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      "body": "A father is the breadwinner of the family. He wakes up for work while the rest of the family are still fast asleep and comes back late at night when they must have gone to bed. All this he does to put food on the table for his family. Then why do the children get to shower him little or no love at all? The answer to this question may vary according to individual perspective.\n    As the child grows up, it gets emotionally connected to the one who is always around- the mother. Children tend to forget someone whom they don’t always see, or at worst, feel insecure with his/her presence. Does this explain the under-appreciation of fathers? Not entirely. Another point of view to this issue is the African mothers. You may ask what the mother has got to do with this, well, it’s quite simple: the African mother has a way of presenting the father in a non-pleasant way to the children. Let’s take this scenario as a card study : the children of John, who is away at work, come back from school and tell their mother they need money to buy the items needed for their forthcoming practicals in school. The mother tell God will provide, as it is the way of Africans. Later in the night, when the father has arrived from work tired and exhausted, she tells him, while in bed, about the need of the children and the husband provides as it is his responsibility. The mother then gives the children what they need and never tells them where the money came from. With this, the children feel safe confiding in their mother for their financial needs because they believe she is the one providing for them. \n    Fathers have a lot of work to do in registering their presence in their respective families. It is never enough to be there financially, the children need more of love and support. The mother also has a crucial role to play in helping the child appreciate the father. She needs to explain to the child why the father cannot always be around and make it understand that it cares. The father, on the other hand, should try to build a subtle relationship with the children and not to be too dictational and fierce with the children in order not to scare them away. As a father, make your children know you love them, take them out on vacations, pay attention to them, and most essentially, keep contact with them when you’re around and when you’re not. The child needs you to be at your best, dad!",
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      "body": ".:: ENCOURAGING THE ENCOURAGER ::.\n\nI remember brother J today. Everyone knew him in the church we attended many years ago. He was an encourager.\n\nIf he knew of someone with a need, he wouldn't rest until he met it or until he got someone who could.\n\nHe wasn't a pastor, but most people thought he was. He visited. He counseled. He prayed for people. \n\nNo one could miss church two weeks in a row without having brother J visit him.\n\nHe was one smiling, energetic brother who was always smiling and available. He didn't seem to have a care in the world. \n\nAs busy as he always was in helping people, I never heard him complain about anyone. I had seen him respond to the most abrasive insults with good natured jokes and sweet laughter.\n\nI returned from a trip and noticed that brother J wasn't in church. I asked some of his 'friends' why, and they couldn't give me a definite answer.\n\nOne said maybe he had travelled to see his family. Another said maybe he was busy doing something important. All I got was maybes, and more maybes from his 'besties.'\n\nI asked some guys who had been helped by brother J, and they couldn't tell me anything useful. Even those in leadership couldn't tell me anything important.\n\nDuring the week, I decided to look for brother J. It took me two days to find his house. I was terribly shocked. This gracious brother was living in the most inhospitable condition.\n\nA boy showed me his room, the room he used to live in.\n\nBrother J had died four months earlier.\n\nNone of his brethren was aware. Not even those he helped.\n\nThis gracious brother had fallen on hard times in the past eighteen months and had lost so much. This made him to move to this terrible neighborhood of gangs, living in unsanitary conditions.\n\nHe had been asthmatic, but his trials and living conditions seemed to aggravate his ill health.\n\nBrother J was sick, and was in his room for a week. He died in that room. \n\nThe boy that took me to his room told me brother J sent him to one of the brothers in his church group at the height of his sicknes. That one said he would tell the others. My investigation revealed that he told a couple of people and they all agreed to visit him sometime. They never did.\n\nHis neighbors took his body to the morgue and did what they could to find his extended family members.\n\nBrother J had been quietly forgotten by the people he loved. \n\nI cried.\n\nBrethren, don't ever think that the people around you who seem to be very strong don't need encouragement.\n\nThe brethren who neglected brother J were probably good people who took his strength for granted. You know that smooth presumption that makes you think, \"I know it's too late and daddy should be home by now, but I am sure he can take care of himself. Let's go to sleep.\"\n\nThey believed brother J was usually fine, and would be fine this time, too.\n\nEncouragers need encouragement. To encourage you, they sometimes have to ignore their own troubles, which may be much bigger than yours.\n\nYou may think they are very rich, but they may have issues in their lives that money cannot handle.\n\nYou may think they are always happy, but they are only smiling for you. They may be trying to lift you up while they are down.\n\nThose who are strong for others sometimes need someone to be strong for them.\n\nThe people you go to when you feel like giving up on life... when you are neck deep in financial or marital challenges, who leave everything to spend hours with you on the phone, pray with you, visit you and nurse your battered confidence back to health...\n\nYour mother, father, brother or pastor may be the strongest person you have ever known. What they have shielded you from hit them hard, and left some marks on them.\n\nYou don't know about these because they chose not to tell you.\n\nSometimes the little errors they commit are due to the pressures on them. So, I'm calling on you this Sunday to encourage the encourager.\n\nI hope you had a nice read friends.\n\n\nLook forward to my next post.",
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