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      "author": "nataliagurdian",
      "permlink": "como-regreso-con-mi-novio-a-la-regla-del-contacto-cero",
      "title": "¿Cómo regreso con mi novio/a? La regla del \"Contacto Cero\"",
      "body": "<html>\n<p><img src=\"https://nataliagurdian.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/¿Cómo-regresar-con-mi-ex-.png\" width=\"940\" height=\"788\"/>&nbsp;</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>Si acabas de terminar una relación, y te gustaría regresar, el mejor chance te lo da la<strong>&nbsp;regla del &nbsp;contacto cero.&nbsp;</strong>La razón por la que me gusta esta \"estrategia\" es porque tú te vas a beneficiar de ella, regreses o no con tu pareja. Y desde esa perspectiva, <strong>no puedes perder.</strong> ¿Te interesa? Sigue leyendo...</p>\n<h5><strong>¿Cómo funciona el contacto cero?&nbsp;</strong></h5>\n<p>Funciona de la siguiente manera: Durante un período de tiempo determinado, te abstendrás de contactar a tu ex pareja por completo. No se valen llamadas de ningún tipo, mensajes o contacto en redes sociales. Aunque estés pensando en que quieres tu libro de regreso, deseas preguntar sobre la salud de un familiar o &nbsp;contarle sobre un evento importante en tu vida... ¡No lo hagas! La mente es astuta y encuentra muchas razones por las cuales contactar. Todo parece una emergencia, pero <strong>no</strong> lo es.</p>\n<p>El objetivo la <strong>regla del contacto cero</strong>&nbsp;es facilitar que tu ex novio/a te extrañe realmente y tenga más posibilidades de regresar contigo. De lo contrario, si ambos siguen hablando o discutiendo, no habrá espacio para echarse de menos, o reflexionar.</p>\n<p>El contacto cero le da chance a tu ex pareja de enfrentar las consecuencias de su decisión, en vez de tener \"lo mejor de los dos mundos\", contacto contigo y soltería.</p>\n<h5><strong>¿Qué has de hacer durante este tiempo?</strong></h5>\n<p>Es importantísimo reflexionar y entender por qué la relación no funcionó.Si no te tomas ese tiempo, estarás encadenado en cometer los mismos errores una y otra vez. Has de poder romper ese patrón, ¡todos tenemos esa capacidad!</p>\n<p>Tú te mereces entender lo que pasó y lo qué puedes hacer al respecto.Empieza con el principio de la relación, intenta enfocarte en los problemas recurrentes, los conflictos continuos. Escribirlos todos en un papel, es mejor tomarse el tiempo en redactarlo estructuradamente.</p>\n<p>Mira la lista desde tu punto de vista, pero también trata de ponerte en los zapatos de tu ex pareja. Ve debajo de la superficie. Busca patrones más profundos.</p>\n<p>Enfócate en acciones que puedes hacer para mejorar. Busca soluciones. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>No necesitas a tu ex, para hacer esto.</p>\n<p>Durante el no contacto, podrás mostrar una parte diferente de ti mismo: en vez de buscar, rogar, negociar o pelear, respetarás los deseos de tu ex, y te mantendrás al margen trabajando en ti mismo/a. Y esto es algo nuevo.</p>\n<blockquote>El no contacto no significa pasividad. Es acción.</blockquote>\n<p>Probablemente tu ex no quiere regresar contigo, quiere regresar con la persona que eras, antes de iniciar la relación. El no contacto, te da chance de \"resetearte\".Por supuesto, tu pareja también habrá cometido errores (todos somos humanos) pero tú sólo puedes controlar lo que está de tu lado.</p>\n<h5><strong>¿Qué hacer con la ansiedad?</strong></h5>\n<p>Es probable que el contacto cero te genere mucha ansiedad. Posiblemente quieras saber de él o ella, por conocidos, medios sociales o hablando directamente. Recuerda, tu mente encontrará cualquier excusa. En este momento es cuando has de poder <strong>tolerar la ansiedad.</strong></p>\n<p>Ejercicio para <em>tolerar</em> la ansiedad: Siéntante, respira y siente la ansiedad en tu cuerpo. Quédate con la sensación, permítete sentir mientras sigues respirando. Inevitablemente la ansiedad va a bajar sin la necesidad de hacer <em>algo</em>. Deja que los pensamientos pasen por tu mente como nubes, sin aferrarte a ninguno. Haz esto durante al menos dos a cinco minutos.</p>\n<p>Si haces este ejercicio regularmente, aprenderás que tu <strong>SI</strong> puedes tolerar la ansiedad y no necesitas realizar aquellas acciones que te perjudican, como controlar y obsesionarte para sentirte mejor.</p>\n<p>Otras maneras de <em>bajar</em> la ansiedad:Ejercicio, terapia personal, meditación, ayuda al prójimo, pasatiempos, relajación, visualizaciones.</p>\n<h5><strong>¿Cuándo es prudente contactar de regreso?</strong></h5>\n<p>Existen versiones diferentes de la técnica \"contacto cero\".</p>\n<p><strong>La primera versión</strong> es que no puedes hablar con tu ex a menos que él o ella te hablen a ti. &nbsp;Así que si &nbsp;no te habla, debes respetarlo y seguir adelante.</p>\n<p><strong>La segunda versión</strong> consiste en que sí puedes hablarle después de un tiempo suficiente en el que te has dado permiso de extrañar, reflexionar y cambiar.La versión que uses depende de tu criterio e intuición.</p>\n<h5><strong>¿Cuánto tiempo has de esperar en la segunda versión?