VOTING POWER100.00%
DOWNVOTE POWER100.00%
RESOURCE CREDITS100.00%
REPUTATION PROGRESS0.00%
Net Worth
0.007USD
STEEM
0.000STEEM
SBD
0.000SBD
Effective Power
5.007SP
├── Own SP
0.126SP
└── Incoming DelegationsDeleg
+4.882SP
Detailed Balance
| STEEM | ||
| balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| market_balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| savings_balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| reward_steem_balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| STEEM POWER | ||
| Own SP | 0.126SP | SP |
| Delegated Out | 0.000SP | SP |
| Delegation In | 4.882SP | SP |
| Effective Power | 5.007SP | SP |
| Reward SP (pending) | 0.000SP | SP |
| SBD | ||
| sbd_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| sbd_conversions | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| sbd_market_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| savings_sbd_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| reward_sbd_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
{
"balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"savings_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"reward_steem_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"vesting_shares": "204.134185 VESTS",
"delegated_vesting_shares": "0.000000 VESTS",
"received_vesting_shares": "7939.525621 VESTS",
"sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"savings_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"reward_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"conversions": []
}Account Info
| name | mccvang |
| id | 864463 |
| rank | 355,341 |
| reputation | 174157420 |
| created | 2018-03-16T19:25:39 |
| recovery_account | steem |
| proxy | None |
| post_count | 12 |
| comment_count | 0 |
| lifetime_vote_count | 0 |
| witnesses_voted_for | 0 |
| last_post | 2018-04-23T17:06:18 |
| last_root_post | 2018-04-23T17:06:18 |
| last_vote_time | 2018-05-18T16:16:00 |
| proxied_vsf_votes | 0, 0, 0, 0 |
| can_vote | 1 |
| voting_power | 0 |
| delayed_votes | 0 |
| balance | 0.000 STEEM |
| savings_balance | 0.000 STEEM |
| sbd_balance | 0.000 SBD |
| savings_sbd_balance | 0.000 SBD |
| vesting_shares | 204.134185 VESTS |
| delegated_vesting_shares | 0.000000 VESTS |
| received_vesting_shares | 7939.525621 VESTS |
| reward_vesting_balance | 0.000000 VESTS |
| vesting_balance | 0.000 STEEM |
| vesting_withdraw_rate | 0.000000 VESTS |
| next_vesting_withdrawal | 1969-12-31T23:59:59 |
| withdrawn | 0 |
| to_withdraw | 0 |
| withdraw_routes | 0 |
| savings_withdraw_requests | 0 |
| last_account_recovery | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| reset_account | null |
| last_owner_update | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| last_account_update | 2018-03-16T19:32:42 |
| mined | No |
| sbd_seconds | 0 |
| sbd_last_interest_payment | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| savings_sbd_last_interest_payment | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
{
"id": 864463,
"name": "mccvang",
"owner": {
"weight_threshold": 1,
"account_auths": [],
"key_auths": [
[
"STM8dn8rfa9r2sv5ffqNhHXSPgjoGyWo6U2g2iYJZgA2xrkycPKWe",
1
]
]
},
"active": {
"weight_threshold": 1,
"account_auths": [],
"key_auths": [
[
"STM55hdmHAyieByMqsJCdZYwfgDqzweHkFqHvkF1ScGVbcNtUbwXj",
1
]
]
},
"posting": {
"weight_threshold": 1,
"account_auths": [],
"key_auths": [
[
"STM5vCDHHtGB2QrNu512mNEDueyZ8ffaEkFEHPthRukNe3XR7pqqf",
1
]
]
},
"memo_key": "STM7uc4AYhARMtAskhcFJv6j64WGJXsZURNc3zuPy9seJE2gqNRAJ",
"json_metadata": "{\"profile\":{\"name\":\"Happieface\"}}",
"posting_json_metadata": "{\"profile\":{\"name\":\"Happieface\"}}",
"proxy": "",
"last_owner_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"last_account_update": "2018-03-16T19:32:42",
"created": "2018-03-16T19:25:39",
"mined": false,
"recovery_account": "steem",
"last_account_recovery": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"reset_account": "null",
"comment_count": 0,
"lifetime_vote_count": 0,
"post_count": 12,
"can_vote": true,
"voting_manabar": {
"current_mana": "8143659806",
"last_update_time": 1779075342
},
"downvote_manabar": {
"current_mana": 2035914951,
"last_update_time": 1779075342
},
"voting_power": 0,
"balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"savings_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"sbd_seconds": "0",
"sbd_seconds_last_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"sbd_last_interest_payment": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"savings_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"savings_sbd_seconds": "0",
"savings_sbd_seconds_last_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"savings_sbd_last_interest_payment": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"savings_withdraw_requests": 0,
"reward_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"reward_steem_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"reward_vesting_balance": "0.000000 VESTS",
"reward_vesting_steem": "0.000 STEEM",
"vesting_shares": "204.134185 VESTS",
"delegated_vesting_shares": "0.000000 VESTS",
"received_vesting_shares": "7939.525621 VESTS",
"vesting_withdraw_rate": "0.000000 VESTS",
"next_vesting_withdrawal": "1969-12-31T23:59:59",
"withdrawn": 0,
"to_withdraw": 0,
"withdraw_routes": 0,
"curation_rewards": 0,
"posting_rewards": 0,
"proxied_vsf_votes": [
0,
0,
0,
0
],
"witnesses_voted_for": 0,
"last_post": "2018-04-23T17:06:18",
"last_root_post": "2018-04-23T17:06:18",
"last_vote_time": "2018-05-18T16:16:00",
"post_bandwidth": 0,
"pending_claimed_accounts": 0,
"vesting_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"reputation": 174157420,
"transfer_history": [],
"market_history": [],
"post_history": [],
"vote_history": [],
"other_history": [],
"witness_votes": [],
"tags_usage": [],
"guest_bloggers": [],
"rank": 355341
}Withdraw Routes
| Incoming | Outgoing |
|---|---|
Empty | Empty |
{
"incoming": [],
"outgoing": []
}From Date
To Date
2026/05/18 03:35:42
2026/05/18 03:35:42
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 7939.525621 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #106147438/Trx c6716e09267ac0c75d530ebc85a3c000409f0cae |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "c6716e09267ac0c75d530ebc85a3c000409f0cae",
"block": 106147438,
"trx_in_block": 2,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2026-05-18T03:35:42",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "7939.525621 VESTS"
}
]
}2026/05/12 17:22:42
2026/05/12 17:22:42
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 5227.315216 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #105991922/Trx 234198032052c068eb343dcca451ce3f1685c834 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "234198032052c068eb343dcca451ce3f1685c834",
"block": 105991922,
"trx_in_block": 1,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2026-05-12T17:22:42",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "5227.315216 VESTS"
}
]
}2026/04/26 02:51:21
2026/04/26 02:51:21
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 7952.041377 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #105514995/Trx f5f9aaf160bf0f6c8f1ff9b688d4cd1049b051e1 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "f5f9aaf160bf0f6c8f1ff9b688d4cd1049b051e1",
"block": 105514995,
"trx_in_block": 0,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2026-04-26T02:51:21",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "7952.041377 VESTS"
}
]
}2026/01/23 16:45:48
2026/01/23 16:45:48
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 5268.862035 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #102862549/Trx 5fae47580c1cd39f536bdec32331cce86d02102b |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "5fae47580c1cd39f536bdec32331cce86d02102b",
"block": 102862549,
"trx_in_block": 1,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2026-01-23T16:45:48",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "5268.862035 VESTS"
