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| comment | | "parent_author":"",<br>"parent_permlink":"happy",<br>"author":"s-dbraybrook",<br>"permlink":"what-i-really-know",<br>"title":"What I really know",<br>"body":"![DGH_0794.jpg (https:\/\/steemitimages.com\/DQmXGDbcm8XNntmzBDCfvvsGyJcjWJXo5R7ZTDSG34K1Knd\/DGH_0794.jpg)\nI did a little experiment when I first got on Steemit. I called it my love challenge. I wanted to see how many people responded to loving and beautiful words and pictures when they were given a choice between that and mainstream news. \nThe news is daunting to watch as it is so scripted and such bullshit. I am awake to the fact that mainstream anything is all fake and just glamorized for profit. If we are always tuned into mind- numbing television and computer screens without filtering what we watch then we are bound to this crazy matrix around us. \n# The kardashians,<br> pizzagate,<br> presidents,<br> taylor swift...these things are not mainstream news...they are propaganda and misleading and I am tired of hearing about it. \nI wanted to be the change I want to see so I decided to post happy and joyful and meaningful blogs about my ever changing life. The many ups and downs that I have experienced in the past 47 years really seemed book worthy. So now I blog\nI feel like now,<br> right this minute,<br> I am the happiest person I have ever been and I keep getting happier. I post constant positive and reassuring comments to my friends and family. I am no longer struggling to say happy things. My heart is happy and content. \nI wasn't always this way. I have thought a great deal about my past 10 years of illness and I realized that I did it to myself. I created 4 tumors. I survived 4 tumors. Each one more frightening than the last. As I sit here now I realize that I didn't want to even live back then.. I was incredibly unhappy in my marriage and work life. My body was out of shape and I pushed myself too hard but,<br> my subconsceious had a different path to take me on. It had other plans. I guess after 1 marriage,<br> some kids,<br> lots of education and crazy ups and downs,<br> I feel entitled to say that I was so happy to get each tumor! Every time,<br> it opened my mind up to more and more about my mental state. \nI felt horrible as a teen,<br> anxiety and depression. I felt horrible as a mom,<br> no patience for bullshit. I felt horrible as a wife. Just not happy. So,<br> I kept feeding that monster. I fed it so much that it made my body sick...Really sick. I truly wasn't interested in being around much longer. Until two years ago. That's the time that I almost lost my husband to heart failure. I was going through 1 more tumor surgery. Fuck. Fun times. \nI looked at my love,<br> my rock and saw a man that was so scared and broken and hurting. He fought every single minute until he was strong enough to carry me around. *I was his reason to fight so hard.* That sunk deep into my soul and he and I have been so happy and excited about life again. I felt something so much deeper than love during the months of his recovery. I cared about him too much to ever give up on myself again. I needed to get happy no matter what it took! Fast forward to today where my man and I have been free and clear of any illness for over 2 years. I realized I was kidding myself about what was making me sick...nothing on the outside. Nobody was doing this to me. It was me. I was toxic.\n# Toxic words. Toxic thoughts. Toxic foods. \nJust putting in and containing so much unhappiness breeds more sickness. I get that now. I have a second chance to make things a billion times better and I am. I have chickens,<br> a loving husband,<br> stable kids,<br> great health and a new outlook on everything. It's like the veil was lifted and I am now awake to happiness. It was always in me,<br> I just never let it out. I have never laughed as much as I have in the past year. I live each day in love. I forgive everyone for everything. I am only here to experience life in the best way I can. This is your right too. It's a gift we all have. To go out and do the things that make you happy. Pull yourself out of sickness and sadness. Try really hard to be loving. I am not kidding you when I say it is miraculous. It feels like I don't have a mask on anymore. I can be me and I can be genuine. \n\nWell,<br> remember I was doing an experiment about putting positivity out there. I can say that I am probably $500 richer from Steemit just by posting positive and loving posts and comments. Facebook is difficult to crack through to happiness but if you block the *shit* ...it stays away. \n\nI was gonna add pictures and stuff but nah.\n\nThanks for the love and I hope you have a fantastic life!\n\n![shannon.jpg (https:\/\/steemitimages.com\/DQmRnSGtuJy6wF2NJvQM39RZ5ueyx2ECUG6uyaY27MWirw2\/shannon.jpg)",<br>"json_metadata":" \"tags\":[\"happy\",<br>\"happiness\",<br>\"writing\",<br>\"positive\",<br>\"steemit\" ,<br>\"image\":[\"https:\/\/steemitimages.com\/DQmXGDbcm8XNntmzBDCfvvsGyJcjWJXo5R7ZTDSG34K1Knd\/DGH_0794.jpg\",<br>\"https:\/\/steemitimages.com\/DQmRnSGtuJy6wF2NJvQM39RZ5ueyx2ECUG6uyaY27MWirw2\/shannon.jpg\" ,<br>\"app\":\"steemit\/0.1\",<br>\"format\":\"markdown\" " | | vote | "voter":"s-dbraybrook",
"author":"s-dbraybrook",
"permlink":"what-i-really-know",
"weight":10000 |
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