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      "body": "<center>![money-2724241_640.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmQ5LAbR6zDktUuMw1vRKhcVJtVZHG3g4C57RRvy23tFuq/money-2724241_640.jpg)\n<i>\"Out of the darkness and into the light.\"</i></center>\nSeeds planted under the cloak of night rise up and expand into the light. When our comfort zone becomes uncomfortable, it's due to the cramping of conditions. Conditions that need to be broken through. These breakthroughs usually occur after we've had some sort of breakdown. The breakdown leads us to the realization that we've outgrown what <i>has been</i>.\n\nIf we are to keep going, we must push beyond by detaching from what was. This letting go frees us to grab onto what's coming. What's coming is the harvest, but we must stretch and reach forward to get to the summit. There's a <i>bright</i> future a<b>head</b>. Until then, we ascend. Inward and upward. Until we've reached the <i>peaking</i> point, where the fruits of our labor finally bloom. Having risen above the past, we can <i>peek</i> back with newfound clarity. Hindsight <b>is</b> foresight. Knowing where we've been indicates what yet looms over<b>head</b>. How far we've come is a window into how far we'll go. ∞\n\n<center>![stairs-1209439_640.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmcsn2f2WeAwz3Hu69iYaBADcbRmL2goAEM5SresntbxYS/stairs-1209439_640.jpg)</center>\n\n>\"Be fruitful and multiply.\"\n\nWhen we're in the middle of a major transition, a major cycle of growth, it might not be immediately apparent. We might not recognize the metamorphosis that's taking place. As old things fade out, we may be so centered in the pain of their loss that we don't yet see the light of abundance on its way. Abundance that can't reach us until we've cleared our inner and outer space to make room for it. Death, dissolution, and liquidation precedes multiplication. This multiplication is the dissemination, diffusion, and the scattering about of new visions.\n\nThe most profound stages of growth take place in hiding (subconscious). That is, until it's time to <b>come out</b> (make conscious). Until it's time to get turned back on. [To emerge from hibernation](https://steemit.com/occult/@heathersilvey/day-16-of-30-days-30-posts-emergence). To beam, to radiate, with renewed vigor. To radiate is to emit, to diffuse, to give off, and/or to emanate. Atziluth: We're inspired to give out. Briah: Ready to create, new thoughts begin to take shape. Yetzirah: Blueprints finalized and images impressed, anchored in<b>form</b>aton spreads. Assiah: Motivated, we take action and bring our vision into the light of manifestation.\n\nTo multiply is to increase in size, quantity, and/or quality. To chart this, we would see an arrow gradually ascending. Gradual, because promotive change that endures appears to be slow, steady, and consistent. There'll be periodic declines in the ascent. However, even the slight drops of backtracking will still be at higher levels than in previous stages. It's because this ascent is gradual that we often aren't aware of how much progress we're making while we're in the midst of it. Not until we actually reflect on how far we've come.\n\nThis slow charge, this build-up, can trigger sudden upsets in our lives. These dramatic bursts will be noted as little blips (ascents/descents) in our imaginary graph. These tumultuous events can come to us in exciting moments or disappointing ones. There'll be a peak and a sudden drop. From there, we can then return to the heights we fell from. This may be followed again by a brief plateau or period of of <b>adjustment</b> before further progress is made. The plateau can be seen as a horizontal <b>flat</b>line, a <b>dead</b> zone, or a lull in activity. This evens us out as we re-enter that period of elimination. Again, releasing to hold on and to re-stabilize. But not for too long, though, because we must keep things moving and shaking.\n\nThis concludes today's article for my [30 Days, 30 Posts challenge](https://steemit.com/writing/@heathersilvey/30-days-30-posts-challenge-a-new-year-s-resolution). Tomorrow's topic of discussion will be about <b>Hearing</b>. Yesterday's article was on [Control](https://steemit.com/esoteric/@heathersilvey/day-18-of-30-days-30-posts-control).",
