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      "body": "Mathematics: Friends, how do we tackle and solve these problems we are breathing and living with, in our country today?\n\nEnglish: Honestly, it's becoming unbecoming and the people we put in power keep dishing out headache-inducing grammars like these grammars are supposed to be some sort of painkillers our country needs to function properly.\n\nGeography: It's not just our country alone facing this colossal mess. Safe to say that all African countries are in this deep mess and Trump was right to have called us a shithole. The problem is, how deep is the shit? Can it be measured? \n\nCommerce: It should become everyone's business not just the business of the people we put in power. Change is supposed to begin with you and me. \n\nSocial studies: Yes. Change should start from the smallest unit in the society and climb its way up. That way, there's hope for the younger generations.\n\nCRS: If only we wouldn't be so religious. How often do we say \"It's in God's hands\" and how often do we take action? Sometimes, we make this religion thing look bizarre.\n\nIntroductory Technology: We are the architects of our own problems. Countries who are better off today have gone ahead to effect change and enjoy this change because they follow rules which works always. Religion or no religion. \n\nComputer studies: This virus called corruption has done more harm than good. Bit by bit, we can make this country called Nigeria work. If there should be an upgrade or some kind of rebooting, we have to give power to the masses. \n\nMusic: Not just power, their voice should be heard too. Freedom of speech does not work in this country of ours and it has to change. \n\nFine Art: Hopefully, the Nigeria of our dreams would be beautiful some day. Drawing points from this conversation of ours, what we need now is some sort of sensitization and action plan. \n\nAgricultural science: Themes like \"Buy Nigeria to grow Nigeria\" should be implemented at the grassroots. Nigeria must and will flourish. \n\nLanguage: Ise!!! Nigeria must flourish. You all have spoken well.\n\n#SubjectPun",
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      "body": "One Saturday morning, I had been excited. Extremely so. It wasn't the caterer's bell that spurred such excitement from me.  I was hungry, but for a while because of my excitement, I hadn't paid attention to the familiar hunger pangs. Boarding school made hunger look sexy. \n\nThe previous day, being Friday, we had gotten new set of uniforms. But it wasn't the excitement that came from entering a new class that left me in a light mood that morning, it was the fact that we were going to be wearing skirt and jacket starting from the following week as opposed to the pinafor we usually wore. \n\nWe were finally senior students and although we were the last in the level - SS1, wearing skirt and jacket had been a dream we couldn't wait to live. \n\nSo that Saturday morning, I had taken my new set of uniforms to the ironing room to make them presentable for Monday. The plans I had had for that uniform ehn. \n\nThere's this thing we used to do back then that would seem childish now. If there were no lines, at least ten lines on the uniform, you haven't started yet. That's what we call getto. I don't know if that's the spelling, but that's how we pronounce it. \n\nIn the ironing room, I had met someone there. It would have been a miracle if it were to have been different. Someone is always ironing. Even at 2am.\n\nI had leaned into the room, the both sides of the door anchoring my hands in the process to tell her I would be next in line, after she was done. \n\nWhile I had leaned in, a sneaky little bitch that had been on the door  greeted me in a rather weird manner. She's famous for injuring people and leaving scars. A heartless son of a metal. A nail. \n\nI hadn't responded to her greetings. So when I was done with my business, I went out of the ironing room to go get myself ready for breakfast. The hunger wasn't sexy to look at anymore. \n\nReaching outside, Sir harmattan had said hi. What's with all the unwanted greeting na? I however responded to sir harmattan because his had left pain. \n\nApparently, the sneaky little bitch had lived up to her reputation again and had left an ugly gash on my right hand. I could literally see my bone and Sir harmattan being the conceited human that he was, never failed to rub it in the more. \n\nI began crying. Oh, how much it had hurt. I didn't understand how I failed to realize that as I leaned deeper into the door, the sneaky batch had dug deeper. I didn't even feel anything. \n\nSo, I dragged my legs to the Sick bay after Sir harmattan had had enough laugh. The Sickbay was rumored to have had a nurse that gave injections as a panel beater would do to a car that needed fixing. \n\nLuckily for me, I had met a lesser evil. The nurse on duty had just poured iodine on the gash and used a cotton wool to cover its nakedness. \n\nI knew she was supposed to have dressed the wound in a better way. Stitch it or something and not the poverty sticken cotton wool she had given it to wear when her mates would have adorned the gash in a fine Armani suit. \n\nYears later, I would pay dearly for that nurse's ineptitude. \n\n***\nPresent day. \n\nLocation: Rest room. \n\nTime: 8:am\n\nMission: To evacuate every brown looking amoeba called Faeces from Town Anus to Country White toilet.