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      "body": "She still isn't doing the greatest. I've been torn. No matter how much productive things I pound at my day I still feel like I'm not doing enough or nothing I am doing is good enough. I've been to stressed out about my mom I still don't know how to navigate it. However, she keeps going into and out of hospitals :( We will see if things can get better. Thank you!",
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      "body": "<center>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmem5njtJzeoVmvzzUTWBg9x1cY6BzjDdXPX6Q9hzjTBYW/10620322_759207390793036_2514392576862446357_o.jpg\n</center>\n\n\n<p>Up until school started for me, I had always been my mother's lamb. Everywhere my mother Mary went, I would always follow. When I began school at the age of five, it was a slow death for me. I felt abandoned. I was scared my mother would not pick me up from school and forget about me. One day in kindergarten, Mrs. Sands finally finished ringing the bell to let us know it was time for recess. She urged us to hurry up, run along, and play with each other. I waited on the carpet of rainbow colored squares. That day, the square I was told to sit on was green, my mom's favorite color. I had eyed the room carefully. Once everyone ran out of the classroom, I got up, and followed slowly behind them. The day was grey, cloudy, no sunshine was out, and the lack of light made me feel even more lonely.</p>\n<p>Kindergarten was a stranger to me. No one wanted to play or share animal crackers with me. I looked around the playground for someone to play with. <em>Maybe I'd make a new friend today</em>. I didn't. Everyone was already teamed up playing handball, hopscotch, and jump rope with one another. I was the odd one out again. I began running over to the monkey bars. No one ever bothered with the monkey bars. No one liked the blisters you'd get the next day. I didn't mind the blisters. Swinging forward, side to side from the bars helped me forget I was alone. It was also right next to the fence where I would see my mom. She would visit me during recess. It was her way of calming my insecurities and anxiety by having her see me during play time.</p>\n<p>Immediately, I arrived at the monkey bars. I started jumping with my Powerpuff Girls sneakers on the black mat. The mat was squishy, soft, and kind of bouncy. It felt nice. I liked the texture it made me feel when I walked all over it. I glanced around once more and as usual no one was here. I was hoping someone would be though. Eventually, I began swinging side to side on the bars like a monkey deep in a lush congo. I was a free and wild one not like the gorillas or monkeys at the zoo. I was in an imaginary hot pursuit. I was wild and ready for victory, prepared to beat my fists onto my chest, and fight for the best banana tree.</p>\n<p>Suddenly, I was taken out of the Congo, \"Raquelita.\" My mother's sweet voice called me back to reality. I glanced over to the left, still hanging from the bar, confirming it was my mom, and not just me imagining hearing her. I jumped down, grinned, and ran to the corner of the fence to greet her, \"Hi mommy.\" She smiled and put her left hand through the fence hole. I held onto her hand. She was wearing a black leather trench coat, black boots, and had a bag hanging from her right arm. \"Are you hungry sweetie?\" she asked me. I stomped my feet around, while holding her hand, and said, \"Yes mommy. I'm so hungry. I hate the food here.\"</p>\n<p>A tear hung out of my left eye but she didn't notice. \"Good I cooked you lunch. I also brought you a treat. First things first though, you need to eat your food before I give you candy,\" she told me softly and tucked back in her hand from the fence hole. She pulled out from the bag a small Tupperware that would fit through the fence hole. \"I made you chicken soup.\" she told me and passed me the Tupperware and a spoon.</p>\n<p>Finally, it was my time to eat with joy, and within minutes, I finished eating. I handed my mom back the Tupperware. She handed me white napkins and wiped my mouth. I inched closer so she can reach the stains on the corner of my mouth. \"You were hungry! Look at you finishing up so quickly. Good girl. You ate all the vegetables too.\" My mother smiled and handed me a Tweety lollipop. \"Thanks mommy I love you!\" I yelled happily and danced around in a circle. I pulled out the wrapper, put the trash in my purple sweat pants' pocket, and plopped the sucker in my mouth.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>The bell rang, recess was over, and my mother smiled and told me, \"I'll see you after school. I love you. Run along to class now. Don't be late.\" I nodded, waved goodbye, and ran back to class with the sucker still in my mouth. When I started getting used to school she had to stop visiting. I never got hungry anymore after she stopped coming to see me. My mom began packing lunches for me to take to school sometimes I wouldn't eat them. When I would my teachers would heat them up in their microwave for me when I asked. I never did get any friends. I didn't mind not having them though. If I ever started to feel a little lonely, I always had the monkey bars, and the congo to play with. I understood that at home, my mom who was my best friend was waiting for me. That's all that mattered to me getting back home to be with her.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><br></p>",
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      "title": "",
      "body": "I think managing this depends upon how much you know the person(s) & their unpredictability, that major events can change personality completely (especially when at a late age); especially when not knowing how they will react to a situation even after years. (& when phrasing hurting replies not intended)\n\nPerhaps tips cannot be given universally except what you have already listed. Hope your mother recovers from the relapse and that you both can weather through future difficulties!\n :)",
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      "author": "camposmusing",
      "permlink": "let-s-talk-mental-health-being-a-caregiver-to-a-mentally-ill-mother",
      "title": "Let's Talk Mental Health: Being a Caregiver to a Mentally Ill Mother",
