VOTING POWER100.00%
DOWNVOTE POWER100.00%
RESOURCE CREDITS100.00%
REPUTATION PROGRESS0.00%
Net Worth
0.037USD
STEEM
0.000STEEM
SBD
0.000SBD
Effective Power
5.007SP
├── Own SP
0.633SP
└── Incoming DelegationsDeleg
+4.374SP
Detailed Balance
| STEEM | ||
| balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| market_balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| savings_balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| reward_steem_balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| STEEM POWER | ||
| Own SP | 0.633SP | SP |
| Delegated Out | 0.000SP | SP |
| Delegation In | 4.374SP | SP |
| Effective Power | 5.007SP | SP |
| Reward SP (pending) | 0.000SP | SP |
| SBD | ||
| sbd_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| sbd_conversions | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| sbd_market_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| savings_sbd_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| reward_sbd_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
{
"balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"savings_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"reward_steem_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"vesting_shares": "1028.973991 VESTS",
"delegated_vesting_shares": "0.000000 VESTS",
"received_vesting_shares": "7114.685815 VESTS",
"sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"savings_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"reward_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"conversions": []
}Account Info
| name | jonbristol |
| id | 401909 |
| rank | 1,451,654 |
| reputation | 34217466 |
| created | 2017-10-09T00:08:54 |
| recovery_account | steem |
| proxy | None |
| post_count | 8 |
| comment_count | 0 |
| lifetime_vote_count | 0 |
| witnesses_voted_for | 0 |
| last_post | 2017-10-19T15:08:30 |
| last_root_post | 2017-10-19T15:08:30 |
| last_vote_time | 2017-10-09T21:15:12 |
| proxied_vsf_votes | 0, 0, 0, 0 |
| can_vote | 1 |
| voting_power | 0 |
| delayed_votes | 0 |
| balance | 0.000 STEEM |
| savings_balance | 0.000 STEEM |
| sbd_balance | 0.000 SBD |
| savings_sbd_balance | 0.000 SBD |
| vesting_shares | 1028.973991 VESTS |
| delegated_vesting_shares | 0.000000 VESTS |
| received_vesting_shares | 7114.685815 VESTS |
| reward_vesting_balance | 0.000000 VESTS |
| vesting_balance | 0.000 STEEM |
| vesting_withdraw_rate | 0.000000 VESTS |
| next_vesting_withdrawal | 1969-12-31T23:59:59 |
| withdrawn | 0 |
| to_withdraw | 0 |
| withdraw_routes | 0 |
| savings_withdraw_requests | 0 |
| last_account_recovery | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| reset_account | null |
| last_owner_update | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| last_account_update | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| mined | No |
| sbd_seconds | 0 |
| sbd_last_interest_payment | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| savings_sbd_last_interest_payment | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
{
"active": {
"account_auths": [],
"key_auths": [
[
"STM7SxrayLgUG2omjtVoXfhH6JUbgJ2ia56gJW6pRwX22cuSMzAxo",
1
]
],
"weight_threshold": 1
},
"balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"can_vote": true,
"comment_count": 0,
"created": "2017-10-09T00:08:54",
"curation_rewards": 0,
"delegated_vesting_shares": "0.000000 VESTS",
"downvote_manabar": {
"current_mana": 2035914951,
"last_update_time": 1779069738
},
"guest_bloggers": [],
"id": 401909,
"json_metadata": "",
"last_account_recovery": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"last_account_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"last_owner_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"last_post": "2017-10-19T15:08:30",
"last_root_post": "2017-10-19T15:08:30",
"last_vote_time": "2017-10-09T21:15:12",
"lifetime_vote_count": 0,
"market_history": [],
"memo_key": "STM8g3YbfXrjDA51SPZ2RNFYuHyU8JwnWSq2f6ccysRBnTnGkaQe1",
"mined": false,
"name": "jonbristol",
"next_vesting_withdrawal": "1969-12-31T23:59:59",
"other_history": [],
"owner": {
"account_auths": [],
"key_auths": [
[
"STM54pzchpjroJRC8UwdCaTVLY6VBfsUbpiu6R2TK2aenDr4pQiGS",
1
]
],
"weight_threshold": 1
},
"pending_claimed_accounts": 0,
"post_bandwidth": 0,
"post_count": 8,
"post_history": [],
"posting": {
"account_auths": [],
"key_auths": [
[
"STM6bgQPzzNC5z2K6R1SWke9nyJ9wWDpUafz4cocudP9UD7mjBTEA",
1
]
],
"weight_threshold": 1
},
"posting_json_metadata": "",
"posting_rewards": 0,
"proxied_vsf_votes": [
0,
0,
0,
0
],
"proxy": "",
"received_vesting_shares": "7114.685815 VESTS",
"recovery_account": "steem",
"reputation": 34217466,
"reset_account": "null",
"reward_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"reward_steem_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"reward_vesting_balance": "0.000000 VESTS",
"reward_vesting_steem": "0.000 STEEM",
"savings_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"savings_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"savings_sbd_last_interest_payment": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"savings_sbd_seconds": "0",
"savings_sbd_seconds_last_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"savings_withdraw_requests": 0,
"sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"sbd_last_interest_payment": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"sbd_seconds": "0",
"sbd_seconds_last_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"tags_usage": [],
"to_withdraw": 0,
"transfer_history": [],
"vesting_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"vesting_shares": "1028.973991 VESTS",
"vesting_withdraw_rate": "0.000000 VESTS",
"vote_history": [],
"voting_manabar": {
"current_mana": "8143659806",
"last_update_time": 1779069738
},
"voting_power": 0,
"withdraw_routes": 0,
"withdrawn": 0,
"witness_votes": [],
"witnesses_voted_for": 0,
"rank": 1451654
}Withdraw Routes
| Incoming | Outgoing |
|---|---|
Empty | Empty |
{
"incoming": [],
"outgoing": []
}From Date
To Date
steemdelegated 4.374 SP to @jonbristol2026/05/18 02:02:18
steemdelegated 4.374 SP to @jonbristol
2026/05/18 02:02:18
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 7114.685815 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #106145580/Trx f67372670463c4f7263bc9e43cc28b50e7a5e6c9 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 106145580,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "7114.685815 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2026-05-18T02:02:18",
"trx_id": "f67372670463c4f7263bc9e43cc28b50e7a5e6c9",
"trx_in_block": 1,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 2.707 SP to @jonbristol2026/05/12 11:05:03
steemdelegated 2.707 SP to @jonbristol
2026/05/12 11:05:03
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 4402.475410 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #105984386/Trx f70df76d821619008796b83b398b484f86ba1343 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 105984386,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "4402.475410 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2026-05-12T11:05:03",
"trx_id": "f70df76d821619008796b83b398b484f86ba1343",
