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      "body": "It sure may sound cheesy if I start talking about the two sides of every coin, light and shadow. Good times and bad times. Of course evryone know that both exist. But the good times are, unlike the sides of a coin, way bigger and also way more powerful. Everyone will agree that hanging out with wonderful people you love fills a day with joy. And I have that every. Single. Day. It's truly a blessing. \n\n![Woods](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CkBG1vDWEAAs4du.jpg)\n\nHowever, no one would believe me if I neglect the challenges. Oh, they are there. There are plenty. Luckily - and I make sure to remember that - they never take too long. They persist for a few days or weeks at maximum and then quietly dissolve into something better, an advance. \n\nOne of this challenge of course is the transistion from diapers to toilets. Coupled with the fact that my daughter suddenly caught a pretty awful case of diarrhea... Yeah, those are the moments I just put every kid where it can't hurt himself, break things or (in daughter's case) fling liquid poop around textiles, and then mentally curl up beneath a blanket, physically grab a cup of coffee and just stare blankly at a wall for five minutes. \n\nBut it passes. And afterwards, you actually are glad it's over (no wonder) and also glad it happened, because it really was a valuable learning experience about what exactly happens if you don't bother to visit a toilet. How else can one learn this?\n\nIt is not easy. Of course it is not easy. But is life supposed to be easy? We start off in grade school. And just when it begins getting easy, when you get the hang of reading and writing and calculating, you go to a higher school. Because it would *make no sense to stay at a stage that you already mastered*. \n\nSo, naturally - just as the awkward teenage age passed, where one has to learn the do's and dont's of social experiences - I decided that it was time to move onwards, and that was the reason I decided to just dive head first into marriage with the man I love (and who luckily thinks the same) and also start being a mother and giving on the gift that is life. Of course I could have had \"chill\" 20's. But whatfor? Basically, since I've always been pushed to be an overachiever, it would mean work. Mostly mindless work, stupid connections, and more money. I don't want money to be such an important part of my life - and I want my children to know this too.\n\nBut most importantly, I want my children to witness and learn what it means to build up and maintain an adult life. Not gonna lie - when I had my son, my place was a mess. And it still is. I am a really messy, chaotic person. But rather than waiting 20 years and just placing them into a \"made nest\", as we say in German, I want them to first-hand learn what it means to get one's life into order. Hopefully, they'll then be more skilled and have more experience than me at age 20. \n\nWhen I was young, I always played my video games on easy mode, because I was afraid of failure. I was spoiled, everything (mundane) was handed to me, I was used to win. It was not until much later that it dawned to me that I basically spent all that time in boredom and stagnation. How terrible! Later I figured out I would take the time I was given, and make something good out of it. I would use it to be the best version of myself that I possibly can. \n\nA Catholic would call this - being a Saint. This has a much more nuanced meaning than the colloquial use, since everyone's best version is meant to do vastly different things. And I, for one, I know that my version of doing the best is to take on everything I can possibly carry. Since I now have the time to leisurely sit around, it means that I'm obviously not at my limits, and that's why I also will not object to gifting more siblings to my kids. Between them, there's even purer love than between me and them, it's the most peaceful thing to see. (How I wish I had siblings myself.)\n\nAlso, it's true - the challenges that come with additional children do not rise in a linear fashion. From zero to one kid, it's a massive difference (though maybe not so much as you'd imagine). From one to two, it's more difficult of course, but nowhere such an innovation as with the first. With three, you're already used to multitasking. (I've once heard someone say: As soon as the parents are outnumbered, it doesn't matter anymore by how many exactly.)\n\nAnd it is so rewarding. I think old people, who have already seen a lot in life and know what matters and what doesn't, know that too. So often they stop to talk to me on the streets. \"Such lovely children! Are they all yours?\" They ask with beaming eyes, because they already know the answer, they just don't dare assume it because of the rarity. It doesn't matter to them whether my two oldest ones are currently screaming and intentinally colliding while running at full speed (after all, it's outside). They love to see them, and so do I, every second of my day. \n\nBut now, excuse me while I have to sniff out exactly where the moldy smell of forgotten wet clothes comes from, remove the source, and then make myself a coffee.",
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      "body": "Do it! We have some bow that was made especially for that sport, so looking like you would imagine a bow, not that high technologized gadgets.  I'll look for books about the mindfulness of longbow shooting soon, there is a whole school of thought around that, I think it will be interesting.",