      "body": "<h1>Being a Caregiver to a Mentally Ill Mother &nbsp;</h1>\n<center>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmVcgNbkCoRYbsaxJELToKN3gvGKUuoMJgNvgrYgKtv4AE/17264411_1273005679413202_7316967096831048477_n.jpg\n</center>\n<br>\n<p>My mother had a mental relapse Wednesday. She's had two in less than two years. I was not as surprised as I thought I would be, but my heart felt devastated. About a month ago I had her visit me for three weeks. I had this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. I could not shake it off. Something intuitively within me questioned whether this would be the last normal time I would have with her. Normal as in her mentally stable. I didn't feel confident about that possibility. I was afraid of her derailing from stability.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>During her first mental lapse I was able to be her caregiver for about 6 months. I would cook and clean for her, schedule her appointments to the psychiatrist, fight with insurances when sorting out getting copies of her CT scans, take her to appointments, and so on. It was rough, and it was not a fun period in my life. I started balding from the top of my head and my hair thinned out from stress. The moment I needed some support from friends was the instant I became invisible. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>No one knew how to approach me when it came to be talking about mental health, my mother, or how was I doing. It was pretty disheartening seeing \"close friends\" just filter out what I was living through and dismissed my need for normal. In the mist of being a caregiver my friends forgot that I was still human. I was perfectly okay with an ice cream day talking about the insignificant musings of our day to day life. To say the least: a lot of my \"friends\" decided to only give me \"I'm sorry you're going through that, ....\" then shut the topic off by avoiding me completely. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>Instead of giving me company they threw little pity emoji hearts on my status updates. I made those updates to keep my mom's family updated. With social media it is easier to communicate to everyone at once when you have relatives in another country. Seeing their fake digital support; after me asking if they had time in their schedule to put me down for a cup of coffee, and being told they didn't have time was gross. I ended up unfriending a lot of people. Some which I no longer talk to today due to irreconcilable differences. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>I couldn't be my mother's caregiver any longer due to the physical toll it was taking on me. By the 7th almost going on to the 8th month I had to stop. Not just that but I had recently gotten married. I was about to move out of town and live 100 miles away. &nbsp;At that point my father had to pick up the role while juggling being the only one working. He wasn't well suited for it. He lacked the strictness in holding consistency and not letting my mother get it her way when it came to: appointments, her not taking her psychotropic drugs, eating, and coaching her to delete that negative mental health stigma she had about herself.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>I was able to emotionally support and coach him on how to be a caregiver, manage appointments, and a proper medicine routine and diet for a while through calls, but he lacked the effort to give it his all. I don't blame him. My mother mentally unstable is mean. She throws things at you, yells at you, threatens you, and then deals with her schizophrenia out loud. All this batter up and make a mental fog in your own perspective of life. When someone has a mental illness in the family everyone suffers when they're not stable.&nbsp;</p>\n<h2>What was it like taking care of my mentally ill mother?&nbsp;</h2>\n<p>It was near the end of Summer in 2016. I had gotten married in July, but my husband had flown to the East Coast to finish his military occupational school training for the United States Marine Corps. I had been juggling a part time editing job for a grass roots poetry magazine, going to school by doing rapid 8-week courses, and hosting an open-mic at my local bookstore once a month. I was keeping busy. My husband was gone, and it helped pass the time by pounding away at activities. I knew after my husband would come back: we'd be living together in his first duty station in privatized military housing on base. &nbsp;I was working on my editing job pushing through reading poetry submissions before a deadline. I got interrupted from my pace when my father called me. He had told me that my mother wasn't feeling good. He asked if I could visit her to check up on her. If she was feeling terrible he asked if I could take her to the hospital. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>I had a challenge I still haven't overcome. Thankfully to the innovating advancement in technology and apps (mostly human kindness) I am aided in passing that challenge. You see, I don't know how to drive. I have successfully gotten my driving permit but not having immediate family members to help teach me ended in it expiring. Also, the fact that at the time my permit was in effect I couldn't afford driving school. I was back to bus commutes and requesting Uber rides. I requested an Uber and went home. I found my mom in a distraught mess. She had difficulty breathing, was dizzy, and was in a sheer state of disorientation. I had called another Uber and we took off to the hospital. My family is low income they make less than $12,000 a year. They can't afford a $400 ambulance ride, I can easily take her with Uber for $3.00 - $6.00, and get her there at the same time they would have. Her home is so close to the hospital too.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>She had been sick since the previous day. The weight of that sickness she felt didn't reach her until she was in the hospital. Rightfully so, because after she was admitted she was diagnosed to having a seizure. Her brain was having mini seizures the previous day. Now she was going into a thread mess of small ones at the hospital. They were causing her to convulse, feel disoriented, and have slight memory loss. Seeing her after they controlled her attacks, and after when she woke up realizing she was put to sleep with medicinal aid was the worst, because it was the first time I saw my mother in such a state. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>My mother looked like a scared baby rat cornered and caught by a trap. She was at a loss, scared, and fearful of every sensation, as well as everyone. This included not only the medical staff but me and my father. Due to the severity of her problem she had to be transferred to another hospital. The hospital she was in did not have a full-time radiology department, neuro-specialist, or a psychiatrist. They took her in an ambulance there and my father and I drove to her. &nbsp;</p>\n<h2>Things took a turn for the worse my mother was having spurts where she would forget who I was: her daughter.&nbsp;</h2>\n<center>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmWQwi1ftmxvVLHWPZpy5EX1jRFzvdPxWTa6tQJdMFW8zm/11148527_832209643492810_3222207924009808401_o.jpg\n</center>\n<p>I was sleeping under her feet on her hospital bed. I'm small enough to fit in that small crevice of space. Suddenly, my mom woke up. I heard her gasping and then mumbling in terror. She didn't know who I was. She pushed the panic button to get a nurse’s aide. She then kicked me off the bed. She proceeded to get up with her IV fluids still attached to her, shoved me away, and asked \"Who are you? What are you doing here? Get away from me. Nurse!\" &nbsp;She then in complete fear walked down the hallway asking for help. The nurses came and were confused at my mom's outbreak of questioning; what I the \"intruder\" was doing sleeping under her feet. The nurse knew I was the daughter. He quickly noticed something was wrong. I had to be separated from my mother for a bit until she calmed down and was able to recollect her memory. Thankfully she did.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>I felt like garbage. It was one thing seeing my mom this ill but another thing living through her not knowing who I was. It was a backhand and an insult to me. It really ruined my balance. I wanted to be close enough to watch over her at the hospital, but at the same time there were instances where I couldn't be close, because she would forget who I was. I spent a week at the hospital with her. I was there with her when I was able to and that was when she wouldn't forget me. They would have a spare guest bed for me with a curtain divider between us. That way if she woke up and didn't know who I was again, the curtain gave the appearance that I was just another patient, and I so happened to be sharing a room with her in the hospital. &nbsp;Eventually after a week she was able to get released. She was put on medicine for her heart, brain, and thyroid.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Two days later in the process of picking up her last prescription order at Rite-Aid my mother had another mental relapse. As my dad was helping her get into the car I was getting ready to hop into the passenger seat, my mother suddenly didn't know who my father was (that was a first), or who I was. She pushed him and then started running down the street aimlessly with no caution to the vehicles around her. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>I chased after her and in the process of grabbing her hand she shoved me. She shoved me so hard I nearly fell onto the pavement. She was about to sprint, so I bear hugged from behind. In that moment she kept elbowing my rib cage as hard as she could. My dad caught up with the car. We put her in the backseat and locked the doors (with the child safety function) so she wouldn't jump out. &nbsp;This was the first time we had to deal with mental illness: the rawness of it. We didn't know what to do.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>We continued to Rite-Aid to pick up the prescription because she really needed it. However, on our way there my mom kept a steady mumble of \"I need to give the police my wallet. I need to give the police the wallet. At the police station. They need my wallet with my ID, so they can tell me who I am.\" When we opened the car doors she made a sprint to Rite-Aid. She ended up causing a commotion and telling the employees to call the cops because she didn't know who we were. She said we were persecuting her. I ended up explaining to them she just had a seizure and it was my mom. They nodded and told me to take her to a corner of the store where she wouldn't disturb the other customers. Then they proceeded to tell me they were by policy required to call the cops. I told them that was fine I was going to pick up her prescription in the meantime. The cops came, and they sorted the mess out. It took 45 minutes to calm her down, the ambulance came they took her vitals, she was then asked if she wanted to go in the ambulance to the hospital again, or with us (her husband and daughter). Miraculously she then recalled us again and we drove her back to the hospital.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>My mom had to stay in the hospital another three days again. I stayed by her side again under the same circumstances I had mentioned before. I wasn't sick of the hospital food though. They offer a lot of healthy dishes for people to buy. &nbsp;My mother ended up getting a referral to a mental health clinic to begin getting stabilize and diagnosed properly.&nbsp;</p>\n<h2>Her final diagnosis ended up being late adult schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and clinical depression.&nbsp;</h2>\n<p>The challenge was getting her stable. Hard wiring a balance in her brain with psychotropic drugs. She was too unstable. Being her caregiver at this point began getting exhausting. I had to quit my semester in school and missed the chances to drop without a W and petition to get the W removed. I didn't care though. My priority was getting my mom into treatment, getting her stable, and putting her on routine medicine for her disorders. &nbsp;During her adapting to these new challenges in her life she would still forget who I was from time to time. In the process of her forgetting who I was she would yell at me to get out of her house, spit her medicine at me, hit me (not significantly hard enough because she's 53 and I was 22), and her schizophrenia would be too much for me to handle.