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      "body": "TEARS OF SADNESS \n———————————\nMany of you know this world famous song from the musical “Singing In The Rain”. This catchy tune gets stuck in your head as visions of Gene Kelly singing and dancing in the rain run through your mind. Though I have chosen to use this tittle for this blog post I will however be talking about something very different than the musical song piece. For me the term ‘singing in the rain’ has a whole different meaning. To me it means that even in the rain (or hard points of our lives) we need to praise God and thank Him for the life He has given us. Singing His praises in the rainy times of our lives is not the first thing we think of doing, in fact it is often the last. Unless we focus on praising Him it can be one of the hardest things to do. \n\n![5A0E0861-9700-4001-B106-4D3F08990291.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmSe7aBxNAzw3MGoUGqXWSevvsv1HUdkhu2HJGnoyi5qyL/5A0E0861-9700-4001-B106-4D3F08990291.jpeg)\n\nThese last 4 months have been an extremely hard time in my life. I’ve felt like I was drowning, to exhausted to keep swimming towards a shore that never seemed to get closer. In the beginning of September my grandma landed in the hospital with back problems. As we were dealing with her new health complications ( which landed in the middle of harvest time on the farm) my parents told me that my mom was expecting her 13th child. I was happy and excited but at the same time extremely worried since just a few months prior my mom had to have emergency surgery to remove her left ovary due to a twisted cyst. Her last two pregnancies had also been very exhausting and hard for her. This baby came as a surprise to my parents as they were ready to be done with 12. Nonetheless the thought of having a newborn baby to hold again was exciting and I couldn’t wait to love on this new little one.......Sadly 3 days after my parents told me the news my mom was rushed to the emergency room. My little baby brother or sister’s life ended just a month after it began. It was hard for me to comprehend. This was something I never thought I would experience yet now it was all to real. It was a different hurt that I had never dealt with before and I didn’t know how to handle it. I just remember crying uncontrollably, asking God how I was suppose to let go of someone I had never held.  How was I suppose to praise God in this situation? \n\n![AE326C4D-0D8F-4749-867A-727E0540EABF.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmaZy5ocxzc4wT2v1gJLbvjBXDGEky38p8gzZJGRQ179BK/AE326C4D-0D8F-4749-867A-727E0540EABF.jpeg)\n\nJust a month later, as I was getting ready for bed, my grandma called saying grandpa was having chest pains. On the way to the hospital (via ambulance) he had a major heart attack. All 4 of his valves were blocked and barely functioning. He was rushed into emergency surgery to get 3 of the 5 stints put in that would help his heart to function properly. I sat there in stunned shock that I almost lost my grandpa and that at anytime he could have another attack. How was this happening? Why?! In utter exhaustion I cried out to God that I’d  had enough. I couldn’t take it anymore...but Satan wasn’t done testing me yet. Four days after being realeased from the hospital my grandpa got into a car accident. By the grace of God no one was hurt and life continued on. My grandpa made 2 more scary trips to the ER and the fear of losing him never leaves my mind. How was I to praise God in this?\n\n![9DD59107-B756-4BFB-BFD6-DCA4F675CE35.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmaLnMbSiSqSKaJQNtGwTniN71xWhVCwm9czhKgFo1Pigf/9DD59107-B756-4BFB-BFD6-DCA4F675CE35.jpeg)\n\nTEARS OF FRUSTRATION \n—————————————\nAs all this was going on I was fighting another battle physically. The middle of September I developed a cough that stuck with me until the beginning of November. It got so bad at one point that I was stuck laying on a couch for almost 2 weeks because of the pain in my side. We suspected it was either pneumonia or bronchitis...or both. By the end of October I was feeling almost myself so I went to Virginia and Maryland to visit my best friend and my family for my birthday. I had a great time and made memories I will never forget. In that brief time I could almost imagine my life getting back to normal and not fearing what the next day would hold. I spoke to soon. One week before I was to head home I got sick. Thankfully it was a 24 hour bug and I could enjoy the rest of my vacation...or so I thought....it was not to be. Three days later I got a major ear infection and extreme pain in the whole left side of my face that drove me to tears. I arrived home emotionally and physically drained. This pain lasted for ten days and for weeks after I could only do a few hours work before my eyes would start feeling pressured and cause pain in my head. At this point all I wanted to do was give up. I couldn’t understand why all this was happening to me and my family. Again I cried out to God as tears of frustration and pain ran down my face. “God how will I get through this? When will it stop? How much more will I have to go through?”