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      "body": "巴黎圣母院曾经有一位古老的教士，他住在帕尔维斯圣皮埃尔奥博夫斯附近的一所漂亮房子里。这个教规是一位朴素的牧师来到巴黎，赤身裸体，就像一把没有鞘的匕首。但是，由于人们发现他是个英俊的男人，装备精良，身体也很好，如果有必要，他可以做很多人的工作，而不会对自己造成太大的伤害，所以他认真地接受了女士们的忏悔。 ，给忧郁的人一个温和的赦免，给病人一剂药膏，给所有的小小美人。他以谨慎、仁慈和其他教会品质而闻名，以至于他在宫廷有顾客。然后，为了不引起官员、丈夫和其他人的嫉妒，简而言之，为了赋予这些良好而有益的做法神圣性，德斯奎德夫人给了他一根圣维克多的骨头，所有的人都以此为基础。奇迹发生了。对好奇的人说：“他有一根骨头可以治愈一切；”而对此，也没有人找到任何可以回答的东西，因为这似乎不是遗物的嫌疑。在袈裟的阴影下，这位好神父享有最高的声誉，就像一个在武器下勇敢的人。所以他活得像个国王。他用圣水赚钱；洒上它，将圣水转化为美酒。更重要的是，他的名字在公证人的所有等等中，在遗嘱或 caudicils 中，某些人错误地写了 CODICIL，看到这个词来自马尾，好像在说遗产的尾巴。事实上，如果他只是开玩笑地说“我想戴一个斜接手帕，以使我的头部暖和”，那位善良的老长裙就会被任命为大主教。在提供给他的所有福利中，他只选择了一个简单的佳能摊位来保留忏悔室的丰厚利润。但有一天，这位勇敢的正典发现自己在背后软弱无力，因为他已经六十八岁了，并且已经举行了许多忏悔。再想想自己所有的善行，他认为是时候停止他的使徒工作了，更何况，他拥有大约十万克朗，是用自己的汗水赚来的。从那天起，他只招供贵妇，而且做得很好。所以在宫廷里​​有人说，尽管最优秀的年轻办事员努力工作，但除了圣皮埃尔·奥·博夫斯的佳能外，没有人能适当地漂白一位有条件的女士的灵魂。最后，卡农自然而然地变成了一个优秀的九九岁老人，头顶白雪皑皑，双手颤抖，但方正如塔，吐了这么多口水却没有咳嗽，现在他咳嗽得吐不出来了。他不再从椅子上站起来，他经常为人类站起来；但喝干了，吃得酣畅淋漓，一言不发，一副巴黎圣母院活生生的样子。看到上述经典的静止；看到他在平民中流传了一段时间的邪恶生活的故事，总是一无所知；见其愚昧隐居，健康之旺盛，年迈之年，等等不胜枚举——有人干出奇事，伤害我们的圣教，四处说正经早已死去，五十多年来，魔鬼一直占据着老牧师的身体。事实上，在他以前的顾客看来，魔鬼似乎只能靠他的大热才能提供这些密封的蒸馏物，他们记得是从这位善良的忏悔者那里得到的，他总是有可治愈的 au corps。但由于这个魔鬼无疑是被他们煮熟和毁掉的，而且对于一个二十年的女王来说，他不会感动，好脾气的人和那些没有理智的人，或者争论一切的公民，发现虱子的人光头，质问魔鬼为何以教规的形式安息，在教规通常进行的时间前往圣母教堂，甚至冒险闻香的香味，品尝圣水，和其他一千件事。对于这些异端的主张，有人说，魔鬼无疑是想皈依自己，而另一些人则说，他仍然以教规的形式嘲笑这位勇敢的忏悔者的三个侄子和继承人，让他们等到自己死去的那一天因为这位叔叔的大量继承，他们每天都非常关注他，去看看这个好人有没有睁开眼睛，事实上发现他的眼睛总是像蛇怪的眼睛一样清澈、明亮、锐利，这让他们非常高兴，因为他们非常爱他们的叔叔——用言语来表达。关于这个问题，一位老妇人说教规肯定是魔鬼，因为他的两个侄子，检察官和船长，晚上在没有灯或灯笼的情况下带领他们的叔叔，从监狱的晚餐回来，导致了他 不小心跌倒在一堆聚集的石头上\n一起举起圣克里斯托弗的雕像。起初，老人摔倒时着火了，但是，在他亲爱的侄子的哭声中，在他们到她家寻找的火炬的光芒下，发现他站得笔直，像一个吃喝玩乐，像一个编织的漩涡一样欢快，感叹监狱的好酒给了他承受这种冲击的勇气，他的骨头异常坚硬，遭受了粗鲁的攻击。好侄子们相信他已经死了，大为吃惊，并意识到要派遣他们的叔叔的日子还很遥远，因为在商业上，石头是没有用的。这样他们才不会误称他为好叔叔，因为他的素质很好。某些流言蜚语的人说，佳能在他的道路上发现了很多石头，以至于他呆在家里不被石头生病，害怕更糟是他隐居的原因。在所有这些说法和谣言中，仍然是旧的佳能，不管是不是魔鬼，保住了自己的房子，拒绝死去，并且有三个继承人，他和他的坐骨神经痛、腰痛和其他人类生命的附属物一起生活。在这三个继承人中，一个是有史以来最邪恶的女人所生的士兵，他打碎卵子一定对她造成了很大的伤害，因为他生来就有牙齿和鬃毛。所以他吃，现在和将来的两倍，他支付了费用的小妞；从他的叔叔那里继承了对经常有用的东西的持续、力量和善用。在伟大的战斗中，他总是竭力不接受打击，这是而且永远是战争中唯一需要解决的问题，但他从不放过自己，事实上，因为他除了自己的德行之外没有其他美德他英勇无畏，是一支长枪连队的队长，深受伯戈因公爵的尊敬，他从不打扰他的士兵在其他地方所做的事情。这个魔鬼的侄子名叫科切格鲁船长。他的债权人、笨蛋、公民和其他人，他的口袋被他切开，他们称他为毛辛格，因为他既顽皮又强壮。但他的背部由于驼峰的自然虚弱而受损，试图骑上它以获得良好的视野是不明智的，因为他会无可争辩地把你穿过。第二个研究过法律，并且通过他叔叔的宠爱成了检察官，在皇宫里做事，在那里他为女士们做生意，从前教规对这些女士们的表白是最好的。这个人叫皮尔格鲁，取笑他的真名，科切格鲁，就像他的兄弟船长一样。皮尔格鲁身材消瘦，泼冷水似的，脸色苍白，相貌像鸡貂。尽管如此，他的身价比船长多一分钱，给舅舅一点儿钱。感情，但大约两年来，他的心已经有点裂了，他的感激之情一点一点地耗尽，以至于时不时地，当空气潮湿时，他喜欢把脚伸进叔叔的软管里，并提前榨取这份好遗产的汁液。他和他的兄弟，士兵发现他们的份额很小，因为忠诚，在法律上，事实上，在正义上，在自然上，在现实中，有必要把所有东西的三分之一给一个可怜的表弟，另一个人的儿子佳能的妹妹，他的继承人，被好人所爱，留在乡下，他是一个牧羊人，靠近南泰尔。__野兽的守护者，一个普通的农民，在他的两个堂兄的建议下来到了城里，谁把他安置在他们叔叔的房子里，希望他愚蠢的把戏和笨拙、缺乏头脑和无知也会让教规不高兴，教规会把他踢出自己的意志。现在这个可怜的 Chiquon，正如牧羊人的名字一样，已经和他的叔叔单独生活了大约一个月，他发现照顾一个方丈比照顾羊更有好处或更多的乐趣，他把自己变成了教规的狗，他的仆人，他的工作人员。他年老时说：“上帝保佑你”，当他通过风时，“​​上帝保佑你”，当他打喷嚏时，“上帝保佑你”，当他打嗝时；去看看是否下雨了，猫在哪里，保持沉默，倾听，说话，接受老人脸上的咳嗽，钦佩他是世界上最好的经典，全心全意，真诚地，知道他是按照动物清洁幼崽的方式舔他的；叔叔根本不知道面包是在哪边涂黄油的，他击退了可怜的奇昆，让他像死了一样转过身来，总是叫他奇昆，总是对他的其他侄子说，这个奇昆是在帮助杀死他。 ，他就是这样一个笨蛋。于是，奇群听了这话，下定决心要跟叔叔好好过，不解自己的悟性要表现得更好；但由于他的背部形状像一对南瓜，肩膀很宽，拉尔  他四肢发达，一点也不锋利，他更像是老西勒努斯，而不是温和的和风。其实穷\n牧羊人，一个单纯的人，无法改造自己，所以他仍然又大又胖，等待他的遗产让自己变瘦。一天晚上，教规开始谈论魔鬼和上帝所遭受的严重痛苦、苦修、折磨等会为被诅咒的人感到温暖，善良的奇昆听到它，开始睁大眼睛，眼睛睁得像烤箱的门一样大，听到这个声明，一个字也不相信。 “什么，”教规说，“你是什么？不是基督徒吗？” “是的，”奇昆答道。“好吧，善人有天堂；恶人不需要地狱吗？” “是的，卡农先生；但魔鬼属于没用。