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      "body": "写公众号的初衷是想普及一些圈内的事情，比如：HIV，一些观点啦，说起HIV我就又突然想起一件事来，发生的不久，就在前几天。\n没错，就如同“我不是药神”说的，真有其事，情节后来加上去的。\n![WechatIMG178.jpeg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmU6aKkkWr6vgbcbZG1Mzi4AdzY4Lg1yofUZGX1zZKmLDK)\n\n那个故事的主角的叫：世英，一个胆大心细却缺爱的大男孩，才18岁。\n世英是我在上海认识的。踏入上海的土地我就感觉压抑的快节凑气氛从心底浮起，我曾在上海工作几年，却依然逃脱不了大城市的压迫感。\n可世英却说，喜欢魔都，喜欢这花天酒地的夜景，喜欢这里那么洋气的同性恋。\n至于在登巴客栈世英为什么和我搭讪然后去洗手间做一些不可说的事情来，我想他可能把我当成猎物了，也有一种可能，被我浑身散发的情欲吸引了，我想前者会多一点。\n\n吃馄饨的时候，我问他：\n“你来上海干什么？”\n他犹豫一会儿看着碗里漂浮的葱油沫子，说：\n“我可能属于这里，属于这虚无缥缈的上海夜景，还有这里洋气的gay。”\n“你不工作吗？”\n我问，随后我的大脑快速运转了下，牺牲了几万脑细胞，我不该去问别人的隐私，更何况他才18岁，青春期谁不叛逆，我那会儿又是非主流又是耳钉鼻钉唇钉涂黑指甲，头发上抹着硬硬的发胶能戳死人，18岁的青春看似美好，却隐藏着一个连自己都发现不了即使发现了也改不了的冲动：就是：爱幻想。\n\n成天幻想被哪个有钱的富婆？或者高富帅包养，自己呆在家里养一只阿拉斯加，穿着家居服，下班了，高富帅回家一进门就给他一个大大的拥抱，然后撒娇似的点个外卖，（我那时没有外卖），坐在客厅的大电视机面前，茶几上摆着各种坚果零食，躺在高富帅的怀里，等静静。\n\n我那时就是这样幻想着，幻想着幻想着就来到了上海，不知道从哪一天起，才明白这种幻想真的是白日梦，然后就努力去打工了。\n我觉得世英现在的幻想和我当时没有区别，不同的是，他不需要爱情，只要肉体，每天和不同的人谈情做爱。所以他在北京混了几年，现在仍然没有恋爱过，这看似可悲却单纯。\n \n“不想工作，我觉得现在挺好的。”世英喝了一口馄饨汤看着来来往往的车辆。\n“那你的钱哪来的？”\n我又问了不该问的话，其实我尽可能的避免谈到“钱”，可我大脑不听使唤，脱口而出，真想打自己两个嘴巴子。\n“之前有个男人包养我，也不算包养吧，就是在一起了，他就给我钱花，给我买衣服，你看，我的hollsiter就是他给我买的。他对我很好，不久前分了，他不在给我钱了。可能玩腻了吧。”\n他指了指身上的那件刺有戏哦啊海鸥图标的粉白色衬衣。\n\n“哦。”我低头迅速夹起一块春卷送入嘴巴，然后捧起碗，小口的吹着汤里的葱油沫，小声的喝着，仍发出声响。\n \n下雨了，世英提议去外滩压马路，在上海几年，我从没有晚上去外滩，雨中的外滩灯光可能更加绚丽吧，才8点。\n \n我和世英认识不过10小时，有时候我就在想，只是一瞬间，我想如果他能有一份正当的工作，可能他真的适合谈恋爱。\n对于缺爱的人来说，遇到一份真诚的爱情，他会牢牢把握住。后来一想，井柏然和倪妮都分手了，看似美好的爱情其实都是假象，心理也就释然了：\n\n**世英的生活方式已经被新媒体里说的那种gay深深的感染了，他喜欢魔都这样的大城市，他爱慕虚荣，他觉得穿hollister很洋气，背着盗版川久保玲纸袋子，像个贵妇一样，逛各大商场。**\n \n前几天半夜，他跟我发微信，那时我已经睡着了，第二天早晨我才起来看到。\n他说：“我没想到这一天来的这么快。”\n我摸不着头脑，但也猜到几分，像他这种滥情的人性生活该有多乱。\n“HIV……”\n我没有很惊讶，即使确诊感染了也没有什么好慌的，按时吃药还能活他个几十年，没什么好怕的。\n\n世英告诉我，他在blued上认识一个35岁的男人，然后就无套做了。在他家住了3天，做了3次。直到最后一次，看到男人吃抗HIV的药，瞬间心理跌到了低谷，现在感到害怕，想起了农村的父母，感觉对不起他们。\n世英问男人为什么不告诉他感染了还无套？他和他闹翻了，世英就搬到了酒店，男人给了他五千块钱，让他去检测下。\n\n我告诉世英高危行为的检测3个月后为准，即使现在检测没问题也不要大意，这些只是我的好心提示，3个月让他不约人等于断了他的财路，毕竟他是靠身体吃饭的。\n\n昨天我看他朋友圈，他发了一张图，唾液检测试纸，显示的健康，可才1个月不到，他似乎放松警惕了，青春期的荷尔蒙时常会麻痹当事人的神经，左右他的大脑。\n我评论：3个月后在检测一下以确保。\n他没回复，估计没当回事了，放松了。\n也好。\n\n题外：\n魔都的吸引力在于它繁华的假象，繁华的背后是一群不要命工作的人。世英喜欢的是还是这种假象，那么他永远也融不进去，也只能生活在这个假象中。\n",
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