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      "body": "Life can throw you a curve ball in your calling. Coming out of the other side of a year long illness has taught me that lesson. I’d never given a thought to blogging or coaching. It was just something not on my radar. I had bought a domain and hosting a year prior thinking only in terms of building a practice, not a way of life. I thought that perhaps a web page advertising my services, continuing education classes and counseling would be my way of life. Not so! My world was changed and turned upside down and it has not been the first time. You would think I would learn.![Solitude.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmUNSh7Eo2p15pGCHkciAMLKN4Gic4YU3XgzcC5MCVEGRp/Solitude.jpg)\n\n  Currently I am in a season of life that I am very familiar with: isolation. It’s not uncommon when going through life’s changes that one finds, for a season, you are hidden. It is a very lonely place and, in the beginning, I fight against it. It takes me a minute to see the change of season in my life and calibrate to the new normal. I embrace the solitude. Solitude is a positive thing. It is an empty space around me that can be filled with positivity. Solitude is a blank canvas that comes alive with every new concept learned, each of which, creates a brush stroke. These concepts and, even the new like minded friends, create imageries on the canvas that will hang in the gallery of our personal showing.\n\nAlone at my desk, navigating these new concepts of web design, blogging and marketing; I can fill my space with chats among like minded bloggers and writers. These conversations edify and make for creative energy that flows into my personal space. The web is a university and, for me, the Ruach Ha”kodesh רוח הקודש is my guide. In our hidden season, there is no competition, only a deep learning curve. As we emerge from the solitude, those lessons are fully integrated and the world is ready to view what has been planted firmly inside.\n\n![Ruach Wind .jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmbruDyeD7hsCjnQujajvyGecjHbEZNaLvKPXV57KLVYNe/Ruach%20Wind%20.jpg)\n  In this  season of life your circle will be small. I rely on Papa Yah to bring forth, by divine appointment, those who are to be in my sphere in this season. After a period of mourning the solitude, He never ceases to amaze me with the people and adventures he brings on and offline. The reason our circle must be divinely protected for a time, is to keep others who will not understand at bay. Those whom you already know that have personal issues and, perhaps, some insecurity at your success are starkly highlighted. In this time, you learn who your friends are in this phase of life and, potentially, friends and loved ones may have to be sidelined for a time.\n\nIt doesn’t always mean a permanent separation, only until they learn to respect what is now your reality. These inner circle friends and supportive family members see you at your absolute rawest. They hear you lamenting as you are trying to grasp the subject at hand. They listen to us as we talk about fighting off distractions that we can sometimes create for ourselves. Allowing negativity will only erode your productivity and harm your budding confidence in this new season. This is why isolation is necessary. It is an editor of your social interactions that leaves only those who will have honest lasting impact on your life.\n![Butterfly.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmPBuZXWoZMpLDuba8PaqiGb9oQNjrQKCfrP9C1JPvBvSS/Butterfly.jpg)\n\n  Isolation introduces you to new facets of yourself that were hidden from existence. It brings to the surface parts of you from the past, that perhaps, need to find peace and integrate into the here and now. Isolation brings time for us to commune with our creator and engage with the wonderful imagination that he gave us. Isolation is the wind that puts imagination to flight. One can only create in the crowd on a limited scale. In isolation there is no one to judge you but you. This is where you learn how you honestly treat your own person. Isolation is a many faceted life lesson on who you are to others and who you really are to yourself. Lies have a way of disappearing, and your own inner dialogue changing when you engage your Creator in this divinely appointed season.\n\n  This is the ultimate in self help. Sometimes we seek it purposefully, like a fast from the outside world for a day or maybe more. Then there is the full blown season. When you understand this particular rhythm of life, you will know that after the isolation comes acceleration and favor. If you have learned to properly treat yourself and accept the editing of negativity, there will be elevation. You have been given a specific message that only you can bring after having been in this season of life. Partnering with the Ruach רוח הקודש, who literally means breath, brings the giving of the wind to your wings so that you may soar. Coming out of isolation, you will find that you are strengthened in such a way that when your message comes forth and shatters existing paradigms, you can handle the opposition from a place of peace. When the detractors come in full force, you can still share your message with grace. Isolation is to a human as cocoons are to a butterfly.\n \nShalom\nStacia A. Martin\nThe Coffee House Counselor.com",
