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      "body": "Transcendental meditation. Do it twice a day every day for 6 months and you will be free from everything that is negatively effecting you.",
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      "parent_permlink": "writings",
      "author": "alperenkurt",
      "permlink": "valentine",
      "title": "Valentine",
      "body": "Let's talk about the process today.\n\nWe assume that loved ones will leave, but understand that it has already happened to us, that's nonsense.\nI mean, generally things happened to me, but I prefer to deceive myself.\nJust like you deceived yourself in love.\nI will pretend it hasn't happened yet.\n\nThere is a precedent to this process.\nThere is a necessary sequence of events for the formation of every human character, as well as a preliminary process for falling in love.\nWe can call it the right time.\n\nActually, if the same person appears in other years and circumstances, you won't fall in love. But human psychology is a very strange thing.\nI say 'thing'.\nBecause it's an uncertain structure, damnable.\n\nSince life is a big struggle, you definitely get a wound in life before love.\nThis is not something you have.\nLife surely offers you that wound.\nAnd you're fighting that wound for a while.\nYou are aware of some wounds.\nSome don't even be.\nWhich we call the subconscious.\nAfter a while after you are scorched with those wounds (this is even for first love. we fall in love to mend the wounds we had as children) you get tired.\nOr you are getting better.\nIn addition, it should be noted that life is something that is lived alone and not beautiful.\nIf it is good for 3 days, it is a phenomenon that we poison ourselves on the 4th day after a while.\nWe feel this loneliness in our blood as poisonous to the bone at every possible opportunity.\nA little bit of love is an effort to throw out or share this poison, or forget it temporarily with painkillers.\n\nAnyway, one day you treated yourself.\nYou think your childhood traumas no longer exist.\nYou think your self-confidence is the ceiling.\nYou are at the top now.\nYou feel very, very powerful, you're invinsible!\nBecause you are healed, you stop fighting with your wounds.\nYou are strong but you made the biggest mistake.\nYou thought yourself strong and lowered your guard.\nYou know, a sword is inserted into the weak point of that 3-headed dragon.\nYou are that dragon.\nYou think you have the power to destroy everything.\nBut what you're doing is just exposing your weak point.\n\nSince you stop dealing with these wounds in the dire of life, you leave that part of your walls open.\nBecause it is no longer necessary to put guards there for nothing.\nYour soul thinks you are at peace with life.\n\nLater, this discovers the new love person deficit, which I can perhaps call the enemy (I said enemy because the number of people you can be friends in the future is low).\nShe enters through that open door and starts a trade with you.\nYou start buying and selling things through that open door.\nThe economy is developing.\nAbundance are coming into our walls.\nYour soul in your body fades away.\nAnd you are so peaceful in that abundance that you become even more aware that you are the king.\nWealth is getting abundant in the country.\n\nYou get sick 4 days you sleep on a quilt mattress.\nBut when you get better, the 5th day is a relief.\nYou can understand the difference.\nA sharp difference like a knife.\nThere is even a great difference with the day before.\nYou say oh what a beautiful thing health.\n\nThat's how love is.\nLike the patient who got out of bed on the 5th day, a happy healthy process begins with new love as if he regained his health after years.\nWhen you take your hand and look into that person's eyes, you say, what suffering have I had over the years?\nHow unnecessary it was.\nLook how beautiful life is.\n\nLike running from hot sands into cool ocean.\nNot very cool yet.\nDoes not catch cold.\nMoreover, it is shallow.\nThere is no danger of drowning yet.\n\nMaybe we have extended it, but in this process, it may be necessary to touch the miracle that the person you like also liked you at the same time.\nIt's not like a coming back at backgammon.\nSomething like winning the lottery.\nThis is such a low probability.\nSometimes we love even this possibility.\nThis is the fear that we will not find it again.\nBecause of the low possibility of this, love is something you have never experienced before. This miracle fills you after a long thirst.