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      "body": "<center>![hulk-667988_640.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmNyWb53kwuhQ2FaXxNznSNFKzVfaHnqnQf5vbUoUW7cHx/hulk-667988_640.jpg)\n<i>Got it <b>hand</b>led!</i></center>\n\nWhen we feel we are in control, we gain a sense of security, stability, and empowerment. To be in control of something is to have a good grasping on it. To grasp and to handle is another way of saying, \"to comprehend\". Before we can make use of our newfound power, we must first understand it in order to successfully employ it. This can only happen through testing, trying, and experimenting.\n\nPower <i>is</i> desire, and to subdue that power, we must pass through the trials of temptation. Temptation comes from Latin's <i>temptare</i>, which means <i>to feel</i>, <i>to influence</i>, <i>to handle</i>, and <i>to test</i>. Whenever we gain a new advantageous position, our own might, inner resolve, will be tried before we can \"come to grips\" with our inheritance.\n\n>\"Every level has a new Devil.\"\n\nTo do so, we must restrain ourselves through self-discipline. All power and authority must be restricted if it's to have any real application. Abusing power ultimately leads to instability, upset, and disorder (a total lack of control). Harmonious flow with internal and external forces is how we achieve mastery over any situation. We slay the beast through cooperation with it. True will power rolls with the punches by working with, and not against, change.\n\n<center><i>Use the Force!</i>\n![magician-1821550_640.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmddGrwG7ommqp66tAZ13wrhJ62smf935aucBjeH8mKtSr/magician-1821550_640.jpg)</center>\n\nTo put something to use is to utilize, harness, wield, manipulate (Latin for <i>manipulus</i>, meaning <i>handful</i>), and control it. The wand symbolizes the Will. Wands also represent the element of fire, energy, or spiritual <b>force</b>. A person <i>held</i> responsible for a situation has been put in <b>charge</b>. This person takes initiative and sets boundaries by proposing and <i>enforcing</i> rules and laws. Those under rule that disobey the law are likely to be criminally <i>charged</i>.\n\nTo charge into something is to exert a violent force of opposition. This is done so in an attempt to gain power and control over an opponent. To feel fully recharged is to be energetically renewed. To charge a device is to electrically em<b>power</b> it.\n\nPower, impulse, desire, and e-motion—they're behind all of our motives. It's important that we learn how to not act or react impulsively. A little introspection can go a long way if we are to come to terms with our unconscious impulses. Many of us are driven and <i>controlled by</i> unruly desires and emotions. This lack of self-restraint often leaves a path of chaos and destruction in its wake.\n\nAn unpleasant emotion isn't necessarily good or bad. Negative emotions, properly understood, <i>can</i> find healthy expression. We can get to their roots by talking them out with an unbiased party. We can let go of them by crying. Or we can channel them into art, music, or some other creative pursuit. Likewise, an excessive desire for pleasure isn't necessarily healthy either. We can obsessively want someone we can't or shouldn't be with (example: Extramarital affairs). Forceful optimism can also repress other emotions that need to find an outlet.\n\nWe should never ignore our emotions or our desires, regardless of the dark forms they may take. They, too, need to be integrated. To be out of tune with oneself is to be in a state of disharmony (lack of control). We don't have to act/react on an impulse to <i>embrace</i> (hold onto, enclose, control, integrate) it. By becoming aware of our desires, we gain loving mastery over them.\n\n>\"An unconscious Eros always expresses itself as a will to power.\" - <i>Carl Jung</i>\n\nThis concludes today's article for my [30 Days, 30 Posts challenge](https://steemit.com/writing/@heathersilvey/30-days-30-posts-challenge-a-new-year-s-resolution). Tomorrow's article will be on <b>Growth</b>. Yesterday's article was about [Weight Loss](https://steemit.com/health/@heathersilvey/day-17-of-30-days-30-posts-weight-loss).",
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      "body": "Sounds great. Yeah I think the main things that have been most impactful is reading and commenting on others posts, and also joining communities that have discord where you can get to know people more.\n\nAnd yeah I hear you there! Personally I feel like writing and engaging with others outside of your blog need to happen simultaneously. You just need to find the balance and how that works for you.  \n\nOh and I cannot remember the name of that girl now! If I find her again I will let you know.",
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      "title": "Day 17 of 30 Days, 30 Posts - Weight Loss",
