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I hadn’t really ever had any ambition to go on a cruise but I talked to my main squeeze along with my daughter. They both got really excited and basically coerced me into going. Actually the closer it got the more excited I got. I have never really been out of the states, so since I didn’t have to come up with all the money up front I went ahead and booked it and with my sister and everybody that went it wasn’t that expensive.  Which ended up being good because I ended up losing my job in January of 2012 . Anyway as was customary at the time we get together with my sister and a bunch of friends for evenings of food and revelry along with copious amounts of tequila and discuss the cruise, what we were envisioning, and what we should bring with us and that is when the idea hit. Us guys all thought it would be funny to wear speedos when we got to the beach. Now mind you, most of us are in our early to mid 40’s. Some  of have the proverbial dad bods other have a more generous proverbial dad bod (that would be me).\n\nNow mind you, all of us guys were supposed to wear speedos on our annual float trip too and yours truly was the only one the had the… guts to wear one. Now when I say speedo I am not talking about the brand and baggy board short type. I am talking the nut hugging put all your manhood out there on display kind of speedo. The kind Micheal Phelps wore in the Olympics type of speedo.\n\nAs the trip grew closer the guys started getting a little uneasy about actually wearing one of those fabulous pieces of fabric and were backing out of that idea fast. Well not me! I looked and searched in my hometown for a speedo. I finally found them. HOLY GOD ! These damn things are expensive! At the time for a speedo brand swim trunk they wanted almost $65! Now normally I am a tight ass and don’t like spending money on something like this and this time was no different. The way I figured it I was only going to wear this thing one time and wasn’t going to spend that kind of money for something I would wear once. (After the cruise I found they do come in handy as undies when your in a pinch). Fast forward to the few days before the cruise. We had to meet the boat in Coco beach Florida and I have still to find one of these nut huggers (cheap) we searched all the swim shops in Coco beach and still nothing. We even went to the Ronjon shop there, they had the speedos but they were even more expensive because ya know you’re at the world famous Ronjon. Anyway we were down to the last day and I was starting to lose hope in finding something when we walked into one of the many beach shops and what did I spy???   SPEEDOS! Score! They had about five different colors, red, blue, green white, hurt your eyes pink and Canary yellow.  Well I love the color blue so you know which one I chose, yep you guessed it canary yellow! Why did I choose yellow? I thought if I was gonna do it I was gonna be as “Fabulous” looking as I could. LOL! Of course I wanted to add to my outfit and since I am not really that out going I kind of wanted to disguise my true identity, remember I am on a cruise ship with about 3000 other people. Well my girl, my daughter and I searched for the right sun glasses, the right hat and the right bling which I decided against the bling because I wouldn’t wear something flashy and gaudy after this. My daughter ended up letting me use her mirrored cop sunglasses aka aviator shades. Now finding the right hat was harder to find, I tried on just about everything. My best girl was partial to the captains cap, however I wasn’t sold on it so I kept looking when I came across THE perfect ensemble to complete my look. It was a baseball cap with long black hair stapled to the band. By now the sales girl has come over because all three of us where just about on the floor with laughter. She asked if she could help or if something was wrong, and in between breaths of laughter we told her what we were doing. She loved the idea and was laughing at the thought of my fat body wearing this bright yellow banana hammock with the mirrored sun glasses, and the flowing black hair ball cap, she was just about on the floor with laughter by the time we left and wishing she could go to see the looks on people faces when they got a load of this fine specimen of a man.  \n\nFast forward… we landed in Nassau and had a fun time seeing how other people live and some of the culture and accidentally wandering into a seedy part of town. Once you see the police station surrounded by a ten foot wall with iron spikes on top you kinda think, maybe we shouldn’t be here, so we turned around and headed back. As we were walking we found this little pink and white building in the middle of a little park like area. Curious we walked over to it and went inside. Turns out it was an actual working library. If I had to guess the diameter to be maybe thirty feet across and it was two stories high. It was one the most awesomest (if that is a word) thing I have come across.  Anyway, back to the boat we went and met up with everyone else we had come with.\n\nWe left the port that night and headed to cruise lines own personal island. I have to say that I don’t think I have ever slept better than the nights we spent underway. The gentle rocking of the boat rocked me to sleep like a baby and kept me asleep.