如果你这里有一个把一切都颠倒过来的坏人，你不会把他踢出家门吗？世界，他如此奇怪地构建，一个可恶的魔鬼，他的特殊任务就是为他破坏一切。呸！如果有一个善良的上帝，我认不出任何魔鬼；你可能取决于此。我应该很想见见魔鬼。哈哈！我不怕他的爪子！” “如果我是你的意见，我应该不会关心我非常年轻的岁月，我每天至少要忏悔十次。” “再次忏悔，卡农先生。我向你保证，那将是至高无上的宝贵功德。” “好了，好了！你是认真的吗？” “是的，卡农先生。” “你不害怕，奇昆，否认魔鬼吗？” “我只关心一捆玉米。” “教义会给你带来不幸。”“绝不。上帝会保护我免受魔鬼的伤害，因为我相信他比大草原人认为他更有学问，也不那么愚蠢。”于是另外两个侄子进来了，从教规的声音中看出他并不是很讨厌奇昆，而且他对他所做的杰里米德只是掩饰他对他的感情的简单伎俩，他们非常惊讶地看着对方。然后，看到他们的叔叔在笑，他们对他说：“如果你愿意给谁立遗嘱，你会离开这所房子吗？“去 Chiquon。”“还有圣丹尼斯街的零用租金？”“去 Chiquon。”“还有 Ville Parisis 的封地？”“去 Chiquon。”“但是，”船长说，用他的洪亮的声音，“那么一切都将是 Chiquon 的。” “不，”卡农笑着回答，“因为我会以适当的形式制定我的遗嘱，继承将是你们三个中最敏锐的人；我是离未来不远，我可以在其中清楚地看到你的命运。”狡猾的卡农向奇昆投去充满恶意的一瞥，就像诱饵一样rd 会扔在一个小家伙身上，把他拉进她的网里。",
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      "body": "Hello welcome to Steemit world! \n I'm @steem.history, who is steem witness. \n This is a recommended post for you.[Newcomers Guide](https://steemitdev.com/guide/@steemitblog/steemit-a-guide-for-newcomers) and [The Complete Steemit Etiquette Guide (Revision 2.0)](https://steemit.com/steem/@steem.history/the-complete-steemit-etiquette-guide-revision-20-homage-1598425779) and, recommended community [Newcomers Community](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-172186) \n I wish you luck to your steemit activities.<center> \n \n \n https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXHwdcNs5VPcBft1iSosPdHLpBNBfjuG84g3ffWhMw5JQ/image.png \n <sub>(The bots avatar has been created using https://robohash.org/)</sub> \n @steem.history \n \n ### My witness activity \n - [My aspiration for STEEM witness](https://steemit.com/hive-185836/@steem.history/my-aspiration-for-steem-witness-1601280729) \n - Provides information on Steem.  \n [Reference](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-130095) \n - Supporting the Steem project. \n [SPUD4STEEM project](https://steemit.com/trending/spud4steem) \n - Supporting the community. \n [Newcomers Community](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-172186),[Steem Sri Lanka](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-133716) ,[WORLD OF XPILAR](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-185836), [GLOBAL STEEM](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-145160), [Scouts](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-181136), [Latino Community](https://steemit.com/trending/hive-188619) \n \n ### My featured posts \n - [The Complete Steemit Etiquette Guide (Revision 2.0) -Homage](https://steemit.com/steem/@steem.history/the-complete-steemit-etiquette-guide-revision-20-homage-1598425779) \n \n [![image.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmd7of2TpLGqvckkrReWahnkxMWH6eMg5upXesfsujDCnW/image.png)](https://steemlogin.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steem.history&amp;approve=1) \n <sub>please click it!</sub> \n \n ![image.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWDnFh7Kcgj2gdPc5RgG9Cezc4Bapq8sQQJvrkxR8rx5z/image.png) \n <sub>(Go to https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type fbslo at the bottom of the page)</sub> \n \n </center>",
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      "author": "markokitch",
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      "title": "The Devil’s Heir",
