VOTING POWER100.00%
DOWNVOTE POWER100.00%
RESOURCE CREDITS100.00%
REPUTATION PROGRESS0.00%
Net Worth
0.408USD
STEEM
0.000STEEM
SBD
0.000SBD
Own SP
7.536SP
Detailed Balance
| STEEM | ||
| balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| market_balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| savings_balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| reward_steem_balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| STEEM POWER | ||
| Own SP | 7.536SP | SP |
| Delegated Out | 0.000SP | SP |
| Delegation In | 0.000SP | SP |
| Effective Power | 7.536SP | SP |
| Reward SP (pending) | 0.000SP | SP |
| SBD | ||
| sbd_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| sbd_conversions | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| sbd_market_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| savings_sbd_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| reward_sbd_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
{
"balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"savings_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"reward_steem_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"vesting_shares": "12270.994239 VESTS",
"delegated_vesting_shares": "0.000000 VESTS",
"received_vesting_shares": "0.000000 VESTS",
"sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"savings_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"reward_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"conversions": []
}Account Info
| name | alecto |
| id | 37399 |
| rank | 157,554 |
| reputation | 9611989 |
| created | 2016-07-27T10:26:24 |
| recovery_account | steem |
| proxy | None |
| post_count | 5 |
| comment_count | 0 |
| lifetime_vote_count | 0 |
| witnesses_voted_for | 0 |
| last_post | 2016-07-27T13:21:21 |
| last_root_post | 2016-07-27T13:21:21 |
| last_vote_time | 2016-07-27T13:21:21 |
| proxied_vsf_votes | 0, 0, 0, 0 |
| can_vote | 1 |
| voting_power | 9,264 |
| delayed_votes | 0 |
| balance | 0.000 STEEM |
| savings_balance | 0.000 STEEM |
| sbd_balance | 0.000 SBD |
| savings_sbd_balance | 0.000 SBD |
| vesting_shares | 12270.994239 VESTS |
| delegated_vesting_shares | 0.000000 VESTS |
| received_vesting_shares | 0.000000 VESTS |
| reward_vesting_balance | 0.000000 VESTS |
| vesting_balance | 0.000 STEEM |
| vesting_withdraw_rate | 0.000000 VESTS |
| next_vesting_withdrawal | 1969-12-31T23:59:59 |
| withdrawn | 0 |
| to_withdraw | 0 |
| withdraw_routes | 0 |
| savings_withdraw_requests | 0 |
| last_account_recovery | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| reset_account | null |
| last_owner_update | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| last_account_update | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| mined | No |
| sbd_seconds | 0 |
| sbd_last_interest_payment | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| savings_sbd_last_interest_payment | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
{
"id": 37399,
"name": "alecto",
"owner": {
"weight_threshold": 1,
"account_auths": [],
"key_auths": [
[
"STM7o25WUvbcaBn18NKox2TvPggHCsWhMC65Zfzb3YcZvQ7aRp3tY",
1
]
]
},
"active": {
"weight_threshold": 1,
"account_auths": [],
"key_auths": [
[
"STM7uHRZKVQB4y1xBStY6Qq4KiAiJ4VhqbP8jNqx6e6zjitocQw7Z",
1
]
]
},
"posting": {
"weight_threshold": 1,
"account_auths": [],
"key_auths": [
[
"STM7n9wRi62ZGWW13imya8XA6bnUn3ZDeFUX9tZWY1UyewHSccZYY",
1
]
]
},
"memo_key": "STM5gEUJwgxWk8HTEhkSUkWsfTmQT1mPpQKuT2kSf8tBPHSe4HKsF",
"json_metadata": "",
"posting_json_metadata": "",
"proxy": "",
"last_owner_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"last_account_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"created": "2016-07-27T10:26:24",
"mined": false,
"recovery_account": "steem",
"last_account_recovery": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"reset_account": "null",
"comment_count": 0,
"lifetime_vote_count": 0,
"post_count": 5,
"can_vote": true,
"voting_manabar": {
"current_mana": 9264,
"last_update_time": 1469625681
},
"downvote_manabar": {
"current_mana": 0,
"last_update_time": 1469615184
},
"voting_power": 9264,
"balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"savings_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"sbd_seconds": "0",
"sbd_seconds_last_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"sbd_last_interest_payment": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"savings_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"savings_sbd_seconds": "0",
"savings_sbd_seconds_last_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"savings_sbd_last_interest_payment": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"savings_withdraw_requests": 0,
"reward_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"reward_steem_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"reward_vesting_balance": "0.000000 VESTS",
"reward_vesting_steem": "0.000 STEEM",
"vesting_shares": "12270.994239 VESTS",
"delegated_vesting_shares": "0.000000 VESTS",
"received_vesting_shares": "0.000000 VESTS",
"vesting_withdraw_rate": "0.000000 VESTS",
"next_vesting_withdrawal": "1969-12-31T23:59:59",
"withdrawn": 0,
"to_withdraw": 0,
"withdraw_routes": 0,
"curation_rewards": 0,
"posting_rewards": 0,
"proxied_vsf_votes": [
0,
0,
0,
0
],
"witnesses_voted_for": 0,
"last_post": "2016-07-27T13:21:21",
"last_root_post": "2016-07-27T13:21:21",
"last_vote_time": "2016-07-27T13:21:21",
"post_bandwidth": 38504,
"pending_claimed_accounts": 0,
"vesting_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"reputation": 9611989,
"transfer_history": [],
"market_history": [],
"post_history": [],
"vote_history": [],
"other_history": [],
"witness_votes": [],
"tags_usage": [],
"guest_bloggers": [],
"rank": 157554
}Withdraw Routes
| Incoming | Outgoing |
|---|---|
Empty | Empty |
{
"incoming": [],
"outgoing": []
}From Date
To Date
2019/07/27 11:15:03
2019/07/27 11:15:03
| parent author | alecto |
| parent permlink | what-marketing-is |
| author | steemitboard |
| permlink | steemitboard-notify-alecto-20190727t111503000z |
| title | |
| body | Congratulations @alecto! You received a personal award! <table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@alecto/birthday3.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 3 years!</td></tr></table> <sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@alecto) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=alecto)_</sub> ###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes! |
| json metadata | {"image":["https://steemitboard.com/img/notify.png"]} |
| Transaction Info | Block #35026927/Trx e934a8f546d017d3450d69d66ce6001fda0fca0e |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "e934a8f546d017d3450d69d66ce6001fda0fca0e",
"block": 35026927,
"trx_in_block": 5,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2019-07-27T11:15:03",
"op": [
"comment",
{
"parent_author": "alecto",
"parent_permlink": "what-marketing-is",
"author": "steemitboard",
"permlink": "steemitboard-notify-alecto-20190727t111503000z",
"title": "",
"body": "Congratulations @alecto! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@alecto/birthday3.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 3 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@alecto) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=alecto)_</sub>\n\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
"json_metadata": "{\"image\":[\"https://steemitboard.com/img/notify.png\"]}"
}
]
}smitopblockchain operation: transfer from savings2018/08/01 23:12:21
smitopblockchain operation: transfer from savings
2018/08/01 23:12:21
| from | smitop |
| request id | 14652 |
| to | alecto |
| amount | 0.001 SBD |
| memo | Hi, it looks like you're not voting for any witnesses. Witnesses help secure the Steem network. You should vote for some, at https://steemit.com/~witnesses, or by pressing 'Vote for witnesses' in the Steemit sidebar (top right corner). I'm a bot. |
| Transaction Info | Block #24698898/Trx d7fc65ee702a57c792ec14797411f00e9d4316f2 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "d7fc65ee702a57c792ec14797411f00e9d4316f2",
"block": 24698898,
"trx_in_block": 1,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2018-08-01T23:12:21",
"op": [
"transfer_from_savings",
{
"from": "smitop",
"request_id": 14652,
"to": "alecto",
"amount": "0.001 SBD",
"memo": "Hi, it looks like you're not voting for any witnesses. Witnesses help secure the Steem network. You should vote for some, at https://steemit.com/~witnesses, or by pressing 'Vote for witnesses' in the Steemit sidebar (top right corner). I'm a bot."
