, you know, so it’s like using words is a matter of, like it’s a sort of guessing game, a little bit I think, to try and find words to match up to your feelings. I think, often it seems to me like, em, well, I don’t know, I don’t know how it works, you know.\n\n[6:48](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tBzvXt_OBc)\n**Acconci not giving a damn about consistency** \n'I don't care about consistency, I don't want to have a technique. I don't want somebody to say this is a Acconci project, I would love somebody to say \"Gee I wonder who did that\". I think if you do too many things the same you start to fall back on the same things. I would love people taking some hints from work I have done.\"\n\n**Creed about doing the same shit** \n\"I like that .. but .. I don't really know what ideas are ... I try not to have one thing lead to another, although I think... that if you make something that youare happy with and that you like ... It's very tempting to take that as a given and work from it. But to me, that's dangerous. I think it's always better to try to start from nothing as if you haven't made anything before ... to just try to do something - to make something. You know. Whenever I've ... trusted something that I'd made and moved from that to make another thing I haven't been so happy.\"\n\n[text](http://www.martincreed.com/site/words/questions-by-corinna-durland)\n**Creed on whether he ever had a job** \n\n\"When I was a teenager I had a paper round, you know, I only lasted about two days before I ended up throwing a stack of magazines in a hedge. I couldn’t get up. [Laughs] I just couldn’t get up to do it. I think I’ve always found it difficult to do things that I don’t believe in, you know. And I didn’t believe in that paper round. And then later as a student, I had a job working in a café, just a coffee place and I think I also lost that job because I couldn’t get up for it … you know. I used to have a problem waking up. So much so that when I was a student I had three alarm clock arranged around my bed. Everyone else in the shared house I lived in used to wake up from my three alarm clocks, but not me, I slept through them.\"\n\n**Creed on making dumb shit**\n'His' more interesting than the others on accont of the fact he's more stupid. And I mean that in the best possible way, because stupid is good to me. I want to make stupid work. I never really got into the other artists.\"\n\n![pasfoto.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmTn3GgHKuYLWSSwmBVjxVbr9mttTAruTGSjq2vd1Y27Jn/pasfoto.jpg)\n\n# My thoughts on my own stuff (here I am talking to myself, yeah?)\n- Don't make lists, ever\n- If you don't feel like it, don't even try\n- All of my ideas are fucking sick (I decided to go Kanye mode in 2k18). DONT LET ANYONE DOUBT YOU.\n- BE FEARLESS\n- Don't push it for the sake of anyone else, push it cos you feel it internally\n- Everything will make sense afterwards\n- When it is time to be corrected, it will be. Trust yourself that your own instincts are good enough critics on the moment the work is created.\n- Don't let money scare you.\n- Do it at your own pace. Get up at your own pace. Eat when you want to. Take a dump when you want to. Trust your own instincts. Stop punishing yourself. Stay up until 5am like now if you want to. Do whatever the fuck you want.\n- Dream BIG, sooooo fucking BIG! Articulate the dreams. Every little step you take is toward dem dreams.\n- Every little fantasy is worth chasing\n- If you stay true to yourself (and you will) it doesn't matter if you are staring at the ceiling or looking on IG, it will take you closer to where you want to be. Trust the universe, the powers, the Gods\n- Feel. Feel being grateful. Feel being humble. Feel being helped. Feel the support. Feel the power. Feel the inspiration. Feel the creativity. Feel spirituality. Feel love. Feel deep intense love. Feel hatred. Feel. \n\nTBC!",
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      "title": "Living in London: Looking back at 2017, ups and downs",
      "body": "@@ -3587,15 +3587,23 @@\n the \n+student \n counci\n-l\n+m\n  in \n@@ -5200,8 +5200,174 @@\n GUJK7Na4\n+%0A%0AI want to thank the universe for connecting me with beautiful, kind hearted people, throughout my life and here in London. Thank you, for having my back. Thank you.\n",
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      "title": "Living in London: Looking back at 2017, ups and downs",
