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      "permlink": "steemitboard-notify-creativeusername-20190516t011150000z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "Congratulations @creativeusername! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@creativeusername/birthday2.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@creativeusername) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](http://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=creativeusername)_</sub>\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/japanese/@steemitboard/new-japanese-speaking-community-steem-meetup-badge\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRWbAjbeETEaqSPLcpwYX1JN5pZhdPffv4q6DaBs6xvZm/image.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/japanese/@steemitboard/new-japanese-speaking-community-steem-meetup-badge\">New  japanese speaking community Steem Meetup badge</a></td></tr></table>\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "body": "Hello, and thank you for responding\nI am still looking for the right help.  I've tried therapy and the therapist wasn't a good fit.  Other docs are trying to give me meds that don't help... because I've tried them before.  I tried cbd oil and went through a bottle of 1mg in 2 days because the dose was too low and didn't help so now I'm meditating every day and that does help a bit.  I'm open to finding something that works better along with meditation.",
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      "body": "Hi creativeusername - I just feel upon your post. Did you ever find the treatment you were looking for? I'm new on Steemit and was just about to post up a FREE Natural Treatment PTSD case study I have just started and you were the first post to come up when I searched PTSD. If you were still looking for help/solutions, let me know.",
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      "body": "wow, last week it got into the high 30's at night, which is unusual this time of year... it's back in the 80's now :)  stay warm sunshine",
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      "title": "Today might be the last day I spoke to my mom",
      "body": "@@ -1318,16 +1318,57 @@\n ed ones \n+that have passed and ones that are alive \n are ther\n",
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      "title": "Today might be the last day I spoke to my mom",
      "body": "<html>\n<p>https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/04/26/10/37/italy-1354051_1280.jpg &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Less than 2 weeks ago they told her she needed a lung transplant and her lungs will not heal after this last bout with pneumonia. &nbsp;We thought she had a few months to live. &nbsp;Instead her skin is all black and blue, she can't walk or eat now she's got fluid in her lungs and hospice is on 24 hour care, as of today. &nbsp;I spoke with her a couple of days ago for about a minute. &nbsp;She sounded horrible and she could barely get a word out without struggling for breathe. &nbsp;&nbsp;then I called the next day and she sounded better. &nbsp;She still struggled a lot and she sounded horrible but she sounded a little better. &nbsp;That made me happy for about 5 minutes when I realized that they usually get better before they get worse.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>I finally found a plane ticket I can afford. &nbsp;I'm going there monday. &nbsp;Chances are she won't make it that long. &nbsp;She can't talk and she's black and blue all over, in a lot of pain, she's drowning in clean air. &nbsp;She has fluid on her lungs now and may not make it through the night. &nbsp;I'm in disbelief that this is happening so quickly. &nbsp;Send prayers please for my mother to go quickly and painlessly and all of our loved ones are there with her to get her through the transition and take away the fear. &nbsp;</p>\n</html>",
      "json_metadata": "{\"tags\":[\"life\",\"health\",\"steemit\",\"death\",\"writing\"],\"image\":[\"https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/04/26/10/37/italy-1354051_1280.jpg\"],\"app\":\"steemit/0.1\",\"format\":\"html\"}"
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      "comment_author": "arbitrarykitten",
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      "parent_permlink": "re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171029t224956709z",
      "author": "arbitrarykitten",
      "permlink": "re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171029t235116171z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "Well that is just weird, I even got the reply thru to my end!  \n\nLol you are welcome!",
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      "parent_permlink": "you-matter-ptsd",
      "author": "arbitrarykitten",
      "permlink": "re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171029t235008848z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "I call upon thee o great @originalworks to shine upon this piece and offer your diamond'esque steemshine",
      "json_metadata": "{\"tags\":[\"life\"],\"users\":[\"originalworks\"],\"app\":\"steemit/0.1\"}"
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      "reward_steem": "0.000 STEEM",
      "reward_sbd": "0.030 SBD",
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  "timestamp": "2017-10-29T22:49:54",
  "op": [
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    {
      "parent_author": "arbitrarykitten",
      "parent_permlink": "re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171029t025000958z",
      "author": "creativeusername",
      "permlink": "re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171029t224956709z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "hmmm I can't see anything but yours a my replies.  Thank you for doing that :)",
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  "op": [
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      "parent_permlink": "re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171029t020028070z",
      "author": "arbitrarykitten",
      "permlink": "re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171029t025000958z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "I can see it-it's right below my summons.  Actually click on your post like you're going to read it, then scroll down thru everyone's comments. It's there :)",