}
]
}2017/07/27 12:14:27
2017/07/27 12:14:27
| parent author | alecto |
| parent permlink | what-marketing-is |
| author | steemitboard |
| permlink | steemitboard-notify-alecto-20170727t121429000z |
| title | |
| body | Congratulations @alecto! You have received a personal award! [](http://steemitboard.com/@alecto) Happy Birthday - 1 Year on Steemit Happy Birthday - 1 Year on Steemit Click on the badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard. For more information about this award, click [here](https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/steemitboard-update-8-happy-birthday) > By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how [here](https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/http-i-cubeupload-com-7ciqeo-png)! |
| json metadata | {"image":["https://steemitboard.com/img/notifications.png"]} |
| Transaction Info | Block #14049510/Trx 18240cac35d58b1f3c377ee475b5437564ef8fd1 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "18240cac35d58b1f3c377ee475b5437564ef8fd1",
"block": 14049510,
"trx_in_block": 21,
"op_in_trx": 0,
"virtual_op": 0,
"timestamp": "2017-07-27T12:14:27",
"op": [
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{
"parent_author": "alecto",
"parent_permlink": "what-marketing-is",
"author": "steemitboard",
"permlink": "steemitboard-notify-alecto-20170727t121429000z",
"title": "",
"body": "Congratulations @alecto! You have received a personal award!\n\n[](http://steemitboard.com/@alecto) Happy Birthday - 1 Year on Steemit Happy Birthday - 1 Year on Steemit\nClick on the badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.\n\nFor more information about this award, click [here](https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/steemitboard-update-8-happy-birthday)\n> By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how [here](https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/http-i-cubeupload-com-7ciqeo-png)!",
"json_metadata": "{\"image\":[\"https://steemitboard.com/img/notifications.png\"]}"
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]
}brandsupvoted (100.00%) @alecto / what-marketing-is
brandsupvoted (100.00%) @alecto / what-marketing-is
| voter | brands |
| author | alecto |
| permlink | what-marketing-is |
| weight | 10000 (100.00%) |
| Transaction Info | Block #3560826/Trx 7cfdabce1b7e194a3e3f95aeed3e492511693d70 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "7cfdabce1b7e194a3e3f95aeed3e492511693d70",
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"timestamp": "2016-07-27T13:51:33",
"op": [
"vote",
{
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"author": "alecto",
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"weight": 10000
}
]
}euroupvoted (100.00%) @alecto / istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte
euroupvoted (100.00%) @alecto / istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte
| voter | euro |
| author | alecto |
| permlink | istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte |
| weight | 10000 (100.00%) |
| Transaction Info | Block #3560403/Trx c73644e9f8eedacc8a37d711cb7c2bf227417201 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "c73644e9f8eedacc8a37d711cb7c2bf227417201",
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"timestamp": "2016-07-27T13:30:21",
"op": [
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{
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"author": "alecto",
"permlink": "istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte",
"weight": 10000
}
]
}cire81upvoted (100.00%) @alecto / what-marketing-is
cire81upvoted (100.00%) @alecto / what-marketing-is
| voter | cire81 |
| author | alecto |
| permlink | what-marketing-is |
| weight | 10000 (100.00%) |
| Transaction Info | Block #3560284/Trx 36654301dbcbb42cfd2cf7642175629b68881698 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "36654301dbcbb42cfd2cf7642175629b68881698",
"block": 3560284,
"trx_in_block": 2,
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"timestamp": "2016-07-27T13:24:24",
"op": [
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{
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"author": "alecto",
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"weight": 10000
}
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}alectoupvoted (100.00%) @alecto / what-marketing-is
alectoupvoted (100.00%) @alecto / what-marketing-is
| voter | alecto |
| author | alecto |
| permlink | what-marketing-is |
| weight | 10000 (100.00%) |
| Transaction Info | Block #3560223/Trx e8fdcfb02f72b7276847c4723b7c7125d8d48e25 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
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"timestamp": "2016-07-27T13:21:21",
"op": [
"vote",
{
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"weight": 10000
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]
}alectopublished a new post: what-marketing-is
alectopublished a new post: what-marketing-is
| parent author | |
| parent permlink | joke |
| author | alecto |
| permlink | what-marketing-is |
| title | What marketing is |
| body | <p> </p> <h1>What marketing is</h1> <p>Now I understand what marketing is:You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Direct Marketing.You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty girl. One of your friends approaches her and tells her: "That guy over there is very good in bed". That is Advertising.You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone number. The following day you call her and tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Telemarketing .You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You recognize her, you approach her and refresh her memory by telling her: "Do you remember how good I am in bed?" That is Customer Relationship Management.You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You get up, fix your tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it falls and you tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Public Relations.You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and tells you: "I heard you are very good in bed". That is BRANDING!! </p> |
| json metadata | {"tags":["joke","steemit","fun","story","laugh"]} |
| Transaction Info | Block #3560223/Trx e8fdcfb02f72b7276847c4723b7c7125d8d48e25 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "e8fdcfb02f72b7276847c4723b7c7125d8d48e25",
"block": 3560223,
"trx_in_block": 1,
"op_in_trx": 0,
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"timestamp": "2016-07-27T13:21:21",
"op": [
"comment",
{
"parent_author": "",
"parent_permlink": "joke",
"author": "alecto",
"permlink": "what-marketing-is",
"title": "What marketing is",
"body": "<p> </p>\n<h1>What marketing is</h1>\n<p>Now I understand what marketing is:You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Direct Marketing.You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty girl. One of your friends approaches her and tells her: "That guy over there is very good in bed". That is Advertising.You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone number. The following day you call her and tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Telemarketing .You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You recognize her, you approach her and refresh her memory by telling her: "Do you remember how good I am in bed?" That is Customer Relationship Management.You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You get up, fix your tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it falls and you tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Public Relations.You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and tells you: "I heard you are very good in bed". That is BRANDING!! </p>",