</strong></h5>\n<p>Lastimosamente tampoco hay una respuesta fija, cada caso es diferente pero pretender o fingir que eres distinto después de un mes, no te servirá tu objetivo de regresar y&nbsp;lo más importante, no te servirá a ti.No importando lo que decidas, es crucial&nbsp;que te enfoques en ti mismo, con el objetivo primordial de estar bien y evolucionar. Termine como termine esta etapa de tu vida.</p>\n<h5><strong>Señales de que has empezado un cambio:</strong></h5>\n<p>Antes te costaba levantarte para hacer ejercicio, ahora vas al gimnasio tres veces por semana.Antes tomabas más de la cuenta, ahora en vez de tomar, realizas otra actividad y te enfocas en un pasatiempo.Antes te mostrabas inseguro/a o celoso/a debido, ahora tienes otras prioridades y has crecido como persona. Tu seguridad en ti mismo ha dado un salto.Antes te mostrabas frío o distante, ahora te permite mostrar tu lado más vulnerable y has retomado relaciones que habías dejado de lado.</p>\n<p><strong>Tu ex puede estar dudoso/a y es normal</strong></p>\n<p>Es de esperar que tu ex pareja se muestre inseguro de los cambios. Y eso está bien. Tu paciencia y tolerancia serán retadas.Es muy importante que seas comprensivo con las dudas. Tu ex pareja también ha sufrido, aunque haya sido él o ella que hayan iniciado la ruptura.</p>\n<p><strong>No vayas muy rápido&nbsp;</strong></p>\n<p>No te apures a iniciar de nuevo una relación. Si aún no estás seguro de que tu ex pareja quiera intentarlo, es mejor esperar.</p>\n<h5><strong>¿Tienes miedo que ambos vuelvan a las mismas peleas o discusiones?&nbsp;</strong></h5>\n<p>Tal vez tengas miedo que, aunque tú hayas hecho algunos cambios, tu pareja pueda comportarse como antes y las discusiones regresen.</p>\n<p>Recuerda que tú no puedes controlar la transformación de tu ex novio/a, y tampoco te corresponde.</p>\n<p>Lo único que puedes hacer es mejorarte a ti mismo y esperar que ese cambio sea suficiente para alterar la forma en cómo se relacionan ambos.&nbsp;En la mayoría de las ocasiones, cuando una persona modifica su comportamiento, afecta a los demás.</p>\n<p>Si tu pareja sigue comportándose de la misma manera que antes y eso te hace sufrir y regresar a tu inseguridad o alejamiento, entonces vale la pena preguntarse si deseas esta relación.</p>\n<p>Recuerda tener en mente tus límites. Qué puedes tolerar en tú relación y qué no. Qué puedes ceder y qué no.</p>\n<h5><strong>¿Qué podría pasar si mantienes el contacto cero?</strong></h5>\n<p><strong>Estos son los dos escenarios, ambos positivos:&nbsp;</strong></p>\n<p><strong>El escenario número uno</strong></p>\n<p>Después de un tiempo de contacto cero en el que ambos se extrañen, tu ex te contactará debido a que ha sentido tu ausencia y no quiere perderte. Ha observado que has respetado su espacio y eso le gusta. Una vez haya hablado contigo, se dará cuenta que no eres la misma persona y se sentirá ilusionado en volver a conocerte y eventualmente regresar.</p>\n<p><strong>El escenario número dos</strong></p>\n<p>Tú empiezas el contacto cero, junto con la reflexión y el cambio. Después de un tiempo, tu ex aún no te ha contactado o le buscas y él o ella te dice que no desea intentarlo. Aunque te duele, &nbsp;sigues adelante y te das cuenta que tu felicidad depende de ti.En el futuro, cuando decidas iniciar una relación, no volverás a crear los mismos patrones o peleas recurrentes, debido a que has trabajado en ti mismo/a.</p>\n<h5><strong>¿Como sabe tu ex que ya has cambiado si no le hablas?&nbsp;</strong></h5>\n<p>Él o ella notará tu cambio por medio de la ausencia.Es muy probable si la relación terminó, fue porque uno o ambos no se sintieron respetados, en algún grado. Tal vez &nbsp;tu pareja se sentía demasiado atrapada o herida. &nbsp;Si él o ella te pidió terminar la relación, y tú no le hablas, estas mostrando respeto.En vez de eso, si tú suplicas, ruegas, controlas, estás implicando que no respetas sus necesidades o decisiones. Si les das lo que quiere, y les dejas sentir cómo es estar sin ti, les vas a enseñar que estas creciendo como persona, porque tú escuchas lo que necesita y estás preparado para ser un mejor novio/a a largo plazo, si eso sucediera.</p>\n<p>Recuerda:Permanecer en silencio total es dificil, pero es un buen momento para reflexionar sobre quién eres, qué quieres, que puedes dar y qué esperas.</p>\n<p>No te sientes sólo en el sofá, viendo cómo el tiempo pasa, pensando en qué estaría haciendo tu ex, (aunque todos hemos estado en esa posición).&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Usa el tiempo para tu beneficio.Evalúa tu relación, las cosas que podrías haber hecho distintas o mejores y cuando te toque acercarte, (después de haber respetado su decisión) ya tendrás las herramientas para ofrecer una soluciones.Si tú te distancias, pero regresas con la misma carga de problemas, no va a pasar nada.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Tu pareja no va a estar interesada, o tal vez sí, pero van a regresar a tener los mismos problemas. Así que deja que la distancia muestre tu evolución como persona y como pareja.&nbsp;</p>\n</html>",
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      "body": "Gracias!! :D",
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