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      "author": "robsteady",
      "body": "Awesome. Archery is something I've always wanted to spend time with, but never had the space to do it. I love getting praise from my kids for what can seem so mundane to us. It definitely works as a great motivator.",
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      "author": "fussballfreund",
      "body": "So... the husband recently has purchased a bow. He briefly was trying out an interesting sport, brought here by our hungarian friends, named Kassai - where you are riding on a horse while wielding a bow. Pretty much exactly what huns dud back in the day. Apparently, it is fucking awesome. I believe it. I always wanted to do something with horses, especially when it relates to intuition so directly. (Once saw a manager's training with horses where leadership was trained. Man would I have liked to do that.) But yeah. With three kids, anything that involves driving somewhere alone for a few hours is pretty much a big deal. \n\nBut we have this kasai bow at home now. The husband has been putting out a roll made from thick cardbord outside, and firing arrows at it. He's pretty good at it, he always learns new things so fast. Doing all kinds of fancy things. But now he's away on a trip, and I figured it would be a good time to practise shooting a bit. \n\nSo, after I put the kids to bed (what basically means putting them in their room and ordering them to stay there - I don't even care a bit how long they're going to do all sorts of things, giggling and laughing, as long as they just stay in there), and found the littlest one sleeping soundly, I loaded up the bow and went  outside to shoot a few arrows.\n\n![Arrows](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CmyKDLWWEAA3QnB.jpg)\n\nI didn't even want to do the fancy tricks like shooting while jumping or walking or such. I just wanted to hit the damn roll. Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, go back and collect the arrows. Strangely tranquil. I quickly found out that, indeed, hitting or missing mainly depended on how secure, relaxed, confident and focussed I was.\n\nAn awesome sport. Exactly what I was looking for. Still, training obviously is key.\n\nI shot until the skin peeled from my finger. It's taped now. Works fine. Also, one time, I apparently was holding the bow weirdly and it snapped against my arm upon release. That hurt. The bruise is bright violet now.\n\nBut I finally have a sport that is really a load of fun and I can just celebrate in the back yard. As a former avid gamer, of course I always have secretly dreamed of being an expert archer, and now I can just practise it - and practise mindfulness while I'm at it. \n\nAnd the nicest thing of all - when I went outside, soon I noticed my little ones appearing at their window. They had a perfect view from up there at their mom shooting arrows. They were cheering at every shot. I have my own little fanclub. This was warming my heart so much, and I just kept on shooting and shooting, waving at them between rounds, what made them cheer enthusiastically. And, on the go, teaching them about persistence and the value of practise. For one full hour they watched me shooting arrows, and going back to collect them, again and again, and apparently did not get bored of it.",
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      "body": "I agree 100% with you. I can't comprehend how, as a society, think it's a good idea to give away our kids to stranger for 8hours a day when they are not even 2 years old. To me...it's cultural suicide.\n\nI was lucky to have a stay at home mom, she baked cookies, read me books and went on long walk and discuss of everything and anything.\n\nBravo for your choice, even if it wasn't easy.",
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      "author": "fussballfreund",
      "body": "Thank you very much! :) Unfortunately, here in Austria, unschooling isn't really an option since you will be forced to have your kids tested according to the official plan of education every year. If they even once fail - it's off to school they go. However, since the quality of public education is so questionable, they reduce the standard continuously - after the current plan, my 3.5yo could pass grade 2 already. \n\nWe generall try to have an \"old-fashioned\", simple life. Just because things were pretty much head-over-heels \"improved\" and uprooted for the last few decades, it doesn't mean that they are better in every way. \n\nThese are some wonderful looking websites you linked, thank you, will read them asap :)",
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      "author": "alexc",
      "body": "Great insights and it's good you're here. Homeschooling is definitely the way to go and children benefit much more when their parents give them their time and energy - rather than work.  It's much more genuine, healthy and nutritious. \n\nHere's a couple of websites that might help you with homeschooling/unschooling\nhttp://www.lisanalbone.com/\nhttp://livingjoyfully.ca/\n\nOf course it's frustrating to not have much disposable income - but you learn to live on less and appreciate the little things in life. Having time is the biggest luxury in the world if you use it well.",
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      "author": "riverhead",
      "body": "Congratulations on leaving the rat race. Most people are so busy being busy they don't realize they are stuck.",
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