"trx_in_block": 2,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 4.382 SP to @jonbristol2026/04/26 01:20:24
steemdelegated 4.382 SP to @jonbristol
2026/04/26 01:20:24
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 7127.201571 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #105513179/Trx eafbee92dd2bb2181d1eeb08071b0b982ed6a1df |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 105513179,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "7127.201571 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2026-04-26T01:20:24",
"trx_id": "eafbee92dd2bb2181d1eeb08071b0b982ed6a1df",
"trx_in_block": 0,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 2.732 SP to @jonbristol2026/01/23 12:35:30
steemdelegated 2.732 SP to @jonbristol
2026/01/23 12:35:30
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 4444.022229 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #102857552/Trx 9ec3dd9b9288c4a3aa8f548d1829c8df49a121c1 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 102857552,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "4444.022229 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2026-01-23T12:35:30",
"trx_id": "9ec3dd9b9288c4a3aa8f548d1829c8df49a121c1",
"trx_in_block": 0,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 2.833 SP to @jonbristol2024/12/17 07:51:51
steemdelegated 2.833 SP to @jonbristol
2024/12/17 07:51:51
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 4608.241426 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #91303893/Trx 72bf920361e89aca2f59f07b8f20f3291cd8699d |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 91303893,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "4608.241426 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2024-12-17T07:51:51",
"trx_id": "72bf920361e89aca2f59f07b8f20f3291cd8699d",
"trx_in_block": 7,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 2.937 SP to @jonbristol2023/11/13 23:33:54
steemdelegated 2.937 SP to @jonbristol
2023/11/13 23:33:54
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 4777.374958 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #79858079/Trx d03bdd6f5f9b8ba83880b07c0a24c6a14e20289c |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 79858079,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "4777.374958 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2023-11-13T23:33:54",
"trx_id": "d03bdd6f5f9b8ba83880b07c0a24c6a14e20289c",
"trx_in_block": 1,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 4.743 SP to @jonbristol2023/09/21 23:56:03
steemdelegated 4.743 SP to @jonbristol
2023/09/21 23:56:03
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 7714.653744 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #78350347/Trx ea003ccbaee4a075813f1620c69d3b0c53871c68 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 78350347,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "7714.653744 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2023-09-21T23:56:03",
"trx_id": "ea003ccbaee4a075813f1620c69d3b0c53871c68",
"trx_in_block": 11,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 4.879 SP to @jonbristol2022/11/03 13:27:36
steemdelegated 4.879 SP to @jonbristol
2022/11/03 13:27:36
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 7936.335182 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #69115357/Trx d12a47a74b5a6b8327f4cb2a7325e9d3471522ed |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 69115357,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "7936.335182 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2022-11-03T13:27:36",
"trx_id": "d12a47a74b5a6b8327f4cb2a7325e9d3471522ed",
"trx_in_block": 4,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 5.015 SP to @jonbristol2022/01/17 16:50:30
steemdelegated 5.015 SP to @jonbristol
2022/01/17 16:50:30
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 8156.570318 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #60816441/Trx 5799774f0c4bb7cf188d94c1570c3306ae45b37e |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 60816441,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "8156.570318 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2022-01-17T16:50:30",
"trx_id": "5799774f0c4bb7cf188d94c1570c3306ae45b37e",
"trx_in_block": 0,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 5.128 SP to @jonbristol2021/06/14 02:25:33
steemdelegated 5.128 SP to @jonbristol
2021/06/14 02:25:33
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 8340.637071 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #54609645/Trx 1f73f891aba84321a586a941608ba92d8779e2b0 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 54609645,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "8340.637071 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2021-06-14T02:25:33",
"trx_id": "1f73f891aba84321a586a941608ba92d8779e2b0",
"trx_in_block": 12,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 5.243 SP to @jonbristol2020/12/11 12:42:15
steemdelegated 5.243 SP to @jonbristol
2020/12/11 12:42:15
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 8528.059045 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #49357042/Trx 0c5add7e2208af414d59282c691588060fd1da27 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 49357042,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "8528.059045 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-12-11T12:42:15",
"trx_id": "0c5add7e2208af414d59282c691588060fd1da27",
"trx_in_block": 3,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 1.176 SP to @jonbristol2020/12/06 06:18:57
steemdelegated 1.176 SP to @jonbristol
2020/12/06 06:18:57
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 1912.543513 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #49208593/Trx d2fa5ded6228582ae96afa96025aa488bca092fd |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 49208593,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "1912.543513 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-12-06T06:18:57",
"trx_id": "d2fa5ded6228582ae96afa96025aa488bca092fd",
"trx_in_block": 1,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 5.247 SP to @jonbristol2020/12/05 16:20:21
steemdelegated 5.247 SP to @jonbristol
2020/12/05 16:20:21
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 8534.266899 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #49192138/Trx 5717e6f7125c44c27aa662d8db9d2a4f05c41fa9 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 49192138,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "8534.266899 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-12-05T16:20:21",
"trx_id": "5717e6f7125c44c27aa662d8db9d2a4f05c41fa9",
"trx_in_block": 6,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 1.180 SP to @jonbristol2020/11/02 18:52:42
steemdelegated 1.180 SP to @jonbristol
2020/11/02 18:52:42
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 1920.017158 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #48261618/Trx c83f2ea344f975db5035dae68b80ae290569d81c |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 48261618,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "1920.017158 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-11-02T18:52:42",