}
]
}2024/12/17 11:58:51
2024/12/17 11:58:51
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 5433.081232 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #91308824/Trx 01178e9b56a06724836ca5e8a28783d171842252 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "01178e9b56a06724836ca5e8a28783d171842252",
"block": 91308824,
"trx_in_block": 3,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2024-12-17T11:58:51",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "5433.081232 VESTS"
}
]
}2023/11/14 03:40:57
2023/11/14 03:40:57
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 5602.214764 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #79863002/Trx e0f319c11931ff9c12e0c3f34845e22e2a939e22 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "e0f319c11931ff9c12e0c3f34845e22e2a939e22",
"block": 79863002,
"trx_in_block": 8,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2023-11-14T03:40:57",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "5602.214764 VESTS"
}
]
}2023/09/22 01:45:24
2023/09/22 01:45:24
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 8539.493550 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #78352530/Trx 73bd050cea92b27caf0e77c9fed2c9c8306d3150 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "73bd050cea92b27caf0e77c9fed2c9c8306d3150",
"block": 78352530,
"trx_in_block": 2,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2023-09-22T01:45:24",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "8539.493550 VESTS"
}
]
}2022/11/03 15:04:18
2022/11/03 15:04:18
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 8761.174988 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #69117282/Trx d11a1cb3e7a90c16ea53727cfa61908b87489054 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "d11a1cb3e7a90c16ea53727cfa61908b87489054",
"block": 69117282,
"trx_in_block": 8,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2022-11-03T15:04:18",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "8761.174988 VESTS"
}
]
}2022/01/17 20:31:42
2022/01/17 20:31:42
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 8981.282589 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #60820840/Trx c320b7f3945ae6890c9aefa57e49efcbd0da4bd7 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "c320b7f3945ae6890c9aefa57e49efcbd0da4bd7",
"block": 60820840,
"trx_in_block": 5,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2022-01-17T20:31:42",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "8981.282589 VESTS"
}
]
}2021/06/14 03:49:48
2021/06/14 03:49:48
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 9165.476877 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #54611321/Trx 3d884a28def1c58f4f101066ea47a41a6e2854d9 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "3d884a28def1c58f4f101066ea47a41a6e2854d9",
"block": 54611321,
"trx_in_block": 8,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2021-06-14T03:49:48",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "9165.476877 VESTS"
}
]
}2020/12/11 14:04:57
2020/12/11 14:04:57
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 9352.898851 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #49358666/Trx c8141809521f4d9476cea1cd33302229f5c84d1c |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "c8141809521f4d9476cea1cd33302229f5c84d1c",
"block": 49358666,
"trx_in_block": 1,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-12-11T14:04:57",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "9352.898851 VESTS"
}
]
}2020/12/06 07:41:00
2020/12/06 07:41:00
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 1912.543513 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #49210203/Trx 6993bef9f7c8dc7f381750ba44a2bd300ef74729 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "6993bef9f7c8dc7f381750ba44a2bd300ef74729",
"block": 49210203,
"trx_in_block": 2,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-12-06T07:41:00",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "1912.543513 VESTS"
}
]
}2020/12/05 17:42:39
2020/12/05 17:42:39
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 9359.106705 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #49193751/Trx a232f1f0997a72d805d4e9d4658a699d73fc4c6b |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "a232f1f0997a72d805d4e9d4658a699d73fc4c6b",
"block": 49193751,
"trx_in_block": 2,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-12-05T17:42:39",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "9359.106705 VESTS"
}
]
}2020/11/02 21:47:27
2020/11/02 21:47:27
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 1920.017158 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #48265049/Trx 4011343bd4033e396bbd8ae8cdfd1a0b5ad84821 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "4011343bd4033e396bbd8ae8cdfd1a0b5ad84821",
"block": 48265049,
"trx_in_block": 10,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-11-02T21:47:27",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "1920.017158 VESTS"
}
]
}2020/05/09 08:41:42
2020/05/09 08:41:42
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 9561.912064 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #43220496/Trx 484a5421c78e29b7e40fabd4746c4edf90d95fc9 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "484a5421c78e29b7e40fabd4746c4edf90d95fc9",
"block": 43220496,
"trx_in_block": 6,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-05-09T08:41:42",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "9561.912064 VESTS"
}
]
}2020/05/08 12:44:48
2020/05/08 12:44:48
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 1953.311140 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #43197124/Trx f6ba6cc69b2f73ea6d88ee233ddc39d1b7a8c3c2 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "f6ba6cc69b2f73ea6d88ee233ddc39d1b7a8c3c2",
"block": 43197124,
"trx_in_block": 21,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-05-08T12:44:48",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "1953.311140 VESTS"
}
]
}2020/03/16 19:46:24
2020/03/16 19:46:24
| parent author | mccvang |
| parent permlink | the-phone-number-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story |
| author | steemitboard |
| permlink | steemitboard-notify-mccvang-20200316t194624000z |
| title | |
| body | Congratulations @mccvang! You received a personal award! <table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@mccvang/birthday2.png</td><td>Happy Steem Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!</td></tr></table> <sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@mccvang) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=mccvang)_</sub> ###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes! |
| json metadata | {"image":["https://steemitboard.com/img/notify.png"]} |
| Transaction Info | Block #41710650/Trx 30954cd48c904a02fc7ad211a5ba9b53c85a8413 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "30954cd48c904a02fc7ad211a5ba9b53c85a8413",
"block": 41710650,
"trx_in_block": 6,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-03-16T19:46:24",
"op": [
"comment",
{
"parent_author": "mccvang",
"parent_permlink": "the-phone-number-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story",
"author": "steemitboard",
"permlink": "steemitboard-notify-mccvang-20200316t194624000z",
"title": "",
"body": "Congratulations @mccvang! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@mccvang/birthday2.png</td><td>Happy Steem Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@mccvang) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=mccvang)_</sub>\n\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
"json_metadata": "{\"image\":[\"https://steemitboard.com/img/notify.png\"]}"
}
]
}2019/08/03 06:57:51
2019/08/03 06:57:51
| delegator | steem |
| delegatee | mccvang |
