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      "body": "For the original post, please go to: https://magpie64.wordpress.com/2017/11/04/growing-ourselves-to-free-our-children/\n\n![Cy Twombly 4.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmejrMT5cuxJ7y4TugvU4yM5zag527sywsRAtKqqc4XALC/Cy%20Twombly%204.jpg)\n\nWe practice a type of homeschooling that I have come to call whole life evolution without school. Radical unschooling is another name for it. But, rather than stick with labels, I prefer to continue growing and evolving. For now, these are the best terms that encompass what we do.  As probably the only family in our town that goes completely no rules, no restrictions, no limitations, and total autonomy in self-directed learning, we still have lots in common with our fellow homeschoolers. For instance, Sean generally doesn’t measure himself against the opinion of peers, but rather against his own internal measure for who he is – and this happens by default when we keep our kids off the indoctrination bus and are mindful about even our own biased influence.\n\nBut, today I am sharing about reading and writing. I have anticipated this post for years, knowing the stories of others along this path. But, I didn’t know what our individual story might look like. Already, I am off the beaten path with my embrace of exponential developments that might lead to the death of things like cursive. I text *atm* and *idk* in my 50s as readily as any digital native of the 1990s. How my child needs to learn to read or write may not be based in any canon or method from the industrial age. We are a society evolving through symbols and memes, omitting the flowery touches of our ancestors.\n\nI have conventionally homeschooling and radically unschooling friends with kids who started reading and writing at the ages of three and four. I’ve heard tale of others with kids who didn’t read until 10 or 11. It truly seems to run the gamut, and there seems to be no prediction of which kids will pick it up early, as late.\n\nThe story goes that if they don’t start early, by the time they are 11 or even 13, they will suddenly start reading and within weeks be beyond their comparative grade-level-by-age-peers in school. I have heard stories of kids who suddenly read out of nowhere at 11 and who were reading Harry Potter within weeks. Actually, this is a common story among unschoolers.\n\nOur experience has been a waiting game.\n\nAll the other indicators that the world likes to judge us by as homeschoolers were met early and strong, but reading and writing (legibly) remained a holdout.\n\nI read voraciously to my child from birth until he was around six or seven. By then, I was reading to him from Old Yeller and Savage Sam. We’d read 5th and 6th grade level chapter books, because the content of books kids his age read in school did not appeal to him, anymore. But, finally, he wanted me to read to him less and less. I still offer, but he declines.\n\nI was a grammar/Latin scholar in middle school, and Sean’s Dad was an elementary school teacher in a previous life, before we first met. His Dad remained didactic and concerned, while I made the choice to trust the process, as angst ridden as that trust can be when people start grilling your kid in public and you want to point out all the shit he *does* know. It can also be scary when your child becomes frustrated for not being able to read.\n\nNot even the embarrassment on occasion from not being able to read when needed was enough to motivate him to accept help to learn to read. I wouldn’t put him in such situations, but sometimes they’d happen, naturally. Of course, I offered to help him, but if he declined, I didn’t press.\n\nOnce, in a homeschool meetup, not being able to read the content that was the focus of the activity led to tears with my offers to help being met with more tears, so we left on his account, and he projected his anger at me even though he was the one who asked to leave. I attributed those tears to pent-up feelings over his parents’ impending separation at the time more than to any shame or frustration he felt in not being able to read.\n\nProbably one of the biggest challenges I face when it comes to his Dad’s blessing (more like, begrudgingly supporting me to continue to stay home instead of putting Sean in school) now that we are apart is the reading snag, as he sees it. He does not trust the process, but for my constant reassurance and reminding him about the pathway that is already open before us, trod by countless other unschoolers.\n\nBut, I am (for the last few months) seeing a very logical progression of it happening right before my eyes, slowly, but most certainly, finally.\n\nThe way Sean is approaching reading is nothing like what we are taught will do the trick (such as phonics, which he has always resisted, or even reading games). The way he is approaching it is beyond anything I could have predicted. The way it is morphing together before my eyes tells me that developmentally it was never going to happen until he – as an individual – was ready, and being in school through this experience would have only served to destroy his self-confidence.\n\nThe same logic I see him using to spell many words now and write very simple sentences is a level of logic applied to stringing the steps together that he was literally not seeing months ago, even though he could hold his own with 20-year-olds in online matches of Overwatch.\n\nI didn’t understand how he could be so incredibly knowledgeable about so much varied and deep content, so skillful in physical and mental challenges, yet not get the simple steps for reading. But, I was committed to trusting the process. I have been the constant that he could trust not to push or coerce him.\n\nWhat really seemed to make the difference was how he struggled to keep up with friends who relied increasingly on chat in Skype and in gaming to communicate. Some friends would even sound irritated when they had to hold back and help him along, but most were tolerant and patient.\n\nBut, it was more than just gaming. His gaming led him to watch specific YouTubers and YouTube content related to anime’, and specifically Japanese Culture. He is so fond of Japanese culture and history, including its ancient mythology, that he started picking up bits of the language and lore and applying it to his everyday life. This led to investigations in other Asian cultures and history, along with an esoteric Halloween costume. \n\nCertain YouTubers, over the course of a year have imbued him with a sense for how language and culture arises from ancient practices and etymology, and even leaving him with an understanding for that very term. This interest builds upon his fascination with ancient culture, history, and paleontology in toddlerhood.