"trx_id": "c83f2ea344f975db5035dae68b80ae290569d81c",
"trx_in_block": 3,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 5.371 SP to @jonbristol2020/05/09 07:18:06
steemdelegated 5.371 SP to @jonbristol
2020/05/09 07:18:06
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 8737.072258 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #43218867/Trx ac794b3376c54b3aa391518e90f073e63d18ada7 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 43218867,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "8737.072258 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-05-09T07:18:06",
"trx_id": "ac794b3376c54b3aa391518e90f073e63d18ada7",
"trx_in_block": 4,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 1.201 SP to @jonbristol2020/05/08 11:08:24
steemdelegated 1.201 SP to @jonbristol
2020/05/08 11:08:24
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 1953.311140 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #43195239/Trx e6a85f34dbd15c09b0b132c856c042411c80ce43 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 43195239,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "1953.311140 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-05-08T11:08:24",
"trx_id": "e6a85f34dbd15c09b0b132c856c042411c80ce43",
"trx_in_block": 1,
"virtual_op": 0
}steemdelegated 5.379 SP to @jonbristol2020/04/16 00:54:21
steemdelegated 5.379 SP to @jonbristol
2020/04/16 00:54:21
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 8749.959706 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #42566383/Trx 258cf2d91446cb71da83ecdf06c48210cb775151 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"block": 42566383,
"op": [
"delegate_vesting_shares",
{
"delegatee": "jonbristol",
"delegator": "steem",
"vesting_shares": "8749.959706 VESTS"
}
],
"op_in_trx": 0,
"timestamp": "2020-04-16T00:54:21",
"trx_id": "258cf2d91446cb71da83ecdf06c48210cb775151",
"trx_in_block": 19,
"virtual_op": 0
}2019/10/09 00:48:00
2019/10/09 00:48:00
| author | steemitboard |
| body | Congratulations @jonbristol! You received a personal award! <table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@jonbristol/birthday2.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!</td></tr></table> <sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@jonbristol) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=jonbristol)_</sub> **Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:** <table><tr><td><a href="https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/the-new-steemfest-badge-is-ready"><img src="https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRUkELn2Fd13pWFkmWU2wBMMx39EBX5V3cHBEZ2d7f3Ve/image.png"></a></td><td><a href="https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/the-new-steemfest-badge-is-ready">The new SteemFest⁴ badge is ready</a></td></tr></table> ###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes! |
| json metadata | {"image":["https://steemitboard.com/img/notify.png"]} |
| parent author | jonbristol |
| parent permlink | tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt3-playing-the-lottery |
| permlink | steemitboard-notify-jonbristol-20191009t004800000z |
| title | |
| Transaction Info | Block #37118690/Trx 2636c96b15160d01a07d859ae0f5f62c5d3ead1d |
View Raw JSON Data
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"body": "Congratulations @jonbristol! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@jonbristol/birthday2.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@jonbristol) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=jonbristol)_</sub>\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/the-new-steemfest-badge-is-ready\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRUkELn2Fd13pWFkmWU2wBMMx39EBX5V3cHBEZ2d7f3Ve/image.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/the-new-steemfest-badge-is-ready\">The new SteemFest⁴ badge is ready</a></td></tr></table>\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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}steemdelegated 5.500 SP to @jonbristol2019/05/12 17:59:57
steemdelegated 5.500 SP to @jonbristol
2019/05/12 17:59:57
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 8945.576519 VESTS |
| Transaction Info | Block #32849202/Trx 6c87c669c5767f92714a0b0ca6276294345072da |
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}steemdelegated 5.622 SP to @jonbristol2018/05/16 22:04:00
steemdelegated 5.622 SP to @jonbristol
2018/05/16 22:04:00
| delegatee | jonbristol |
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| vesting shares | 9145.187387 VESTS |
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}steemdelegated 18.215 SP to @jonbristol2018/02/21 23:09:39
steemdelegated 18.215 SP to @jonbristol
2018/02/21 23:09:39
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
| vesting shares | 29628.042591 VESTS |
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}2018/01/05 15:29:18
2018/01/05 15:29:18
| author | spikezon |
| body | Hello fellow trini, I'm not a miner but a fellow crypto enthusiast. I've managed to convince a few co-workers to invest in crypto like myself. They were very grateful for the advice after the bull run last year. |
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| permlink | re-jonbristol-tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt2-making-crypto-friends-20180105t152917877z |
| title | |
| Transaction Info | Block #18715105/Trx 4d71b21e9131a7439f4fb1a8826a2b41e77fbc34 |
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}spikezonupvoted (100.00%) @jonbristol / tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt2-making-crypto-friends2018/01/05 15:19:54
spikezonupvoted (100.00%) @jonbristol / tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt2-making-crypto-friends
2018/01/05 15:19:54
| author | jonbristol |
| permlink | tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt2-making-crypto-friends |
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}jonbristolpublished a new post: tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt3-playing-the-lottery2017/10/19 15:08:30
jonbristolpublished a new post: tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt3-playing-the-lottery
2017/10/19 15:08:30
| author | jonbristol |