      "body": "There once was a good old canon of Notre Dame de Paris, who lived in a fine house of his own, near St. Pierre-aux-Boeufs, in the Parvis. This canon had come a simple priest to Paris, naked as a dagger without its sheath. But since he was found to be a handsome man, well furnished with everything, and so well constituted, that if necessary he was able to do the work of many, without doing himself much harm, he gave himself up earnestly to the confessing of ladies, giving to the melancholy a gentle absolution, to the sick a drachm of his balm, to all some little dainty. He was so well known for his discretion, his benevolence, and other ecclesiastical qualities, that he had customers at Court. Then in order not to awaken the jealousy of the officials, that of the husbands and others, in short, to endow with sanctity these good and profitable practices, the Lady Desquerdes gave him a bone of St. Victor, by virtue of which all the miracles were performed. And to the curious it was said, \"He has a bone which will cure everything;\" and to this, no one found anything to reply, because it was not seemly to suspect relics. Beneath the shade of his cassock, the good priest had the best of reputations, that of a man valiant under arms. So he lived like a king. He made money with holy water; sprinkled it and transmitted the holy water into good wine. More than that, his name lay snugly in all the et ceteras of the notaries, in wills or in caudicils, which certain people have falsely written CODICIL, seeing that the word isderived from cauda, as if to say the tail of the legacy. In fact, the good old Long Skirts would have been made an archbishop if he had only said in joke, \"I should like to put on a mitre for a handkerchief in order to have my head warmer.\" Of all the benefices offered to him, he chose only a simple canon's stall to keep the good profits of the confessional. But one day the courageous canon found himself weak in the back, seeing that he was all sixty-eight years old, and had held many confessionals. Then thinking over all his good works, he thought it about time to cease his apostolic labours, the more so, as he possessed about one hundred thousand crowns earned by the sweat of his body. From that day he only confessed ladies of high lineage, and did it very well. So that it was said at Court that in spite of the efforts of the best young clerks there was still no one but the Canon of St. Pierre-aux-Boeufs to properly bleach the soul of a lady of condition. Then at length the canon became by force of naturea fine nonagenarian, snowy about the head, with trembling hands, but square as a tower, having spat so much without coughing, that he coughed now without being able to spit; no longer rising from his chair, he who had so often risen for humanity; but drinking dry, eating heartily, saying nothing, but having all the appearance of a living Canon of Notre Dame. Seeing the immobility of the aforesaid canon; seeing the stories of his evil life which for some time had circulated among the common people, always ignorant; seeing his dumb seclusion, his flourishing health, his young old age, and other things