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      "title": "Keto Diet: How to Support Yourself",
      "body": "Keto is now all the rage in the health and fitness industry. So in this article I show you common complaints and solutions for your new lifestyle change. Keto was designed originally to control seizures but, within the Keto community itself, we see actual success stories of keto’s ability to combat inflammation, cancers, autoimmune, heart disease and diabetes.. There are many people achieving great health benefits. Keto is not a temporary diet solution, it is a lifestyle change, especially for the ones who are critically ill. I, myself, am an avid keto lifestyler. I am active in more than a few groups. Over this past year I have devoted myself to the keto groups for support, recipes and also to help my fellow keto lifestylers. Within these groups I see these three common grievances.\n1. My Partner won’t support me even though they need keto as much as I do.\n2. My kids/partner eat my expensive keto food.\n3. My friends and family sabotage me.\nThese are not just diet issues these are actually relationship issues. Keto has become the great equalizer in the home. I have seen Keto break relationships and cause frustration in the home. But how do you combat these issues? Let’s break them down by number.\n\n![Keto How to Support Yourself.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmchvHnzAqqCUx82n2JPFVJzCP4DnuzVCEjpvtS3EJudND/Keto%20How%20to%20Support%20Yourself.jpg)\nPhoto by sydney Rae on Unsplash\n\n1. My Partner won’t support me even though they need Keto  as much as I do.\nThe first complaint is a twofold problem. First we have to separate our issue from our partner’s. Your health issue is your own and your responsibility to take care of. Your partner has a right to reject Keto just as you have a right to embrace it. Their diet is their choice. No one force fed you when you were not on Keto. So why would you try to force feed them now that you have gone Keto? It would be nice if your partner took you into consideration. This does not mean that their lack of participation is about you. It is about them. If you depend solely upon your partner to agree with everything, then perhaps there is some over-expectations and or codependency in the relationship.\nMy sweetheart was not on board the Keto train at first, but he came around. If you cannot get support from your partner, online groups abound. Facebook and Sparkpeople are two great places to look. There are many in your shoes. No one person can fulfill all your support needs, you are designed to operate in community. Finding support in online or traditional groups gives you the reinforcement you need and frees you to see the other wonderful things that your partner brings to the table. The best ways to win them to keto is never debate or argue. Let them see your success. Nagging will do the opposite of what you are trying to achieve. When they see your weight-loss, blood work change, and your commitment over the long haul, they will take notice.\n2. My kids/partner eat my expensive keto food.\nKeto food can be expensive up front but once you become ‘fat adapted’ the cost goes down. At this point, you tend to eat less frequently so your food dollars stretch further. This, however, means nothing when you are on a tight budget and trying to make every dollar count. Also, if you are very seriously ill, then keto food is actually medication for your body to heal. So, number two on our list is a boundary issue. Ask yourself: Would you allow your child or partner to go into your medicine cabinet without asking and take your prescription that is saving your life? Would you allow your child to just go into your purse without asking and take out the equivalent in cash for your groceries without asking? Even if you can replace it, does the taking without asking make it right? Believe it or not, it is the same principal. How would you handle it? It’s up to you to enforce your boundaries.\n3. My friends and family sabotage me.\nNumber three is heartbreaking. Deliberate sabotage is a form of betrayal. No matter what form it is in, it still hurts. This is where we have to make some serious observations. Why would someone do that to a person they love? Maybe they are insecure. You can reassure a person, but at the end of the day, never take responsibility for their issue. They may fear that you will leave them even though it is actually your intent to be healthy so you can enjoy a longer life with them. Some people genuinely are super-sensitive to change and react very negatively. As they watch you grow and succeed, they will come to realize that they are safe. This area is why you need your support group the most. Be patient. If a friend or family member is just outright hostile, no matter your effort, cutting fellowship with them until they are safe to be around again may be your only option. They may even cut fellowship with you. Chalk it up as their loss, not yours. You gained some peace of mind. Your keto diet flushes toxicity in your body and your life. If it is your spouse or partner that is deliberately sabotaging you, then this is a serious relationship issue and a marriage coach, pastor or counselor should be consulted . Your domestic partner should have some respect to at least minimize your exposure to trigger foods, even if they are not on the new eating plan.