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>At times she would threaten to poison my food with bleach, so we could die together. Or she would question whether I was pouring poison in her food. &nbsp;There were instances where she would leave the house while I was sleeping during the night and I would wake up at 6 in the morning to find her gone. I would rush outside to look for her. Walking the streets in panic looking at every corner. Every time she would do this she would be in the same spot. Waiting by sitting down at the local city bus bench. That was only two blocks from her apartment. I would ask what was she doing and she would always reply, \"I'm waiting for my family. I'm waiting for Raul, Gabriel (her son, my half-brother), Raquel (me), Joshua and Rebecca (her grandkids).\" Each time I would have to tell her that I was here. It would take 20-30 minutes of pleading to get her back into her house. &nbsp;I was tired. I was put in a complicated situation. I'm the youngest child. While my half-brother is almost 11 years older than me. The youngest taking care of her mother while he just didn't care. I was starting to feel resentful, angry, and upset. I didn't have time to be getting the short end of the stick. &nbsp;</p>\n<h2>The past crept up: I couldn't do this caregiver routine anymore. I wanted to move on in my life. I wanted to be happy.&nbsp;</h2>\n<p>At the age of 18 I saw my half-brother physically punch my mom, pull on her hair, and slam her head against the wall. I had made a comment that hurt his ego. My mom got in the way, so he wouldn't easily lunge his fist at me. He had never hurt me before. He had always tried. Hiding behind locked doors always saved me. This time in a hallway I didn't have much room for resistance. I reacted quickly as his fists were flying in the air nearing my face. I took out my mace and I maced him with pepper spray. I maced him until he stopped.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>My nephew was outside in the yard playing with his ball. My niece was far away in her room with her door closed. My half-brother wouldn't let go of my mother's hair while he attempted to punch me. So, I did what I had to do to defend myself then called 9-1-1. &nbsp;A whole mess ensued. Her son tried blaming me and lied saying I was trying to mace his kids.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Long story short: the officers believed me. I had just graduated high school as valedictorian and I explained to them the argument. After talking to my half-brother, they realized this guy was twisted. He was nuts he openly expressed hatred, jealousy, and annoyance towards my entire existence.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>They had been called before. When I was 17 he was high off weed, cocaine, and drunk he tried cutting/stabbing me with a box cutter. I had to lock myself in my room he stabbed at the door. I pushed the bed against the door and started tying my bed sheets together to be able to climb down my second-floor window. Pretty messed up right? I managed to run across the street to a local Jack in The Box and call the police for help. The ultimate order that had to be pushed by the police was: who gets to stay in the house because it is obvious my half-brother and me can’t live together. It had to be decided right away. One of us had to leave that same day if not my niece and nephew would be removed from our home.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>My mom decided to choose my half-brother and my niece and nephew. Her logic was that it is easier to place a single female in another living situation than a family with kids. It broke my heart. I cried. I was disregarded. They didn’t help me find a new living situation. My husband’s family ended up taking me in. For awhile I was homeless though. My parents mainly my dad didn’t start helping me until four months later, after I had been kicked out, and he would give me $150 per month. This I would give to my husband’s family for rent to pitch in for the gas, electricity, and water I used.&nbsp;</p>\n<h2>No One Wanted to Be Responsible During Her First Relapse.&nbsp;</h2>\n<center>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmQjzTvFonmQSUCBy49ndz2A6jXK89uH3GUDMkM6gKbWKU/11262227_834606499919791_7778933423080799502_o.jpg\n</center>\n<p>I was beating a dead horse and I could not do as much as I could. I haven’t lived with my parents since I was 18. My half-brother still lives with them with his girlfriend, my nephew, and niece. When my mom got mentally sick his baby momma started attacking my mom: physically locking her in her room, taking food away from her fridge so she had nothing to make, and openly calling my mother crazy and laughing. This was during her first relapse. I was pissed so I told my dad ... \"my mom has human rights especially now that she is in a mental health clinic, tell her to stop picking on my mom, because if she doesn’t she can go to jail for abuse. If you don’t say anything to her I will tell the mental health clinic.\" I told the mental health clinic she got a warning from then on, she stopped. The problem was I was moving. I pushed and stayed as a support through out her clinic treatment. I had to give notice to them I was about to move in a week. My mom was stable enough to sign herself out of her treatment plan from the mental health clinic. So legally they had to let her go.&nbsp;</p>\n<h1>Here we are present day: my mom had a mental health crisis relapse again.</h1>\n<p>I'm 115 miles away from her and my father. I can't physically be there at the moment to help out because I have my own health appointments to follow up on. I have to take care of myself right now. I'm trying to see if I can get the power of attorney for my mom. I want to put her on mental disorder disability as she is seen and on medicine for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and clinical depression. I'm trying to square all of that away but my dad isn't being too helpful. He's lazy, he lags, and he is not responsible. She was issued Seroquel a count of 30 days until she can see her psychiatrist and begin treatment again last week Wednesday but my dad didn't pick it up until Sunday. Which is yesterday, because he was lazy.