| vesting shares | 9721.955413 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #35223028/Trx d7bd97f111a5da238e17174ee9c05bf688ad90ab |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "d7bd97f111a5da238e17174ee9c05bf688ad90ab",
"block": 35223028,
"trx_in_block": 7,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2019-08-03T06:57:51",
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegator": "steem",
"delegatee": "mccvang",
"vesting_shares": "9721.955413 VESTS"
}
]
}2019/03/16 20:08:18
2019/03/16 20:08:18
| parent author | mccvang |
| parent permlink | the-phone-number-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story |
| author | steemitboard |
| permlink | steemitboard-notify-mccvang-20190316t200818000z |
| title | |
| body | Congratulations @mccvang! You received a personal award! <table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@mccvang/birthday1.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 1 year!</td></tr></table> <sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@mccvang) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](http://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=mccvang)_</sub> **Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:** <table><tr><td><a href="https://steemit.com/drugwars/@steemitboard/drugwars-early-adopter"><img src="https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmYGN7R653u4hDFyq1hM7iuhr2bdAP1v2ApACDNtecJAZ5/image.png"></a></td><td><a href="https://steemit.com/drugwars/@steemitboard/drugwars-early-adopter">Are you a DrugWars early adopter? Benvenuto in famiglia!</a></td></tr></table> ###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes! |
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"body": "Congratulations @mccvang! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@mccvang/birthday1.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 1 year!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@mccvang) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](http://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=mccvang)_</sub>\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/drugwars/@steemitboard/drugwars-early-adopter\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmYGN7R653u4hDFyq1hM7iuhr2bdAP1v2ApACDNtecJAZ5/image.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/drugwars/@steemitboard/drugwars-early-adopter\">Are you a DrugWars early adopter? Benvenuto in famiglia!</a></td></tr></table>\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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}2018/08/17 17:54:39
2018/08/17 17:54:39
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2018/07/22 01:10:45
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}mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @majharul / re-happymoneyman-new-eos-info-ns-james-update-20180518t084945719z2018/05/18 16:16:00
mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @majharul / re-happymoneyman-new-eos-info-ns-james-update-20180518t084945719z
2018/05/18 16:16:00
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}mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @brianphobos / re-happymoneyman-new-eos-info-ns-james-update-20180518t084723647z2018/05/18 16:15:12
mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @brianphobos / re-happymoneyman-new-eos-info-ns-james-update-20180518t084723647z
2018/05/18 16:15:12
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}mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @joeparys / re-happymoneyman-new-eos-info-ns-james-update-20180518t132645810z2018/05/18 16:14:51
mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @joeparys / re-happymoneyman-new-eos-info-ns-james-update-20180518t132645810z
2018/05/18 16:14:51
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}mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @happymoneyman / new-eos-info-ns-james-update2018/05/18 16:14:39
mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @happymoneyman / new-eos-info-ns-james-update
2018/05/18 16:14:39
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}mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / the-phone-number-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story2018/04/23 17:06:18
mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / the-phone-number-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story
2018/04/23 17:06:18
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}mccvangpublished a new post: the-phone-number-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story2018/04/23 17:06:18
mccvangpublished a new post: the-phone-number-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story
2018/04/23 17:06:18
| parent author | |
| parent permlink | love |
| author | mccvang |
| permlink | the-phone-number-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story |
| title | The Phone Number....In the Life: Domestic Violence Survivor Story |
| body | I never got the chance that day to check up on my friend who I ditched and that killed me deeply. You see, since the chaos happened in my horrifying relationship with him, many of my close friends stayed their distance whenever it comes to him. I don't blame them. I would probably do the same too. Some thought they knew what was going on and made assumptions. Some supported me and some didn't. But the only one who saw something different in me than the rest of the crowd was my one friend I ditched that day. How could I do this? That last day, sitting in his room as he cried. I stayed silent till he was ready to say his words before we officially end this. It was a long day after his graduation and dinner. I was exhausted to the max yet there I was with him listening to his cries. I had no more emotions left for him. I felt nothing more and nothing else for his dreadful tears. When he finally spoke, he asked me if I loved him (my friend). That has nothing to do with him, I thought. With my silence, gave him my answer. Then he wanted something else. My friend's number. I refused to give out my friend's number. A friend would not do that, especially when I just did the worst thing to a friend that very same day. How could I? I knew of his intentions and why he wanted the number. He assured me that he wasn't going to say or do anything bad once he gets the number. I refused many times. In my mind, I thought about how my friend would feel or think about how bad of a person I was if I had given his number to his terrible person he just saw go crazy today. I was not fortunate to have a mobile phone with me during these hard days but I remember my friends phone number by heart. He tried to get it out of me but I refused. This time, he didn't physically persuade or force me to give it out. Instead, he used his words assuring me nothing would happen. One thing for sure was if I did not give him my friend's phone number I would never leave. I would not see the end to this tiring relationship. So I made a deal. |