      "body": "<center>![weightlossheather1.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmcFdC9AnDKvqVRtEXxydsPMwceADmCrsUFaYAAw53FvZL/weightlossheather1.jpg)\n<i>Left Two: May 2012, approx. 400 pounds - Right Two: August 2017, approx. 135 pounds</i></center>\n\nI spent most of my life overweight, obese, or morbidly obese. I had a traumatic adolescence and young adulthood. There was a lot of abuse throughout my life: Physical, sexual, psychological, and emotional. But the abuse I subjected myself to was, by far, the worst of it. On top of it, I was born with a lot of genetic mutations—Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (or <b>PCOS</b> for short) being one of them. This contributed greatly to my weight gain as I got older.\n\nEventually my unhealthy lifestyle resulted in an ovarian tumor the size of a bowling ball. But since this article's aim is to briefly touch upon the methods that helped me lose weight, I won't go too much into my backstory. I've already written about some of it [in this article](https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@heathersilvey/introducing-the-shapeshifter-a-patchwork-girl).\n\n<h1>How I Did It</h1>\n\nFor starters, I did my research. It's important to know what does and doesn't work for your body. But a little common sense can go a long way. Too much or too little of anything is unhealthy. If you drink soda, energy drinks, or dump a lot of sugar into your beverages then you can start by eliminating that altogether. Yes, altogether. But if that seems overwhelming to you, then just start small by slowly reducing.\n\nGet rid of all your junk food. Give it away or throw it out, but don't have it in the house. This is important for beginners. It's all too easy to be tempted when we're just getting started. And it's also all too easy to fall off the wagon and not climb back up. If you live with others, ask that they support you by not bringing junk into the house. Or, at the very least, keeping it out of your sight.\n\n<h1>One Day at a Time</h1>\n\nFor me, this was the key. When you weigh as much as I did, you know you've got a long journey ahead of you. But if you think about how much you have to lose, you might think that the task is insurmountable. You risk giving up before you even begin. It's essential that you don't think about the long-term. While you can have an end goal in mind, it's important that you don't dwell on that.\n\nState your end goal once. Write it down. And then forget about it. Set a monthly and weekly goal. Write them down. And then forget about them. Don't place too much importance on those goals. Why? Because if you fall short of your goals, you may feel discouraged. But, if you <i>focus on each day</i>, then you'll likely surpass your goals.\n\nThe only thing that matters is today. Right now. What can you do in this very moment that you know will help you lose weight? Do it, get it over with, but remember that it's a gift (and not a punishment) that YOU CAN!\n\n<h1>Count Your Calories</h1>\n\nKeep track of your calories. There are a lot of applications you can download for your phone that'll make this so easy. It'll also help you keep an eye on the nutritional value of what you're eating. You'll see if you're getting too much or too little of something and will be able to adjust accordingly. This will help you to learn how to control your portions.\n\n<h1>30 Minute Workouts, 5-6 Days a Week</h1>\n\nThe body needs about 20-30 minutes of aerobic activity a day to stay fit. This can all be done in one shot or broken up into intervals. HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) are short, intense bursts that are great for when you're super busy but need to squeeze something in. You can go high-impact or low-impact, depending on how healthy your joints are.\n\nTo lose weight, we need to create a caloric deficit. So, say you're limited to 1,400 calories a day, and you eat your daily allotment but then workout. Say your workout burns 200 calories, putting you at 1,200 calories. You can either <b>1)</b> Eat that extra 200 calories, and expect to <i>maintain only</i> or <b>2)</b> Don't eat any additional calories and watch the pounds come off.\n\nSwitch up your workout routine. Try something new. If you do the same workout more than 6 days in a row without upping the ante, your body will become too conditioned to it. You can join a gym, buy a bike, get a program, go out for a walk or jog, download a fitness application, and even find free workouts online. There are so many different things you can do. Not having money is not an excuse. Don't limit yourself to just weight training or doing cardio only. Be sure to do a little of both.