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      "body": "@@ -1336,15 +1336,16 @@\n m aw\n+e\n some \n-in\n+at\n  giv\n@@ -2095,17 +2095,17 @@\n nces. No\n-e\n+w\n , don't \n@@ -2117,16 +2117,18 @@\n e wrong.\n+..\n  I do ha\n",
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      "memo": "❗ Hello boobiesreality, great that you are using the STEEM blockchain. The Executive Board is publishing insider infos at https://discord.gg/KyBbmhh on how you will be earning the most coins. It's easy, just follow the instructions. THE 1000X BOOSTER KEY is already waiting for you over there too. 😉 Warm regards, The Executive Board.",
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      "body": "It's been a while since I've opened my laptop and write something. I had a lot going on in my mind and in my life.  It's been almost three years since I'm back in my country. Can't really say that I'm enjoying my time here. I did miss my family, that is a fact, but I've had enough of them. There's a lot to discuss... A LOT. I don't even know with what to begin. So, after I left Austria, I genuinely believed that I'll have better and more relaxed days. Oh boy, I was wrong!!! After the split from my ex-business partner ... with whom I had to walk the hallways of a courtroom for 3 god damn years, won 4 lawsuits against him, 3 civil and 1 penal, and still didn't recover all my money, the process is still ongoing... I came back home with my hopes highs and my chin up, trying to figure out who I am and what defines me. Guess what... After everything  I've been through, after all the pain that the world gave me, God decided to put me once again on a freaking rollercoaster, and it hasn't been easy. Coming back home after traveling and moving from country to country, was disorienting.  I had controversial feelings about my safe place... my home... Being back here brought tears in my eyes and pain in my soul. Turns out that I have plenty to discover about myself. I have absolutely no idea how to do it or what 'me' means. I'm awsome in giving other people advice that helps them, but when it comes to me, fuck! I'm unable to control my emotions or spell them in the right order. Because of this, when I'm pissed, either I completely shut up or I start talking way too much... verbal diarrhea.  I like reading and writing cause it helps me to figure out my negative emotions and deal with them. Talking or writing about my feeling isn't easy, especially if they're negative. My life's been a disaster. The word \"trauma\" covers a wide scale. I've learned how to develop a mechanism to survive by making my decisions short and simple; that's what's happening where all your life you've been outraged and enraged, exasperated,  furious, scared, and perplexed by most of my lives experiences. Noe, don't get me wrong. I do have nice, happy memories too. They are the ones that give me strength and bring some joy into my existence. Undoubtedly, memories are priceless. Either treasured and cherished or antagonizing and harmful, they are a part of me. So, my question now is: why to write the good stuff when the bad ones are the ones who get me going! who keeps me fighting! I won't deny.. sad situations and emotions may discourage me a tiny bit, and it may drag me down sometimes, but they're an inevitable part of life. Fair or unfair shit happens! Deal with it and make the necessary changes or dwell in negativity and completely fuck the perception of life. Instead of burying my insecurities, I try to create a greater sense of wellbeing. Good and bad, yin and yang, the sun and the moon, love, and hate... it's a part of who I am. So my advice is: Don't avoid any negative emotions just because they are harmful. Know why you feel the way you do and don't you dare to try to hide it. Pain changed me and it made me reevaluate life's joy. I'm still learning.. Look at me; bad choice after bad choice, but I'm still here standing. I'm still fighting. Why rush through life and live in a state of resistance!! Sweat people, I'm not gonna say every day, but every single week I'm witnessing a new horror arising. We are so set up by society to be scared and not to feel safe that we forget how to slow down for a moment and reshape our minds to slow down and appreciate the current moment. Let's be more true to ourselves no matter if people look at us like we're freaks. Don't be ordinary because the world says it so. Freakiness is what makes us unique and cool!! I'm aware that most of my stories don't make sense to you, but it does to me. It's how I pep talk myself... Scientifically proven that a person has more than 60000 thoughts per day...well... I can assure you that I have much more than just 60k. Today just this, but from tomorrow I'll have a story each day for you.\n![21E62E1B-7DA1-4D39-96EB-6980C40CA76E.jpeg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcvJQjZudwa3pGpvmEGSAFQtnfkJWCeBTCcKic7Tyn3uo/21E62E1B-7DA1-4D39-96EB-6980C40CA76E.jpeg)",
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      "author": "steemitboard",