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"body": "I never got the chance that day to check up on my friend who I ditched and that killed me deeply. You see, since the chaos happened in my horrifying relationship with him, many of my close friends stayed their distance whenever it comes to him. I don't blame them. I would probably do the same too. Some thought they knew what was going on and made assumptions. Some supported me and some didn't. But the only one who saw something different in me than the rest of the crowd was my one friend I ditched that day. How could I do this?\n\nThat last day, sitting in his room as he cried. I stayed silent till he was ready to say his words before we officially end this. It was a long day after his graduation and dinner. I was exhausted to the max yet there I was with him listening to his cries. I had no more emotions left for him. I felt nothing more and nothing else for his dreadful tears. When he finally spoke, he asked me if I loved him (my friend). That has nothing to do with him, I thought. With my silence, gave him my answer. Then he wanted something else. My friend's number. \n\nI refused to give out my friend's number. A friend would not do that, especially when I just did the worst thing to a friend that very same day. How could I? I knew of his intentions and why he wanted the number. He assured me that he wasn't going to say or do anything bad once he gets the number. I refused many times. In my mind, I thought about how my friend would feel or think about how bad of a person I was if I had given his number to his terrible person he just saw go crazy today. \n\nI was not fortunate to have a mobile phone with me during these hard days but I remember my friends phone number by heart. He tried to get it out of me but I refused. This time, he didn't physically persuade or force me to give it out. Instead, he used his words assuring me nothing would happen. One thing for sure was if I did not give him my friend's phone number I would never leave. I would not see the end to this tiring relationship. \n\nSo I made a deal.",
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}mutysupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / he-thinks-i-m-easy-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story2018/04/20 04:20:21
mutysupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / he-thinks-i-m-easy-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story
2018/04/20 04:20:21
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}mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / he-thinks-i-m-easy-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story2018/04/19 19:56:33
mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / he-thinks-i-m-easy-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story
2018/04/19 19:56:33
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}mccvangpublished a new post: he-thinks-i-m-easy-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story2018/04/19 19:56:33
mccvangpublished a new post: he-thinks-i-m-easy-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story
2018/04/19 19:56:33
| parent author | |
| parent permlink | love |
| author | mccvang |
| permlink | he-thinks-i-m-easy-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story |
| title | He thinks I'm easy...In the Life: Domestic Violence Survivor Story |
| body | After dropping him off at his house in my shattered car that he ruined, he offered me a ticket to his High School graduation that evening. I didn't know that his graduation event was happening. He explained further that he wanted to come by my school campus afterschool unexpectedly to surprise me with the tickets to watch him walk the stage. I was not ecstatic. I was not happy and I was disappointed at what he did. But I was proud of him. It was best that I didn't attend his graduation. He granted that this was the last thing he wished for...for me to attend his graduation before officially leaving. As much as my heart said no, I thought to endure this last event with him as his wish and be gone forever. I took his wish and made it happened. The whole time, all I thought about what my friend who I left behind that same day without letting him know. I thought, "Maybe he's still waiting for me...maybe he thought I was selfish and a fool. Is he still there? Did he leave? He probably never wants to talk to me ever again. What kind of a friend would ditch them?" As we arrived at his graduation, I sat next to his family who had no idea what our deal was. I sat there patiently waiting for his moment to walk that stage. While everyone shouted with gladness and laughter, I was falling asleep. I could see him as I sat up in the high seats in the auditorium. But my eyes were giving up. I thought I could endure just a little more but I was so tire. I wasn't tire from the hectic day he gave me. I was tire from everything he put me through. It was draining my body's energy mentally, physically and emotionally. Falling asleep multiple times and having quick awakenings to the shouts and screams around me, it was finally his turn to walk the stage. That moment felt like forever but I was able to witness it like he had asked. I couldn't wait for this to end so I can drive home and check on my friend. The whole time I felt as though I my friend could start hating me too. As he walked that stage, I felt a feeling of relief. It was over. He knew and I knew that this was it. This was the end of both our torture. I wanted nothing from him and I mean nothing. The graduation event ended. His family and I stepped outside for pictures and congratulating him on his achievements. Yes, we were all proud. But I knew that in the back of both of our minds, he was sad. Our time was slowly coming to an end. He cried. Tears rolling down his face faster than I can count. The frown he had staring at me while they took pictures. His family counted those tears as tears of joy and happiness. But I knew what was going on in his head. The more he looked at me, the more I felt guilty. This was what this whole invitation to his graduation was about for me. It was so that I can have the guilt to take back my words about leaving him after seeing him in distress on his special day. The more he stared at me with those tears, the more I just can't stand it anymore. I didn't feel guilt but I was disappointed he wanted me to feel this way. Those tears could have teared me a part a long time ago but at that moment, those tears meant nothing compared to what I went through. I had to look away. Look into the grass, the sky....whatever but not look at him as he continued to stare into my eyes with those tears and his family members being around. He thought I was easy. He thought that with this trick, I would stick...so I walked away until the family happiness eased and we can all call it a day to go home. Instead, he insisted a last wish to attend a dinner celebration with his family for him and go back to his home for a 'nice' talk before we end. |
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"body": "After dropping him off at his house in my shattered car that he ruined, he offered me a ticket to his High School graduation that evening. I didn't know that his graduation event was happening. He explained further that he wanted to come by my school campus afterschool unexpectedly to surprise me with the tickets to watch him walk the stage. \n\nI was not ecstatic. I was not happy and I was disappointed at what he did. But I was proud of him. It was best that I didn't attend his graduation. He granted that this was the last thing he wished for...for me to attend his graduation before officially leaving. \n\nAs much as my heart said no, I thought to endure this last event with him as his wish and be gone forever. I took his wish and made it happened. The whole time, all I thought about what my friend who I left behind that same day without letting him know. I thought, \"Maybe he's still waiting for me...maybe he thought I was selfish and a fool. Is he still there? Did he leave? He probably never wants to talk to me ever again. What kind of a friend would ditch them?\" \n\nAs we arrived at his graduation, I sat next to his family who had no idea what our deal was. I sat there patiently waiting for his moment to walk that stage. While everyone shouted with gladness and laughter, I was falling asleep. I could see him as I sat up in the high seats in the auditorium. But my eyes were giving up. I thought I could endure just a little more but I was so tire. I wasn't tire from the hectic day he gave me. I was tire from everything he put me through. It was draining my body's energy mentally, physically and emotionally.