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      "body": "I was reminded today of a frequently misquoted or misattributed aphorism:\n\n\"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.\"\n\nKind thanks to Brian Kernighan for reminding us to stay humble when building.",
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      "author": "steemitboard",
      "body": "Congratulations @calamitous! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@calamitous/birthday1.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 1 year!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@calamitous) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](http://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=calamitous)_</sub>\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/3-years-on-steem-happy-birthday-the-distribution-of-commemorative-badges-has-begun\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://u.cubeupload.com/arcange/BG6u6k.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/3-years-on-steem-happy-birthday-the-distribution-of-commemorative-badges-has-begun\">3 years on Steem - The distribution of commemorative badges has begun!</a></td></tr><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/happy-birthday-the-steem-blockchain-is-running-for-3-years\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://u.cubeupload.com/arcange/BG6u6k.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/happy-birthday-the-steem-blockchain-is-running-for-3-years\">Happy Birthday! The Steem blockchain is running for 3 years.</a></td></tr></table>\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "body": "@@ -393,16 +393,22 @@\n ded out \n+along \n with a p\n@@ -414,20 +414,11 @@\n plea\n-ding warning\n+ to\n  not\n@@ -748,16 +748,56 @@\n   Since \n+we were chronically short of people and \n the cont\n@@ -867,52 +867,11 @@\n _,  \n-and we were chronically short of people, the\n+our\n  rec\n@@ -1043,17 +1043,17 @@\n shoot (%22\n-p\n+P\n ay your \n@@ -1519,17 +1519,17 @@\n tions (%22\n-w\n+W\n hy is my\n@@ -1609,16 +1609,23 @@\n  (%22Click\n+ _just_\n  the OK \n@@ -1744,16 +1744,17 @@\n r day, o\n+u\n r recept\n",
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      "author": "ilovecoding",
      "body": "Hello! Your post has been resteemed and upvoted by @ilovecoding because **we love coding**! Keep up good work! Consider upvoting this comment to support the @ilovecoding and increase your future rewards! ^_^ Steem On! \n ![](https://codingforspeed.com/images/i-love-coding.jpg) \n*Reply !stop to disable the comment. Thanks!*",
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      "author": "calamitous",
      "body": "One of the lessons I've had to learn repeatedly throughout my career is to shut up.  Flapping my jaw has caused me more trouble than any other single fault or failing I have.\n\nOccasionally, though, I get to watch someone else trip over their tongue.\n\nIn the late 90's I worked for a coding chop shop, which perpetually ran on a financial shoestring and a prayer.  Paychecks were regularly handed out with a pleading warning not to cash it before Tuesday, so that it wouldn't bounce.  \n\nIn a bid to bolster our revenue, the owner decided to start reselling dial-up internet service from a local provider.\n\nKids, ask your grandpa about dial-up internet!\n\nPart of the reseller program required that we provide front-line customer support over the phone.  Since the contract didn't say that the front-line support had to be any _good_,  and we were chronically short of people, the receptionist was press-ganged to be our entire support team.\n\nFor her part, she did well enough.  Most of our customer's connection problems were fairly easy to troubleshoot (\"pay your bill\"), and she was able to pick up enough knowledge to do a little technical support as well.\n\nWhat she _didn't_ really pick up on was the Dark Art of Dealing With Difficult Customers.  One customer in particular (there's always the One Guy everybody dreads getting a call from) was especially problematic.  His grasp of the internet, his computer, technology in general, and basic literacy was loose, at best.  He would regularly call with non-internet questions (\"why is my printer squeaking?\"), and had real problems following basic instructions (\"Click the OK button, please\" **sounds of furious clicking and typing over the phone.** \"It gave me an error\").\n\nOne particular day, or receptionist _cum_ support team was struggling to get this fellow back online, and he was being unusually stubborn, or slow, or both.  After a long, mostly fruitless troubleshooting session, he accepted that his connection was as fixed as it was going to get for the interim, and said goodbye.\n\nIn a fit of pique, she slammed the phone down and screamed \"Some people are just too stupid to be on the internet!