too numerous to mention--there were certain people who to do the marvellous and injure our holy religion, went about saying that the true canon was long since dead, and that for more than fifty years the devil had taken possession of the old priest's body. In fact, it seemed to his former customers that the devil could only by his great heat have furnished these hermetic distillations, that they remembered to have obtained on demand from this good confessor, who always had le diable au corps. But as this devil had been undoubtedly cooked and ruined by them, and that for a queen of twenty years he would not have moved, well-disposed people and those not wanting in sense, or the citizens who argued about everything, people who found lice in bald heads, demanded why the devil rested under the form of a canon, went to the Church of Notre Dame at the hours when the canons usually go, and ventured so far as to sniff the perfume of the incense, taste the holy water, and a thousand other things. To these heretical propositions some said that doubtless the devil wished to convert himself, and others that he remained in the shape of the canon to mock at the three nephews and heirs of this said brave confessor and make them wait until the day of their own death for the ample succession of this uncle, to whom they paid great attention every day, going to look if the good man had his eyes open, and in fact found him always with his eye clear, bright, and piercing as the eye of a basilisk, which pleased them greatly, since they loved their uncle very much--in words. On this subject an old woman related that for certain the canon was the devil, because his two nephews, the procureurand the captain, conducting their uncle at night, without a lamp, or lantern, returning from a supper at the penitentiary's, had caused him by accident to tumble over a heap of stones gathered\ntogether to raise the statue of St. Christopher. At first the old man had struck fire in falling, but was, amid the cries of his dear nephews and by the light of the torches they came to seek at her house found standing up as straight as a skittle and as gay as a weaving whirl, exclaiming that the good wine of the penitentiary had given him the courage to sustain this shock and that his bones were exceedingly hard and had sustained rude assaults. The good nephews believing him dead, were much astonished, and perceived that the day that was to dispatch their uncle was a long way off, seeing that at the business stones were of no use. So that they did not falsely call him their good uncle, seeing that he was of good quality. Certain scandalmongers said that the canon found so many stones in his path that he stayed at home not to be ill with the stone, and the fear of worse was the cause of his seclusion.Of all these sayings and rumours, it remains that the old canon, devil or not, kept his house, and refused to die, and had three heirs with whom he lived as with his sciaticas, lumbagos, and other appendage of human life. Of the said three heirs, one was the wickedest soldier ever born of a woman, and he must have considerably hurt her in breaking his egg, since he was born with teeth and bristles. So that