\n\nFalling asleep multiple times and having quick awakenings to the shouts and screams around me, it was finally his turn to walk the stage. That moment felt like forever but I was able to witness it like he had asked. I couldn't wait for this to end so I can drive home and check on my friend. The whole time I felt as though I my friend could start hating me too. \n\nAs he walked that stage, I felt a feeling of relief. It was over. He knew and I knew that this was it. This was the end of both our torture. I wanted nothing from him and I mean nothing. \n\nThe graduation event ended. His family and I stepped outside for pictures and congratulating him on his achievements. Yes, we were all proud. But I knew that in the back of both of our minds, he was sad. Our time was slowly coming to an end. \n\nHe cried. Tears rolling down his face faster than I can count. The frown he had staring at me while they took pictures. His family counted those tears as tears of joy and happiness. But I knew what was going on in his head. The more he looked at me, the more I felt guilty. This was what this whole invitation to his graduation was about for me. It was so that I can have the guilt to take back my words about leaving him after seeing him in distress on his special day. \n\nThe more he stared at me with those tears, the more I just can't stand it anymore. I didn't feel guilt but I was disappointed he wanted me to feel this way. Those tears could have teared me a part a long time ago but at that moment, those tears meant nothing compared to what I went through. I had to look away. Look into the grass, the sky....whatever but not look at him as he continued to stare into my eyes with those tears and his family members being around. \n\nHe thought I was easy. He thought that with this trick, I would stick...so I walked away until the family happiness eased and we can all call it a day to go home. Instead, he insisted a last wish to attend a dinner celebration with his family for him and go back to his home for a 'nice' talk before we end.",
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}kirovvsergeupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / the-shouts-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d2018/04/18 12:35:12
kirovvsergeupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / the-shouts-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/18 12:35:12
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2018/04/18 12:35:03
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2018/04/18 04:43:33
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}mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / the-shouts-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d2018/04/18 04:11:27
mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / the-shouts-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/18 04:11:27
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}mccvangpublished a new post: the-shouts-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d2018/04/18 04:11:27
mccvangpublished a new post: the-shouts-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/18 04:11:27
| parent author | |
| parent permlink | love |
| author | mccvang |
| permlink | the-shouts-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d |
| title | The shouts...In the Life: Domestic Violence Survivor Story cont'd. |
| body | What a great night of rest and sleep without tears, shame, and fear! I forgot what it was like to sleep peacefully. For the first time in a long while, I went to school in the morning feeling like I was on cloud nine. I was able to embrace the cold breeze in that morning spring and .... smile. I smiled. I smiled at the trees, at my neighbors, at my friends, my colleagues and teachers and every little thing I saw. This was something different as I usually would look away from people...from the world. I treasure this moment like it was my last. I interacted with folks I shut out for a long time. And I finally got to say "Hi" to my friend that I cast away who I was trying to protect from. We started talking that whole day again. It was like starting all over again. Butterflies in my tummy appeared and I forgot how good that felt. To just feel being 'loved'. My friend and I hung out all day! It was amazing! I didn't care if people who knew my crazy ex boyfriend at the time thought when they saw me hanging out with my friend at school. I see their stares and all I could do was shrug my shoulders. I was happy. I was done hiding. My happy day came to an end too soon. He appeared at my school unexpectedly. Something I never thought he would do. My friend and I were still having a fun conversation on campus when he appeared, looking right at us my our eyes...furious at what he just saw. I stood still...still as a statue..not knowing what to do. Do I go out there where he was or do I stay put and hold my ground? You bet! I stood still. I dared not move from where I was standing with my friend. He walked away after seeing what happened. I thought he left for good. He came back to peek a second time at my conversation with my friend. Again, I stood still. He rolled his eyes at me to follow him. I was confused at what he wanted and what he was going to do. I quietly step aside from my friend to the corner to see what he wanted. I thought I was in a safe area because we were still on school grounds. Teachers and other students were still around. We weren't alone. But he dared made a scene anyway. His eyes were grunted and his lips knitted closely tight together as if he were about to hit someone. And...he shouted very loud at me in front of everyone as if no one was there. I didn't pay attention to what he was saying to me because I was more worried about what others around me would think and what they may see. I remember the words coming from his mouth was the usual hateful words he always used. His inappropriate shouts didn't end. It took a teacher to come out from a classroom to kindly as him to leave. Even then, he yelled at the teacher inappropriately. I had to take away. I dragged him from all that scene where everyone was staring. I was embarrassed. The girl who showed up at school all cheerful and ready to start the day ended up being the one everyone looked at as "the girl with all the problems." I told him I would leave with him if he just stopped and followed me. I never went back to say "bye" or "I'm sorry" to my friend. I just left him there and I didn't want him to think I left without saying anything even though he heard and saw everything. While dragging him away from my school campus, he wouldn't stop the shouting and continued. It was the most embarrassing moment for me as a student and seeing how others viewed me. |