"json_metadata": "{\"tags\":[\"joke\",\"steemit\",\"fun\",\"story\",\"laugh\"]}"
}
]
}navydudeupvoted (100.00%) @alecto / istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte
navydudeupvoted (100.00%) @alecto / istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte
| voter | navydude |
| author | alecto |
| permlink | istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte |
| weight | 10000 (100.00%) |
| Transaction Info | Block #3559922/Trx f1950a6b1bd43e1f6547a92c404ae0ee96545d9d |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "f1950a6b1bd43e1f6547a92c404ae0ee96545d9d",
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"timestamp": "2016-07-27T13:06:15",
"op": [
"vote",
{
"voter": "navydude",
"author": "alecto",
"permlink": "istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte",
"weight": 10000
}
]
}cire81upvoted (100.00%) @alecto / istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte
cire81upvoted (100.00%) @alecto / istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte
| voter | cire81 |
| author | alecto |
| permlink | istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte |
| weight | 10000 (100.00%) |
| Transaction Info | Block #3559827/Trx 008f3c817af5b73ac5b678d716c4e0e1cebad49b |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "008f3c817af5b73ac5b678d716c4e0e1cebad49b",
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"author": "alecto",
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]
}alectoupvoted (100.00%) @alecto / istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte
alectoupvoted (100.00%) @alecto / istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte
| voter | alecto |
| author | alecto |
| permlink | istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte |
| weight | 10000 (100.00%) |
| Transaction Info | Block #3559800/Trx 9a1c2cdc3c7dce1930dbf383b349bf9222b6006b |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "9a1c2cdc3c7dce1930dbf383b349bf9222b6006b",
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{
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]
}alectopublished a new post: istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte
alectopublished a new post: istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte
| parent author | |
| parent permlink | vk |
| author | alecto |
| permlink | istoriya-s-pablika-vkontakte |
| title | История с паблика вконтакте. |
| body | <p> Дарова , ребят.<br /> У меня вот такая вот история, произошло это неделю назад.<br /> Начну все с подробностей <br /> Меня зовут Рома 20 лет, живу я с девушкой Марией(ей 21). Живем в сьемной квартире(Квартира на 4 ом этаже), работаю в кафе поваром , она дизайнер , работает только дома.<br /> На жизнь нам хватает, грубо говоря - "Не жалуемся"<br /> Скажу так.... Мария - девушка-ХАУС. Ибо она может просто идти , СПОКОЙНО идти ,споткнуться об свою ногу и уебаться еблом об шкаф или пол(Немного по возмущается "Блиин , мой носик " тип такого), встать спокойно и пойти дальше по своим делам. Как не странно , она ничего себе не сломала во время наших отношений (3 года) Знаете , у меня уже это автоматом все выработалось , что-то разобьется или нахуй перевернется у нас в квартире - Маша уебалась или как-то ночью что-то перевернется (Многие бы напугались , тип кто-то на кухне все сносит и разбивает) А это Машенька жрать в 4 часа ночи пошла, ебанутая-ебанушка (Ест она по ночам редко , но были моменты пиздец). Она не толстая, фигура красивая, а жрет больше чем я и не толстеет 0_0....Сейчас зима , смотрю в окно , идет Маша с магазина. И пока она шла- уебалась 4 раза блять(гололед на улице ) после работы я чуть-ли не бежал домой чтоб посрать и ниразу не уебался еще, а она уебалась уже 4 раза блять за 5 мин возле подьезда.<br /> И так.... Суббота , иду я домой с работы прикупив пива и чипсов для посиделки за компом. Хуль , сегодня ведь суббота , а завтра выходной . Подхожу к дому , мой подьезд впереди и слышу стоны. Встал и начинаю прислушиваться.<br /> Иду в сторону звука , откуда идут стоны. Как подошел и вижу , мужик валяется , а встать не может. Он мне говорит <br /> - "Мужик, я так подскользнулся , что болит жутко нога и я ей немогу пошевелить , не могу встать , телефон дома забыл , помоги , пожалуйста" <br /> -Я: Сейчас, позову на помощь!!<br /> У меня телефон разрядился, ну я давай быстро ь бежать домой , чтоб вызвать скорую , пробегая всего 5 шагов я падаю .<br /> Пиздец , я так уебался спиной, просто ахуеть . Этот дибил со сломаной ногой ржет блять , А Я ВСТАТЬ НЕ МОГУ , так спиной уебаться - просто пиздец. 10 часов вечера. Мы блять уже 30 мин кричим "Помогите!!!!" Но все сука глухие , никто не слышит прям , глухие стали блять.<br /> Мы никого не могли позвать , ибо никто не отзывался и не было средств связей. Уже холодно сука , замерз пздц , встать не могу и вижу , что на 4ом этаже , на балконе стоит моя и чет делает . Я мужику кричу<br /> -"Кричи сука , кричи нахуй, как буд-то тебя в жопу ебут"<br /> Мы начали орать во весь голос и о ЧУДО , ОНА ОТКРЫЛА ОКНО. Я ей кричу "Машенька , любимая , помоги нам" Она все сразу схватывает на лету(огромный плюс у нее ) Она побежала чет делать , а мы валяемся все еще на льду и говорю мужику<br /> "Сейчас нас моя девушка спасет , спасибо ей скажешь и шампанское с тебя ". Слышу , она бежит и говорит громко "Рома , Ромка , скорая помощь уже направляется к тебе " <br /> У нас в подьезде дверь (Дамофон) то-ли в низ провалилась или вообще хз. Короче , надо было немного голову опустить это для Роста (180 и более ) , чтоб не биться об верхушку двери (Работники уебаны уже сколько обещают сделать , а не делают) Моя девушка ростом 183, да , кобыла пиздец. Она бежит к нам не смотря под ноги и , что вообще впереди...<br /> О боже , она голову не опустила и со всей дури Ебалом об верхушку НА НАХУЙ!!!! Стук был четкий. <br /> Она упала и пиздец. Я в ахуе <br /> Мужик ржет и говорит "Походу у вас все такие в семье , что ты , что она. Че это девушка нам не помогает твоя?"<br /> Я: Закройся!!!!<br /> "Она кажется в откл" подумал я и давай опять кричать во всю ей "Маша , сука , встань, я тебе ногу обоссу , если не встанешь ". Нету изменений , так и валяется и мы заодно. Через 10 мин она встала , мы блять с мужиком от счастья чуть-ли не писались в штаны, И, как вы думаете , через два шага она ОПЯТЬ уебалась. Телефон вылетает нахуй с рук и летит к ебеням в снег. Она встала и пошла за ним , Я начал орать " попроси помощи у соседей, забей хуй на телефон , ТОЛЬКО МЕДЛЕННО , ПРОШУ!!!!" Пока она пойдет за этим телефоном ,она уебется несколько раз так и не дойдя до него. Она пошла медленно в подьезд и быстро побежала наверх по лестнице .... Вызвали скорую, мужика увезли(Перелом ноги у него ) , меня в скорой машине посмотрели и отнесли домой , сказали , что ушиб на спине пиздец какой. Тип дома надо лежать 2-3 недели, упражнения делать для спины и т.д. Вот , сижу и пишу вам эту историю с больной спиной. 10 мин назад эта хуйня наебнулась с супом на пол. Эх...<br /> Люблю ее, рукожопую </p> |