      "body": "Congratulations @boobiesreality! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@boobiesreality/birthday1.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 1 year!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@boobiesreality) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](http://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=boobiesreality)_</sub>\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/3-years-on-steem-happy-birthday-the-distribution-of-commemorative-badges-has-begun\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://u.cubeupload.com/arcange/BG6u6k.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/3-years-on-steem-happy-birthday-the-distribution-of-commemorative-badges-has-begun\">3 years on Steem - The distribution of commemorative badges has begun!</a></td></tr><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/happy-birthday-the-steem-blockchain-is-running-for-3-years\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://u.cubeupload.com/arcange/BG6u6k.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/happy-birthday-the-steem-blockchain-is-running-for-3-years\">Happy Birthday! The Steem blockchain is running for 3 years.</a></td></tr></table>\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
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      "body": "Thank you so much for sharing this amazing post with us!\n\nHave you heard about Partiko? It’s a really convenient mobile app for Steem! With Partiko, you can easily see what’s going on in the Steem community, make posts and comments (no beneficiary cut forever!), and always stayed connected with your followers via push notification!\n\nPartiko also rewards you with Partiko Points (3000 Partiko Point bonus when you first use it!), and Partiko Points can be converted into Steem tokens. You can earn Partiko Points easily by making posts and comments using Partiko.\n\nWe also noticed that your Steem Power is low. We will be very happy to delegate 15 Steem Power to you once you have made a post using Partiko! With more Steem Power, you can make more posts and comments, and earn more rewards!\n\nIf that all sounds interesting, you can: \n\n- Download Partiko Android at [Google Play](http://bit.ly/2SRFIta)\n- Or Download Partiko iOS on the [App Store](https://apple.co/2PcXkSd)\n\nThank you so much for reading this message!",
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      "body": "Wish you all a year richer in fulfillment, higher aspirations and full of success. To eat without getting fat, to love without being hurt, to dream without fear, and to have no regrets. To believe in yourself and to have faith in your abilities!!!\nFor me, I hope this brand new year will teach people close to me, especially my ex T with whom I still have some complicated ongoing relationship, how to \"hit\" me with the truth but never again to warmth me with lies.\nWith this occasion, I'd also like to reassure every single person who knows me that I'll still be the same cute badass bitch I've always been. Even when people decide to feed me with their bullshit, I'll challenge my limits, but, I'll still be focusing on my goals.\nRealize your worth, ladies, manifest your dreams, and be confident in your strength!\nLuv, M.",
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      "body": "@@ -2194,17 +2194,17 @@\n with the\n-n\n+m\n  is diss\n",
      "json_metadata": "{\"tags\":[\"thoughts\",\"alwaysforward\",\"keepfighting\",\"nevergiveup\",\"findbalance\"],\"image\":[\"https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmTdhzCddSffLDNhHvCQZBr274mALPazWgVthLFKKJHYrj/IMG_5737.JPG\"],\"app\":\"steemit/0.1\",\"format\":\"markdown\"}",
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      "body": "Hello, hello my dear people.\nWhat is trust?\nHow can I know who to cut off and with who to be patient?\n\nLike I previously said in some of my stories, I have a few trauma in my life that has given me anger issues, anxiety attacks, sever repugnance for shitheads, and so on, but every single time, I've tried to rebuild my life from within, and release my bottled up emotions. I'm aware that all of these \"lessons\" made me somehow stronger, and anger is a defense mechanism that pumps out every time I'm hurt, but nowadays I prefer to be alone than having people around me who don't deserve my friendship, my trust or my loyalty. I keep on saying that I haven't lost hope or faith, but yet I don't seem to connect with so many people anymore. Besides my family and a couple of best friends that I have left, I spend more and more time by myself, in my own company, trying to figure out who I am.\n\nIn the past, so many times I've refused to have an honest conversation with some of my friends about things that made me angry or worried regarding their behavior or mine just because I was afraid they would not have understood me in those very moments of extreme or intense judgment. Probably was for the best to mention them, or not. Now it is too late to repair some relationships. Many chapters in my life had come to an end, and many others will be rewritten or renewed. \n\nNevertheless, people change over time. I am not the same person I used to be, and many things had become intolerable for me, and guess what! In some situations where I'd usually battled and aimed at mutual understanding across differences, I choose to stay silent. My therapist said that I've finally managed to take \"the pill for insensibility,\" and make my needs a priority. She said that I don't depend on the people around me to give myself a sense of belonging and that I've understood that friendships may grow in parallel, closer or apart.