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      "body": "<html>\n<p><br></p>\n<h3>I found myself, once again, homeless last spring, Not entirely sure of where I’d be landing.</h3>\n<p>I took a ferry to Vancouver, where I reunited with my partner and my dog.<br>\nAfter a short detour to Squamish, we decided to make our way to Salt Spring Island.</p>\n<p>I needed some time to think about where I wanted to go next; this seemed like a good place.<br>\nNow I'd just have to wait for my gypsy head to produce some kind of magical and adventurous plan.</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>I’d spent a summer on Salt Spring two years earlier, for an organic farming apprenticeship.&nbsp;<br>\nI was instantly won over by it’s magic, mystery and whimsy.</p>\n<p>I've heard people talk about how the entire island is situated on a bed of quartz.&nbsp;<br>\n\"It's the quartz!\", Is a common expression used to explain away ones eccentric behaviour or unusual events.</p>\n<p>I've been told that it's intercepted by some kind of healing meridian that only appears in certain parts of the world, the kind of energy centers they build monasteries on.</p>\n<p><em>To me it has always seemed a place to heal, but not stay.</em></p>\n<p>It wasn’t quite how I remembered it, as I myself had changed, but it still held it’s healing quality.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><em>This works.</em></p>\n<p>&nbsp;<br>\nI put out a few feelers for places to stay, short term, of course.</p>\n<p>Through a mutual connection, we were offered the opportunity to meet with a perspective farm, where we could set up our tent.<br>\nIt would also involve being a part of a farm-based \"community\".</p>\n<p>I’d lived in shared houses and staff accommodation, but never somewhere with a self-appointed title of “community”<br>\nThis kind of thing is not at all uncommon on Salt Spring.</p>\n<p><em>“Do you want to be a part of the community?”&nbsp;</em></p>\n<p>We decided to give it a chance.<br>\nWe were unsure of what to expect, and wary of potential “culty vibes”.<br>\nWe were met, helped open up some garden beds, had a tour and we were fed.<br>\nIt all seemed decently un-cultish and the food was good. They liked my dog.<br>\nWe decided to try it out. We had nothing to lose and an opportunity to camp for a week or so.<br>\nAfter a month had passed, they asked us to stay on for the growing season.&nbsp;<br>\nThings were going well, so we agreed.</p>\n<p>As much as I knew that Salt Spring was only transitionary for me, it made sense to stay for a while.</p>\n<p><em>a while for me, being more than a couple of months.</em>.</p>\n<p>It couldn't hurt to hoard some savings anyways before deciding how to spend the winter months.</p>\n<p>Aaron, my partner, worked full-time on the farm.&nbsp;<br>\nI worked part-time on the farm and full-time as a Server.<br>\nI was offered the task of “Event Garden Designer”, And I accepted.<br>\nI spent most of my time on the farm planning, weeding, cultivating, and landscaping our future, fully edible and medicinal, permaculture display garden.<br>\nI also spent a lot of time cooking for the group, as I hate doing dishes (we had one of those the cook doesn't do the dishes deals)</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>I really enjoyed my time working with the earth again.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>My old farming and gardening knowledge came in real handy.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Also, my job at the restaurant was pretty great.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>https://i.postimg.cc/DZGtCzH6/IMG_2064.jpg<br>\n<em>Lots of time was spent with all thirty of these fluff balls</em><br>\n</p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;Working with the earth provided me with grounding, physical work, meditation and a creative outlet. Serving provided me with a fast-paced and social environment and the challenge of developing a skill I’ve only just picked up in the last couple of years</p>\n<p><br>\nI won’t lie, it was hard for me, most of the time, resisting the urge to move on.</p>\n<p>Sticking around wasn’t only to benefit my bank account, it was also a challenge that I knew I could grow from personally.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Pushing through the uncomfortable feelings I so often experience. denying my urge to run, while I could still get out; no strings.<br>\nAttatchments still unformed, expectations still unpenetrating and relationships still superficial and light-hearted.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><strong>Being a part of the community was equal parts challenging and rewarding.