\n\n![B57594F1-6C7E-462E-B9D5-4F527B2FEEAE.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmfKwmrhNwi4iEMMviEz7TKwyoqT8sZY5RHhQQwEeCPQMM/B57594F1-6C7E-462E-B9D5-4F527B2FEEAE.jpeg)\n\nTEARS OF JOY\n————————\nSo how does one praise God in situations like these? Well let me ask you this; How many times have you missed the rainbow because you were complaining about the rain? See it’s easier for us as humans to complain about the bad things that happen than it is for us to focus on the good. Why is that? Maybe it’s because Satan makes the bad things stand out by constantly reminding us of them? Or maybe it’s because it’s easier to complain about something that’s happened in our life that makes it hard to be happy instead of getting up and focusing on all the good we can make out of a bad situation. God doesn’t want our trials to knock us down. He wants them to push us to move foward and trust Him to make something good out of it. Each painful experience we go through will help us to understand and help someone else through it in the future. Our God is a God of love and the pain we feel He feels abundantly more because He takes our pain upon Himself. He cares about every little thing that happens in our life. As tears of pain and sadness roll down our cheeks He wants only to wipe them from our face and turn them from tears of sadness to tears of joy. \n\n![52A819CD-0180-48CF-82D2-C812BBD672B4.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmRMtULbqT4LdipMY4mUqbeRe6EzCXFhga4DhqKoZdvgVS/52A819CD-0180-48CF-82D2-C812BBD672B4.jpeg)\n\nSo yes I WILL praise God in the rainy times of my life. I will praise Him for His hand of protection over my grandma and grandpa. He knew I needed them in my life at this time. I will praise Him for His overwhelming love over my mom as He welcomed her little one into His waiting arms and sent His comfort and peace to embrace her during this time in her life. I will praise Him for His hand of compassion and love as I went through the pain of being sick and dealing with the emotions of what happened in these last few months. And most of all I will praise Him for the life He has given me; filled with amazing family and friends that encourage and stand by me, for a vision to teach the world with the talents He has blessed me with and the hope that one day I will bring the light to people who live in darkness. Until then I will continue to focus on singing God’s praises in the rain. \n\n![CE005799-4CFB-4836-A61F-E99C34A667F9.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmd1k3t5gcfAuFFrkd4u85AEWF74Dz475TiXu8rw8MBXaS/CE005799-4CFB-4836-A61F-E99C34A667F9.jpeg)",
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      "author": "steemitboard",
      "body": "Congratulations @cpurejoy! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@cpurejoy/birthday2.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@cpurejoy) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=cpurejoy)_</sub>\n\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "body": "WHAT IS MY CALLING?\n\n  From the young age of ten God had already laid upon my heart a passion to serve and to help. But who would I serve? And how could I help? Four years later God showed me exactly how I would help and who I would serve. I was to help teen and young adult girls who were going through depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, self harm, self worth, anorexia, etc. I didn’t know how I was going to do that but I knew God would tell me eventually. Around that time I started putting my love for writing to use and began writing devotional for teen girls. I loved writing them and shared them with my friends who then would send them to girls they knew needed to read them. I was shocked to see that God was using me already...in some small way. But then I stopped writing them. I started overthinking and I asked myself why I thought I could write about something I had never experienced and expect others to listen to me? And in doing that I took God right out of my writing. It wasn’t me writing those devotionals. It wasn’t me coming up with the right words to say. It was God. Yet in that moment I totally ignored that fact and told God that He had the wrong girl for the job. Looking back now I can just see God shaking His head, chuckling, as He says “my daughter, I never make mistakes.” \n![E98F02DE-940E-4795-B8BA-99976CDB025E.