\n\nThe next day we dropped anchor out in the bay of half moon cay. That was one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. Blue water, white sand beach, green palm trees and shrubbery and different colored flowers. Basically a deserted island. I think a few people stay there that work for the cruise line. Well the time came to hop onto their lil shuttles and motor over to the island. All three of us hit the beach intending on getting plenty of sun and having a great time. Now before leaving the boat i had put my fabulous canary yellow nut huger on and then put my regular swim trunks on over them. Oh, I forgot to mention that everyone in our group kept asking me since we left Florida if I had one of those damn speedos and if I did to stay away from them because they didn’t want to be embarrassed. WELL! Me embarrass them on purpose? I usually only did that with massive amounts of alcohol. LOL!\n\n Anyway we found a spot on the beach that had one of those beach tent things, put our stuff down and hit the water. It was amazing! It was like climbing into bath water, warm and inviting. We seen schools of fish, saw a flounder (I think) one of those flat fish that lay on the bottom of the ocean. We had been there probably two hours when my girl friend asked if I was going to get down to my speedo. I said yes in a little bit. I was actually trying to muster up the courage to do it. Last time I was in a speedo was on our annual float trip and I was pretty well pickled by the time I had dropped the speedo bomb on everyone embarrassing the guys immensely. Like I said in the beginning I don’t like to draw attention to myself when I’m sober. I’m a pretty quiet person and just want to fade into the crowd. Now here I am on a beach with what I am betting was at least two thirds of the boat on the beach I am guessing around 2000 people. I haven’t had one drop of liquor and had all the intention in the world to strut this gorgeous body on the beach. That was before I seen how many people were there and the lack of liquid courage in my body. Now my girl is really hounding me, “are you gonna do it?” “are you gonna do it?” continued..\n\nWe had gotten out of the water and was sitting under our umbrella tent thing getting out of the sun trying to cool off when my girl asking me for the umpteenth time if I was going to do it. We had been there for probably four hours by this time and I have been trying to gather my courage I finally said the hell with it. I stood up dropped my swim trunks and let the glory of that canary yellow speedo shine! I put on my ball cap with the long flowing black hair threw my mirrored sun glasses on grabbed my girl friends hand tightly and said, come on! Our little umbrella tent thing was at the back of the beach, ya know so we aren’t noticed. Well I held my head high and commenced to strutting my stuff down to the waters edge the whole time holding my girl friends hand so tight that I thought it come off. I walked down that beach in front of two thousand people like I was someone important, like I had purpose. At least that’s how I envisioned it in my mind, however I think looked more like a cocky redneck throwing my chest out and pushing my ass back looking out into the ocean to see if I can find the people I had come with. I probably embarrassed the hell out of my girlfriend though.\n\nThose shocked people must have thought they were encountering greatness when I flaunted this god like body down the beach in front everyone.  You should have heard these people, OH MY GOD! LOOK! or LOOK LOOK! or just OH MY GOD! With comments like that I am thinking some of the ladies fainted and the men were jealous, however I didn’t pay any attention to these mere peasants I kept my eyes on the sea to find my people.\n\nFinally, I find my sister, sister in law and one of her friends that came with her.  The look  I got from my sister and my sister in laws friend was priceless. I come swimming/walking up to her and started asking her where the guys were. Of course she looked at me at first like who the hell is this freak then she heard my voice and she recognized me.   I think that’s when they all noticed my speedo. My sister blushes, sister in law is doing the smiling and doing the  Oh my god thing and her friend which later I find out was gay, had this horrified look on her face. By the way, I had never met this woman before this day. She turned out to be funny as hell once she realized what was going on and who I was.\n\nNow time to find the guys. I sauntered over to them and said “hey guys” of course they were taken back by my long flowing locks then they realized it was me. They hadn’t seen me in a couple of hours and being guys and knowing that I might have been lying to them about not having a speedo the first thing they do is look down to see if I have the speedo on. Much to their dismay and horror I was flaunting this skimpy piece of cloth around them LOL! God I love embarrassing these guys.\n\nAfter about an hour of being out in the water the time was getting nearer to have to go back to the boat so we all started heading to the beach. As the water kept getting lower the closer to the beach we got a comment was made from my girl friend or my sister can’t remember which now that they could see my butt crack as in it was very visible through the cloth. That’s when I had the horrific thought that if people can see my butt crack that clear what the hell does the front side look like.  