| body | # What Happens In Vegas... # Now, some of you may have their reservations about gambling. While the rest may have no feelings at all. But for those who it makes uncomfortable, it mostly comes down to how it's defined. Whatever their personal definitions though, it necessarily includes some form of *investment* and some amount of *risk*. In our world, it's safe to assume, that those who take their chances on the slot machine are viewed in a much darker light than those who take theirs in the stock or securities market. However, dealing with multiple currencies is indeed a gamble. Can it truly be said to be any different from the above examples? It includes an investment (electrical and equipment costs) and is tempered by risk. Dynamic exchange rates can cause your holdings to depreciate or appreciate day to day. In the case of cryptocurrencies those value variations can be *exceptionally* wild. In the same year, appreciation can amount to an order of magnitude in gains! Look at [Ether's price](https://etherscan.io/chart/etherprice), $8 January 1st of this year, yet currently over $300. But the inverse is also true, there can be losses just as mountainous. Knowing a few basic market principles can help guide you in your trading of the various cryptocurrencies. It's similar to how like learning to read a person's "tells" can help you to play a better game of poker or blackjack. But there remain other factors involved, some without our control, that affect our [chances](https://www.cryptocoinsnews.com/hackers-seize-32-million-in-parity-wallet-breach/) at making a profit - the de facto aim of any trade. So at the end, no matter how educated or versed you are, there can be no guarantee that you'll walk away from your chosen gamble with a [profit](https://www.reddit.com/r/CryptoCurrency/comments/6egbrk/what_is_your_biggest_loss_and_greatest_gain/). # -------- # My lottery, however, barely involved any form of currency. What would be exchanged was *time and energy* for **hardware equipment**. Of course, however, due to the price of hardware today, the equipment offered in exchange for that time and energy would often be yesteryear's or broken, **or both**. But among the non-functioning parts and systems may lie golden nuggets that could be used to build a mining rig. But why would the Monero Miner take this gamble you ask? Wouldn't saving and purchasing equipment oneself be a straightforward and less stressful endeavour? Surely, collecting, sorting and testing equipment would consume a lot of time. Time, that may have been otherwise employed. It would also require a lot of patience and research for troubleshooting year old parts. Oh, and let's not forget the space required to keep everything packed away in a safe and orderly manner. So again, why choose this gamble? Could the potential gain be that much more than the loss incurred? To answer that question, we must remember that my profitability is only further compounded by the use of inexpensive equipment. It would make the length of time for return on investment substantially shorter. Any functioning parts gained through our transactions that lead to the creation of mining rigs become icing on an already discounted cake. *And who doesn't like cake*? # Delayed Win Streak... # The hope of most gamblers is that of a win or a win streak. But besides some [intricate math](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lottery_mathematics), there's just no telling when and if there'll be a win streak and thus begins our trials... Since October 5th, we've collected five laptops, three desktops, seven motherboards, many ram modules, over ten graphics cards and six power supplies. A large collection for such a small space of time. Colour me appreciative and surprised. October 5th was the day I made a post on what's the equivalent of my local "craigslist" and the response has been overwhelming. This is due to the fact that for every exchange each party is gaining something. A lot of persons wish to clear up space in their home but would rather not throw out potentially useful items and we're offering free pick up :) Needless to say, it's a win/win. That's a win/win on collecting equipment, which is a far cry from building functioning systems. We'll discuss that process in detail in the following posts. -------- Thanks for all the support again, especially @maxer27, @rmp, @steemfiles, and @xeo who are my newest followers. make sure to check out their stuff on Steemit! Take care, and see you all next time! |
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| parent author | |
| parent permlink | cryptocurrency |
| permlink | tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt3-playing-the-lottery |
| title | Tiny Island, Big Opportunity - PT3 Playing The Lottery |
| Transaction Info | Block #16469508/Trx d2899f6a3c28d29ea9728a5a926e878cbe439d2b |
View Raw JSON Data
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"body": "# What Happens In Vegas...\n#\n\nNow, some of you may have their reservations about gambling. While the rest may have no feelings at all. But for those who it makes uncomfortable, it mostly comes down to how it's defined. Whatever their personal definitions though, it necessarily includes some form of *investment* and some amount of *risk*.\n\nIn our world, it's safe to assume, that those who take their chances on the slot machine are viewed in a much darker light than those who take theirs in the stock or securities market. \n\nHowever, dealing with multiple currencies is indeed a gamble. Can it truly be said to be any different from the above examples? It includes an investment (electrical and equipment costs) and is tempered by risk. Dynamic exchange rates can cause your holdings to depreciate or appreciate day to day. In the case of cryptocurrencies those value variations can be *exceptionally* wild. In the same year, appreciation can amount to an order of magnitude in gains! Look at [Ether's price](https://etherscan.io/chart/etherprice), $8 January 1st of this year, yet currently over $300. But the inverse is also true, there can be losses just as mountainous.\n\nKnowing a few basic market principles can help guide you in your trading of the various cryptocurrencies. It's similar to how like learning to read a person's \"tells\" can help you to play a better game of poker or blackjack. But there remain other factors involved, some without our control, that affect our [chances](https://www.cryptocoinsnews.com/hackers-seize-32-million-in-parity-wallet-breach/) at making a profit - the de facto aim of any trade. So at the end, no matter how educated or versed you are, there can be no guarantee that you'll walk away from your chosen gamble with a [profit](https://www.reddit.com/r/CryptoCurrency/comments/6egbrk/what_is_your_biggest_loss_and_greatest_gain/).\n#\n\n-------- \n#\nMy lottery, however, barely involved any form of currency. What would be exchanged was *time and energy* for **hardware equipment**. Of course, however, due to the price of hardware today, the equipment offered in exchange for that time and energy would often be yesteryear's or broken, **or both**. But among the non-functioning parts and systems may lie golden nuggets that could be used to build a mining rig. \n\nBut why would the Monero Miner take this gamble you ask? Wouldn't saving and purchasing equipment oneself be a straightforward and less stressful endeavour? Surely, collecting, sorting and testing equipment would consume a lot of time. Time, that may have been otherwise employed. It would also require a lot of patience and research for troubleshooting year old parts. Oh, and let's not forget the space required to keep everything packed away in a safe and orderly manner. So again, why choose this gamble? Could the potential gain be that much more than the loss incurred? \n\nTo answer that question, we must remember that my profitability is only further compounded by the use of inexpensive equipment. It would make the length of time for return on investment substantially shorter. Any functioning parts gained through our transactions that lead to the creation of mining rigs become icing on an already discounted cake.