      "body": "Sup guys,\n\nmaybe it's time to write one of those introspective posts. \n\n![temp_regrann_1514654588982.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZMfbKjwH4qLo18m7mqAzABQGaBw2j9kNQZo6eh4E7dSg/temp_regrann_1514654588982.jpg)\n\n2017 was filled with dreams, broken dreams, resilience, frustration, selfdoubt and selfrecognition. It's really hard for me to go back to this time of year last year, I spent it with my best friend and her boyfriend in Berlin. We spent it at a friends of theirs apartment, had dinner, drinks and I was hiding from the fireworks because Berlin gets WWII when its NYE.\n\nI was working toward something, I think, at the time, I imagine it to be this exchange. I remember telling my friend I am going to London, almost confessionally, how I had been plotting moves to 'get out' for as long as I can remember being in Antwerp. But I felt always not taken seriously. People like to talk, you know.\n\n![temp_regrann_1514654122911.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmUwdpA54VWmQFCcC8a1phNs3MYBTow5V24EwXaSTFg6Fs/temp_regrann_1514654122911.jpg)\n\nI had been working a few nights too much at the Thai restaurant I was a waitress at, and I remember breaking down about it. I remember understanding I had to save money but I never knew how much was enough. I remember feeling really down about organising an exhibition at school. I just remember feeling really overwhelmed and down.\n\n![temp_regrann_1514654786592.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmcfNbvLuD9C2t5GS942HfUP1sZUmZLJAYzgKGzBTVQA5E/temp_regrann_1514654786592.jpg)\n\nI also remember settling into one of my first public actions and feeling really good about it. I felt I had found gold but had no idea what it was worth. I felt being pushed around by my tutors about how I would present it in a gallery context and all actually cared about my own recognition of standing up for myself in art. Standing up for myself, in my own art.\n\n![temp_regrann_1514654852207.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmNhVRHKNPmuohQriSEGSEfhY6PJBBvnd2RdQs4R6ejScF/temp_regrann_1514654852207.jpg)\n\nIn 2017 I felt a lot of jealousy. I wasn't being me. My art wasn't me. My life wasn't mine. I felt ridden by bad juju. I felt hopeless and unsupported. I was in a relationship but it had so much negative energy, none of us could move apart from disagreeing with eachother. I really tried not to drown. It was no ones fault really.\n\nToward the end of the summer, we had broken up, I spent more time hanging out with myself, spent more time exploring my friendships and invested in trying to settle in my future new home: London. A few weeks later, through unconditional love from friends in Antwerp (I see you!!) I felt myself slowly morphing into something new. There was room for a new me.\n\n![temp_regrann_1514654838461.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmSYyT6xjpL91ouEcUjazdWP1AgebkNFBRkbPELnyUqkVb/temp_regrann_1514654838461.jpg)\n![temp_regrann_1514654822611.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmT439rBty9dQTmAeHrTXZ2YUdPFfiRizBxhASc8ZEWB1W/temp_regrann_1514654822611.jpg)\n\nI got to London and I never asked for a 'clean slate'. I never asked for a new years resolution, a new way of doing things. I remember thinking it, but I had been let down by myself so many times in the last 3+ years I didn't even bother trusting myself trying to change for the better. Everything, for a long time, felt it had been turned against me.\n\nLondon smiled at me. All the things I had been talking about, preaching about in Antwerp, which is race, seemed to have been on everyones radar. All the things I had been saying about how an art school should operate (I was even in the council in the first year) was already applied and mega casual at this school. All the things I wanted in a city, the grit, the diversity, the money, the creativity, the music was condensed in this place. All the vibes I wanted to feel, was oozed out of every single place and uttered by every single person here in London. London was smiling at me, wanted to slide into my DMs, wanted to understand who I was in order to embrace me. I have never felt so embraced by a city.\n\n![temp_regrann_1514655172020.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmPoqmxP3s8BWmnz4BW5PwnJeoRTDchpuuJuvibyCGjhxU/temp_regrann_1514655172020.jpg)\n\n![temp_regrann_1514655376041.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmYQ3BuutKGygdwnw9f6FipMojFkEd4aKAzoYR49GF8ttZ/temp_regrann_1514655376041.jpg)\n\n\n![vlcsnap-2017-12-28-01h38m37s666.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmeAUSLQE4poyDJqkPX7Ai45fDwbt4J9KU92KKdWsCPwiy/vlcsnap-2017-12-28-01h38m37s666.png)\n\n![vlcsnap-2017-12-30-18h39m56s361.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZ3DeJ7DZEEUQS19LM8SMFq11oLt1XAS1qNPUYM5FN8HZ/vlcsnap-2017-12-30-18h39m56s361.png)\n\nIn return I gained some crazy confidence. I am still oozing off this confidence. I am feeling that my energy is attracting whatever I am putting in, I feel its already coming back to me by 20 fold. I feel there's one last stop, that's holding me back, from breaking through completely, from Samboleap to Supersayan Sam. I feel, in a sort of religious way, there's one last lesson I need to learn, the most difficult one, and it is happening right now.\n\nThe key is not to panic.\n\n\"You seem so calm, Sam.\"\n\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqQGUJK7Na4",