Now if I have to show this physique to adults ok but I don’t want to scare small children. Luckily someone had the forethought to make the front double thick. Whew!! Well since one of our friends couldn’t make the trip and here birthday coincided with our trip my sister wanted to take some pictures with me in them. She is always wanting a cabana boy. Cheri. LOL! Who was I to deny her something better than a cabana boy, when she could have pictures of a bronze god such as myself. (ok maybe not bronze, but a deep shade of pinkish red)\n\nWell it was time to go back to the ship which was just fine by me. I was tired and royally cooked. When we got back to the ship I could swear I had a third degree sunburn. I was miserable for the next week. Sore from the burn, water blisters all over my body giving the appearance of leaking lobster. Then come the peeling of the skin. I peeled twice. The first layer came off in big swaths, and by big i’m talking sheets of paper size. The second peeling wasn’t as bad but after all was said and done I could have made a skin suit for a small  child.\n\nAnyway that was the first and last cruise I have been on other that the Pirates of the Caribbean cruise at Disney world when I was young’un.\n\nHope you enjoyed my story and thanks for taking the time to read my work.",
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      "body": "Betsy Voss has been persecuted by the left for not coming from an educational background. For not knowing anything about the educational system and has been vilified for wanting to change the way kids are educated because the archaic system we have now and the ignorance of the left and their attempt at common core has turned kids into a brain dead bunch of snowflakes and yes I am talking about the kids from the right as well as the left. \n\nWhen parents from the left coast of California are suing because their kids have been kept dumbed down because they have not been taught to read you know there is a problem. Yes I am putting the parents on blast too for not taking the time to be parents and help the kids to learn.\n\n( Maybe abortion is a good thing for people. If you don’t want to take the time to be parents then don’t have them.) \n\nMaybe try it Vosses way and see if it works or just have a bunch of dumb asses walking the streets like L.A does now, not able to read and have to use pictures to communicate. If we are going to progress into the future and not become a third world nation and fall farther behind we have to leave this archaic way of learning behind.\n\n https://theblacksphere.net/2017/12/leftists-suing-california-schools/",
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      "body": "Did anyone ever dream of living your life a certain way when you were younger? Did you follow your dream?  I didn’t and wonder how different my life would be if I would have followed my dream. When I was in my early years of high school, my dream was to live up in the mountains of Montana, Wyoming, or Idaho with my own little log cabin that I built. It would have a cold stream running nearby with plenty of fish for food and not a neighbor around for miles. No phone (this was before cell phones), no electricity, just my skills and hard work to get by. To be totally self-sufficient. Then life happened. It seemed the older I became the dimmer my dream became. The hustle of graduating from high school, getting a job, the good times with the friends and dating then marriage, kids, and working my butt off to provide a good life for the family. And after 25 years of working, getting divorced, raising kids to be responsible adults, falling in love again and seeing that after all my years of working for everyone else, that I am not where I thought I would be in my life.\n\nThe other day I came across an article with a video about Daniel Suelo. The headline said ” Meet Daniel Suelo- The man who quit money.” Seeing that headline intrigued me enough to read and watch the video ( I will put a link to the video below). He talked about what made him walk away from money and his philosophy on money and as I was listening to him talk, I found myself reminiscing about the little cabin in the mountains with the quiet solitude, of the gurgling of the stream, and the sounds of nature, and thinking this guy has figured it out. Basically the secret to happiness, I thought. Listening to him talk about how “money causes worry which is contrary to nature”. My girlfriend and I moved out to California a little over a year ago so hopefully she could get a job in the field she went to college for, but alas she is still searching. Not because she isn’t qualified but we think because of her age, she is now 52 and it seems that companies do not want to hire a person that is experienced in life. Which has also gotten me to thinking, if I lost my job now could I walk away from everything? By everything I mean a job, car, cell phone, computer, house, bills everything. Would I be happier without having what little I have come to “own” and by own, I mean financed in my name? If so, would life be easier to live like a self-appointed homeless existence or would it be harder? I am thinking it would be very hard, in the beginning, learning how to change a lifestyle that I have had for 35 years. Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming anyone for the way my life has turned out and it’s not a bad life, it’s just been a life of what seems to be a constant struggle to just get by. It’s not been a life of bad decisions, yes there has been some, but it’s been of some bad decisions and of events beyond my control.\n\nHow about anyone reading this? Did you follow your dream? Is life like you wanted or dreamed about? If not, are you fed up with the life you have made? Do you think you could walk away from money to live a self-appointed homeless existence?  Thanks for reading my ramblings, \n                                                                                              Thoughts of an Average Joe\n\nhttps://youtu.be/cDGZqaA9G9s",
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