\n\n*And who doesn't like cake*?\n\n# Delayed Win Streak...\n#\n\nThe hope of most gamblers is that of a win or a win streak. But besides some [intricate math](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lottery_mathematics), there's just no telling when and if there'll be a win streak and thus begins our trials...\n\nSince October 5th, we've collected five laptops, three desktops, seven motherboards, many ram modules, over ten graphics cards and six power supplies. A large collection for such a small space of time. Colour me appreciative and surprised. October 5th was the day I made a post on what's the equivalent of my local \"craigslist\" and the response has been overwhelming. \n\nThis is due to the fact that for every exchange each party is gaining something. A lot of persons wish to clear up space in their home but would rather not throw out potentially useful items and we're offering free pick up :) Needless to say, it's a win/win.\n\nThat's a win/win on collecting equipment, which is a far cry from building functioning systems. We'll discuss that process in detail in the following posts.\n\n--------\n\nThanks for all the support again, especially @maxer27, @rmp, @steemfiles, and @xeo who are my newest followers. make sure to check out their stuff on Steemit! Take care, and see you all next time!",
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}jonbristolfollowed @xeo2017/10/19 14:23:36
jonbristolfollowed @xeo
2017/10/19 14:23:36
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}jonbristolfollowed @steemfiles2017/10/19 14:23:36
jonbristolfollowed @steemfiles
2017/10/19 14:23:36
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jonbristolfollowed @rmp
2017/10/19 14:23:36
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jonbristolfollowed @maxer27
2017/10/19 14:23:33
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}steemdelegated 18.341 SP to @jonbristol2017/10/13 05:13:45
steemdelegated 18.341 SP to @jonbristol
2017/10/13 05:13:45
| delegatee | jonbristol |
| delegator | steem |
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}ubgupvoted (1.00%) @jonbristol / tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt2-making-crypto-friends2017/10/11 02:51:51
ubgupvoted (1.00%) @jonbristol / tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt2-making-crypto-friends
2017/10/11 02:51:51
| author | jonbristol |
| permlink | tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt2-making-crypto-friends |
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}jonbristolpublished a new post: tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt2-making-crypto-friends2017/10/11 02:28:51
jonbristolpublished a new post: tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt2-making-crypto-friends
2017/10/11 02:28:51
| author | jonbristol |
| body | # Making Crypto Friends... # It's me again, *this time* I'll introduce myself as the **Monero Miner** from Trinidad and Tobago. Today I found two other miners in my home country, and I'm ecstatic. I honestly thought there weren't many like me out here. I've been sharing articles, retweeting tweets and personally evangelising the crypto tune but little have responded with interest. I found the first on [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/cryptominerstt/) and the second on [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO7lri92lSI). Naturally, of course, upon finding them, I promptly invited them both to feature in this blog series. From the little information I've gathered so far, one is mining Monero and the other Ethereum. They've been at it for a whole and are both very enthusiastic about cryptocurrencies. A decentralized exchange and website in the works as well, which, if I'm not mistaken would be the first crypto exchange created by a national of my own home country. So you can count on me supporting and providing coverage of their launches! I'm considering expanding this blog to include some features and guest posts by any new willing miners that I find in my community. That way fresh and new perspectives can be brought to the table, put on display and be up for discussion. All of this for our Steemit friends to be a part of. ## And Keeping Them... # Have any of you been to a Crypto meetup? I think I'd like to host one before the year is up. However, I have little to no experience in that field, I'll be sure to let you guys in on the planning phase and keep you updated throughout. I'd like for it to be a place where anyone can feel free to discuss their rigs, favourite coins or some of the more technical aspects of the blockchain. And let's not forget about the larger philosophies behind cryptocurrencies such as decentralisation, free markets, and libertarian principles, because *everyone* likes to talk about those things, *right?* ------- Thanks for all the support, especially @cryptoriddler and @mike26 who are my first two followers. Take care, and see you next time! |
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| parent author | |
| parent permlink | cryptocurrency |
| permlink | tiny-island-big-opportunity-pt2-making-crypto-friends |
| title | Tiny Island, Big Opportunity - PT2 Making Crypto Friends |
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"body": "# Making Crypto Friends...\n#\n\nIt's me again, *this time* I'll introduce myself as the **Monero Miner** from Trinidad and Tobago. \n\nToday I found two other miners in my home country, and I'm ecstatic. I honestly thought there weren't many like me out here. I've been sharing articles, retweeting tweets and personally evangelising the crypto tune but little have responded with interest. I found the first on [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/cryptominerstt/) and the second on [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO7lri92lSI). Naturally, of course, upon finding them, I promptly invited them both to feature in this blog series.\n\nFrom the little information I've gathered so far, one is mining Monero and the other Ethereum. They've been at it for a whole and are both very enthusiastic about cryptocurrencies. A decentralized exchange and website in the works as well, which, if I'm not mistaken would be the first crypto exchange created by a national of my own home country. So you can count on me supporting and providing coverage of their launches!\n\nI'm considering expanding this blog to include some features and guest posts by any new willing miners that I find in my community. That way fresh and new perspectives can be brought to the table, put on display and be up for discussion. All of this for our Steemit friends to be a part of.\n\n## And Keeping Them...\n#\n\nHave any of you been to a Crypto meetup? I think I'd like to host one before the year is up. However, I have little to no experience in that field, I'll be sure to let you guys in on the planning phase and keep you updated throughout. I'd like for it to be a place where anyone can feel free to discuss their rigs, favourite coins or some of the more technical aspects of the blockchain. And let's not forget about the larger philosophies behind cryptocurrencies such as decentralisation, free markets, and libertarian principles, because *everyone* likes to talk about those things, *right?*\n\n-------\n\nThanks for all the support, especially @cryptoriddler and @mike26 who are my first two followers. Take care, and see you next time!",