\"\n\nKids, ask your grandpa about phones with handsets that you could slam down!\n\nThis was not an especially uncommon occurrence; she was a bit too high-strung for support work and frequently felt the need to vent about her more difficult calls, often at volume, and almost exclusively to people who couldn't have cared less (ie. everybody).\n\nAbout 20 minutes after her outburst, a truck rolled into our parking lot.  I call it a truck because that's what it was least unlike, but if there were such a thing as the vehicle equivalent of a natural disaster, this was it.  A man stepped out wearing cowboy boots that were a little too big, a ballcap that was a little too small, and so much dirt you might be forgiven for thinking he was plowing his fields literally with his body.\n\nHe _clumphed_ in through the door and aimed himself at our receptionist.\n\n\"I heard what you said, and I ain't stupid.\"\n\nThe receptionist's face was truly a study in shock, amazement, chagrin, and horror. Truly, I have never seen such confluent perfection of mortification in a single expression, before or since.\n\nWhat she hadn't realized was that our phones were cheap Chinese knock-offs of cheap American business phones, and if you didn't settle them just right in the cradle-- say, by slamming them sloppily down while venting your spleen-- they would sometimes sit in there _just_ cockeyed enough to prevent pressing the disconnect switch fully.  Which meant it would leave the line open.  Which meant that when she screamed about people too stupid to be on the internet, Our Favorite Customer could still hear everything.\n\nShe repeatedly stammered out a sincere apology, offered months off his bill, and generally kowtowed in a manner befitting the the greatest of customer support specialists.  For his part, our grimy client did not raise his voice, nor engage in personal attacks, he only expressed his deep disappointment in our service and his personal offense at our assessment of his intellect.\n\nHis said his piece, which took perhaps five of the longest minutes of our receptionist's life, _clumphed_ back out to his truck, and left, whereupon she burst into tears.  The rest of us socially-inept troglodytes just sat around with our arms hanging out of their sockets, unsure of what to do.\n\nIt is this story which helps me remember that no matter how much I am capable of learning in the realm of technology, I am still an incredibly slow learner; even with such a standout example so early in my career, I have had to repeatedly learn the hard way to just... stop talking.",
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      "body": "In the early 2000s, I was working for a contract shop that did some work for state agencies.  Government and software are a bad combination, not like a peanut butter and pickle sandwich, which somebody could conceivably like, but more like a peanut butter and fingernail clipping sandwich.  Nobody's happy.\n\nOne in particular that sticks out in my  memory was an unnamed department of about 140 people.  We'd signed up to write some software for them, and we were bopping around talking to some of the stakeholders, which is to say, everybody.\n\nWhen they get to see new faces in a government office, everybody from the janitor up is suddenly a stakeholder.\n\nWe came to one lady who actually had some information for us in her Mythical Spreadsheet® (every office has at least one), the repository of all data without which the entire building would probably implode.\n\nShe looked very apologetic when we arrived.\n\n\"Sorry,\" she said.  \"I need some new printer drivers, and I've been told not to do anything until they're installed.\"\n\n\"Oh, no problem!\" my boss gushed.  \"We can do that for you!\"  Always going above and beyond, anything that would get us out of that dingy, dim, cubicle wasteland faster.\n\n\"No,\" she smiled sadly, dropping her eyes.  \"You can't.  It's locked by admin access.\"\n\n\"Oh.  Uh, alright.  No problem, we'll swing back by when things are fixed up.\"\n\n\"When will you be back in town?\"\n\n\"Back in t-- how long is it going to take before you can work again?\"\n\n\"Probably a week or two?\" she replied softly.  With a cautious look around she confided, \"It's a WFJ problem.\"\n\nI had no idea what a \"WFJ\" problem was, and my boss didn't either, so we just looked at each other for a long moment.\n\n\"Ah.  Well, let us know when your machine is available again.\"\n\nWe continued wandering around, trying to get information out of people that all shared a beaten, broken look, frequently stymied by simple IT issues.  \"It's time to change my password,\" or \"My hard drive has bad sectors,\" or \"I don't have a network cable.\"  Each time, when we probed, it was described as a WFJ problem.\n\nFinally, my boss had to ask somebody \"What's a WFJ problem?\"\n\n\"Waiting for Jane\"\n\nJane was the head of IT in this department.  