\n\nAs you gain muscle mass, you may notice a slight weight gain at first. Or your weight loss may plateau. Should this happen, don't panic. If you're on track with everything else, then you can be assured that this is a good thing.\n\n<h1>One Cheat/Rest Day a Week</h1>\n\nIf you don't allow yourself a day off from working out, you'll burn out. Our muscles need time to recover, especially when we're not accustomed to working so hard. It's important to push ourselves, but never past the breaking point. You <i>can</i> overdo it. Listen to your body to prevent injury. Take at least one day off a week to give yourself the spa treatment! You've earned it!\n\nAdditionally, we <i>need</i> a cheat day. Need, not want. We need to remind ourselves that we're not actually being deprived of anything. That we can enjoy our favorite guilty pleasure, just in moderation. Allow one cheat day or cheat meal a week to eat whatever you want. Feel free to eat food from the \"no-no\" list, unless you're on some special nutritional program. If you're doing a program or challenge that doesn't include a cheat day, resume a weekly cheat day when the challenge is over.\n\n<h1>Cheat Day Revised</h1>\n\nMy bowel perforated in March of 2015, and I lost two feet of my small intestine as a result. This happened after I had had one of my cheat days. While I can't necessarily conclude that that day's overeating was the sole cause of the obstruction and perforation, I know it was a contribution. After major weight loss, everything shrinks. On a cheat day we might think it safe to binge, but hindsight has me strongly advising against this. Our eyes (appetite) might still be bigger than our stomach.\n\nContinue to portion things out as you would on a regular day, and wait at least 20 minutes or more before going in for seconds. If you're a fast eater like I am (a bad habit I am still, to this day, trying to correct), you won't notice how full you are once you've cleared your plate. If you don't give the food time to settle and you go in for seconds, you'll regret it and feel sick for the rest of the day.\n\nDo go ahead to eat whatever you want. Have that soda, but limit it to one. Eat the junk food. Again, still be mindful of your portions. Don't worry about how many calories you're consuming on this day, but don't feast like it's Thanksgiving either. When we reduce our daily caloric intake to lose weight, this little spike in calories will remind your body that there's no lack. This will ultimately promote further weight loss, just so long as a cheat day doesn't become a cheat week, month, et cetera.\n\nHopefully you found this helpful! This concludes today's article for my [30 Days, 30 Posts challenge](https://steemit.com/writing/@heathersilvey/30-days-30-posts-challenge-a-new-year-s-resolution). Tomorrow's topic of discussion will be about <b>Control</b>. Yesterday's article was about [Emergence](https://steemit.com/occult/@heathersilvey/day-16-of-30-days-30-posts-emergence).",
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      "body": "Thank you. I gave them a follow. I'll check out their content more in-depth when I have a little more time available to do so. Once I'm finished with this 30 day challenge, I'm going to take a short break from creating my own content to focus on engaging more with others and their content. I've seen you recommend it in your article, and have had it recommended to me by other users as well. \n\nI spend a good portion of my day channeling, meditating, and reading. That alone can exhaust, as reading only a small amount of material can trigger a massive chain of association (supraconscious welling up from the unconscious).\n\nIs this girl a user on here? I, too, have had similar emergence<b>s</b> following multiple near death experiences. The emergence is ongoing. From one level to the next, each height must be transcended.",
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      "body": "> When we find ourselves afflicted with a physical or emotional wound, just remember that it's called an emergency.\n\nI never made this connection! It's so true. Interestingly enough, I just read a post about a girl who got into a car accident and this emergency, emerged her soul into full form (or at least that's how I would describe it).\n\nOn another note, I think you'd benefit from joining the STEEM Engine. I've noticed that communities are the best way to get exposure, especially for consistent writers. If you end up stopping by their discord, tell them I invited you here! https://steemit.com/@thesteemengine",