he ate, two-fold, for the present and the future, keeping wenches whose cost he paid; inheriting from his uncle the continuance, strength, and good use of that which is often of service. In great battles, he endeavoured always to give blows without receiving them, which is, and always will be, the only problem to solve in war, but he never spared himself there, and, in fact, as he had no other virtue except his bravery, he was captain of a company of lancers, and much esteemed by the Duke of Burgoyne, who never troubled what his soldiers did elsewhere. This nephew of the devil was named Captain Cochegrue; and his creditors, the blockheads, citizens, and others, whose pockets he slit, called him the Mau-cinge, since he was as mischievous as strong; but he had moreover his back spoilt by the natural infirmity of a hump, and it would have been unwise to attempt to mount thereon to get a good view, for he would incontestably have run you through.The second had studied the laws, and through the favour of his uncle had become aprocureur, and practised at the palace, where he did the business of the ladies, whom formerly the canon had the best confessed. This one was called Pille-grue, to banter him upon his real name, which was Cochegrue, like that of his brother the captain. Pille-grue had a lean body, seemed to throw off very cold water, was pale of face, and possessed a physiognomy like a polecat.This notwithstanding, he was worth many a penny more than the captain, and had for his uncle a little affection, but since about two years his heart had cracked a little, and drop by drop his gratitude had run out, in such a way that from time to time, when the air was damp, he liked to put his feet into his uncle's hose, and press in advance the juice of this good inheritance. He and his brother, the soldier found their share very small, since loyally, in law, in fact, in justice, in nature, and in reality, it was necessary to give the third part of everything to a poor cousin, son of another sister of the canon, the which heir, butlittle loved by the good man, remained in the country, where he was a shepherd, near Nanterre.__The guardian of beasts, an ordinary peasant, came to town by the advice of his two cousins, who placed him in their uncle's house, in the hope that, as much by his silly tricks and his clumsiness, his want of brain, and his ignorance, he would be displeasing to the canon, who would kick him out of his will. Now this poor Chiquon, as the shepherd was named, had lived about a month alone with his old uncle, and finding more profit or more amusement in minding an abbot than looking after sheep, made himself the canon's dog, his servant, the staff of his old age, saying, \"God keep you,\" when he passed wind, \"God save you,\" when he sneezed, and \"God guard you,\" whenhe belched; going to see if it rained, where the cat was, remaining silent, listening, speaking, receiving the coughs of the old man in his face, admiring him as the finest canon there ever was in the world, all heartily and in good faith, knowing that hewas licking him after the manner of animals who clean their young ones; and the uncle, who stood in no need of learning which