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>It's so frustrating. Also Saturday was disheartening, my father drove 110 miles because my mom wanted to see me, and my mom came to see me and she gave me a Rosca to celebrate \"Dia De Los Reyes\" which was 1/6/17. She met up with me only to want to leave right away. I only saw her for 5 minutes. She hugged me and shook my hand over and over then said bye. My dad and her drove back to Los Angeles from Oceanside. Yesterday she called me at 8:10 P.M. very confused. Sunday was her first day of medicine routine again. She openly expressed to me how she thought it was Tuesday morning. She and my father were on a late night walk but her in her mind really thought it was morning, Tuesday, and 8:10 A.M. despite the darkness. On the phone she was so off. Then she asked me when am I going to come see her or when can she see me. I had told her we just saw each other Saturday briefly. She then panicked, broke down, and denied it. She repeated over and over that no we didn't see each other Saturday. I haven't seen you at all. I haven't seen you in three weeks. I didn't see you. Which in turn ended up hurting me. She then hung up on me after calling me a betraying liar.&nbsp;</p>\n<h2>Do any of you know how to deal with this? Have any of you experienced anything similar with your family members? What tips do you suggest?</h2>\n<p>At this point, I could use any support in comments. Have you experienced any family member with schizophrenia? Bipolar disorder? Clinical depression? How do you still keep a relationship with them? What are things you have learned along the way to make you have a healthy mental balance while loving a mentally ill loved one? How do you encourage your loved one or even yourself to stay on medicine routines?</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<center>\n<h1>Other Mental Health Articles I've Written:&nbsp;</h1>\n<p><a href=\"https://steemit.com/life/@camposmusing/battling-depression-during-high-school-what-helps-overcome-it\">Battling Depression During High School: What Helps Overcome It?</a></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><br></p>\n\n<b>Thank you for your upvotes, comments, tips, support, and for reading. I appreciate you. </center></b>",
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      "body": "wonderful family pogram... good post.. thanks for sharing",
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      "title": "New Year: Living Together With Your Significant Other & Growing Tradition",
      "body": "<html>\n<p>Are you currently living with your significant other? Do you two rent an apartment together, are living with his/her parents, or rent a room, or a home with one another? Are you wondering what can you do to make your romance continue to grow now that you live together? It's the start of a new year. Maybe 2018 is a journey where you find yourselves finally living together. Congratulations!&nbsp;</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><strong>Whether you want to:&nbsp;</strong></p>\n<ol>\n  <li>take a step into honing traditions with your significant other, or&nbsp;</li>\n  <li>want to revitalize the sense of seeding the value of family in your home, or</li>\n  <li>are here to vicariously read &amp; day dream of this stage in life, welcome friend.<br>\n<br>\n<em>Come read and chat with me after in the comments below.</em></li>\n</ol>\n<h2>Traditions Matter: Create Your Own Together</h2>\n<center>\n<br>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmQRQq3Bd5oTCNN6n5drnE8QNcsJTg95gyF9RubRhq54jb/26510656_342720079542554_1842340850_o.jpg\n<br>\n</center>\n<p>Did you grow up in a dysfunctional family where traditions weren't celebrated? Holidays such as Easter, Independence Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas were a tradition you never took part in while growing up with your family? Don't fret! I was in the same boat.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>I didn't decorate my first Christmas tree until my high school best friend invited me to join her family in picking out a tree, decorating the tree, and putting the angel on top with her sisters when I was 15 years old. After that I never relived that experience again until I moved in with my spouse (who was my boyfriend at the time). My husband's family values traditions and they celebrated every holiday as he grew up. Mine never did but I always really wanted to. Moving in together was a perfect fit.</p>\n<p>Why do I believe traditions are important? They create a fixed time that happens once a year where you have space to bond and grow with your significant other. This you do on an every basis but Holidays create a theme, a concept to revisit (lessons), and so on.</p>\n<h2>Where do you start? How can you start?&nbsp;</h2>\n<p>Are you a bit shy creating traditions and need some ideas? I want to happily share a 2017 year in review of how we decorated our home during the holidays. Specifically for Thanksgiving and Christmas.&nbsp;</p>\n<h2>You can decorate while still on a budget!</h2>\n<p>This year my husband was too occupied with work to be able to go with me to get a fresh pine tree. I ended up going to Walmart and buying a fake tree. I took advantage of the rollback they had at my local Walmart and got a 6 foot and 5 inches tall white tree (with no lights) for $40 (instead of $80). I didn't set up my tree until December 5th. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>I got my ornaments at a local thrift store: they were way cheaper that way than buying them new at the store. I got ribbon at Dollar Tree (silver with glitter) to wrap around the tree. I opted out of lights because we dealt with the #lilacfire so I passed just to be safe. Since we were on a budget this holiday season I didn't buy an angel to put on top. They were $16-$20. Instead I got a 99 cent Christmas hat and plopped it right on top of the tree. <br>\n<br>\n<center>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmV3dcPUrhbt8TumWguEPYX9aFwBVPYuR4KirgfLpECLem/26540577_342720059542556_834799278_o.jpg\n</center>\n<br>\n\nMy table cloths and dish sets also came from a local thrift store. I looked way in advance to buy them though. I actually bought this dish set in February 2017. I got 4 main plates, 4 small plates, and 4 soup plates for $6.00. Not bad? Since the color is red it works well for Valentine's Day and Christmas. The table cloths were a total of $3.50 for all three.