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  "timestamp": "2017-10-29T02:00:24",
  "op": [
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      "parent_author": "arbitrarykitten",
      "parent_permlink": "re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171028t062334829z",
      "author": "creativeusername",
      "permlink": "re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171029t020028070z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "I don't see a comment from the bot.  I did see your cute  post about calling upon original works though.  I wasn't sure what that was lol",
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  "timestamp": "2017-10-29T01:34:09",
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      "title": "",
      "body": "too bad you don't live closer.  I'd say drinks are in order lol",
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  "timestamp": "2017-10-28T22:22:30",
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      "author": "arbitrarykitten",
      "permlink": "re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171028t062246820z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "You said you didn't understand what I meant by calling on Original Works bot?",
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      "parent_permlink": "re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171028t061429572z",
      "author": "arbitrarykitten",
      "permlink": "re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171028t062334829z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "I made a cute poem and called the bot.  If you look at your comments, it commented on and upvoted your post a minute after I asked it",
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      "author": "arbitrarykitten",
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      "title": "",
      "body": "You said you didn't understand what I meant by calling on Original Works bot?",
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      "author": "arbitrarykitten",
      "permlink": "re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171028t062205746z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "Yes.  I am truly sorry you are going through that.  I hope you remember I am here for you if you need to talk.  Or be distracted ;)",
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      "parent_permlink": "re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171028t055703384z",
      "author": "creativeusername",
      "permlink": "re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171028t061429572z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "Wow,  I feel pretty stupid right now. lol I'm on less than 20 hrs of sleep in the last week and a half and I can't tell anything is different",
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  "timestamp": "2017-10-28T06:08:21",
  "op": [
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      "parent_author": "arbitrarykitten",
      "parent_permlink": "re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171028t055609590z",
      "author": "creativeusername",
      "permlink": "re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171028t060822039z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "absolutely.  It might be a while though because my mom is dying and I have to spend a lot of the money I've saved to go home and visit for a few days.  I'm hoping I will be able to get another dog soon.  Still looking for a larger place that I can afford though :)",
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{
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  "timestamp": "2017-10-28T05:57:03",
  "op": [
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      "parent_author": "creativeusername",
      "parent_permlink": "re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171028t052536943z",
      "author": "arbitrarykitten",
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      "title": "",
      "body": "Look at your actual post.  Look at what happened after my original works invocation \n\nIn the comments",
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      "author": "arbitrarykitten",
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      "title": "",
      "body": "Oh, I also wanted to ask if you are going to be posting photos of your therapy dog when you get him or her?",
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      "author": "arbitrarykitten",
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      "title": "",
      "body": "Huh.  It's new to me. I use Chrome. You?",
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      "parent_permlink": "re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171028t032053305z",
      "author": "creativeusername",
      "permlink": "re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171028t052536943z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "What exactly am I looking for?",
      "json_metadata": "{\"tags\":[\"life\"],\"app\":\"steemit/0.1\"}"
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      "permlink": "re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-re-arbitrarykitten-re-creativeusername-you-matter-ptsd-20171028t052338393z",
      "title": "",
      "body": "with the exception of the first week I have to refresh as soon as I log in every time.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes not so much lol",
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      "body": "Look at **all** of your comments- scroll down after your post, you'll see ;)\n\nLet me know if you don't find it...",
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      "body": "Yea, I have to refresh to see new things lately.  Lol, the Steemit PTB are working so very hard to correct all these little things!",
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      "body": "thanks arsenal49.  I appreciate you.",
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      "body": "I don't know what that means but it sounds wonderful",
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      "body": "Hey sunshine,  i check this a few times a day and it just now showed me your responses lol  Oh steemit lol   Glad you are doing well.",
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      "body": "PTSD effects your entire life.  Every aspect of it.  That is what so many don't understand.  \n\nYou are doing wonderful work getting the awareness out there.  Kudos to you <3",