\n\nSorry for the break in transmission. When that nurse had left me to my fate, she had left me with a present. You see, that wound didn't heal properly and anytime I go to the toilet to defecate, it hurts. With each dump, that injury stings. Even when I use my right hand to lift or carry something heavy, it hurts. \n\nI'm here in the toilet and the familiar pain came back and I thought to tell you my story. I don't know how long this pain would continue but I do understand why people say the past never really goes away. When you find yourself in a shitty situation, you would always remember the past that got you in that shitty situation. \n\nThe good thing is, it would only be for a while. It is in your power to dust yourself up (like I have cleaned my bum bum)  and walk out majestically. \n\nNot everyone can shit comfortably. Some have only known purging all their lives. And some, constipation. Use purging and constipation to define real life situations. You see now? It would be fine, dear one. ❤️",
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      "body": "One Saturday morning, I had been excited. Extremely so. It wasn't the caterer's bell that spurred such excitement from me.  I was hungry, but for a while because of my excitement, I hadn't paid attention to the familiar hunger pangs. Boarding school made hunger look sexy. \n\nThe previous day, being Friday, we had gotten new set of uniforms. But it wasn't the excitement that came from entering a new class that left me in a light mood that morning, it was the fact that we were going to be wearing skirt and jacket starting from the following week as opposed to the pinafor we usually wore. \n\nWe were finally senior students and although we were the last in the level - SS1, wearing skirt and jacket had been a dream we couldn't wait to live. \n\nSo that Saturday morning, I had taken my new set of uniforms to the ironing room to make them presentable for Monday. The plans I had had for that uniform ehn. \n\nThere's this thing we used to do back then that would seem childish now. If there were no lines, at least ten lines on the uniform, you haven't started yet. That's what we call getto. I don't know if that's the spelling, but that's how we pronounce it. \n\nIn the ironing room, I had met someone there. It would have been a miracle if it were to have been different. Someone is always ironing. Even at 2am.\n\nI had leaned into the room, the both sides of the door anchoring my hands in the process to tell her I would be next in line, after she was done. \n\nWhile I had leaned in, a sneaky little bitch that had been on the door  greeted me in a rather weird manner. She's famous for injuring people and leaving scars. A heartless son of a metal. A nail. \n\nI hadn't responded to her greetings. So when I was done with my business, I went out of the ironing room to go get myself ready for breakfast. The hunger wasn't sexy to look at anymore. \n\nReaching outside, Sir harmattan had said hi. What's with all the unwanted greeting na? I however responded to sir harmattan because his had left pain. \n\nApparently, the sneaky little bitch had lived up to her reputation again and had left an ugly gash on my right hand. I could literally see my bone and Sir harmattan being the conceited human that he was, never failed to rub it in the more. \n\nI began crying. Oh, how much it had hurt. I didn't understand how I failed to realize that as I leaned deeper into the door, the sneaky batch had dug deeper. I didn't even feel anything. \n\nSo, I dragged my legs to the Sick bay after Sir harmattan had had enough laugh. The Sickbay was rumored to have had a nurse that gave injections as a panel beater would do to a car that needed fixing. \n\nLuckily for me, I had met a lesser evil. The nurse on duty had just poured iodine on the gash and used a cotton wool to cover its nakedness. \n\nI knew she was supposed to have dressed the wound in a better way. Stitch it or something and not the poverty sticken cotton wool she had given it to wear when her mates would have adorned the gash in a fine Armani suit. \n\nYears later, I would pay dearly for that nurse's ineptitude. \n\n***\nPresent day. \n\nLocation: Rest room. \n\nTime: 8:am\n\nMission: To evacuate every brown looking amoeba called Faeces from Town Anus to Country White toilet.\n\nSorry for the break in transmission. When that nurse had left me to my fate, she had left me with a present. You see, that wound didn't heal properly and anytime I go to the toilet to defecate, it hurts. With each dump, that injury stings. Even when I use my right hand to lift or carry something heavy, it hurts. \n\nI'm here in the toilet and the familiar pain came back and I thought to tell you my story. I don't know how long this pain would continue but I do understand why people say the past never really goes away. When you find yourself in a shitty situation, you would always remember the past that got you in that shitty situation. \n\nThe good thing is, it would only be for a while. It is in your power to dust yourself up (like I have cleaned my bum bum)  and walk out majestically. \n\nNot everyone can shit comfortably. Some have only known purging all their lives. And some, constipation. Use purging and constipation to define real life situations. You see now? It would be fine, dear one. ❤️",
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