&nbsp;</p>\n<h2>In The Spirit of Tradition: Don't Forget Your Neighbors</h2>\n<br>\n<center>\n<br>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmXAYUWsjrkESyKZgnbRdc1fNkD1Ap8c2wobkYrSYGJJKX/26540278_342720056209223_1449608565_o.jpg\n<br>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmYCt7NPZB8ujGNsWZzt6yX3xqiygNaH9WUqKQ8rsvnQB3/26543673_342720032875892_1255881933_o.jpg\n<br>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmcaVR8imYQ9PfaUWDvrbFj23x6UJQ8qTHUNH1nFz5BmJp/26542949_342720062875889_1509125811_o.jpg\n<br>\n</center>\n<p>I ended up baking cookies from scratch for my neighbors and gifted them with a box of a dozen each December 1st. It's a nice way of saying hello to those who live among you. A great way to establish a sense of community and a motivation to neighborhood watch each other's house. Pinterest is the way to go when you want to make cookies from scratch.</p>\n<h2>Thanksgiving Table Setup&nbsp;</h2>\n<br>\n<center>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmY7oBMtUsyk35Wp632FsSDEmh3DMyvmQ3KKrm31NpZWgY/26514052_342720046209224_1261182053_o.jpg\n</center>\n<p>When you move in together sometimes people might want to gift you housewarming gifts whether you host a party or not. Ask family and friends for household items. You'll need them when you first move in together. I got these dishes and cups from my parents. All the other little stuff on the table are thrift store finds that were all for a total of under $10.</p>\n<p>Now my husband's mother is not the best at making a turkey, it always comes out dry, but at least she sticks to the concept. I like getting Albertsons prepared Thanksgiving Meals. All you got to do is thaw out your fully cooked turkey and toss it in the oven. That's what I did 2017. If you don't know how to marinate and prepare a turkey it's fine! Look into your local grocery to see if they sell prepared holiday meals. Usually they are between $45 - $65. Not too bad.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<br>\n<center>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmXbp5Rr42ELLaZs8fsWBH2UuorY84sKKCtBuPfSznCfpP/26653503_342720082875887_1429779342_o.jpg\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmNU44rfzcu45EEL58GJGXe66eSPxpRSaJyQjq1RRJ986R/26511077_342720036209225_2107301540_o.jpg\n</center>\n\n<h2>What do you think? Do you agree that growing tradition in your home is important when living with your significant other? What are your plans to do together and celebrate this 2018 year?&nbsp;</h2>\n<p>I personally feel that romance pops up naturally when you take the time to decorate your home to fit the theme of the holiday. It's a perk for you and your spouse. A change of environment that's not only healthy but positive.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<h1>Happy New Year, Friends!</h1>\n<p>My cats loved the holidays with us. Surprisingly they didn't knock down the Christmas tree this year. This is Bunta and Lil D'. Our fur babies. They actually like snuggling and holding paws when they nap on the couch. It's so cute. Just wanted to share this picture with you.<br>\n<br>\n<center>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmZbYCf5dwc1C3xYrP4wCj2zxfcZAX4zzyoVFYLe7SgoHm/26610033_342720066209222_778381151_o.jpg\n</center>\n</p>\n<p>Other Relationship Articles Written By @camposmusing</p>\n<p><a href=\"https://steemit.com/relationships/@camposmusing/military-marriage-marrying-someone-in-the-military-don-t-be-another-divorce-statistic\">Military Marriage: Marrying Someone in The Military&nbsp;</a></p>\n<h2><br></h2>\n</html>",
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      "body": "Gosh, I love your pantry. So precious that you get to always have an adventure to pull out from your current stock and bring to life some creative dishes. I am in love with your lifestyle. I appreciate you sharing with us! I totally dig this. My husband is going to go on his first game meat hunt this year. So I can't wait to store away whatever he brings to use through out the year. Much love! Happy New Year!",
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      "title": "Play! by Sephora: Should You Play?",
      "body": "<h1><br></h1>\n\n<center>\n<br><br>\n![25637154_338306656650563_185068425_o.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmXNtmiJSzEg6DeWFpZ6pGJAaLkLnvw1pX5uf4F5ic57mk/25637154_338306656650563_185068425_o.png)\n<br><br>\n![25673400_338306663317229_185918212_o.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmYczmVQKJtpB4heM4LG3cg5Y7qE5wgaw3HpE7Det7F2Dw/25673400_338306663317229_185918212_o.png)\n</center>\n\n<p>I have to be honest. I don't frequent the latest makeup trends or keep up to date with them. This is why in the middle of 2017 year I've been purchasing beauty subscription boxes. I want to see what's new and what to spend my money on when buying full size products. Beauty subscriptions make that quest easier and convenient since it's delivered right to my mailbox. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Doing make up subscriptions for 5 months made me come to terms with a few things. I have grown to realize the makeup industry is drastically declining in consumer popularity. There comes a point when you analyze new launches of make up are no longer innovating. They are a desperate attempt for companies to stay relevant and target all audiences into a net profiting pool. Beauty bloggers influence the social media market to give certain brands hype. The illusion of \"everyone wants it\" is painted and it can be easy to get lost.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><strong>The purpose of make up is to find your own unique timeless beauty look not to spend and waste money fitting in a molded trend. Trends that are suddenly ruled out of date by a quarterly Instagram popularity contest.