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"body": "What a great night of rest and sleep without tears, shame, and fear!\n\nI forgot what it was like to sleep peacefully. For the first time in a long while, I went to school in the morning feeling like I was on cloud nine. I was able to embrace the cold breeze in that morning spring and .... smile. I smiled. I smiled at the trees, at my neighbors, at my friends, my colleagues and teachers and every little thing I saw. This was something different as I usually would look away from people...from the world. \n\nI treasure this moment like it was my last. I interacted with folks I shut out for a long time. And I finally got to say \"Hi\" to my friend that I cast away who I was trying to protect from. We started talking that whole day again. It was like starting all over again. Butterflies in my tummy appeared and I forgot how good that felt. To just feel being 'loved'.\n\nMy friend and I hung out all day! It was amazing! I didn't care if people who knew my crazy ex boyfriend at the time thought when they saw me hanging out with my friend at school. I see their stares and all I could do was shrug my shoulders. I was happy. I was done hiding. \n\nMy happy day came to an end too soon. He appeared at my school unexpectedly. Something I never thought he would do. \n\nMy friend and I were still having a fun conversation on campus when he appeared, looking right at us my our eyes...furious at what he just saw. \n\nI stood still...still as a statue..not knowing what to do. Do I go out there where he was or do I stay put and hold my ground?\n\nYou bet! I stood still. I dared not move from where I was standing with my friend. He walked away after seeing what happened. I thought he left for good.\n\nHe came back to peek a second time at my conversation with my friend. Again, I stood still. He rolled his eyes at me to follow him. I was confused at what he wanted and what he was going to do. I quietly step aside from my friend to the corner to see what he wanted. I thought I was in a safe area because we were still on school grounds. Teachers and other students were still around. We weren't alone. \n\nBut he dared made a scene anyway. His eyes were grunted and his lips knitted closely tight together as if he were about to hit someone. And...he shouted very loud at me in front of everyone as if no one was there. I didn't pay attention to what he was saying to me because I was more worried about what others around me would think and what they may see. I remember the words coming from his mouth was the usual hateful words he always used. His inappropriate shouts didn't end. \n\nIt took a teacher to come out from a classroom to kindly as him to leave. Even then, he yelled at the teacher inappropriately. I had to take away. I dragged him from all that scene where everyone was staring. I was embarrassed. \n\nThe girl who showed up at school all cheerful and ready to start the day ended up being the one everyone looked at as \"the girl with all the problems.\"\n\nI told him I would leave with him if he just stopped and followed me. I never went back to say \"bye\" or \"I'm sorry\" to my friend. I just left him there and I didn't want him to think I left without saying anything even though he heard and saw everything. \n\nWhile dragging him away from my school campus, he wouldn't stop the shouting and continued. It was the most embarrassing moment for me as a student and seeing how others viewed me.",
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2018/04/17 01:24:36
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2018/04/17 01:24:33
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2018/04/17 01:24:33
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2018/04/16 18:53:12
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2018/04/16 18:50:24
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}thojyaajupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-part-42018/04/16 17:19:21
thojyaajupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-part-4
2018/04/16 17:19:21
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}thojyaajupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-part-22018/04/16 17:14:00
thojyaajupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-part-2
2018/04/16 17:14:00
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}thojyaajupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story2018/04/16 17:06:33
thojyaajupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story
2018/04/16 17:06:33
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thojyaajupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/16 17:03:06
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}mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / glasses-shattered-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d2018/04/16 17:00:54
mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / glasses-shattered-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/16 17:00:54
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mccvangpublished a new post: glasses-shattered-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/16 17:00:54
| parent author | |
| parent permlink | love |
| author | mccvang |
| permlink | glasses-shattered-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d |
| title | Glasses shattered...In the Life: Domestic Violence Survivor Story cont'd. |
| body | In that gloomy day there was fire in his eyes. Not rain, not tears, not cold...but heat. As I try to quickly reverse the car to back out from his parking lot and looked back in front of me, he lifted a large 20 gallon fish tank stored at the side of home and tossed it at my car windshield. I shut my eyes real hard. After a quick second, I opened my eyes again to see glass shattered all around me outside my car. Luckily, my windshield stayed strong and no major damaged happened to my car. I kept driving. I drove and drove not knowing where I was going but I drove off. I speed like I never did before. As I drove, I thought about what just happened and how frightened I was with what just happened and what else could've happen had I not locked my car door before he came to my side of the car. My heart pounded so hard. I thought my heart fell and never came back up but I still felt my heart beating. I was alive. Everything happened so fast, I was scared for my life. That was when I realized how precious and how much I loved myself. I protected myself for the first time and escaped. I was proud of myself at least for a very good minute, until my cell phone rang. All I received was texts and voicemails of hate and inappropriate words. But those words and voicemails didn't get to me. I drove home after driving around town not knowing where I was going for almost an hour. I made sure he wasn't there. As I quickly parked the car in the driveway to hurry inside the door, my car door was stuck. My side of the car door wouldn't open. He had damaged my car door by trying to force me out of the car earlier. I climbed to the passenger side to get out of my car. My rear-view mirror was also broken. I knew I would hear it from my dad about the damages to the car...but I did not mind one bit, because I was safe. I was finally, for once, home safe and sound. That lasted for a good day and a good night. |
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"body": "In that gloomy day there was fire in his eyes. Not rain, not tears, not cold...but heat.\n\nAs I try to quickly reverse the car to back out from his parking lot and looked back in front of me, he lifted a large 20 gallon fish tank stored at the side of home and tossed it at my car windshield. I shut my eyes real hard. \n\nAfter a quick second, I opened my eyes again to see glass shattered all around me outside my car. Luckily, my windshield stayed strong and no major damaged happened to my car. \n\nI kept driving. I drove and drove not knowing where I was going but I drove off. I speed like I never did before. As I drove, I thought about what just happened and how frightened I was with what just happened and what else could've happen had I not locked my car door before he came to my side of the car. My heart pounded so hard. I thought my heart fell and never came back up but I still felt my heart beating. I was alive. \n\nEverything happened so fast, I was scared for my life. That was when I realized how precious and how much I loved myself. I protected myself for the first time and escaped. I was proud of myself at least for a very good minute, until my cell phone rang. \n\nAll I received was texts and voicemails of hate and inappropriate words. But those words and voicemails didn't get to me. I drove home after driving around town not knowing where I was going for almost an hour. I made sure he wasn't there. As I quickly parked the car in the driveway to hurry inside the door, my car door was stuck. My side of the car door wouldn't open. \n\nHe had damaged my car door by trying to force me out of the car earlier. I climbed to the passenger side to get out of my car. My rear-view mirror was also broken. \n\nI knew I would hear it from my dad about the damages to the car...but I did not mind one bit, because I was safe. I was finally, for once, home safe and sound. \n\nThat lasted for a good day and a good night.",
