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      "body": "![ich.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmfQZs64CFBwc27VV7HC8unAUt1t8tXD5VtuEJQoiYthut/ich.jpg)\n\nToday is my 3rd birthday. It was 3 years ago when I was reborn. Exactly at the 15th of April 2015. I can feel it as if it would happen right now. I can feel the the nervousness, the strain, the fear, but also the excitement, the thankfulness and the feeling of doing the right thing. Many years I had worked towards that goal, to be able to make that change. Honestly, it was a struggle. Something that I do not wish anyone to experience. Some years ago I did not feel complete, I felt that something was missing. And to regain that part of me I felt I had to go through with it. So I spend hours of talking to different doctors and therapists and was running from instance to instance to get all the necessary paperwork which proved that I was a women, as strange as that sounds. Then after that long hurdle race of explaining myself, judgment, pain, stress, fear, frustration and uncertainty the day which I had waited for so long was finally there.\n\nI had arrived at the hospital the evening before, was sitting in the waiting area and waited that I was called to move into my room. A child played. It was there with its father. I watched it whilst my heart was beating in my throat, so exited and nervous I was. There was still the chance to simply leave and cancel the whole thing. Was it really the right thing to do? At that moment I did not know. The only thing I could do was to go with the flow. The flow of life. The flow of the long chain of events and experiences which had led me in the end to exactly that place: The waiting area of the hospital in Göteborg, where I waited to move into my room to get ready for the big day.\n\nThe big day was the 15th of April 2015. Surgery was scheduled at 2 pm. When I got rolled down to the operating room in my bed, I said a last time goodbye and thank you to a part of me which had served me well for a long time, but I had decided to let go off. The time had come were I was letting go of the old to be able to make space for the new. The time had come to move from a male body into a female.\n\nWhen I woke up it literally felt like being born again. Just this time with full memory of the life before. What a big step! It felt like in a dream. Did that all really happen? Was that for real? Or just a dream? It took some time for me to realize, yes it did really happen, my body had changed, I was going to live a new life.\n\nI think it took me until now, 3 years later to totally grasp and understand what I have been through. It is a journey I do not wish anyone to experience, even though I have learned so much and gained so much valuable insights. And I think these should be shared. With you and with humanity. Because there are so many which struggle with the issues and roles of gender. So let's wait there for a second. What is gender actually? Who defines that what we are, what we shall be? The body? Society? A doctor? A therapist?\n\nI now believe that gender is just a certain perspective through which we experience life. It is a certain role which we play, a female one or a male one. And that is fine, as long as it is not ruling you. It is just an experience which you have chosen to make. Life is an experience of the physical dimension. And it is always up to you how you want to experience life. You choose. Every day. And you can define yourself via a role, via certain expectations and behaviors which come with that role or you can leave all that aside and ask yourself: How do I feel today? Which experience would I like to make today, this week, in this life? Do I follow any outside guidelines, programmings, expectations - or am I, dress and behave as I like, being totally authentic to myself?\n\nBecause the truth is: Gender is just connected to the hormones. They make your body look like more feminine or masculine. That is the only difference. In the inside we are all the same. We all have a feminine side and a masculine side.\n\nThe feminine side is feeling, sensitive, sensual, intuitive, creative, inspirational, social, connecting, collaborating, listening, understanding, loving, healing, giving, gentle, compassionate, empathic, fragile, precious, pure, humble and serving. It is a beautiful diamond, a princess, a queen, a fairy, a dewdrop, a lily and a rose.\n\nThe male energy is grounding, guarding, caring, protecting, hugging, creating something in the physical, building, self-confident, expressing its needs, moving forward, leading, speaking, communicating, strength, power, wealth, thoughtful, rational and analytic. It is the warrior, the fighter, the guard which is protecting the feminine so that it can feel save to open up and express its sensitive qualities. It is the strong hand which is holding the rose.\n\nAnd we have both of these energies within us. The feminine energy is on the left side and the masculine energy is on the right side. Be proud and accept both of them. Do not hide any aspect of them, be authentic and feel free to express whatever you feel like. Because this is your life and you are meant to be free, to be and live exactly as you want.\nThis does not mean that you have to try to be and express the whole spectrum of femininity and masculinity. We all have accentuations at certain characteristics. Each one of us is an unique composition of different tones. What I just want to say is, do not silence any tone, allow yourself to play your whole melody and bring it into the world. You are needed exactly as you are.\n\nReally, there are no rules. Only one: follow your heart <3\n\nI love you!\nJulia",
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      "body": "![ich.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmfQZs64CFBwc27VV7HC8unAUt1t8tXD5VtuEJQoiYthut/ich.jpg)\n\nToday is my 3rd birthday. It was 3 years ago when I was reborn. Exactly at the 15th of April 2015. I can feel it as if it would happen right now. I can feel the the nervousness, the strain, the fear, but also the excitement, the thankfulness and the feeling of doing the right thing. Many years I had worked towards that goal, to be able to make that change. Honestly, it was a struggle. Something that I do not wish anyone to experience. Some years ago I did not feel complete, I felt that something was missing. And to regain that part of me I felt I had to go through with it. So I spend hours of talking to different doctors and therapists and was running from instance to instance to get all the necessary paperwork which proved that I was a women, as strange as that sounds. 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