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jonbristolfollowed @cryptoriddler
2017/10/11 00:02:45
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}jonbristolfollowed @jrcornel2017/10/09 21:19:03
jonbristolfollowed @jrcornel
2017/10/09 21:19:03
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2017/10/09 21:18:33
| author | jonbristol |
| body | I'm familiar with this to be honest. Nothing I'm proud of being around 2011 I remember installing miners on some computers in the school I was attending then. Ultimately, I decided to delete them all before being caught and I have no idea where my wallet from that era is. But lesson learnt is, if you're determined enough you can find an ethical way to mine and profit from cryptocurrencies. Whether it's Proof of Work or Proof of Brain like it is here on Steemit. Thanks for the post @jrcornel |
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| title | |
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jonbristolupvoted (100.00%) @jrcornel / hackers-hacked-into-amazon-s-cloud-to-mine-bitcoin
2017/10/09 21:15:12
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2017/10/09 21:09:42
| author | jonbristol |
| body | This having no premine is especially interesting, it speaks well to the intention of the developer(s) behind it. As with any coin and the chain behind it, a certain amount of caution must be exercised. But from the looks of I wouldn't mind expanding my portfolio to include a bit of it. |
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2017/10/09 21:07:15
| author | khaaaarl |
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}jonbristoldeleted a comment or post2017/10/09 20:55:57
jonbristoldeleted a comment or post
2017/10/09 20:55:57
| author | jonbristol |
| permlink | re-jerrybanfield-what-is-an-initial-coin-offering-or-ico-20171009t193737046z |
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2017/10/09 19:38:18
| author | jonbristol |
| body | Hey Jerry, thanks alot for the info here. It was a precise *yet easy* read. As a novice I'm trying to do as much reading as possible before throwing around cash in investments, so I'm really thankful for bloggers like you. |
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2017/10/09 19:37:36
| author | jonbristol |
| body | Hey Jerry, thanks alot for the info here. It was a precise *yet easy* read. As a novice I'm trying to do as much reading as possible before throwing around cash in investments, so I'm really thankful for bloggers like you. |
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}jonbristolpublished a new post: tiny-island-big-opportunity2017/10/09 19:20:24
jonbristolpublished a new post: tiny-island-big-opportunity
2017/10/09 19:20:24
| author | jonbristol |
| body |  I'm still unsure as to who exactly my readership will comprise of here on Steemit. I'm a young black, male adult with interest ranging from rap and spoken word to cryptocurrencies and decentralisation. So my posts here will be a mixture of both as they remain close to my heart. Over the course of the upcoming weeks, we'll be exploring my journey into creating an inexpensive mining rig(s) and the lessons learned on the way there. So let's get to the main question you've been asking, what has any of this to do with the title? What is this tiny island? Well, I'm sure a great deal of you are from well-known areas of the globe, whose nations are probably in the news for much better news than [mine](http://www.cnc3.co.tt/press-release/us-travel-advisory-warns-visiting-areas-and-around-port-spain) might be. Negatives aside though, I'm from the beautiful twin island Republic of Trinidad and Tobago. -------- The factors that made me interested in cryptocurrencies will be dealt with extensively in some of the following blog posts. For now, we'll touch on the three basic considerations for mining any cryptocurrency: 1. Electricity cost, 2. Capital cost (machinery and miscellaneous equipment) and 3. Opportunity to spend (whether in its crypto form or exchanged into fiat). The cost of electricity (running cost) and the cost of investment (initial/capital cost) are the two major considerations every potential miner should be making note of. Let me say this. If I had to compete with miners from the US on potential profitability based on electrical cost alone I would undoubtedly lead the entire pack. Here's a look at the average price per kilowatt for the various [states](https://www.eia.gov/electricity/state/). The highest goes to Hawaii at 26.17 cents per kWh and the lowest goes to Washington at 7.4 cents per kWh. Trinidad's cost per kWh works out to be just [4 cents (PDF download)](https://ttec.co.tt/default/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Tariffs.pdf) per kWh when converted from our local TTD to USD. That's right, **electricity cost in my home country is lower than *every single state in the USA.*** With that said, you must be wondering what the initial investment will be like. The more curious readers would have noted that the exchange rate between the TTD (Trinidad and Tobago Dollar) and the USD is a paltry 0.15 to 1. We could have a lengthy discourse over the various cost of living metrics, however, for now, it'll suffice to say that we aren't going to employ the **traditional route of sourcing** equipment to mine on. *And for any concerned parties, everything done will be completely legal.* I hope this post served as a whet to keep you all coming back. Exciting things are up ahead, so to everyone, thanks for your time and it's great to be part of the same community here with you all. -- Jon |
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"body": "\n\nI'm still unsure as to who exactly my readership will comprise of here on Steemit. I'm a young black, male adult with interest ranging from rap and spoken word to cryptocurrencies and decentralisation. So my posts here will be a mixture of both as they remain close to my heart. \n\nOver the course of the upcoming weeks, we'll be exploring my journey into creating an inexpensive mining rig(s) and the lessons learned on the way there.\n\nSo let's get to the main question you've been asking, what has any of this to do with the title? What is this tiny island? Well, I'm sure a great deal of you are from well-known areas of the globe, whose nations are probably in the news for much better news than [mine](http://www.cnc3.co.tt/press-release/us-travel-advisory-warns-visiting-areas-and-around-port-spain) might be. Negatives aside though, I'm from the beautiful twin island Republic of Trinidad and Tobago. \n\n--------\n\nThe factors that made me interested in cryptocurrencies will be dealt with extensively in some of the following blog posts. For now, we'll touch on the three basic considerations for mining any cryptocurrency:\n1. Electricity cost, \n2. Capital cost (machinery and miscellaneous equipment) and \n3. Opportunity to spend (whether in its crypto form or exchanged into fiat).