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"body": "<p> Дарова , ребят.<br />\nУ меня вот такая вот история, произошло это неделю назад.<br />\nНачну все с подробностей <br />\nМеня зовут Рома 20 лет, живу я с девушкой Марией(ей 21). Живем в сьемной квартире(Квартира на 4 ом этаже), работаю в кафе поваром , она дизайнер , работает только дома.<br />\nНа жизнь нам хватает, грубо говоря - "Не жалуемся"<br />\nСкажу так.... Мария - девушка-ХАУС. Ибо она может просто идти , СПОКОЙНО идти ,споткнуться об свою ногу и уебаться еблом об шкаф или пол(Немного по возмущается "Блиин , мой носик " тип такого), встать спокойно и пойти дальше по своим делам. Как не странно , она ничего себе не сломала во время наших отношений (3 года) Знаете , у меня уже это автоматом все выработалось , что-то разобьется или нахуй перевернется у нас в квартире - Маша уебалась или как-то ночью что-то перевернется (Многие бы напугались , тип кто-то на кухне все сносит и разбивает) А это Машенька жрать в 4 часа ночи пошла, ебанутая-ебанушка (Ест она по ночам редко , но были моменты пиздец). Она не толстая, фигура красивая, а жрет больше чем я и не толстеет 0_0....Сейчас зима , смотрю в окно , идет Маша с магазина. И пока она шла- уебалась 4 раза блять(гололед на улице ) после работы я чуть-ли не бежал домой чтоб посрать и ниразу не уебался еще, а она уебалась уже 4 раза блять за 5 мин возле подьезда.<br />\nИ так.... Суббота , иду я домой с работы прикупив пива и чипсов для посиделки за компом. Хуль , сегодня ведь суббота , а завтра выходной . Подхожу к дому , мой подьезд впереди и слышу стоны. Встал и начинаю прислушиваться.<br />\nИду в сторону звука , откуда идут стоны. Как подошел и вижу , мужик валяется , а встать не может. Он мне говорит <br />\n- "Мужик, я так подскользнулся , что болит жутко нога и я ей немогу пошевелить , не могу встать , телефон дома забыл , помоги , пожалуйста" <br />\n-Я: Сейчас, позову на помощь!!<br />\nУ меня телефон разрядился, ну я давай быстро ь бежать домой , чтоб вызвать скорую , пробегая всего 5 шагов я падаю .<br />\nПиздец , я так уебался спиной, просто ахуеть . Этот дибил со сломаной ногой ржет блять , А Я ВСТАТЬ НЕ МОГУ , так спиной уебаться - просто пиздец. 10 часов вечера. Мы блять уже 30 мин кричим "Помогите!!!!" Но все сука глухие , никто не слышит прям , глухие стали блять.<br />\nМы никого не могли позвать , ибо никто не отзывался и не было средств связей. Уже холодно сука , замерз пздц , встать не могу и вижу , что на 4ом этаже , на балконе стоит моя и чет делает . Я мужику кричу<br />\n-"Кричи сука , кричи нахуй, как буд-то тебя в жопу ебут"<br />\nМы начали орать во весь голос и о ЧУДО , ОНА ОТКРЫЛА ОКНО. Я ей кричу "Машенька , любимая , помоги нам" Она все сразу схватывает на лету(огромный плюс у нее ) Она побежала чет делать , а мы валяемся все еще на льду и говорю мужику<br />\n "Сейчас нас моя девушка спасет , спасибо ей скажешь и шампанское с тебя ". Слышу , она бежит и говорит громко "Рома , Ромка , скорая помощь уже направляется к тебе " <br />\nУ нас в подьезде дверь (Дамофон) то-ли в низ провалилась или вообще хз. Короче , надо было немного голову опустить это для Роста (180 и более ) , чтоб не биться об верхушку двери (Работники уебаны уже сколько обещают сделать , а не делают) Моя девушка ростом 183, да , кобыла пиздец. Она бежит к нам не смотря под ноги и , что вообще впереди...<br />\nО боже , она голову не опустила и со всей дури Ебалом об верхушку НА НАХУЙ!!!! Стук был четкий. <br />\nОна упала и пиздец. Я в ахуе <br />\nМужик ржет и говорит "Походу у вас все такие в семье , что ты , что она. Че это девушка нам не помогает твоя?"<br />\nЯ: Закройся!!!!<br />\n"Она кажется в откл" подумал я и давай опять кричать во всю ей "Маша , сука , встань, я тебе ногу обоссу , если не встанешь ". Нету изменений , так и валяется и мы заодно. Через 10 мин она встала , мы блять с мужиком от счастья чуть-ли не писались в штаны, И, как вы думаете , через два шага она ОПЯТЬ уебалась. Телефон вылетает нахуй с рук и летит к ебеням в снег. Она встала и пошла за ним , Я начал орать " попроси помощи у соседей, забей хуй на телефон , ТОЛЬКО МЕДЛЕННО , ПРОШУ!!!!" Пока она пойдет за этим телефоном ,она уебется несколько раз так и не дойдя до него. Она пошла медленно в подьезд и быстро побежала наверх по лестнице .... Вызвали скорую, мужика увезли(Перелом ноги у него ) , меня в скорой машине посмотрели и отнесли домой , сказали , что ушиб на спине пиздец какой. Тип дома надо лежать 2-3 недели, упражнения делать для спины и т.д. Вот , сижу и пишу вам эту историю с больной спиной. 10 мин назад эта хуйня наебнулась с супом на пол. Эх...<br />\nЛюблю ее, рукожопую </p>",
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}alectoupvoted (100.00%) @cheetah / re-world-news-are-there-any-trump-links-to-putin-20160727t121957
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}cire81upvoted (100.00%) @alecto / world-news-are-there-any-trump-links-to-putin
cire81upvoted (100.00%) @alecto / world-news-are-there-any-trump-links-to-putin
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| body | Hi! I am a content-detection robot. This post is to help manual curators; I have NOT flagged you. Here is similar content: http://www.rocketnews.com/2016/07/russia-with-love/ NOTE: I cannot tell if you are the author, so ensure you have proper verification in your post (or in a reply to me), for humans to check! |
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| body | ###  **[Donald J. Trump](https://twitter.com/@realDonaldTrump/status/757538729170964481)** tweeted @ 25 Jul 2016 - 11:31 UTC > The new joke in town is that Russia leaked the disastrous DNC e-mails, which should never have been written (stupid), because Putin likes me ###  **[Donald J. Trump](https://twitter.com/@realDonaldTrump/status/758071952498159616)** tweeted @ 26 Jul 2016 - 22:50 UTC > For the record, I have ZERO investments in Russia. ###### *Disclaimer: I am just a bot trying to be helpful.* |
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"body": "###  **[Donald J. Trump](https://twitter.com/@realDonaldTrump/status/757538729170964481)** tweeted @ 25 Jul 2016 - 11:31 UTC\n\n> The new joke in town is that Russia leaked the disastrous DNC e-mails, which should never have been written (stupid), because Putin likes me\n\n\n###  **[Donald J. Trump](https://twitter.com/@realDonaldTrump/status/758071952498159616)** tweeted @ 26 Jul 2016 - 22:50 UTC\n\n> For the record, I have ZERO investments in Russia.\n\n\n###### *Disclaimer: I am just a bot trying to be helpful.*",
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}alectoupvoted (100.00%) @alecto / world-news-are-there-any-trump-links-to-putin
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}alectopublished a new post: world-news-are-there-any-trump-links-to-putin
alectopublished a new post: world-news-are-there-any-trump-links-to-putin
| parent author | |
| parent permlink | politic |
| author | alecto |
| permlink | world-news-are-there-any-trump-links-to-putin |
| title | World news: Are there any Trump links to Putin? |