side the bread was buttered, repulsed poor Chiquon, making him turn about like a die, always calling him Chiquon, and always saying to his other nephews that this Chiquon was helping to kill him, such a numskull was he. Thereupon, hearing this, Chiquon determined to do well by his uncle, and puzzled his understanding to appear better; but as he had a behind shaped like a pair of pumpkins, was broad shouldered, large limbed, and far from sharp, he more resembled old Silenus than a gentle Zephyr. In fact, the poor\nshepherd, a simple man, could not reform himself, so he remained big and fat, awaiting his inheritance to make himself thin.One evening the canon began discoursing concerning the the devil and the grave agonies, penances, tortures, etc., which God will get warm for the accursed, and the good Chiquon hearing it, began to open his eyes as wide as the door of an oven, at the statement, without believing a word of it.\"What,\" said the canon, \"are you not a Christian?\"\"In that, yes,\" answered Chiquon.\"Well, there is a paradise for the good; is it not necessary to have a hell for the wicked?\"\"Yes, Mr. Canon; but the devil's of no use. If you had here a wicked man who turned everything upside down; would you not kick him out of doors?\"\"Yes, Chiquon.\"\"Oh, well, mine uncle; God would be very stupid to leave in the this world, which he has so curiously constructed, an abominable devil whose special business it is to spoil everything for him. Pish! I recognise no devil if there be a good God; you may depend upon that. I should very much like to see the devil. Ha, ha! I am not afraid of his claws!\"\"And if I were of your opinion I should have no care of my very youthful years in which I held confessions at least ten times a day.\"\"Confess again, Mr. Canon. I assure you that will be a precious merit on high.\"\"There, there! Do you mean it?\"\"Yes, Mr. Canon.\"\"Thou dost not tremble, Chiquon, to deny the devil?\"\"I trouble no more about it than a sheaf of corn.\"\"The doctrine will bring misfortune upon you.\"\"By no means. God will defend me from the devil because I believe him more learned andless stupid than the savans make him out.\"Thereupon the two other nephews entered, and perceiving from the voice of the canon that he did not dislike Chiquon very much, and that the jeremiads which he had made concerning him were simple tricks to disguise the affection which he bore him, looked at each other in great astonishment.Then, seeing their uncle laughing, they said to him--\"If you will make a will, to whom will you leave the house?\"To Chiquon.\"\"And the quit rent of the Rue St. Denys?\"\"To Chiquon.\"\"And the fief of Ville Parisis?\"\"To Chiquon.\"\"But,\" said the captain, with his big voice, \"everything then will be Chiquon's.\"\"No,\" replied the canon, smiling, \"because I shall have made my will in proper form, the inheritance will be to the sharpest of you three; I am so near to the future, that I can therein see clearly your destinies.\"And the wily canon cast upon Chiquon a glance full of malice, like a decoy bird would have thrown upon a little one to draw him into her net.",
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