\n\nAnother type of YouTube content that has led him down this path to appreciating the logic of language is a genre using Flash animation where the YouTuber tells personal stories using simple drawings on white backgrounds that are often underscored by words and terms cradled in the art of expression, tone, and meme.\n\nThis ironic round about way to learning reading is far from conventional. It is based heavily within the process of pursuing passions and interests, which as a parent, I’ve facilitated and most certainly allowed to run its natural course. It also encourages a holistic adaptation of skill and tools for reading that occur at a natural level for attainment and most importantly, retained knowledge without memorization and coerced drill, study, or testing.\n\nWriting has come about from the same pathway, yet my late bloomer didn’t ride a bike until eight, wasn’t out of diapers until well into four, and only recently started to overcome certain enunciation issues – all because he was never coerced to keep pace with any arbitrary cohort.\n\nThus, it isn’t surprising that the mechanics of his handwriting and control over forming letters has only just started to come into fruition. He is still mixing up lowercase b and d, but a year ago, he was anxious trying to discern any case of M or W, especially when under pressure for speed in gaming. Suddenly, he is discerning M and W without effort, and the b and d confusion is of nowhere near the consequence.\n\nWhen he was so stuck on M and W, I noticed that it was the fear of not applying the correct letter at the appropriate time in a gaming pace (due to obvious outcomes and consequence) that presented the challenge. It took a long time faced with this challenge or practice before he finally had the confidence he might have gained had he learned it at his own pace, without the pressure of the game. But, this was all of his own choosing. The frustration he would express over M and W was something that I accepted and accommodated, because again, it was a choice he made – a problem of his own design. And he solved it at his own pace with my gentle (if sometimes impatient) facilitation, not willing to limit him on the case of his confusion between two consonants.\n\nWhat was a painstakingly slow process of spelling out Happy Birthday for him to write in a card is now something I can call out from across the room without having to wait long seconds between each letter, and the formation of the letters seems more inline with the handwriting one might expect from a child his age, on average. One of my proudest moments was when he wrote me a secret note of F-U-C-K Y-O-U M-O-M with a huge smiley face without any help or provocation, just because he could, and knowing that I would find it funny. I will cherish that note, always.\n\nSide Note: *Imagine the less-free children who would have been wretchedly punished or shamed for writing such a note to their parent. This exemplifies the level of ego I have chosen to release to provide his security and freedom at the same time. That he trusts me and my (lack of) reaction to write such a note is paramount to illustrating how much growth this lifestyle requires of parents in de-schooling or de-conditioning our own triggers. My child was happy when he wrote that note and he knew that I would not embrace a negative reaction to it. He trusted me because he has been trusted.* \n\nWho knows if he will graduate to Harry Potter by age 11. Who knows if this stage of learning to read and write will drag along or evolve quickly. I really do not care. His Dad will have to trust, because I’m not stepping off a path that has resulted in a child who can work independently with others to achieve personal and group goals while knowing full well which adults can’t be trusted and sees clearly why stepping on the yellow bus of indoctrination is not in his best interest.\n\nThat is a relief, because as a parent in this lifestyle, if he wanted to go to school, truly desired to be part of that system, I’d have to say Yes. It would be the only way to model true respect for his autonomy. At 10, despite recognizing that we now embrace a new paradigm for family with me as a single mom, he knows how good he has it. He sees how different life is for kids in school and how free he is to be who he needs to be, without judgement. He can write Fuck You Mom without being suspended.\n\nSide, Side Note: *I have dear close friends who would ground their kids for the mere perception of lesser infractions. I recognize that my extreme perspectives are rooted in a lifetime of questioning everything. But, still, I have not been exempt from pain and shedding layers towards enlightenment. Just because I have no qualms about giving my child these freedoms, it doesn’t mean that I think I have all of the answers about everything. I’m recovering from major life changes and baring my soul across an entire paradigm where marriage and partnership must have new definitions for me to survive and live in the world with my relative pain. But, breaking the cycle of dysfunction is my underlying mission, and making my child feel badly for accosting my ego is not what I’m after. If he feels so free to express himself in this way, and I feel so connected to him that I know immediately it is meant as a joke, then I’d say that is a pretty strong indicator that I’m doing something right. Connection is the goal, because I won’t be able to provide security forever.*\n\nSean appreciates how he has been given the freedom to self direct his life according to what interests him as opposed to the arbitrary measures forced upon kids in school. He already has adult discernment and understanding bout every topic from biological and natural processes to philosophical ideologies and systems of belief. Yet, he still imagines and bounces around the living room with all the space and time to play that a kid needs in a day. And lately, he’s increased the level of snuggling he requests and gives, sending me the message that he still needs to feel safe and secure with someone he trusts.\n\nI follow his lead, while maintaining and modeling a process for living life with expediency, and spirituality, as he is seeing me struggle and grow with my own personal milestones.\nThat I see him, concretely learning to read and write is really just a notion that I get to log into the schedule for his childhood in my own brain, because I’m the one who was conditioned to expect it. I am the one who rode the bus of indoctrination. I am the one who faces the greatest struggles and challenges in allowing my child to be free.",
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