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      "body": "@@ -65,17 +65,16 @@\n osts. %0A%0A\n-%0A\n !%5Btemp_r\n@@ -4341,16 +4341,319 @@\n 1.jpg)%0A%0A\n+%0A!%5Bvlcsnap-2017-12-28-01h38m37s666.png%5D(https://steemitimages.com/DQmeAUSLQE4poyDJqkPX7Ai45fDwbt4J9KU92KKdWsCPwiy/vlcsnap-2017-12-28-01h38m37s666.png)%0A%0A!%5Bvlcsnap-2017-12-30-18h39m56s361.png%5D(https://steemitimages.com/DQmZ3DeJ7DZEEUQS19LM8SMFq11oLt1XAS1qNPUYM5FN8HZ/vlcsnap-2017-12-30-18h39m56s361.png)%0A%0A\n In retur\n@@ -5149,17 +5149,16 @@\n  Sam.%22%0A%0A\n-%0A\n https://\n@@ -5196,37 +5196,4 @@\n 7Na4\n-!%5Btemp_regrann_1514655147025.jpg%5D\n",
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      "permlink": "living-in-london-looking-back-at-201",
      "title": "Living in London: Looking back at 201",
      "body": "Sup guys,\n\nmaybe it's time to write one of those introspective posts. \n\n\n![temp_regrann_1514654588982.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZMfbKjwH4qLo18m7mqAzABQGaBw2j9kNQZo6eh4E7dSg/temp_regrann_1514654588982.jpg)\n\n2017 was filled with dreams, broken dreams, resilience, frustration, selfdoubt and selfrecognition. It's really hard for me to go back to this time of year last year, I spent it with my best friend and her boyfriend in Berlin. We spent it at a friends of theirs apartment, had dinner, drinks and I was hiding from the fireworks because Berlin gets WWII when its NYE.\n\nI was working toward something, I think, at the time, I imagine it to be this exchange. I remember telling my friend I am going to London, almost confessionally, how I had been plotting moves to 'get out' for as long as I can remember being in Antwerp. But I felt always not taken seriously. People like to talk, you know.\n\n![temp_regrann_1514654122911.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmUwdpA54VWmQFCcC8a1phNs3MYBTow5V24EwXaSTFg6Fs/temp_regrann_1514654122911.jpg)\n\nI had been working a few nights too much at the Thai restaurant I was a waitress at, and I remember breaking down about it. I remember understanding I had to save money but I never knew how much was enough. I remember feeling really down about organising an exhibition at school. I just remember feeling really overwhelmed and down.\n\n![temp_regrann_1514654786592.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmcfNbvLuD9C2t5GS942HfUP1sZUmZLJAYzgKGzBTVQA5E/temp_regrann_1514654786592.jpg)\n\nI also remember settling into one of my first public actions and feeling really good about it. I felt I had found gold but had no idea what it was worth. I felt being pushed around by my tutors about how I would present it in a gallery context and all actually cared about my own recognition of standing up for myself in art. Standing up for myself, in my own art.\n\n![temp_regrann_1514654852207.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmNhVRHKNPmuohQriSEGSEfhY6PJBBvnd2RdQs4R6ejScF/temp_regrann_1514654852207.jpg)\n\nIn 2017 I felt a lot of jealousy. I wasn't being me. My art wasn't me. My life wasn't mine. I felt ridden by bad juju. I felt hopeless and unsupported. I was in a relationship but it had so much negative energy, none of us could move apart from disagreeing with eachother. I really tried not to drown. It was no ones fault really.\n\nToward the end of the summer, we had broken up, I spent more time hanging out with myself, spent more time exploring my friendships and invested in trying to settle in my future new home: London. A few weeks later, through unconditional love from friends in Antwerp (I see you!!) I felt myself slowly morphing into something new. There was room for a new me.\n\n![temp_regrann_1514654838461.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmSYyT6xjpL91ouEcUjazdWP1AgebkNFBRkbPELnyUqkVb/temp_regrann_1514654838461.jpg)\n![temp_regrann_1514654822611.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmT439rBty9dQTmAeHrTXZ2YUdPFfiRizBxhASc8ZEWB1W/temp_regrann_1514654822611.jpg)\n\nI got to London and I never asked for a 'clean slate'. I never asked for a new years resolution, a new way of doing things. I remember thinking it, but I had been let down by myself so many times in the last 3+ years I didn't even bother trusting myself trying to change for the better. Everything, for a long time, felt it had been turned against me.