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      "body": "Hey!  How are you?\n\nIt's going well :)  I can't complain ;)",
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      "body": "great post.  How's all of the new stuff going?",
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      "parent_permlink": "life",
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      "title": "You Matter!!!  (ptsd)",
      "body": "<html>\n<p>&nbsp;</p>\n<p>https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2015/08/01/16/15/soldier-870399_1280.jpg &nbsp;&nbsp;A lot of times people with PTSD start to feel worthless and that their life doesn't matter. &nbsp;Every survivor has different reasons to feel this way and they're all valid in their own mind. &nbsp;For some, it's because they can't figure out how to function in every day society. &nbsp;Many survivors know they're smart, intelligent or whatever that list includes. &nbsp;The fact is that PTSD changes your brain, not just the way you think but your actual brain function. &nbsp;It can be very difficult to fathom how you got into this box, not living anymore and forgetting how to enjoy life or believing that you even can. &nbsp;On top of that, many PTSD survivors have become \"disabled\" and are on fixed incomes so that doesn't help. &nbsp;Most of us never pictured ourselves with this and this life or lack of that we've built for ourselves. &nbsp;It's not what most of us ever thought or dreamed out life would turn out. &nbsp;In fact in a lot of instances it's the exact opposite. &nbsp;<br>\nI've struggled with this feeling of worthlessness on and off for years. &nbsp;I get out of it by distracting myself with focusing on other things like work or family or friends. &nbsp;Sometimes that makes it worse but eventually it gets better. &nbsp;Being a PTSD survivor myself, I can tell you that I don't have all of the answers. &nbsp;In fact, I am still seeking most of them for myself. &nbsp;What I have been able to do is be there for others and that's what I've always been good at.... helping others. &nbsp;There is a disconnect when it comes to personal issues though. &nbsp;I also have a Traumatic Brain Injury and there is a severe disconnect with that issue and it's been perplexing to even the best experts in this field of expertise. &nbsp;That's why I'm here on Steemit. &nbsp;I want to raise awareness about invisible disabilities by sharing my story. &nbsp;Hopefully it will impact those living with them, as well as, those family or friends who know someone or will know someone living with them. &nbsp;<br>\nYou DO MATTER and I hope you can find an avenue or support system to realize it. &nbsp;There are many different kinds of therapies you can try. &nbsp;EMDR was most successful for me along with &nbsp;a PTSD service animal, which I don't have anymore but am looking forward to getting one soon.... hopefully. &nbsp;Remember that everyone's triggers are different. &nbsp;Remember that forcing yourself and pushing yourself to get out of your home and doing things that you used to enjoy is very important. &nbsp;It won't be successful every time at first. &nbsp;It won't feel good every time or even a lot of the time at first. &nbsp;It might be momentary but remember those baby steps to moving forward are crucial. &nbsp;It takes time along with proper support. &nbsp;After a while you will see that your efforts are being rewarded and your brain is slowly being rewired to acknowledge those positive steps. &nbsp;The \"feels\" you get from those start to grow stronger and begin to normalize. &nbsp;That's a good thing. &nbsp;It's hard... it's a struggle every day. &nbsp;It's ok. &nbsp;Some days you won't be able to. &nbsp;Some days you'll do it and still feel let down. &nbsp;Keep going and accept each day as the blessing it is and eventually you'll start to see it and feel it again. &nbsp;&nbsp;https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2014/07/11/23/06/mathematics-390786_1280.jpg<br>\nWhen I started pushing I had gotten to a low that I'd never been before. &nbsp;I never thought I'd be THAT person. &nbsp;Once I noticed that I'd stopped living and got comfortable in my own misery... my safe place (which honestly wasn't all that safe) I started setting goals. &nbsp;My goal was to get out at least once a week to do something like go to a movie, out to dinner or out for a drink. &nbsp;Honestly, I didn't go out every week. &nbsp;I always made excuses for not doing it and some days my trigger flag was warning too high. &nbsp;I gave myself permission to feel the way I felt and forced myself to at least go out every other week. &nbsp;Eventually every other week was the norm. &nbsp;Then I pushed myself further to once a week. &nbsp;I can do once a week most of the time. &nbsp;I even went as far as getting a part time job. &nbsp;Now I'm out of my tiny apartment 3-5 times a week. &nbsp;Even though I don't really like my job, it gives me a purpose. &nbsp;It gives me a reason to get out and it also allows me a tiny bit of spending money to do something for myself occasionally. &nbsp;So it's a win/win even though it always doesn't feel like it. &nbsp;It took some time ... much longer than I ever thought it would but once I gave myself permission, set goals and stopped talking myself out of it every single time... I started to get a little better. &nbsp;Then I started blogging on steemit and I got a little better.... then it got too intense because I was forcing myself to relive everything daily. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2017/08/25/15/21/light-2680497_1280.jpg<br>\nI believe I'm finally starting to find the balance and what I should focus on in these posts. &nbsp;I don't have to relive and retell my stories every day. &nbsp;I can simply reach out to whoever is interested and let them ... I need to let you know that you matter because, I do too. &nbsp;We need to be there for each other. &nbsp;Not just as PTSD survivors but as human beings. &nbsp;Even people who don't have PTSD. &nbsp;We as a people are stronger together. &nbsp;That's what matters and YOU are a big part of that. &nbsp;Thank you so much for reading and sharing this post. &nbsp;Thank you so much for helping me raise awareness for invisible disabilities and thank you for sharing your stories. &nbsp;</p>\n</html>",
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