She looked like exactly the kind of woman that would end up working in IT, or maybe Birkenau.  Thin, direct, and very, very extremely intense.  We finally met her in her office, a corner office with the most amazing, tenuously balanced piles of paper and books covering every horizontal surface: both desks, the credenza, and most of the floor.\n\nOur initial meeting was brief; she whirled us out the door on her way to \"take care of some things\", and we were whisked along behind her, dodging a flurry of loose papers and casual swearing that would have made Andrew Dice Clay sit down and shut up.\n\nShe kept up a constant stream of chatter-- it never paused, only directed itself differently; sometimes at us, sometimes at passersby, sometimes at random objects.\n\nWe'd had a chance, before meeting Jane, to chat with some of the other IT staff.  There were many; her department alone made up nearly a quarter of the entire state department's headcount.  \n\nIn speaking with them, the reason for WFJ problems quickly became apparent: every computer, every server, every mainframe account was locked down, and could only be opened or operated on... by Jane.  \n\nNo programmer could open his own ports, no DBA could index his own database, no mainframe admin could create his own accounts.  Literally every operation had to be unlocked and personally managed by Jane herself.\n\nIf Jane were ever to be hit by a bus, they might as well just throw their entire computing infrastructure away.\n\nIt's not as if she were particularly stable, either.  We tagged along as she was doing some basic tech support on one of the PCs, and, being Windows 95, the install was being slow and ornery.\n\n\"Come on,\" she cooed, gently stroking the side of the box.  \"Come on, work for me, baby.  You can do it. DO IT YOU FILTH.  DO IT.  DO THE THING RIGHT NOW!\"  Her voice spiked to a shriek as she began hurling insults and imprecations at the uncaring machine.  Boss and I took two involuntary steps back, but the people around us were as unaffected as the box she was verbally shredding.\n\nThis was clearly not an unusual event.\n\nThis one's getting long, so I'll table the remainder of our adventures in government software for another time.",
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      "body": "@@ -1,25 +1,4 @@\n-...will never work.%0A%0A\n If y\n@@ -31,12 +31,11 @@\n the \n-righ\n+bes\n t so\n",
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      "author": "calamitous",
      "body": "...will never work.\n\nIf you ask 10 programmers for the right solution to a problem, you will get a minimum of 14 different responses, all of which will be contradictory, and most of which will be wrong.",
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      "body": "Not as clumsy or random as a GUI; an elegant tool for a more... civilized age.",
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      "body": "**\"If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.\"**\n\nThis is wrong.  If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would become a new product feature, upon which all of civilization would subsequently depend, because it was first to market.",
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      "body": "The CTO, Captain Narcissus, was a certifiable nutbar.  In speech, he dropped F-bombs like other people breathe in.  He was similar in temperament to a toddler; demanding, screamy, and always, always, _always_ right.\n\nAt one point, our poor tech moved Captain Narcissus' monitor while he was out of town.  Upon his return, he had a literal screaming meltdown, where he stormed around the Programming Pit shrieking **\"DON'T F\\*\\*\\*!  WITH MY S\\*\\*\\*!\"** over and over at the top of his lungs.\n\n At other times he could be quite affectionate, like the time he crept up behind me while I was coding and started rubbing my face, saying \"I like your beard.\"\n\nOne evening shortly after a major client product launch, the site started experiencing slow response times.  Even though it was well after hours, a few of us were still working when Captain Narcissus stomped down the stairs demanding to know why the site was slow.\n\nOur network guy saw that our office network was saturated-- this was back when we we ran network services out of our physical location, on whatever boxes we could scrape together, so office traffic competed for bandwidth with the product.\n\nThe network guy told Captain Narcissus that he was able to narrow down the cause of saturation to a well-known streaming porn site, and he was trying to figure out which computer in the office was causing the problem.\n\n\"Oh,\" said the Captain, with uncharacteristic calmness.  \"Oh.  Well, I'm sure it's fine.  Don't worry about it.\"\n\nThen he went upstairs.\n\nMinutes later, the network situation resolved itself.",
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