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      "body": "<center>![pomegranate-open-196800_640.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmRhWNYn2Wj4yA3ngFHs6o9TDJ3wgZHF3N1sXyqf1mttCh/pomegranate-open-196800_640.jpg)\n<i>\"Blessed be the fruit. May the Lord open.\" - Margaret Atwood</i></center>\nTo emerge is to bring forth into the light, to rise up, or to come out of obscurity. Transformation occurs in darkness, when no one is looking. This is the darkness of the unknown, the unconscious, the unborn, of winter, and the darkness of doom. All transformation registers internally, first, before ever becoming visible. When the unseen, the unwritten, and the unexpected is ready to be brought forth from the nocturnal womb of the moon (for <i>\"gloom is its cocoon\"</i>): We have an emergence.\n\nIt's been said that the <i>\"wound is the place where the light enters us\"</i>, and this brings to mind the cracks in an egg or a seed. For a human egg to be fertilized, it must first be successfully penetrated (or broken into) by the sperm. These cracks, these wounds, are what ignite transformation and the eventual emergence. Within the venom is the elixir. When we find ourselves afflicted with a physical or emotional wound, just remember that it's called an <b>emergency</b>. Why? Because it's a chance to change our lives and our attitudes for the better, by becoming stronger. Wiser. <b>Kintsugi</b>. Breakdown to breakthrough.\n\n<h1>Spring Fever and March Madness</h1>\n\n<b>Fire and Rescue</b>: We incinerate what we no longer need, what no longer serves us. This is why we <i>fire</i> employees who no longer fulfill their duties. And these eliminations can save us a lot of trouble down the road. When we feel motivated to take action, action that'll transform our situation, we say that we're <i>fired up</i>. Hot-headed Aries (the Ram, Cardinal Fire) initiates a new growth cycle every spring, after having emerged out of the darkness of winter. The maddening frenzy of spring fever is felt by all as mating season begins.\n\n<h1>April Fools Rush In</h1>\n\nHeat is motion, and the faster a thing moves and vibrates, the hotter it is. To rush into something is to hastily speed or charge (electric, power) into it. In college, during Rush Week, fraternities and sororities are scouting for <i>potential</i> recruits: Pledges to <i>initiate</i>. This typically takes place towards the <i>beginning</i> of the school year. \n\n<center><i>The Green Man</i>\n![foolishly.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmeAMSturhm9NrJ8guUvb87STCdfRRgV53F6JKRq6xyqQH/foolishly.jpg)</center>\n\n<b>From Zero to Hero</b>: In tarot, The Fool is the first card. But it's actually <b>0</b>. It's the egg of all-potential, which precedes manifestation. Limitlessness must collapse or fall into limitation. We see this inevitable descent as The Fool is about to blindly march over a cliff. On the Qabalistic Tree of Life, The Fool connects Kether (the primal point) and Chokmah (the seat of the fiery life force which empowers). Kether (Crown) is the head, or the beginning, which initiates all activity through Chokmah.\n\nThis willing force is transmitted to Binah (Understanding) which organizes it and puts it to use through limitation. Limitlessness is useless without some defining purpose, and to define is to limit. Binah and Chokmah are connected via The Empress, who represents the imagination. She is the archetypal embodiment of spring, fertility, and rebirth. As The Fool rushes into manifestation, the incoming flow of energy falls into (slowing down) form where it flowers—emerging as the shape of the image maker's blueprint.\n\nThis concludes today's article for my [30 Days, 30 Posts challenge](https://steemit.com/writing/@heathersilvey/30-days-30-posts-challenge-a-new-year-s-resolution). Tomorrow's topic of discussion will be on <b>Weight Loss</b>. Yesterday's article was about [Winter](https://steemit.com/philosophy/@heathersilvey/day-15-of-30-days-30-posts-winter).",
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      "body": "Oddly and *not surprisingly* enough, you most definitely spontaneously popped into my mind just a few minutes ago. The thought was so epicly random... something like:\n\n> I wonder if @heathersilvey saw my last comment.\n\nI'm not even sure why I was thinking that. It's an odd thought to be honest. But I did, and then the moment I got on here I saw that you surely did see my last comment lol :)",
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      "body": "And I thank <i>you</i> for that recognition! We were definitely still in Capricorn season when you posted this!",