</strong></p>\n<p>From a consumer point of view who was eye balling Black Friday this year the beauty market did terrible. Black Friday offers had to be extended by a week from the calendar schedule. Prior Black Friday promotions were given to count down to Black Friday just to ensure successful revenue.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>In my opinion many makeup companies failed miserably achieving their target revenue in sales for Black Friday. It goes to show, no, everything is not great in our economy, because a lot of us aren't able to buy items outside of what we need to survive on a month to month basis.</p>\n<h3><em>It's time to crack down on whether you should play with PLAY! by Sephora or not.</em></h3>\n<h1>Beauty Subscription 411: Play! by Sephora</h1>\n<p>I had bought a stock pile of the basic necessities in makeup a year ago in the Spring of July 2016. I checked out eyeliner, foundation, concealer, powder, primer, a soft rose pink lipstick, and a single eye shadow from Sephora in Montebello, CA. I spent $185. Along the way I got drugstore makeup like mascara and such that ended up to me spending $235 in the 2016 year.</p>\n<p><strong>Where was my money going aside from make up in 2016?&nbsp;</strong></p>\n<p>I was actively involved in the Los Angeles and Long Beach poetry community and lit scene. I was hosting an open-mic called \"Moon Pixel\" at Half Off Books in Whittier, CA, featuring at events in Long Beach (or Los Angeles), and going out to eat with fellow friends (or poets) I wanted to get to know better. Essentially my money went back into the whole idea of \"paying your dues\" purchasing books, CDs from local musicians, and buying tickets to local lit events. I blew about $600 (this doesn't include money eating out) doing that in the 2016 year. Did \"paying your dues\" bring my money back into people \"paying their dues\" and supporting my medium (poetry)? No. After kicking the can around too much in that scene since 2011 I decided to quit on it in 2016. More on that in another upcoming article that'll dive into what not to do when going into a local lit scene.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><strong>Learn how to detect the emotional differences felt when you are spending your money.</strong></p>\n<p>I'm bringing this up because I wanted to make a point. Was I happy that I spent $235 in make up the 2016 year? Did it make me as a happy as the $600 I spent in my community helping other artists? No. Spending my $235 in make up was saddening.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>A lady has to doll up though. I don't find that a chore. I like that feminine allure we get to carry because we're born a woman. Make up is a tool to amplify that expression of mystique. It is a privilege many now a days disregarded. Yet there has to be a limit to everything. If I had spent more than what I was comfortable spending (the bare minimum requirement) in make up; I would have been feeding my ego instead of focusing on other important things.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>What I'm saying is make up is a tool but don't let it blind you. I saw this meme in Spanish pictured below and it hit the nail. It says, \"Don't call beauty what you can easily wipe off with a wet wipe.\" Make up is a tricky little thing isn't it. You can inflate your ego so quickly with it. But if you use it right your confidence gets a healthy perk of higher self-esteem.&nbsp;</p>\n<center>\n<br><br>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmdBLAgZRv7H8z9xWEmUWQZ51WNPEjV1HAQU6gvw1yPACh/7a2aa7530c9b2b31f6681d7b4a769b8b.jpg\n</center>\n\n<h2>Should you Play! by Sephora? &nbsp;</h2>\n<p><br></p>\n<br>\n<center>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmPZgLynPBFg2vPj7STmfJqfuzdSjq6yN63Zaz8CDiAzjX/25673202_338306683317227_749196355_o.jpg\n<br>\n</center>\n<br>\n<p>Is this beauty subscription box worth it? Essentially I consumed one monthly subscription from Play! by Sephora and that was for this December 2017 box. That was a total of $10.78. I noted some things right away that made me realize that this beauty subscription isn't as useful as you think. What was included in my box this month?</p>\n<p>A Make Up For Ever Artist Rouge (sample-sized) Lipstick I got in the color: C207 (full size retails for $22), Laura Mercier Caviar Stick Eye Colour (sample-sized) in the color Au Naturel (full size retails for $29), Drybar Triple Sec 3-in-1 (sample size) 0.35OZ (full size retails for $26), Clinique Pretty Easy Liquid Eyelining Pen (deluxe sample size) Color: 01 Black (full size retails for $21), Cover FX Custom Enhancer Drops (sample size) color: Moonlight (full size retails for $42), and a bonus perfume sample of Yves Saint Laurent Mon Paris Eau De Parfum (full size retails for $92).&nbsp;</p>\n<h1>The Break Down</h1>\n<p>These samples are name brand and that is always a perk instead of getting some indie make up brand. If you're a person who cares more for name brand products then get this box. The problem is these samples aren't that special aside from being name brand.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>If you frequently accumulate points by buying products through Sephora you can exchange your points easily for these kinds of samples. The only difference is you get to choose what you want to exchange them for and the select samples to redeem differ each month. So you're kind of getting ripped off paying $10.78 a month if you're a VIB or Rouge Insider with Sephora.</p>\n<p>I'm only a Sephora Insider because I didn't spend $215 more dollars this calendar year with them to become a VIB. I have recently accumulated 375 points to redeem on a point product of my choice in my next purchase. Which is why this beauty subscription box felt laughable to me. At least other beauty subscription brands have some unique trait to them. Others don't blatantly showcase how its system can be duped the same way with points you get anyways for buying stuff.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>They do have a play pass that you get in this box. This play pass allows you to get 50 bonus points with any purchase at Sephora before the coupon expires. That's neat if you buy at Sephora a lot. I don't.</p>\n<h1>Your hype is Sephora's profit. You generate free ad revenue with each #hashtag, YouTube unboxing, and Instagram #SephoraPlay you upload.