| body | <p> <strong>A hack of Democratic party emails has been blamed by Hillary Clinton's campaign team on Russian agents trying to help Republican Donald Trump. So are there really any links between the New York hotel developer and Moscow?</strong>Several pundits have raised questions about the businessman's ties to Russia, amid fears that Moscow could be interfering in the US election.Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov has strongly rejected the accusation that Russia was responsible for the hack."I don't want to use four-letter words" he said, when asked about the allegation.So what links are there between Mr Trump and Russia?</p> <h2>1. The email hack</h2> <p>The Democratic convention was supposed to be a seamless show of unity. But a data dump of Democratic National Committee emails has caused chaos in Philadelphia.The <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/25/us/politics/donald-trump-russia-emails.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=b-lede-package-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news" rel="noopener"><strong>New York Times later reported</strong></a> that "researchers have concluded that the national committee was breached by two Russian intelligence agencies".According to <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/07/25/fbi-suspects-russia-hacked-dnc-u-s-officials-say-it-was-to-elect-donald-trump.html" rel="noopener"><strong>the Daily Beast</strong></a>: "It's an operation that several US officials now suspect was a deliberate attempt to influence the presidential election in favor of Donald Trump."Trump and his aids have denied any connection, and there is no evidence linking Trump to the leak."The new joke in town is that Russia leaked the disastrous DNC e-mails, which should never have been written (stupid), because Putin likes me," Trump <a href="https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/757538729170964481" rel="noopener"><strong>tweeted</strong></a>.</p> <h2>2. Pro-Putin staff</h2> <p> Paul Manafort, Trump's campaign chairman, has spent decades as a political adviser in eastern Europe.Mr Manafort worked closely with former Ukrainian Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych, who was ousted from government in 2014 and is a<a href="http://www.politico.com/story/2014/03/paul-manafort-ukraine-104263" rel="noopener"> <strong>known ally of Vladimir Putin</strong></a>.<a href="http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/trump-putin-russia-connections" rel="noopener"><strong>According to Josh Marshall</strong></a>, one of the most vocal journalists questioning Mr Trump's Russian ties, his foreign policy advisor Carter Page has "deep and continuing financial and employment ties" to Gazprom, Russia's trillion dollar energy company."It is no exaggeration to say that you cannot be involved with Gazprom at the very high level which Page has been without being wholly in alignment with Putin's policies," Marshall writes.But in a critical response to Marshall, <a href="https://medium.com/@jeffreycarr/fact-checking-that-trump-putin-thing-8ed9fd850d40#.kqsmyemw6" rel="noopener"><strong>author Jeffery Carr</strong></a> notes that Mr Page "left Gazprom in 2007 and has made very little money from Russia ever since".<br /> </p> <h2>3. Changes to Republican manifesto</h2> <p>The Republican National Committee <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/global-opinions/trump-campaign-guts-gops-anti-russia-stance-on-ukraine/2016/07/18/98adb3b0-4cf3-11e6-a7d8-13d06b37f256_story.html" rel="noopener"><strong>shifted their stance on Russia</strong></a> under pressure from Trump staff in the days leading up to the convention in Cleveland last week.One delegate proposed an amendment calling for the US to provide eastern Ukraine with "lethal defensive weapons" in their ongoing struggle with Russian-backed rebels in the region.According to the Washington Post, Trump's allies pushed to weaken the statement, committing instead to providing "appropriate assistance".It was the only substantial change to the platform that Mr Trump's team requested, and it came as he <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/22/us/politics/donald-trump-foreign-policy-interview.html" rel="noopener"><strong>told the New York Times</strong></a> that he might not honour Nato commitments should Russia invade Baltic states.Still, the Post also notes that such a position, while out of step with basic Republican tenets, is not unheard of in Washington:<em>"President Obama decided not to authorise [sending lethal weapons to Ukraine], despite recommendations to do so from his top Europe officials in the State Department and the military."</em></p> <p> </p> <h2>4. Financial ties</h2> <p>Mr Trump no longer does business with many US banks. Instead, Marshall argues, Trump "has steadied and rebuilt his financial empire with a heavy reliance on capital from Russia".That includes "financing from questionable sources in Russia and Kazakhstan," according to a lawsuit uncovered by <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/06/us/politics/donald-trump-soho-settlement.html?_r=0" rel="noopener"><strong>the New York Times</strong></a>.Mr Trump himself <a href="https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/758071952498159616" rel="noopener"><strong>has said he has "zero investments" in Russia</strong></a>.And as Julia Ioffe writes in Foreign Policy, many companies pursued business in Russia, and Trump failed to make significant inroads in the country."The fact that Trump, after so many attempts and with such warm intentions toward the country, was not able to build anything in Russia- when Ritz Carlton and Kempinski and Radisson and Hilton and any number of Western hotel chains were able to - speaks to his abysmal lack of connections to influential Russians," she writes.It's not unusual for real estate companies to receive significant Russian business but there's no evidence that Trump's political views have been bought."Correlation does not prove causation. Just because funders might want to influence powerful people doesn't mean that they actually do," writes the<a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/07/25/is-donald-trump-a-putin-patsy/" rel="noopener"><strong>Washington Post's Daniel Drenzer.</strong></a> </p> <p> </p> <h2>5. 'Bromance'</h2> <p><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/politics/first-draft/2015/12/18/donald-trump-returns-vladimir-putins-admiration-looking-past-his-darker-side/" rel="noopener"><strong>Putin called Trump "bright"</strong></a> and "very talented". Trump has spoken with admiration on multiple occasions about Putin's political strength."What we have is a kind of bromance going on between Vladimir Putin and Trump," Clinton advisor Jon Podesta said on TV when asked about the email hack, noting there was no known connection between the two.President Barack Obama told NBC he did not know if the hack came from Russia but added: "What I do know is that Donald Trump has repeatedly expressed admiration for Vladmir Putin."And I think that Trump's gotten pretty favourable coverage back in Russia."Ioffe has reported that the Kremlin dislikes Clinton and sees a Trump presidency as one more <a href="http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2016/06/donald-trump-russia-putin-213956" rel="noopener"><strong>aligned with their interests</strong></a>.But that doesn't meant Mr Trump is in cahoots with Mr Putin. It is not illegal to speak glowingly of an American adversary, or to share similar political values.Judging by the latest polls, it's not a deal breaker for American voters, either. </p> |