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}andreisemupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d2018/04/14 11:55:57
andreisemupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/14 11:55:57
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2018/04/14 11:55:54
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babkowayaupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/14 11:55:54
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2018/04/14 11:55:51
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2018/04/14 11:55:45
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}antuevupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d2018/04/14 11:55:45
antuevupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/14 11:55:45
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}artymupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d2018/04/14 11:55:42
artymupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/14 11:55:42
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2018/04/14 11:55:42
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}cartourupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d2018/04/14 11:55:39
cartourupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/14 11:55:39
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}mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d2018/04/14 03:32:42
mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/14 03:32:42
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}mccvangpublished a new post: a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d2018/04/14 03:32:42
mccvangpublished a new post: a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/14 03:32:42
| parent author | |
| parent permlink | hate |
| author | mccvang |
| permlink | a-broken-window-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d |
| title | A broken window...In the Life: Domestic Violence Survivor Story cont'd. |
| body | The sky was dark and gray. The gloomy and cold day predicted my future. It was Spring time but no flowers bloomed. The trees were still emptied and so was my heart. Spring was my favorite time of the year where cherry blossoms appeared and the fresh cool air in the morning was what I looked forward to every year. Not that year. I've had it! It was officially time to let it all go with the wind. Things took its toll as usual. I already knew what was coming although something new always hits me; I was prepared. This time, things went violent. There was shouting and screaming and endless tears from him. All I could feel at the moment was the cold air in that gloomy day along with how cold his heart was. I had no sense of emotions left for him and for me just like the season. I was not in my right place just like that gloomy day in spring season. He came over. I told him to return home. Of course, that didn't work. I took him home hoping that nothing crazy would occur in my neighborhood, knowing he would act up if I didn't do as he says. Driving in my car with him next to me, I was scared. I knew that dropping him off was not going to be easy but I rather risk this idea than let him go nuts where my family was. Ok...to be honest...I also didn't want my family involved or know what was bound to happen. And I wanted to figure this out myself which I thought was brave of me. As we approach to the side street of his home, I refused to enter. I remained in the car. He wouldn't get out. I yelled that he must leave. We were done! That brought fire to his eyes. He got out as fast as he could to come to the driver side where I was sitting just to open my door and drag me out. He was trying to force me out of my car, my only protection from him, physically. I quickly locked all my doors before he got my side of door in seconds. I turned my engine on as fast as I could and started reversing out. To my surprise, he didn't block me as I was looking back to reverse out of his parking space. But I didn't pay attention to what was in front of me and that scared me. |
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2018/04/11 10:47:09
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2018/04/11 10:47:06
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2018/04/11 10:46:33
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2018/04/11 02:23:18
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}mccvangpublished a new post: and-he-wouldn-t-let-go-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d2018/04/11 02:23:18
mccvangpublished a new post: and-he-wouldn-t-let-go-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d
2018/04/11 02:23:18
| parent author | |
| parent permlink | life |
| author | mccvang |
| permlink | and-he-wouldn-t-let-go-in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-cont-d |
| title | And he wouldn't let go...In the Life: Domestic Violence Survivor Story cont'd. |
| body | Breaking the news to him was not easy for him to handle. He became even more overly obsessive due to the fact that things between us was going to change. His personality to this attitude and actions changed quickly in terms to see if I will change my mind. I was not turning back no matter what. I stuck to my words and as I do thunder strike. My friend was in trouble. He thought my decision was based off of my friend talking to me. Things were not looking better even after I gave him the awful news. I had to protect my friend. There was no way I'd let him be involved in my crazy life with unhealthy relationship. I drove him away. I lied in ways I shouldn't to let him go. I lied to him that I am happy and that I was better. Deep inside was what I wish I would've told him in honesty that I was ok and that I am happy. I was not turning back. Again, that struck him with surprise that even after driving my friend away, I remained the same with my decision to leave. The threats keep coming and the hate turned into anger. I was in deep distressed. I screamed to leave me alone. But I was not alone. Soon, I saw blood on the floor. My nose started to bleed. I can't even remember how the blood got there. Oh yeah, it was because he punched me in the face. I saw stars around me for the first time. He thought that I would be scared to lose my life if I lose him. No. It made me stronger. I was scared at the moment not knowing that that punch could've been my last breath. But I woke up. Everything was a blur. I wanted to end this and that was it! |
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"body": "Breaking the news to him was not easy for him to handle. He became even more overly obsessive due to the fact that things between us was going to change. His personality to this attitude and actions changed quickly in terms to see if I will change my mind. \n\nI was not turning back no matter what. I stuck to my words and as I do thunder strike. My friend was in trouble. He thought my decision was based off of my friend talking to me. Things were not looking better even after I gave him the awful news. \n\nI had to protect my friend. There was no way I'd let him be involved in my crazy life with unhealthy relationship. I drove him away. I lied in ways I shouldn't to let him go. I lied to him that I am happy and that I was better. Deep inside was what I wish I would've told him in honesty that I was ok and that I am happy. \n\nI was not turning back. Again, that struck him with surprise that even after driving my friend away, I remained the same with my decision to leave. The threats keep coming and the hate turned into anger. I was in deep distressed. I screamed to leave me alone. But I was not alone. Soon, I saw blood on the floor. My nose started to bleed. I can't even remember how the blood got there. Oh yeah, it was because he punched me in the face. I saw stars around me for the first time. \n\nHe thought that I would be scared to lose my life if I lose him. No. It made me stronger. I was scared at the moment not knowing that that punch could've been my last breath. But I woke up. Everything was a blur. \n\nI wanted to end this and that was it!",