</strong></p>\n<p>Every “community” is different. I’ve lived in “unintentional” community, which comes much more naturally to me, especially as far as expectations go.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>I’m hyper sensitive to what I sense others expect of me; I project their needs and expectations onto myself. I neglect self-care out of fear of disappointing those around me.<br>\n<em>So I run, before I can drop the ball, before they see that I'm imperfect.</em></p>\n<p>Something as small as “Thanks for dinner! Could you make dinner tomorrow night, as well?” Is enough pressure to make sure that I not only don't cook dinner for a week, but that I don't come around for at least a day or two.</p>\n<p>Living in “intentional” community for the first time was, sometimes, uncomfortable. It taught me a little bit more about what, and how much to give.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>It helped me to learn a little bit better, how to gracefully set limitations before having a total physical or mental break-down.</p>\n<p><em>I had both physical and mental breakdowns this summer.</em></p>\n<p>When I feel that people expect certain things from me, I tend to just leave. Removing myself altogether is easier than living with the fear of dissapointing another.</p>\n<p>This is why it was important for me to stay.</p>\n<p>There were entire weeks that I felt like I was trapped under a blanket, suffocating, needing change, movement, freedom.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>I fought through this feeling and stayed where I was.</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>Despite all of this, there were also moments when community felt right<em>.<br>\n</em>This is how I was able to stay.<em><br>\n</em>It could feel like family and together-ness, a feeling that I haven’t had much of in my life.</p>\n<p>Every full moon, we celebrated.<br>\nWe would go for a hike and speak our gratitude and intentions, or bake pizza in a portable wood stove and drink local beer on top of mount Maxwell.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>We had days that we all worked together. We could laugh and run around barefoot in the garden, pulling weeds, light-hearted - our faces, feet and hands covered in dirt.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>&nbsp;We had WOOFers stay with us for weeks at a time, and I made some really special friendships.</p>\n<p>We lived in a cluster of forest we called “tree-island”. We were without wifi. We shared an outdoor kitchen. Our only hot water source was the bath house, complete with an outdoor shower.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>I woke up one morning to newly hatched baby birds, in a nest I’d had my eye on, squawking right bedside my tent. I watched them grow up.</p>\n<p>I was able to wander into the forest, with a knife and a backpack, and come back with fresh wild mushrooms for our dinner.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>When I wanted a salad, all I had to do was walk to the garden and take it.</p>\n<p>https://i.postimg.cc/mktmrZWM/IMG_2036.jpg</p>\n<p>https://i.postimg.cc/wTDjtqBh/IMG_1752.jpg</p>\n<p>https://i.postimg.cc/59htNYf4/IMG_1747.jpg</p>\n<p><strong>When it finally came time to move on, I felt both relief and a sense of freedom.</strong></p>\n<p>This feeling made the goodbyes sweeter, and leaving the beautiful land a little easier.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>What had started as a potential place to crash for a week or so, became a place for future visits, a piece of family and of home.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>https://i.postimg.cc/JhHrfMrz/IMG_2824.jpg</p>\n<p>https://i.postimg.cc/mktmrZWM/IMG_2036.jpg</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><em><strong>My final words to Salt Spring are those of gratitude.</strong></em></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<h3><em>Thank you.</em></h3>\n<p><em>Thank you for being exactly what I needed, when I didn’t even know what that was.</em></p>\n<p><em>Thank you for all of the beautiful people that you hold and attract.</em></p>\n<p><em>Thank you for challenging and growing me.</em></p>\n<p><em>Thank you for being my teacher and healer.</em></p>\n<p><em>Thank you for being my rock, my resting place,</em></p>\n<p><em>my refuge in the storm, both outside and within.</em></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><em>https://i.postimg.cc/zD6sR625/IMG_2104.jpg</em></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><br></p>\n</html>",
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