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"body": "<p> <strong>A hack of Democratic party emails has been blamed by Hillary Clinton's campaign team on Russian agents trying to help Republican Donald Trump. So are there really any links between the New York hotel developer and Moscow?</strong>Several pundits have raised questions about the businessman's ties to Russia, amid fears that Moscow could be interfering in the US election.Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov has strongly rejected the accusation that Russia was responsible for the hack."I don't want to use four-letter words" he said, when asked about the allegation.So what links are there between Mr Trump and Russia?</p>\n<h2>1. The email hack</h2>\n<p>The Democratic convention was supposed to be a seamless show of unity. But a data dump of Democratic National Committee emails has caused chaos in Philadelphia.The <a href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/25/us/politics/donald-trump-russia-emails.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=b-lede-package-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>New York Times later reported</strong></a> that "researchers have concluded that the national committee was breached by two Russian intelligence agencies".According to <a href=\"http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/07/25/fbi-suspects-russia-hacked-dnc-u-s-officials-say-it-was-to-elect-donald-trump.html\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>the Daily Beast</strong></a>: "It's an operation that several US officials now suspect was a deliberate attempt to influence the presidential election in favor of Donald Trump."Trump and his aids have denied any connection, and there is no evidence linking Trump to the leak."The new joke in town is that Russia leaked the disastrous DNC e-mails, which should never have been written (stupid), because Putin likes me," Trump <a href=\"https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/757538729170964481\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>tweeted</strong></a>.</p>\n<h2>2. Pro-Putin staff</h2>\n<p> Paul Manafort, Trump's campaign chairman, has spent decades as a political adviser in eastern Europe.Mr Manafort worked closely with former Ukrainian Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych, who was ousted from government in 2014 and is a<a href=\"http://www.politico.com/story/2014/03/paul-manafort-ukraine-104263\" rel=\"noopener\"> <strong>known ally of Vladimir Putin</strong></a>.<a href=\"http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/trump-putin-russia-connections\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>According to Josh Marshall</strong></a>, one of the most vocal journalists questioning Mr Trump's Russian ties, his foreign policy advisor Carter Page has "deep and continuing financial and employment ties" to Gazprom, Russia's trillion dollar energy company."It is no exaggeration to say that you cannot be involved with Gazprom at the very high level which Page has been without being wholly in alignment with Putin's policies," Marshall writes.But in a critical response to Marshall, <a href=\"https://medium.com/@jeffreycarr/fact-checking-that-trump-putin-thing-8ed9fd850d40#.kqsmyemw6\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>author Jeffery Carr</strong></a> notes that Mr Page "left Gazprom in 2007 and has made very little money from Russia ever since".<br />\n </p>\n<h2>3. Changes to Republican manifesto</h2>\n<p>The Republican National Committee <a href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/global-opinions/trump-campaign-guts-gops-anti-russia-stance-on-ukraine/2016/07/18/98adb3b0-4cf3-11e6-a7d8-13d06b37f256_story.html\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>shifted their stance on Russia</strong></a> under pressure from Trump staff in the days leading up to the convention in Cleveland last week.One delegate proposed an amendment calling for the US to provide eastern Ukraine with "lethal defensive weapons" in their ongoing struggle with Russian-backed rebels in the region.According to the Washington Post, Trump's allies pushed to weaken the statement, committing instead to providing "appropriate assistance".It was the only substantial change to the platform that Mr Trump's team requested, and it came as he <a href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/22/us/politics/donald-trump-foreign-policy-interview.html\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>told the New York Times</strong></a> that he might not honour Nato commitments should Russia invade Baltic states.Still, the Post also notes that such a position, while out of step with basic Republican tenets, is not unheard of in Washington:<em>"President Obama decided not to authorise [sending lethal weapons to Ukraine], despite recommendations to do so from his top Europe officials in the State Department and the military."</em></p>\n<p> </p>\n<h2>4. Financial ties</h2>\n<p>Mr Trump no longer does business with many US banks. Instead, Marshall argues, Trump "has steadied and rebuilt his financial empire with a heavy reliance on capital from Russia".That includes "financing from questionable sources in Russia and Kazakhstan," according to a lawsuit uncovered by <a href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/06/us/politics/donald-trump-soho-settlement.html?_r=0\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>the New York Times</strong></a>.Mr Trump himself <a href=\"https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/758071952498159616\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>has said he has "zero investments" in Russia</strong></a>.And as Julia Ioffe writes in Foreign Policy, many companies pursued business in Russia, and Trump failed to make significant inroads in the country."The fact that Trump, after so many attempts and with such warm intentions toward the country, was not able to build anything in Russia- when Ritz Carlton and Kempinski and Radisson and Hilton and any number of Western hotel chains were able to - speaks to his abysmal lack of connections to influential Russians," she writes.It's not unusual for real estate companies to receive significant Russian business but there's no evidence that Trump's political views have been bought."Correlation does not prove causation. Just because funders might want to influence powerful people doesn't mean that they actually do," writes the<a href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/07/25/is-donald-trump-a-putin-patsy/\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>Washington Post's Daniel Drenzer.</strong></a> </p>\n<p> </p>\n<h2>5. 'Bromance'</h2>\n<p><a href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/politics/first-draft/2015/12/18/donald-trump-returns-vladimir-putins-admiration-looking-past-his-darker-side/\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>Putin called Trump "bright"</strong></a> and "very talented". Trump has spoken with admiration on multiple occasions about Putin's political strength."What we have is a kind of bromance going on between Vladimir Putin and Trump," Clinton advisor Jon Podesta said on TV when asked about the email hack, noting there was no known connection between the two.President Barack Obama told NBC he did not know if the hack came from Russia but added: "What I do know is that Donald Trump has repeatedly expressed admiration for Vladmir Putin."And I think that Trump's gotten pretty favourable coverage back in Russia."Ioffe has reported that the Kremlin dislikes Clinton and sees a Trump presidency as one more <a href=\"http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2016/06/donald-trump-russia-putin-213956\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>aligned with their interests</strong></a>.But that doesn't meant Mr Trump is in cahoots with Mr Putin. It is not illegal to speak glowingly of an American adversary, or to share similar political values.Judging by the latest polls, it's not a deal breaker for American voters, either. </p>",