\nKeto is change, and any change affects the family dynamic. Change can show you weak areas within yourself and your family dynamic. This is why we call it a lifestyle change. Keto gives us an opportunity to be healthy in our bodies and relationships. I pray your keto journey will be successful in every way!\nShalom\nStacia Martin\nThe Coffee House Counselor .com",
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      "body": "Stress is a fact of life. Some stress we can control and others we cannot. Those stressors that we cannot control, we can only try to minimize. But there are stressors that we can tame. Identifying their source and remedy can put us on a path back to peace. Here are five areas within ourselves, that with some investigation and evaluation, can set our spirits at ease.![5 Ways to Handle Stress.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmXUdgXz8dRMHo7t3mGhY5HNZGq12jrpchv6xG1dsyAFw5/5%20Ways%20to%20Handle%20Stress.jpg)Photo by Milos Tonchevski on Unsplash\n\n1. Inventory your output with your family and friends\n\nWe live in a stressful, performance driven world and it is no surprise that stress related health issues are cropping up. Friends and Family were meant to be a mutual support network but they can also be part of a toxic stress load. When doing an inventory, ask yourself are you giving more than you are getting? I understand that you may have a true friend that cannot give back to you at this moment and you may be their only support. In those cases, make sure you are not over-supporting. Over-supporting can lead to physical and mental drain. Take a hard look. It may be easier for you to just do a task but, at the end of the day, those little tasks add up. Over-helping can also lead to some unintended codependency. Ask yourself why you are helping. We should never give out of guilt or resentment. That is not part of an honest, balanced relationship. Giving a true ‘yes’ leaves you at peace and preserves honesty in the relationship. A true ‘yes’ will never breed resentment.\n\n2. Reevaluate your core values\n\nA value is something that is important to us. Examples of these can be family, career and hobbies. A friend once told me, you will always live the way you truly believe. Are you living congruent with your values and life’s goals? If not, then maybe it is time to readjust your course. It may be you are in a different season and your values shifted. The very act of identifying the shift and prioritizing around what values you are living out now, can ease the tension within. If we are living incongruent to what we truly value and believe it can cause internal conflict and stress.\n\n3. Check your boundaries\n\nDoes your no really mean no? Does your yes really mean yes? Boundaries are the walls that keep the good in and the bad out. When we lay down boundaries and do not enforce them, others can lose respect for us. We can even begin to lose respect for ourselves. Only set boundaries that you are ready to enforce. If you are feeling angry and frustrated, it could be that someone has violated a boundary with you. This boundary may have been one you had not ever verbalized. People who continue to violate your boundaries are not honoring you or your position. Does this sound like a relationship that produces peace?\n\n4. Listen to your Self Talk\n\nMany times we live our lives on autopilot and we are just trying to get through the tasks at hand. We are unaware of our subconscious self-talk. When we purposely tune in, we can discern if we are poisoning ourselves. Learn your own love language and nourish yourself with kind words and acceptance.\n\n5. Identify Your Fears\n\nTake time to be honest with yourself about your fears and anxieties. Are they real or are they ‘what ifs’? Follow through with the ‘what ifs’. Practically, what can you do if the event occurs? What is your recourse? How likely is it that the event could actually occur? Are you taking on a worry that isn’t yours? Are your fears founded? If indeed they are founded, seek wise experienced counsel in the area of your fear to walk you through the situation. If your fears stay below the surface and are unidentified they will simmer and multiply. Facing the fear and ‘what ifs’ with a solid strategy, not only lifts the internal anxiety but also helps create resiliency.\n\nShalom\nStacia Martin\nThe Coffee House Counselor",
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