\n\nAs soon as you recognize the moment of mutual liking, what comes into play is the size of your old wounds.\nIf you have a huge old wound, this new wonderful feeling of love will meet your fear of loss. All you have to do is separate the two and act like that.\nOtherwise, you won't know what to do and you will lose control.\n\nLove is sharply separated.\nYou know whether you're in love or not.\nIf a car crashes, for example, your legs are broken, would you not notice it?\nThat's how love is.\nYou want her so much that you want her to be with you at all times.\nLove is digital.\nIt is not analog.\nYou know, the level can be adjusted in analog.\nThere are levels from 1 to 10.\nYou turn the sound on and off.\nBut digital is 1 and 0.\nThere are either.\nThere is no fucking either.\nThe name of what you turn into analogue over time is love.\nLove and affection are two very different things.\nIt can also hate human love.\nThere is no guarantee that you will love it.\n\nContinue...\n\nYour wounds are so relieved with the new love.\n\nThe person who died of high fever while he was lying sick in that bed, got rid of it.\nWe said a little about your past wounds, your loneliness in life.\nEvery person has experienced some setbacks in his life.\nAnd some drink more to these bad moments.\nYou want someone you love to support you.\nAnd it will do you so good for a reason you don't know.\nLove consoles you.\nComforts your wounds.\n\nEspecially if sex comes into play in the process, what is off.\nMale or female psychology does not matter.\nIf you entrust your body to that person and remain naked in front of them, and you see them naked too, add pleasure to it, you will become an addict.\nMaking love with love is something invaluable.\nThe difference between making love without love is like the difference between night and day, winter and summer.\n\nNone of these are something you can live in ordinary.\nThere is a phrase called one night stand, don't believe that the word love is in it.\nIts true, it's a one night pleasure.\n\nIf there was love, she wouldn't stay with one night.\nYou would like it over and over.\nYou couldn't run away like it was a highschool reunion.\n\nIf we add up, what was it?\nLove is good for an old wound.\nIf that person turns out to be a good person, she continues to treat me or you.\nIf it doesn't continue and you're left behind, the digestion process begins.\nIf you obsess over it, you are fucked.\nIf you cannot control yourself, you are trying to harm the other party.\nIf you are a man, you perform power shows according to your level of education.\nIf you are a woman, you tend to get involved in crime with other small big threats or games.\n\nWhy?\n\nBecause you're returning to your old wounded state.\nYour days of prosperity are coming to an end.\nYou stay worse because of your digestion. you fall for the famous kubler ross model\n\nThere is no point in extending further.\nI'm finishing little one.\n\nIf you obsess, you can't fix yourself even though you know you're wrong.\nAnd you loathe yourself unless you can fix it.\nYou who were king maybe 3 months ago.\nYou are worse than a slave in the dungeon.\nIn the bottomless wells.\nYou say not worth it then you find yourself dreaming about it.\nIt is not easy to throw love out of it.\nHow could you fix her tickling for him?\nYou can get into places you can't reach with dental floss.\nBut there is no such thing as a love thread.\n\nFinally, let's not go without specifying.\nThere is no successful love.\nThere is peaceful love.\nIf you have a peaceful love, this is probably their success, not yours.\nBecause there is no one who does not make mistakes by falling in love.\nThere is no one who does not act in ways that are unrelated to himself.\nYou must stray somewhere.\nIf you are not a windfall but a big bonus, you still have a peaceful love with that person. Peaceful love is a great blessing.\nKnow your worth.\nLove is a desire at first.\nThen it is love.\nIf you search for new people over and over again, you have no chance to find the excitement of honeymoon months.\nYou stay like a screw that licks, if you force it.\n\nLove your job. fall in love with your job.\nIf you experience a pain, maybe you can forget yourself there.\nEven if you don't experience pain, you will be successful at your job because you love your job.\nFor this reason, your love respects you more.\n\nDamn our days without love. \nBut even more damn about our days of love…",
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      "permlink": "i-do-not-feel-okay",
      "title": "I do not feel okay",