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| title | Fun! Jokes! |
| body | <p><br /></p> <h3>1. Poet: Have you got my books of poems? </h3> <h3>Lady: Oh, yes, I have. It is lovely! I wonder where it is…</h3> <h3>Lady’s little son: It is under the leg of the table, Mummy.</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>2. Passerby: Why are you crying, little girl? </h3> <h3>Little girl: Because my brother has holiday and I don’t!</h3> <h3>Passerby: Well, why don’t you have holidays?</h3> <h3>Little girl: Because I do not go to school.</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>3. Bessie is a little girl. She is only five. She does not go to school and, of course, she does not know how to read and to write. But her sister Mary is a schoolgirl. She is ten. One day Mary sees her little sister at the table with a pen in her hand and some paper in front of her. “What are you doing, Bessie?” she says. Bessie answers: “I am writing a letter to my friend Kitty.” But you don’t know how to write,” says her sister. “Well,” says Bessie, “it doesn’t matter, because Kitty does not know how to read.”</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>4. Mother: Kitty, what is Ada doing? </h3> <h3>Kitty: Well, if the ice is as thick as she thinks it is, she is skating, but if it is as thin as I think, she is swimming.</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>5. Teacher: When it is cold, all things shrink and when it is warm, they expand. Who can give me an example? </h3> <h3>Student: I can. The days in winter are short and the days in summer are long.</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>6. Boy: I want some hay, please. </h3> <h3>Farmer: For your father, my boy?</h3> <h3>Boy: No, for the horse. Father does not eat hay.</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>7. Two men, who are in the country for holidays, are walking in an orchard. They see that there are a lot of apples on all trees. Only on one tree there are no apples at all. A small country boy is sitting near that tree. They call him: “Come here, boy. Do you know why there are no apples on this tree?” “Of course I do,” answers the boy, “because it’s an oak-tree.”</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>8. Guest: Why is your dog sitting here and watching me eat? </h3> <h3>Hotel host: I don’t know, it is probably because you are eating off the plate he usually eats off.</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>9. Willie is at the party. There are a lot of things on the table. “Do you want something more, Willie?” asks the host. “No, thank you,” answers Willie. “I am full.” “Well then,” smiles the host, “put some fruits and cakes in your pocket to eat on the way home.” “No, thank you,” answers Willie, “they are full too.”</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>10. On a fine day in June two students are sitting in a big city park. They have come to read for their examination and to have some rest. One of them says: “What a beautiful place to study in!” “Come, come,” says the other, “I think it’s a place where you really forget about studies.”</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>11. A nervous lady asked the captain in alarm: “ What will happen if we strike a large iceberg?” “The iceberg will pass along us as if nothing has happened,” answered the captain. The old lady sighed with relief.</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>12. John worked as a cabin boy on a small ship. One morning he brought in breakfast for the captain and said: “May I ask you something, sir?” “Of course you may,” said the captain who saw that the boy looked alarmed. “What is it?” “Can you say that you have lost a thing you know where it is?’ “Of course you can’t say you have lost it,” answered the captain. “Then I haven’t lost your coffee-pot because I know where it is,” said John with a smile. “Where is it?” asked the captain. “At the bottom of the sea.”</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>13. Driver (waking up): Where am I? Where am I?</h3> <h3>Doctor: This is No 127.</h3> <h3>Driver: Room or cell?</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>14. Boy: Can you see anything in the sky with this telescope? </h3> <h3>Man: Yes, my boy.</h3> <h3>Boy: Then where’s the balloon I lostthis morning?</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>15. Billy’s friends are calling him outside to play football. “Not now,” says Billy. “First I have to play the piano, then do my lessons and clean the rooms. Only after that I am allowed to go out. So wait for me after fifteen minutes.”</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>16. The class is having a gym lesson. The students are doing “the bike-riding” exercise. Only Tom is not moving his legs. “Why aren’t you moving your legs?” the sports master asks. “I don’t need to. Right now I am riding down the mountain side.”</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>17. Language specialists claim that the five sweetest phrases in speech are: 1) I love you 2) Dinner is served 3) All is forgiven 4) Sleep until noon 5) Keep the change. There are those who choose to add: You have lost your weight.</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>18. Two friends meet. The first asks: “Have you got a cigarette?” “No, I no longer buy them,” answers the second. “Why not?” “To stop your smoking”.</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>19. A woman came to a teacher and said to him: “I want to teach my son a foreign language.” “Certainly, madam,” said the teacher, “Which language do you want to teach him – French, Italian, Spanish?” “Which is the most foreign?” asked the woman.</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>20. Buyer: I would like to have the book entitled “How to become a polyglot in 10 days”.</h3> <h3>Bookseller: Science fiction in the next department, please.</h3> <p><br /></p> <h3>21. Two men were leaving a museum. One of them said: “That was a pretty big tip you gave to the checkroom girl.” “It seemed only fair,” said the other, “Look at the beautiful new overcoat she gave me!”</h3> |