\n\n...Just saying that I'm finally learning how to live without certain people, mostly friends, and I've finally accepted the fact that is nobody obligated to me but me. When things that previously magnetized me to my friends no longer exist, I move on because the connection with then is dissipating. It took me a long time to do this and to be more precise, it took me fucking 33 years, and loads of thinking, suffering, crying, but I've finally learned how to trust more my gut and be guided by my intuition. My subconscious is tired of getting hurt over and over again, and it activated my most bitchy side to stop feeling hurt, or, who knows, maybe it's just a phase. I still have to figure out!\n\nUntil now, I've always said what I think smoothly, so people won't think I am a mean person, even though that wasn't exactly how I felt at that moment. I've always tried to be calm and rational in some shit situations when I suppose to go crazy. Why?! Maybe because even though I didn't want to admit to myself that I was scared of loneliness, that feeling was deeply hiding inside me! Because I've loved certain people so much that I've allowed them to use me for their benefits. Or, perhaps, just because so many times I've said it, and out loud, that I've achieved balance it was to convince myself that is true and not my imagination who supposedly made me stronger against pain and frustration. Not anymore! I'm sick and tired of trying to fit in the mold others have created for me or trying to be someone else that I am not just to please some people around me! It is ME TIME, and I am not going to be nice with people who don't give a shit about me!\nStay strong, stay focus, never lose faith, keep on fighting until you discover who you are, and what you like!\nLuv, M.![IMG_5737.JPG](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmTdhzCddSffLDNhHvCQZBr274mALPazWgVthLFKKJHYrj/IMG_5737.JPG)",
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      "author": "boobiesreality",
      "body": "Hello, hello, beautiful selfless and selfish people!\n\nToday I'll write a few lines because I've disappeared from this blog for a while now.\n\nIn between enjoying nice, hot weather, some holiday here and there, I've been extremely busy with moving from Austria back home, in Romania.\n\nGuys, I'm so freaking happy to be finally at home among the people who make me feel safe, and loved! Also, since September, I'm older. I'm 33 now, and hopefully, wiser. Jesus Christ!!! Time is flying so fast! Wrinkles become more seeable than last year, and I STILL haven't fucked with anyone! But, hey, got a lot on my plate right now, and more meaningful stuff to fix and to do. Like, arranging my apartment, new health insurance, the technical inspection of my car, paying the bills, getting ready for Mexico to see T, and the most important, finding new business ideas (which I did, but, for the moment, I prefer not say anything about it). Momentary, it's time for me to be relentless, brutal, in getting what I want for my future, and that's all that matters, and what got me focused.\n\nEven though I like to consider myself a hard as nails person, sometimes, I'm just tired of having more past than future. I know that I am resilient and, I can adapt to any circumstances that may be good or bad, but I'm also aware that I can avoid some bad choices. Now, I've accepted that I can't connect with so many of my friends because they only liked me if I fitted inside their box. I had some poisonous friendships in which my friends were also my haters. Being divided in between not giving up on my best friend who I loved, and coming to terms with the fact that that person no longer exists in my life, or it was just the fruit of my imagination of creating a best friend because deep inside I was too afraid of being lonely, it's complicated and painful. It took me quite a while to recover and move on, but I've learned not to chase after people's friendship anymore. I'm content in my own company, and people will always come and go from my life anyway, but, unfortunately, the more I learn about people, the more I want to stay away from them. It looks like, the older I get, the more I realize that I don't want to be surrounded by drama, conflict, stress, and people with more faces.\n\nLet's not whisper  \"WTF\" to ourselves; God knows how many times per day, ladies!\n\nWhat flows, flows, and what crashes, crashes!!!\nStay strong, stay positive.\nLuv, M.\nP.S:  My story is most likely a mess today, and you'll not get the main idea, but while cleaning my house, all of these thoughts came in my mind, and I took a short ciggie break, and write them down. So don't be too harsh on me.",
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