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      "body": "Thank you for your thoughtful response. I tried to be somewhat objective, as I've had a lot of unpleasant experiences in the past with dating and men in general. Having grown out of a traumatic childhood, my self-esteem, self-image, and sense of self-worth as a young adult was very negative. This didn't translate well in romantic or intimate situations. But I've also learned from those experiences and made many personal adjustments.\n\nThese adjustments have included: Reviewing my own values, reflecting on my emotional reactions, considering alternative perspectives, and changing my behavior. \n\nMaking a woman smile doesn't <i>make</i> a great man, but it's certainly the byproduct of one. <b>:)</b>",
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      "body": "<center>![macro-3095631_640.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVQzwHnpiFHLbU5mwjtANhhSgYKzuUU18GLjVXVvWFptL/macro-3095631_640.jpg)</center>\nIn winter, life contracts. Fall's vibrant decline into darkness dwindles the scene to lifeless brown and gray. The earth hardens as the heat retreats. Animals go into hibernation while others struggle to survive the harsh terrain. Soon, the white of purity coats the land. This fatal freeze purifies the land of the old, clearing it for the spring cleaning ahead. \n\nDarkness, frigid rigidity, and death all have \"evil\" connotations. Evil inverted is live (or life). Death, itself, is like winter. As rigor mortis sets in, warmth has withdrawn and the carcass hardens like a cocoon. Our fear of death has made a villain, a Devil (liveD), out of what's actually the liberating transformation of energy. Since energy can neither be created nor destroyed, all is recycled into another form. Birth of a form appears to us as if it's a new creation, with death being its destruction. Yet, what really <i>is</i> is what always <i>was</i>, having been repurposed and reconfigured.\n\nLife, too, is like winter in that what we believe to be a lifeform, or solid matter, is but ice. Matter is the crystallization of spirit, of consciousness. Consciousness makes waves of disturbance in the sea of the unconscious. Thoughts in<b>form</b>, gathering and attracting elements. These elements adhere to the shape of these impressing disturbances.\n\nJust as darkness is really the absence of light, cold is really just the absence of heat. Light <i>is</i> heat, which is motion or vibration. <b>In this example:</b> Light might then represent what's become conscious and the dark is what remains unconscious. The seeming absence of, or lack of, could be compared to sleep, ignorance, latency, or hibernation. <b>From another angle,</b> matter (or consciousness) constricts limitless light (or what others might call \"dark energy\"). This constriction allows for the form (or thought forms) to appear on the physical plane. By reducing the rate of vibration, light congeals and takes on varying shapes.\n\nLife can't exist without this motion, and life must be <i>imperfect</i> in order to exist, grow, and evolve. The limitlessness of absolute perfection could be compared to death, to resting in peace. All would vibrate so fast that it would stand completely still and <i>freeze</i>. Perfection has no need to grow, evolve, expand, or continue on.\n\nIn life, when we have reached the ice<b>cap</b> of one great summit, we must descend in order to rise again. There is the calm and then there is the storm, and the wheel (or the torus) keeps on spinning. While it may appear that we rest, we're never still. We know this to be true even without needing fancy scientific equipment to back it up. Even in sleep, our minds are active. Dreams are obvious evidence of this. Thinking requires energy, requires light, requires motion. It's why we can say such things as, \"my mind was racing\", or \"I lost my train of thought\".\n\nEverything lost is eventually found. Everything frozen eventually thaws. And everything changes, but it's always the same—the New Retro Wave.\n\nThis concludes today's article for my [30 days, 30 posts challenge](http://steemit.com/writing/@heathersilvey/30-days-30-posts-challenge-a-new-year-s-resolution). Tomorrow's article will be on <b>Article</b>. Yesterday's topic of discussion was [Dating](https://steemit.com/dating/@heathersilvey/day-14-of-30-days-30-posts-dating).\n \nToday's article marks the halfway point in this writing challenge. I've admittedly been slacking a little this past week. Otherwise, I'd been allowing myself a day off a week from posting. I reserve this day off for busy days and for recharging creative inspiration. While I will finish the challenge, since this is a commitment, I've decided that daily posts just aren't for me. I could be writing longer posts that are more spaced out, but of higher quality. Short, daily posts don't go into the topics deep enough for my liking—not unless I were to continue on  that subject from where I left off. That may be a method I test out in the future.",