      "body": "I do not feel okay at all.\n\nIt's like a very simple sentence but a very shitty thing.\nI have a routine that I am always busy with during the day.\nAs if I had to interrupt whichever one I did and move on to the other.\nAs if the other one is more important.\nThen, when I quit the job halfway and move on to the next one, it's like I have to move on to the next one.\nOtherwise, I am extremely irritable.\nI have a last batch of unfinished work left before me.\n\nI can't sleep at night.\nSometimes I can't take my pills somehow.\nThen, when I fall asleep, I dream of my dog, whom I lost about 2 months ago without exception.\nVery complicated dreams.\nI don't sit down and cry saying my girl.\nAfter a few days, I somehow realized that I had to forget and continue my life.\nIt was very difficult but I couldn't bring it back.\nMy health was important.\n\nAs for me, I immediately concentrate on something else.\nIt works.\nBut I see her in my dreams while she sleeps at night.\nSometimes I have irrelevant but mostly ridiculous dreams.\nThen around 8:30 am I wake up with a terrible feeling of pressure in my chest and a cramp in my left arm.\nI still cannot sleep for 1-2 hours.\nI have trouble breathing.\n\nI've already told about the daytime.\nNow I paused for a moment when there was a lot of unfinished work that I could not make myself focus on work and gave up.\nBreathing deeply, I reach out on the sofa.\nLike meditation.\nThen suddenly tears began to come from my eyes.\n\nI no longer really remember where I started on the road, where I went, what I wanted to do or who I wanted to be, or rather what I wanted to achieve.\nI'm not saying just for words.\nAs I got into this hustle and bustle, I forgot why I did it.\nI'm just concentrating to keep my mind busy.\n\nTalking to people face to face or on the phone is not good.\nI'd like to write all this nonsense in a diary.\nWithout disturbing anyone.\nBut if something happens to me one day, I don't want people to read it and laugh at me.\nI destroyed all the old ones.\nHere is anonymous.\nA few person know who is this person in reality.\nAnd if I put it into words, I hope that maybe I can come to a conclusion or think rationally.\n\nTelling me something happens.\nSomething very strange.\nI don't want to die at all.\nBut as if I have no energy to live.\nTo hope for something or to aim.\n\nAnyway, let me stop without further exposing you by my toxicity.\nOr worse, no solutions came to mind.\nLet's stand for something.\nBut what for?",
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      "title": "everyone invited to the word game challenge",
      "body": "Let's try to write something from a word \n\n\"The doors\"\n\nPeople usually be cool and try to be the one who's hard to get for feeling more valuable.\nAfter some point of chasing the one who's hard to get, you'll feel chasing the one is a waste of time. \nThe one will become more worthless and worthless on your eyes until the one is nothing for you.\nIt's not giving up, it's saving your energy for something/someone better that gives you joy.\nBeautiful things don't make you wait for them for a long time, It happens in a sudden way.\nYou should not force them in but give them an open door whether they open the door or not.\nThe point is the door is there and it's open, it's their choice to be in or out.\nIf someone doesn't open the door but keep opening the other doors, close yours.\nThey want the doors not yours.\n\nNext word will be rainbow",
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      "body": "I've lost my soul as I grew up.\n\nWhen I was a kid, \nI was curious, happy and garrulous.\nI was be able to trust anyone within a spark,\nLetting go a loved one was like a pulling of a nail.\n\nFall through dreams, get crashed by reality.\nUnleash the devil inside, let it kill the beating.\nCollapse everything until you feel calm.\nKill your naive self to make feel yourself better.\n\nThey don't understand 'cause they don't want to\nHit and run is fun if you can't get caught tho\nEveryone is disposable but people fake loyalty\nMake me believe in you, if you feel alone\n\nOr fake a bonding line, if there's no one\nFeeling off is the only thing you made me feel\nmaking love for loving or loving for making love\n\nThe answer was everything was for fun \nNow I'm cold, grumpy and silent.\nNow I don't trust anyone else but myself\nLetting go a loved one easy cause \nNow I know that the people I called loved ones,\nOnce were disloyal, disposable and worthless ones.",
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