\n\nLondon smiled at me. All the things I had been talking about, preaching about in Antwerp, which is race, seemed to have been on everyones radar. All the things I had been saying about how an art school should operate (I was even in the council in the first year) was already applied and mega casual at this school. All the things I wanted in a city, the grit, the diversity, the money, the creativity, the music was condensed in this place. All the vibes I wanted to feel, was oozed out of every single place and uttered by every single person here in London. London was smiling at me, wanted to slide into my DMs, wanted to understand who I was in order to embrace me. I have never felt so embraced by a city.\n\n![temp_regrann_1514655172020.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmPoqmxP3s8BWmnz4BW5PwnJeoRTDchpuuJuvibyCGjhxU/temp_regrann_1514655172020.jpg)\n\n![temp_regrann_1514655376041.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmYQ3BuutKGygdwnw9f6FipMojFkEd4aKAzoYR49GF8ttZ/temp_regrann_1514655376041.jpg)\n\nIn return I gained some crazy confidence. I am still oozing off this confidence. I am feeling that my energy is attracting whatever I am putting in, I feel its already coming back to me by 20 fold. I feel there's one last stop, that's holding me back, from breaking through completely, from Samboleap to Supersayan Sam. I feel, in a sort of religious way, there's one last lesson I need to learn, the most difficult one, and it is happening right now.\n\nThe key is not to panic.\n\n\"You seem so calm, Sam.\"\n\n\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqQGUJK7Na4![temp_regrann_1514655147025.jpg]",
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      "title": "Living in London (17): MTV, PAQ and XMAS",
      "body": "Merry Xmas y'all!\n\nHope everything is good.\n\nI've two videos to share with you which I got from instagram and youtube\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHSaqCLC_fA&feature=youtu.be\n**MTV.**\n\nThis is my 50 seconds overview about my MTV Breaks experience from a while back. I was mega tired!  (I wrote about my MTV experience [here](https://steemit.com/mtv/@ngtnsm/living-in-london-diary-13)). \n\n\nWe shot it on the last day, after  I had done 11 hours of continuous painting, so I was supercalm and my Dutch accent came thru for some reason lol\n\nhttps://youtu.be/9ExqV9nr67c\n\n**PAQ.**\n\nFor those who don't know, PAQ is a [fashion webseries](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H53khDTuOo&t=799s) on youtube made by a new youtubechannel called KYRA. I had been following the series in Belgium and am such a big fan, I even mentioned it in a Steemit post [here](https://steemit.com/fashion/@ngtnsm/5-videos-that-inspired-me-this-month-july-2017). I especially adore Shaq as a character on the show, he's superfunny and his outfits are always on point. So in [this episode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLT1DO4fngE) they are giving away 10,000 pounds of fashion items and they came by my door to give me a few! So cute! \n\nAnyway in the video, I dodged a kiss, but it was freezing, 10am, I hadn't had breakfast yet I was just spaced out man, sorry bro!\n\n![IMG_20171225_180040_622.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZ1hu5iJwCmvdLY3e3WphDQiXebY7bYS6Esqg2QExG8Yd/IMG_20171225_180040_622.jpg)\n**XMAS**\n\nI spent Xmas with my best friend, Jeremy, who I met 6 years ago in Australia. He now lives in Berlin and came for a three day visit. I am taking a selfie here with my brandnew Vapermax kicks and ski pants and he is doing my laundry. I had the best christmas ever, ate so much food and drank, went to a houseparty and slept. \n\nI have an incredible year, especially the last 3-4 months have been life changing. I feel very confident that 2018 will be a crucial year in my life and whatever I am trying to do.\n\n![verbatem2.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmW833ZjhUQ8aitd2zq6U23GN3jSWQrbegDKn8XYqxdt5M/verbatem2.jpg)\n\nJust before Xmas I made a flyer about something I want to do during our group exhibition on the 10th of January. I am not sure how it will pan out yet but I am excited about the idea so far. I am going to karaoke rap with my headphones in (its actually a theatrical technique called verbatim) and the songs are going to be protest songs. Its gonna look and be weird as hell but that's I guess, good. Im going to try and recruit a few people to come and join me. We will c when i test it out :)\n\nI am still trying to survive this crazy city, trying to do my own thing and trying to be true to myself.\n\nPeace out and lots of love,\nSammy",
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      "body": "Nice post @ngtnsm. My lovely mother on the first picture at right and very beautiful photos, good to see it back!",
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