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}mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-part-52018/03/28 04:42:36
mccvangupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-part-5
2018/03/28 04:42:36
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}mccvangpublished a new post: in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-part-52018/03/28 04:42:36
mccvangpublished a new post: in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-part-5
2018/03/28 04:42:36
| parent author | |
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| author | mccvang |
| permlink | in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-part-5 |
| title | In the Life: Domestic Violence Survivor Story Part 5 |
| body | Life was going to get much harder as I stuck through this torture. My life was falling apart. My soul and myself was beginning to come apart. All I would constantly feel for myself was blame and hate. I was unhappy all the time and felt suicidal. I started cutting myself. I didn't feel deserving of anything and anyone. I felt alone and hopeless. There was nothing left for me in this world as I continuously kept up with the pain of this unhealthy relationship I thought was love. I thought, "If this is really what love was, then I don't want any of it. Love is pain" was all I ever had with him. As I reflected and contemplated about my unhealthy relationship, I wondered how other relationships can be so loving and calm and really affectionate. I look at others and envied. I eventually wanted what they had and wonder why things didn't happen to me the same way. As soon as I when I wanted to give up and accept that all that was happening to me was deserving of me and all that I have, maybe it was my luck, maybe this was it for me, a 'good' type of love was never for me - a miracle that was always with me happened. My then friend, now husband, came to the rescue. I know it sounds cliche and sounds like a novel you would read where the hero comes to rescue the poor girl. But this was exactly like how it happened. A story that you would read about or hear of; a fairytale. But this was my fairytale. You may wonder where did my then friend, now husband, was. Well, that's its own segment. You see, we've met in the early years of high school but things never really sparked. Not either of us knew of what our future was going to be like. I didn't know my hero was with all along as I stuck through the torture of my unhealthy relationship. My husband had not a clue at the time what I was going through till we broke the ice together. Soon, I started chatting with my friend (now husband) through text and instant messaging. This became a BIG problem. However, this saved me. Right when I thought my world ended, I realized, it was just the beginning to something so much better. I was young. I have a whole life to look forward to. Although I was in contact with my friend and new feelings sparked, things on the other end didn't look too pretty. Of course, I knew he would find out. Of course, I knew that I was putting my friend in danger because he knew that I was talking with another person. In this 'on and off relationship' I was exhausted and took the green light to stop all the abuse that was happening in the relationship. And when I took the opportunity to shut off (break up) what happened between us, I knew what to expect from him. It was the usual "I couldn't go home" "Take my word back" etc from him. I was then hit, smack, slapped...all the above but I stuck with my decision to never look back. He was not having any of it. Then he took it out on my friend, knowing it would get me mad, in which it did. I never intended for this happen to my friend or wanted him to be in danger because of me so I protected him as much as I could until my friend protected me for me. |
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"body": "Life was going to get much harder as I stuck through this torture. My life was falling apart. My soul and myself was beginning to come apart. All I would constantly feel for myself was blame and hate. I was unhappy all the time and felt suicidal. I started cutting myself. I didn't feel deserving of anything and anyone. I felt alone and hopeless. There was nothing left for me in this world as I continuously kept up with the pain of this unhealthy relationship I thought was love. \n\nI thought, \"If this is really what love was, then I don't want any of it. Love is pain\" was all I ever had with him. As I reflected and contemplated about my unhealthy relationship, I wondered how other relationships can be so loving and calm and really affectionate. I look at others and envied. I eventually wanted what they had and wonder why things didn't happen to me the same way. \n\nAs soon as I when I wanted to give up and accept that all that was happening to me was deserving of me and all that I have, maybe it was my luck, maybe this was it for me, a 'good' type of love was never for me - a miracle that was always with me happened. My then friend, now husband, came to the rescue. \n\nI know it sounds cliche and sounds like a novel you would read where the hero comes to rescue the poor girl. But this was exactly like how it happened. A story that you would read about or hear of; a fairytale. But this was my fairytale. \n\nYou may wonder where did my then friend, now husband, was. Well, that's its own segment. You see, we've met in the early years of high school but things never really sparked. Not either of us knew of what our future was going to be like. I didn't know my hero was with all along as I stuck through the torture of my unhealthy relationship. My husband had not a clue at the time what I was going through till we broke the ice together. \n\nSoon, I started chatting with my friend (now husband) through text and instant messaging. This became a BIG problem. However, this saved me. Right when I thought my world ended, I realized, it was just the beginning to something so much better. I was young. I have a whole life to look forward to. \n\nAlthough I was in contact with my friend and new feelings sparked, things on the other end didn't look too pretty. Of course, I knew he would find out. Of course, I knew that I was putting my friend in danger because he knew that I was talking with another person. In this 'on and off relationship' I was exhausted and took the green light to stop all the abuse that was happening in the relationship. And when I took the opportunity to shut off (break up) what happened between us, I knew what to expect from him. It was the usual \"I couldn't go home\" \"Take my word back\" etc from him. \n\nI was then hit, smack, slapped...all the above but I stuck with my decision to never look back. He was not having any of it. Then he took it out on my friend, knowing it would get me mad, in which it did. I never intended for this happen to my friend or wanted him to be in danger because of me so I protected him as much as I could until my friend protected me for me.",
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}sensationupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-part-42018/03/21 04:54:21
sensationupvoted (100.00%) @mccvang / in-the-life-domestic-violence-survivor-story-part-4
2018/03/21 04:54:21
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