\n\nThe cost of electricity (running cost) and the cost of investment (initial/capital cost) are the two major considerations every potential miner should be making note of.\n\nLet me say this. If I had to compete with miners from the US on potential profitability based on electrical cost alone I would undoubtedly lead the entire pack. Here's a look at the average price per kilowatt for the various [states](https://www.eia.gov/electricity/state/). The highest goes to Hawaii at 26.17 cents per kWh and the lowest goes to Washington at 7.4 cents per kWh.\n\nTrinidad's cost per kWh works out to be just [4 cents (PDF download)](https://ttec.co.tt/default/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Tariffs.pdf) per kWh when converted from our local TTD to USD.\n\nThat's right, **electricity cost in my home country is lower than *every single state in the USA.***\n\nWith that said, you must be wondering what the initial investment will be like. The more curious readers would have noted that the exchange rate between the TTD (Trinidad and Tobago Dollar) and the USD is a paltry 0.15 to 1.\n\nWe could have a lengthy discourse over the various cost of living metrics, however, for now, it'll suffice to say that we aren't going to employ the **traditional route of sourcing** equipment to mine on.\n\n*And for any concerned parties, everything done will be completely legal.*\n\nI hope this post served as a whet to keep you all coming back. Exciting things are up ahead, so to everyone, thanks for your time and it's great to be part of the same community here with you all.\n\n-- Jon",
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}jonbristolfollowed @mike262017/10/09 12:55:45
jonbristolfollowed @mike26
2017/10/09 12:55:45
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}irbotupvoted (50.00%) @jonbristol / infrastructure2017/10/09 01:11:12
irbotupvoted (50.00%) @jonbristol / infrastructure
2017/10/09 01:11:12
| author | jonbristol |
| permlink | infrastructure |
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}jonbristolpublished a new post: infrastructure2017/10/09 00:39:33
jonbristolpublished a new post: infrastructure
2017/10/09 00:39:33
| author | jonbristol |
| body | *A poetic expression of some of my struggles growing up. Told through an extended metaphor of a driver on the roadway.* Slow and steady wins the race, but be mindful now... stationary isn't a pace. Well I've shifted into neutral (a familiar place for the gear shift) waiting for this amber to transform, seems being extra cautious has become the norm. I hear persons zooming by doppler effect colouring their laughter. Overtaking me in this race, left me in my lane and in my place. But I'm comfortable here… And I’m stuck here… And I don’t know what any other place feels like. When I speak of fear - I reference this unending doubt that holds tremendous clout over my actions and whatever I think about ... Uncertainty is my fiercest enemy, which is odd because doubting is my prime proclivity. (Will I be enough?) (Will I measure up?) (Will I rise as aspirations or as disillusions drop?) Well, I've traveled a few of these roads. They lead me to various precarious places without familiar faces. In my pursuit of belonging, it's always so evasive... But the faces I do see all share the Same Expressions just redundant apathetic indifferent Stoic Dispositions. No one cares to hear me out… I built a moat to keep them out. I clogged my ear so I wouldn’t hear, the caring counsel of a friend, desperately fighting to see my fever end. These roads, I travelled. These roads, I hate. These roads, my troubles, these lanes create. These Roads! May be many, but my life is one, and if things travel faster in a straight line, maybe I should leave the past all behind, because it's twists and turns, leave me lonesome burns, switching lanes every time calamity came, looking back I'd never do it all the same. Or maybe I would, because I love the pain, as if it's my own self atoning punishment for the sins I commit, behold self mutilation, can’t say you weren’t warned of it. --------------------------------------------------------- The first time I cut was in college. Just shallow cuts on the forearm, forced harm fraying the upper epidermis, a microcosm of a crisis. I felt relief as I bled, well at least I thought I did. The next day the lines were discovered, and not an ounce of sympathy recovered. Decided, not to cut… anywhere that wouldn't be covered. The blade rose to rest on my brachium, same pain, same pleasure, same cuts that made me numb. Oh, I knew it was wrong, and it didn’t help with coping. But I did the cutting! I held the blade. I held regrets and longed for the grave. It was me who drew the blood from my arms like water from a well, then feigned acceptable answers, told everyone I was simply swell. It's not metaphorical or analogical It’s not some sort of played out hypothetical. Oh, the lacerations in my flesh, the palpitations in my chest testify that I couldn’t cope with this, I couldn’t fathom why I’d exist. And it made me so sick, that I couldn't cloak it... So I sought out the easy escape. These quick fixes - caught betwixt! Self defeat inducing and self image reducing; left me seeking suicide more times than I could count, too many instances where my mind would drift off to vast distances thinking, “what if, what if I were no more.” That’s what’s left when you see life itself as a chore. Thankfully I learned to manage, this carnage of my life in pieces, to control the damage, to pack up the baggage, clear the drainage, stay within the dosage, do everything in my power in order not to mismanage the good memories, because there was a shortage... ------------------------ Let' talk about bridges and the gaps they supposedly connect. I’ve never chanced upon a bridge that was riskless yet. So every step made upon, is a gamble with beyond. One could slip into another state, meet an end of their earthly fate... Every time I've approached an overpass, I’ve wondered if the structure would last, under the burden of my weight, would it, it’s duty abdicate? Bridges are intermediaries between point A and point B - that always seemed pretty pointless to me. Because every time I'd attempt a crossing, some haphazard happenstance of a circumstance would occur- that I'd end up remorsing. No one wants to grow up. We don't. We tell ourselves that we do, that we long for the freedom too, but that's a claim made in heady haste and desperately devoid of all wisdom. Because the chain of freedom is responsibility and that’s chained to accountability and ultimately, those links proved too heavy for me. There are bridges I'd rather burn than build! Glasses that I'd rather keel than fill! There are things I’m comfortable leaving unresolved, to leave unwound than to convolve. I don’t fight to tie up the loose ends, with is why I leave a wake of one close friends. I guess bridges aren't for cowards, like me, I guess that's why I never get to point B. ------------------------ Ever been pulled over? Pulled aside? Pulled away? Pulled down or apart? If not you're lucky, because it affects the heart. I have an issue with authority. Maybe the singular doesn't do much justice... I have issues with authorities. Never liked the idea of anyone being over me. Not so much of fright, but one of insecurity when I lie on my bed at night... I feel as if even surface level questions are probing, and I can feel my sanity folding, it's not something I take lightly. This had been a heavy hindrance between me and my mother, who at this time rarely even bothers to bother… but I’m trying, after all, it’s a commandment with promise right? I went to counselling once, against my will. Can't remember what became of those sessions, hopefully I learned some lessons. His face was familiar, years earlier he preached at my dad’s funeral. Well I guess it would have made relating a bit more, natural? I hear the horns honking behind me, they're ready to go, but I'm at a standstill. A standstill with no traffic, how ironic. |