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      "body": "It's clear that you wrote from your own perception - which makes this a very personal and original article (there's just one of us out there *ipso facto*  our perception is unique).\n\nI like that you considered how it may feel to  be a man too \"to be great, we need to make women smile\".  Your article has given me the idea I should step up to that buffet platter and gather up the smiles, pronto ;-)",
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      "author": "heathersilvey",
      "permlink": "day-14-of-30-days-30-posts-dating",
      "title": "Day 14 of 30 Days, 30 Posts - Dating",
      "body": "<center>![people-2589047_640.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmfXYiwhExvVRsU4jYFe5ZfCMo3Ed3Se5VWYY3G1FSJcqm/people-2589047_640.jpg)</center>\nDating. I let out a huge sigh after typing that single word. Nowadays, with dating applications the likes of Tinder, dating <i>can</i> feel very dog-eat-dog. Most women have a tendency to approach it as some sort of competition, more worried about how attractive they are in comparison to the other women out there. This angle only serves to promote insecurity and the <i>idea</i> of scarcity. The average man, on the other hand, enters the realm of dating as if it were an all-you-can-eat buffet. This testing of the waters <i>is how it should be</i> for both sexes. However, <i>it seems</i> that most men'll try a little taste of this and that without ever committing to or remaining faithful to a main course.\n\n<h1>What Women Need to Understand</h1>\nScarcity is an illusion. Approached from the survival of the fittest mindset, there'll <b>always</b> be a more attractive woman. And this is why it's pointless to try to compete or to even worry about other women. True beauty radiates from within, and it won't matter what's on the exterior if we, ourselves, don't claim our own inner light. Self-love must be prioritized <i>first</i>. We must <b>be</b> the love we want, because <b>the inner gives rise to the outer</b>.\n\nWe're all equally worthy of both the inner and the outer love we need (self-love) and desire (love of/with another). While there may be plenty of fish in the sea, there's also only one you. Each of us has our own unique flavor that can never be replicated. So, ladies, it's okay to join the men in the buffet and try several outfits on for size. That's how we learn what's right for us in a relationship, and also what just doesn't work.\n\nIn the end, quality always triumphs over quantity. If you don't try several dishes, you'll never find your favorite one. But you definitely don't want to eat at the buffet everyday either. Notice how you rarely feel satisfied after leaving a buffet, just stuffed <b>full of fillers</b>? Going to some place to order a favorite entree can truly <b>fulfill</b> because it's exactly what we wanted. It's <i>hitting the spot</i>, whereas at a buffet, it's hit-and-miss. Rather than actually focusing on what's currently on our fork, we're wondering if we should save room for something better that we might have overlooked.\n\n<h1>The Truth About Men</h1>\nMen want to fall in love, and be loved in return, just as much as women do. The difference lies in the approach, in the <i>how</i> this happens. And it's counter-intuitive to how women think it should be, due to polarity. Not all men are pigs or want to be bachelors forever. And not all men are unfaithful.\n\nA man clings to his freedom for as long as he can because he's naturally inclined spread his seed. When a man commits to a woman, he usually does so with it in the back of his mind that this might be the last woman he's ever going to have sex with. And that can threaten his masculinity. But a man also deeply desires to find a woman that inspires him to be the best version of himself. Not by her prompting either, but by simply being who <b>she</b> truly is. And by wanting to be the kind of man that can make her smile.\n\nThis concludes today's article for my [30 Days, 30 Posts challenge](https://steemit.com/writing/@heathersilvey/30-days-30-posts-challenge-a-new-year-s-resolution). Tomorrow's topic of discussion is <b>Winter</b>. The previous article was on [Touch](https://steemit.com/philosophy/@heathersilvey/day-13-of-30-days-30-posts-touch).",
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