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"title": "Fun! Jokes!",
"body": "<p><br /></p>\n<h3>1. Poet: Have you got my books of poems? </h3>\n<h3>Lady: Oh, yes, I have. It is lovely! I wonder where it is…</h3>\n<h3>Lady’s little son: It is under the leg of the table, Mummy.</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>2. Passerby: Why are you crying, little girl? </h3>\n<h3>Little girl: Because my brother has holiday and I don’t!</h3>\n<h3>Passerby: Well, why don’t you have holidays?</h3>\n<h3>Little girl: Because I do not go to school.</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>3. Bessie is a little girl. She is only five. She does not go to school and, of course, she does not know how to read and to write. But her sister Mary is a schoolgirl. She is ten. One day Mary sees her little sister at the table with a pen in her hand and some paper in front of her. “What are you doing, Bessie?” she says. Bessie answers: “I am writing a letter to my friend Kitty.” But you don’t know how to write,” says her sister. “Well,” says Bessie, “it doesn’t matter, because Kitty does not know how to read.”</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>4. Mother: Kitty, what is Ada doing? </h3>\n<h3>Kitty: Well, if the ice is as thick as she thinks it is, she is skating, but if it is as thin as I think, she is swimming.</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>5. Teacher: When it is cold, all things shrink and when it is warm, they expand. Who can give me an example? </h3>\n<h3>Student: I can. The days in winter are short and the days in summer are long.</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>6. Boy: I want some hay, please. </h3>\n<h3>Farmer: For your father, my boy?</h3>\n<h3>Boy: No, for the horse. Father does not eat hay.</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>7. Two men, who are in the country for holidays, are walking in an orchard. They see that there are a lot of apples on all trees. Only on one tree there are no apples at all. A small country boy is sitting near that tree. They call him: “Come here, boy. Do you know why there are no apples on this tree?” “Of course I do,” answers the boy, “because it’s an oak-tree.”</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>8. Guest: Why is your dog sitting here and watching me eat? </h3>\n<h3>Hotel host: I don’t know, it is probably because you are eating off the plate he usually eats off.</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>9. Willie is at the party. There are a lot of things on the table. “Do you want something more, Willie?” asks the host. “No, thank you,” answers Willie. “I am full.” “Well then,” smiles the host, “put some fruits and cakes in your pocket to eat on the way home.” “No, thank you,” answers Willie, “they are full too.”</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>10. On a fine day in June two students are sitting in a big city park. They have come to read for their examination and to have some rest. One of them says: “What a beautiful place to study in!” “Come, come,” says the other, “I think it’s a place where you really forget about studies.”</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>11. A nervous lady asked the captain in alarm: “ What will happen if we strike a large iceberg?” “The iceberg will pass along us as if nothing has happened,” answered the captain. The old lady sighed with relief.</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>12. John worked as a cabin boy on a small ship. One morning he brought in breakfast for the captain and said: “May I ask you something, sir?” “Of course you may,” said the captain who saw that the boy looked alarmed. “What is it?” “Can you say that you have lost a thing you know where it is?’ “Of course you can’t say you have lost it,” answered the captain. “Then I haven’t lost your coffee-pot because I know where it is,” said John with a smile. “Where is it?” asked the captain. “At the bottom of the sea.”</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>13. Driver (waking up): Where am I? Where am I?</h3>\n<h3>Doctor: This is No 127.</h3>\n<h3>Driver: Room or cell?</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>14. Boy: Can you see anything in the sky with this telescope? </h3>\n<h3>Man: Yes, my boy.</h3>\n<h3>Boy: Then where’s the balloon I lostthis morning?</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>15. Billy’s friends are calling him outside to play football. “Not now,” says Billy. “First I have to play the piano, then do my lessons and clean the rooms. Only after that I am allowed to go out. So wait for me after fifteen minutes.”</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>16. The class is having a gym lesson. The students are doing “the bike-riding” exercise. Only Tom is not moving his legs. “Why aren’t you moving your legs?” the sports master asks. “I don’t need to. Right now I am riding down the mountain side.”</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>17. Language specialists claim that the five sweetest phrases in speech are: 1) I love you 2) Dinner is served 3) All is forgiven 4) Sleep until noon 5) Keep the change. There are those who choose to add: You have lost your weight.</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>18. Two friends meet. The first asks: “Have you got a cigarette?” “No, I no longer buy them,” answers the second. “Why not?” “To stop your smoking”.</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>19. A woman came to a teacher and said to him: “I want to teach my son a foreign language.” “Certainly, madam,” said the teacher, “Which language do you want to teach him – French, Italian, Spanish?” “Which is the most foreign?” asked the woman.</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>20. Buyer: I would like to have the book entitled “How to become a polyglot in 10 days”.</h3>\n<h3>Bookseller: Science fiction in the next department, please.</h3>\n<p><br /></p>\n<h3>21. Two men were leaving a museum. One of them said: “That was a pretty big tip you gave to the checkroom girl.” “It seemed only fair,” said the other, “Look at the beautiful new overcoat she gave me!”</h3>",
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]
}Manabar
Voting Power100.00%
Downvote Power100.00%
Resource Credits100.00%
Reputation Progress0.00%
{
"voting_manabar": {
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"last_update_time": 1469625681
},
"downvote_manabar": {
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"rc_account": {
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},
"max_rc_creation_adjustment": {
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"precision": 6,
"nai": "@@000000037"
},
"max_rc": "14291743212"
}
}Account Metadata
| POSTING JSON METADATA | |
| None | |
| JSON METADATA | |
| None |
{
"posting_json_metadata": {},
"json_metadata": {}
}Auth Keys
Owner
Single Signature
Public Keys
STM7o25WUvbcaBn18NKox2TvPggHCsWhMC65Zfzb3YcZvQ7aRp3tY1/1
Active
Single Signature
Public Keys
STM7uHRZKVQB4y1xBStY6Qq4KiAiJ4VhqbP8jNqx6e6zjitocQw7Z1/1
Posting
Single Signature
Public Keys
STM7n9wRi62ZGWW13imya8XA6bnUn3ZDeFUX9tZWY1UyewHSccZYY1/1
Memo
STM5gEUJwgxWk8HTEhkSUkWsfTmQT1mPpQKuT2kSf8tBPHSe4HKsF
{
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}Witness Votes
0 / 30
No active witness votes.
[]