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      "body": "<html>\n<p>It's cold outside</p>\n<p>and sometimes I have to be cold with you</p>\n<p>to cope with the true persona when you awaken&nbsp;</p>\n<p>is it your true persona?</p>\n<p>or do you just want me cold with the breeze of a distance</p>\n<p>sometimes the best I can be is just here in existence</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>my goals are just to make it&nbsp;</p>\n<p>to gain some sort of routine where I breathe without my heart racing</p>\n<p>without wondering if your footsteps behind me will be followed by an unsound</p>\n<p>accusation</p>\n<p>what have I done for you lately?</p>\n<p>what have I done?</p>\n<p>I am just stepping forward onto stones of age trying not to trip over myself</p>\n<p>I am just trying to be a version of myself I can be proud of</p>\n<p>And yes I fail, I fail often and I fail again.</p>\n<p>I move on and I wake awake with a new day&nbsp;</p>\n<p>a new sunrise hitting my backside and I try again</p>\n<p>This is how I am</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>Will you look at me?</p>\n<p>And if you do will you really see?</p>\n<p>that I am just a human crawling toward normalcy</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>Because I can only write when I am angry</p>\n<p>So I Thank you&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Enjoy the coffee</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>https://youtu.be/1UJXIwkxJVc</p>\n</html>",
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      "body": "I’m so glad you finally know what’s going on with your health. A lot of doctors don’t actually care about the well being of their patients. Just tell them it’s this and that. Prescribed this and that medicine. Does nothing for the patient but creates issues that didn’t need to be there in the first place. \n\nI look forward to seeing some updates from you in the future. Hang in there friend, and thank you for sharing your experience with us here on Steemit. \n\n🙏🏽🥰💪🏽",
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      "body": "<html>\n<p>I have Graves Disease in other words a hyperactive thyroid. So I am basically speeding but with all the ill effects and none of the good stuff. I recently started an anti thyroid drug to stop the overproduction of certain hormones. That drug is called methimazole. I am on a fairly low dose of 10mg however I do experience some rather unpleasant side effects. Some of which are itching without a rash, inflammation, weight gain, and muscle fatigue. For the most part I am trying to just grin and bare it because I very rarely need to take beta blockers currently. &nbsp;When I was at the peak of hyperthyroidism my heart rate was just running full blast all the time whether or I was asleep or awake. It was a panic attack ridden, and scary experience. I have somewhat leveled out now after just over a month of the anti thyroid medication. However I can feel my body wanting to fight it, wanting to stay hyper. So I really hope this medication works and it doesn't cause any long term ill effects. In the mean time I have been writing more often. Playing some video games I haven't touched since at least a year ago. And trying to just get back to my old self. It is a daily struggle. &nbsp;It's really amazing how much a little butterfly of a gland can control and do to a person when it malfunctions. &nbsp;I had to switch my primary care doctor after a battle of not being listened to for years and just being peddled anti depressants etc. I finally found a PCP that listened to me and referred to my endocrinologist and its been an uphill battle since. But at least I know now what I am fighting for.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>Just some other links I have determined to be personally relevant to this entry.</p>\n<p>https://youtu.be/00hbcQ8aUjU</p>\n<p>https://g.co/kgs/whhNpz</p>\n</html>",
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      "body": "Congratulations @cha00s! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/60x60/http://steemitboard.com/notifications/firstpost.png</td><td>You published your First Post</td></tr>\n<tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/60x60/http://steemitboard.com/notifications/firstvoted.png</td><td>You got a First Vote</td></tr>\n</table>\n\n<sub>_[Click here to view your Board of Honor](https://steemitboard.com/@cha00s)_</sub>\n<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>\n\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/the-new-steemfest-award-is-ready\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmeEYkuDHNp3c9dC6Q5s8Wysi8DrXR89FHAFiu5XoQW8Vr/SteemitBoard_header_Krakow2018.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/the-new-steemfest-award-is-ready\">The new Steemfest³ Award is ready!</a></td></tr><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/i06trehc\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://ipfs.io/ipfs/QmU34ZrY632FFKQ1vbrkSM27VcnsjQdtXPynfMrpxDFJcF\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemfest/@steemitboard/i06trehc\">Be ready for the next contest!</a></td></tr></table>\n\n> Support [SteemitBoard's project](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)! **[Vote for its witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1)** and **get one more award**!",
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      "body": "We don't speak anymore in America.\n\n\n\nI cannot say that I am young anymore. \nI cannot say I have the time to spare anymore\nI do not have time for bubble gum conversation.\nI want conversations that make you pace around the square footage surrounding you.\nI want you to listen to sounds you hear when the power goes out.\nI don't care who you are. \nIf you fill the silent air with honest responses\n\nI don't have anymore time left for the television. \nI don't have time left anymore for politics as usual. \nI have to take the risk of being real. \nI never just fell in line with anything in my entire life. \nI do not see any logic in starting a zombie life.\n\nChange doesn't start from the top. \nIt is those people at the top who will tell it can never be done. \nIt is those people who will lie to you. \nIt is those people who will tell you are crazy.\nIt is those people who will tell you are stupid. \nIt is those people who will tell you to take a pill for your bad mood. \nI don't have time for those people. \n-for those without real thought. -for those who do not give a shit about shit\n\nI don't have the time left to be quiet.\nYou've always been suspicious of me being quiet\n\n\nI do not have time for your complaints. \n\n\nEverybody hears you.\n\nIt's like a constant high pitched whine of white noise\n\n\n\nI will not apologize that I interrupt your Facebook news-feed with something other than a repost or a funny gif.\nI live here. \nIn a country that doesn't hold themselves accountable anymore for actions across the globe.\nThe figure heads lie to us. \nThey have made it clear in the last year that they do not care about us. Hell the last 50 years they've made that clear.\n\nI do not have time to vote for a corporate Democrat. \nI do not stand with a political party that turns a blind eye to fraud.\nI do not stand with those who believe a reality star can make America great again.\nI will not vote for Trump or Clinton. \nI will not be okay with more of the same charade.\n\nI am not okay with the state of our Democracy. \nI do not call myself a proud American as a result of the above.\nI do not believe we should promote democracy across the globe when we have no idea what it means in our own country.\n\nCorporations and big money donors don't give a fuck about you or I.\nThey don't give a fuck if you are a Democrat or a Republican, Independent, Green, Libertarian or a No party voter.\nThe only thing big money cares about is keeping us apart.\nIn trivial little spats. \nIf we stay divided\nEvil wins.\n\n\n\nI will leave you with two questions.\n\n\n\n\n\nHow are you getting fucked? \nWho do you blame?\n\n\n\n\n\n-K.S-8/5/16-",
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