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| title | Infrastructure |
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"body": "*A poetic expression of some of my struggles growing up.\nTold through an extended metaphor of a driver on the roadway.*\n\nSlow and steady wins the race, but be mindful now... stationary isn't a pace.\n\nWell I've shifted into neutral (a familiar place for the gear shift) waiting for this amber to transform, seems being extra cautious has become the norm.\nI hear persons zooming by doppler effect colouring their laughter.\nOvertaking me in this race, left me in my lane and in my place.\n\nBut I'm comfortable here… And I’m stuck here… And I don’t know what any other place feels like.\n\nWhen I speak of fear - I reference this unending doubt that holds tremendous clout over my actions and whatever I think about ...\nUncertainty is my fiercest enemy, which is odd because doubting is my prime proclivity.\n(Will I be enough?) (Will I measure up?)\n(Will I rise as aspirations or as disillusions drop?)\n\nWell, I've traveled a few of these roads. They lead me to various precarious places without familiar faces. In my pursuit of belonging, it's always so evasive... But the faces I do see all share the Same Expressions just redundant apathetic indifferent Stoic Dispositions.\nNo one cares to hear me out… I built a moat to keep them out. I clogged my ear so I wouldn’t hear, the caring counsel of a friend, desperately fighting to see my fever end.\nThese roads, I travelled. These roads, I hate. These roads, my troubles, these lanes create. These Roads! May be many, but my life is one, and if things travel faster in a straight line, maybe I should leave the past all behind, because it's twists and turns, leave me lonesome burns, switching lanes every time calamity came, looking back I'd never do it all the same. Or maybe I would, because I love the pain, as if it's my own self atoning punishment for the sins I commit, behold self mutilation, can’t say you weren’t warned of it.\n\n---------------------------------------------------------\n\nThe first time I cut was in college. Just shallow cuts on the forearm, forced harm fraying the upper epidermis, a microcosm of a crisis. I felt relief as I bled, well at least I thought I did. The next day the lines were discovered, and not an ounce of sympathy recovered. Decided, not to cut… anywhere that wouldn't be covered. The blade rose to rest on my brachium, same pain, same pleasure, same cuts that made me numb. Oh, I knew it was wrong, and it didn’t help with coping.\nBut I did the cutting! I held the blade. I held regrets and longed for the grave.\n\nIt was me who drew the blood from my arms like water from a well, then feigned acceptable answers, told everyone I was simply swell.\nIt's not metaphorical or analogical It’s not some sort of played out hypothetical. Oh, the lacerations in my flesh, the palpitations in my chest testify that I couldn’t cope with this, I couldn’t fathom why I’d exist.\nAnd it made me so sick, that I couldn't cloak it... So I sought out the easy escape.\n\nThese quick fixes - caught betwixt! Self defeat inducing and self image reducing; left me seeking suicide more times than I could count, too many instances where my mind would drift off to vast distances thinking, “what if, what if I were no more.” That’s what’s left when you see life itself as a chore. Thankfully I learned to manage, this carnage of my life in pieces, to control the damage, to pack up the baggage, clear the drainage, stay within the dosage, do everything in my power in order not to mismanage the good memories, because there was a shortage...\n\n------------------------\n\nLet' talk about bridges and the gaps they supposedly connect. I’ve never chanced upon a bridge that was riskless yet. So every step made upon, is a gamble with beyond. One could slip into another state, meet an end of their earthly fate... Every time I've approached an overpass, I’ve wondered if the structure would last, under the burden of my weight, would it, it’s duty abdicate? \nBridges are intermediaries between point A and point B - that always seemed pretty pointless to me. Because every time I'd attempt a crossing, some haphazard happenstance of a circumstance would occur- that I'd end up remorsing. \n\nNo one wants to grow up. We don't. We tell ourselves that we do, that we long for the freedom too, but that's a claim made in heady haste and desperately devoid of all wisdom. Because the chain of freedom is responsibility and that’s chained to accountability and ultimately, those links proved too heavy for me. There are bridges I'd rather burn than build! Glasses that I'd rather keel than fill! There are things I’m comfortable leaving unresolved, to leave unwound than to convolve. I don’t fight to tie up the loose ends, with is why I leave a wake of one close friends. I guess bridges aren't for cowards, like me, I guess that's why I never get to point B.\n\n------------------------\n\nEver been pulled over? Pulled aside? Pulled away? Pulled down or apart? If not you're lucky, because it affects the heart. I have an issue with authority. Maybe the singular doesn't do much justice... I have issues with authorities. Never liked the idea of anyone being over me. Not so much of fright, but one of insecurity when I lie on my bed at night...\nI feel as if even surface level questions are probing, and I can feel my sanity folding, it's not something I take lightly. This had been a heavy hindrance between me and my mother, who at this time rarely even bothers to bother… but I’m trying, after all, it’s a commandment with promise right?\n\nI went to counselling once, against my will. Can't remember what became of those sessions, hopefully I learned some lessons. His face was familiar, years earlier he preached at my dad’s funeral. Well I guess it would have made relating a bit more, natural?\n\nI hear the horns honking behind me, they're ready to go, but I'm at a standstill.\nA standstill with no traffic, how ironic.",
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