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmTf86awjjRBoPU5bHsV44sadsGNuP1qZZiVyNVDtDXFrA/E98F02DE-940E-4795-B8BA-99976CDB025E.jpeg)\n\n Sadly I had to learn that the hard way. In the years to come my relationship with God started drifting away. Don’t get me wrong, He was always by my side, it was me that walked away. Everything that I inwardly struggled with came to the surface and I suddenly found myself in a fast spiral downwards. All those problems I thought I couldn’t write about because I had never experienced them suddenly became all to real to me. God stayed by my side and helped me through even when I fought against Him and tried to ignore Him. I didn’t want to do what He had created me to do. Why? Because of fear. I was afraid that if I let go and stopped fighting, God would take me outside of my comfort zone and I wouldn’t be able to control things anymore. I laugh now because I was never in control in the first place. God knew that but He patiently waited for me to realize it on my own. I recently asked God why He called someone who was so hard headed and stubborn and His reply brought me to tears....He said “I knew when I created you with a strong-willed mind and a stubborn spirit that getting you to the place of surrender would be a long and painful journey. I didn’t want to see you struggle through so much but I knew it was the only way for you to learn and understand everything I needed you to. In time, my daughter, you will see why I created you to be stubborn and strong-willed. They are two of your greatest features and will help you greatly throughout your life if you use them correctly...trust me, I make no mistakes.”\n![D9CAC998-34E8-4FEC-A4B1-E89605F4A320.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmXapYAQifStdJXQovA6wWABmUmAtHYMCVc6g1pVKtyVNh/D9CAC998-34E8-4FEC-A4B1-E89605F4A320.jpeg)\n\nWHERE WILL I GO? \n\n I don’t know the answer to that question yet. But while I’m waiting I am preparing myself for the journey He has planned for me..big or small. \n\n![94823AD3-FA3F-47CF-BBD7-96FCC5E7078C.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmUR32442MsPHUT43pDsX6UqDFpf7v4fj4fh7ThHwDnbks/94823AD3-FA3F-47CF-BBD7-96FCC5E7078C.jpeg)\n\n \n![6D970C78-8A20-433B-8309-5CDF75D24C25.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmUTDbcizJPGyddtYJzNkzpccHKemtYMjBHts2JxgaA6pr/6D970C78-8A20-433B-8309-5CDF75D24C25.jpeg)\n![C8EC4854-609D-4F69-8FF8-AE0E4D78D5B0.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmYB17qqnMZcorZwSSXK9CLhG8Ly3E3B9sWUJubSqx75B1/C8EC4854-609D-4F69-8FF8-AE0E4D78D5B0.jpeg)\n\nWHY ME?\n\n So why me? What impact could I do? Why not someone more qualified? Who knows what their doing. To be honest I still don’t understand why but I know in time God will tell me. It’s scary to think that I will have to be vulnerable. And often times I’ve almost let that fear keep me from letting God work through me, It’s hard to let go of fear and that’s something I fight with daily. But it’s a battle I’m going to win because I know God is fighting it with me. He never, NEVER makes a mistake. I was born for this! \n ![57323F16-2A93-4BAD-91A1-5AC07D500970.jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVB4ouRS82G7dk1gy8uCTrZRxfTPy68isbbvGBKsGgzZZ/57323F16-2A93-4BAD-91A1-5AC07D500970.jpeg)",
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      "body": "DO YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND?\n  These few words came from my 4 year old brothers mouth just minutes after we arrived at camp. While the adults were setting up the tents and campers, I decided to get the little ones out of everyone’s hair and take them down to the playground. My little brother skipped happily by my side on the walk down, tugging on my hand so I would go faster and he could catch up with his siblings who had run on ahead. Pure excitement sparkles in those big blue eyes. When we arrived I let go of his hand and he sprung into action, going from one thing to the next in a frenzied rush, almost as, if he didn’t hurry and try everything, the playground might disappear. I sat down and watched his simple joy of a plastic tube with windows. He would call out ‘I see you!’ when he had crawled to each little peephole in the tube. Finally another little boy joined him and, with a huge grin on his face, my brother proceeded to ask ‘Do you want to be my friend?’ I envied his fearlessness and sadly wondered when it had stopped being so easy for me to ask that very same question. When did I start caring so much about what others thought...or the rejection? Why did I ever let that rob me of friendships I could have had if only I had the guts to walk up to someone and say ‘do you want to be friends?’ Why? Why do we care so much about others opinions of ourselves when the only opinion we should care about is God’s? Yet I feel like we often worry more about others thoughts on who we are instead of our Fathers’.\n![A5B44F28-7820-4A66-80B4-2F0B878982C2.jpeg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcGcCuvA43oaMStbuzEg9QapGsCXhKRcxtZTCQXxpYhQv/A5B44F28-7820-4A66-80B4-2F0B878982C2.jpeg)\n ‘Well God loves us no matter what. People don’t.’ That is true. So why do we care about people’s opinions when they can be changed so easily? We could spend our whole lives trying to fit into a world where what’s ‘popular’ or ‘in’ constantly changes. How exhausting is that? What kind of life do you think that is? Would you ever be happy?\n![BB368BED-C410-4D5F-AF27-5A993A9A8391.jpeg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmbJYvshrU7NrmQ5LzEePxm5BiDY2ewxM67wfvVCo3aWK3/BB368BED-C410-4D5F-AF27-5A993A9A8391.jpeg)\n\nFRIEND OR FOE?\n Often times, in a world where you can have hundreds of followers on social media, we find ourselves surrounded by multiple “friends”. Sure they can be supportive or encouraging but their opinion of you can be changed instantly when you say or do something they don’t like. Next thing you know those “friends” are shooting off so many words of hate and hurtful lies that destroy the way you think of your life and yourself. And that doesn’t just go for those friends on social media. Sadly it’s gotten hard to know who your true friends are...and because of that, trust in people these days, is broken. All of a sudden we find ourselves sitting on a bench envying the pure trust of a 4 year old boy. \n![F475EF41-07B7-4D49-92CF-950D2A6592D1.jpeg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmTeyCna3ZHQgxefWpQSLGW9Sfy6Z9GM1emgByNo9bURo4/F475EF41-07B7-4D49-92CF-950D2A6592D1.jpeg)\nSo my question is this...Why shouldn’t we, as Christians, be a friend to one another? Why have we let the world invade on our trust of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ? It should be as easy as this ‘ Oh you love God?! Let’s be friends!’ Right people?!? Our closest friends should be those that are in love with Jesus and strive to live a life pleasing to Him. Those friends will build you up, have your back, and encourage you to conquer those dreams God has placed upon your heart. I thank God everyday for the godly friends He has blessed me with. I say blessed because I know that there are so called ‘Christians’ out there that will let you down and turn on you just like a great many people in this world. And again it’s hard to trust. But there is one you can always trust...God. \n![CD1182E2-ACAF-4AE1-865E-D27EF3927888.jpeg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQma4ngZpwjvZjtLKFxGmmm3Gg1iB7SR5EpwsXfSqdfDJYy/CD1182E2-ACAF-4AE1-865E-D27EF3927888.jpeg)\n\nWILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?\n So dear readers I encourage you. Put yourself out there. Just remember, God puts each and everyone in your life for a reason. Either to teach you something, help you grow, or to bless you with a friend that you can minister to or they can minister to you. Build each other up. Also work on your trust in God, take one more big step of faith and ask those who do not know God ‘Do you want to be my friend?’ God places us in the lives of others as well to show them His light and love. Yes there is a chance you may get hurt, but hey, we have the Ultimate Healer walking with us daily. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s not as easy as it sounds and we are no longer 4 years old. I’m the biggest culprit when it comes to trusting God and putting myself out there to make friends. I instantly think they will judge me and I won’t be good enough. In fact, when someone comes along I often don’t even talk to them or look at them.....sometimes I even walk away. \n![6B6BE900-23BB-4DF2-B614-115CC41D4EC3.jpeg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmNVs6PYCD1dkzokHCJsDekKcPunWv6no2BCfW8v9oepoR/6B6BE900-23BB-4DF2-B614-115CC41D4EC3.jpeg)\nWithout even thinking that me doing that could make them feel like I thought they weren’t good enough to talk to! I let my fear keep me from a life of low possibilities to impact peoples lives! What kind of life is that?! God didn’t call us to live safe. We are called to step out boldly and trust Him to lay a path before us. So talk to that girl in the corner or the popular one standing in a group of people. It may be intimadating but she may be desperate for a true friend. 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