</h1>\n<p>I got a little pamphlet in my box which is customary to get. I noted the back of it which broke down the numbers in the 2017 year for Play! by Sephora.</p>\n<ul>\n  <li>53K+ the number of photos you've shared with #sephoraplay</li>\n  <li>300K+ &nbsp;the total views their unboxing videos got on YouTube</li>\n  <li>California is the state that receives the most boxes 80K Play! subscribers (I'm in CA)</li>\n</ul>\n<p>So we #hashtag #SephoraPlay to be a part of this Insider community. We hype each other up on publicly shared unboxing photos and get to know a new cyber friend we think is fashionable. There's nothing wrong with that.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Let's get down to concrete reality. Wouldn't it be so much better to spend that $10.78 to treating a friend to coffee and talking to him or her? This would generate a much more life long lasting friendship. A physically present life long lasting friendship. Being part of a digital beauty subscription community where you can't physically be present in anyone's life is dull. Especially when you have to pay a monthly fee to feel part of it.</p>\n<h2>Sometimes beauty subscriptions are life changing for those who have never used make up before. That's great! But when you end up having an addiction to make up subscriptions stop and reflect. Is this too much excess? Where else can this money be spent to contribute to other areas of my life positively?&nbsp;</h2>\n<h1>Play! by Sephora December 2017 (Theme: Glam Straight) Review</h1>\n<br>\n<br>\n<center>https://steemitimages.com/DQmajYCst1uoL5LM8mBdskzm3ybGy7eCb5HH3nNEf5YGxJQ/25637152_338306703317225_538834888_o.jpg\n<br>https://steemitimages.com/DQmSGoMj1Ldy5TnxgqAu7sxN5V9t5g9pR1cv4fViRQxHiXo/25674962_338306709983891_1491695737_o.jpg\n<br>https://steemitimages.com/DQmNhgGqfkRiiSaX4iP63tgLYNshmmmnGTSKdN16j6t3rtM/25674638_338306729983889_1349731752_o.jpg\n<br>https://steemitimages.com/DQmTU6AiBqhpPCkwPYZzDzh9rHjPHcmFsAYpga9E4LoqssH/25855511_338306743317221_1837226151_o.jpg\n<br>\n</center>\n<br>\n<p><strong>Make Up For Ever Artist Rouge Cream:</strong> I have to say that I would never buy a full size product at the price it is going for. I'll gladly accept it as a gift. This lipstick is creamy, moisturizing, finely pigmented, and can be duped with any Sephora lipstick. They both carry the same texture and feel on your lips. I definitely would recommend this lipstick for people going through winter in their state. It definitely will moisturize your lips and not dry them out as you are out and about during a cold day.</p>\n<p><strong>Cover FX in Moonlight</strong>: I finally tried out what seems to be the basic essential to every beauty blogger's make up routine. My thoughts? It sucked. It's too glam and not timeless. The tone is pretty. However it's excessive I feel it dilutes from the natural canvas your face was born with: simple beauty (embracing your image and working with what you got) that allows you to create classic looks.</p>\n<p><strong>Laura Mercier Caviar Stick</strong>: This is very creamy and soft in the best way. I think anyone can enjoy this if you have loved in the past baked eye shadows. This is subtle but yet very eye catching due to its texture. I can get behind this. It's kind of a step up from baked eye shadows that can be applied wet or dry. The only difference is the texture and you still achieve that fierce pigment.</p>\n<p><strong>Clinique Pretty Easy Liquid Eyelining Pen</strong>: The felt tip is very skinny and thin. It's different for me since normally my eyeliners don't have such a skinny tip. Is the pigmentation strong? Yes. It is but what eyeliner isn't? Is it long lasting? Yeah, depends on the amount of applications you applied in your lines, but other than that it does seem to be somewhat smudge proof.</p>\n<p><strong>Drybar Triple Sec 3-in-1</strong>: * Did not use this. I am going to give it to my mom. She'll find more use to it then I will. I'm a simple gal I'm okay with Target/Walmart hair sprays or dry shampoos that are under 8 bucks.</p>\n<p><strong>Yves Saint Laurent Mon Paris Eau De Parfum</strong>: * Passing this along to my mom as well. I already have a favorite perfume and I buy it from Jafra.&nbsp;</p>\n<h1>Delivery of Box?</h1>\n<center>\nhttps://steemitimages.com/DQmNMA4QaDHTkabi8YxCZnNRsupQkQf5vxVcwd49sbW523v/25673474_338306669983895_1853058147_o.jpg\n</center>\n<p>Okay, they are great about shipping, and delivery. If a beauty subscription doesn't ship right on time during your first month with them run away (unless they apologized in an e-mail prior to expect delays). It was not stressful getting my box from them. I got it right on time. If that's important to you getting your boxes on time as promised: don't worry, Play! by Sephora won't do you wrong.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<h1>Final Verdict?</h1>\n<p>No, don't Play! by Sephora unless you want name brands every month and don't care about the sizes you receive. I wouldn't even share my referral code for this box. Save your money. Treat yourself to some coffee with a friend.&nbsp;</p>\n<h2>Beauty Subscription Updates:</h2>\n<p><em>What subscriptions am I keeping in 2018?</em>&nbsp;</p>\n<ul>\n  <li>Ipsy!</li>\n  <li>Boxy Charm (currently on the waitlist)</li>\n</ul>\n<p><em>What subscriptions did I cancel in 2017 and am not ringing the new year with?</em></p>\n<ul>\n  <li>Birchbox</li>\n  <li>Play! by Sephora</li>\n</ul>\n<h1>Check out my other beauty articles:</h1>\n<h3><a href=\"https://steemit.com/beauty/@camposmusing/beauty-subscriptions-411-is-ipsy-worthwhile\">Ipsy</a></h3>\n<h3><a href=\"https://steemit.com/beauty/@camposmusing/beauty-subscriptions-411-why-you-shouldn-t-birchbox\">Birchbox</a></h3>\n<h3><a href=\"https://steemit.com/beauty/@camposmusing/colourpop-your-way-down-through-history-let-s-talk-affordable-cruelty-free-beauty\">ColourPop</a></h3>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>P.S. I actually just signed up for \"Book of the Month Club\" and my book for December just shipped out yesterday. I decided for the 2018 year I want to get back into reading. I'll let you know how that subscription goes.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><br></p>",
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