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| comment | | "parent_author":"",<br>"parent_permlink":"story",<br>"author":"shaularosa",<br>"permlink":"memories-in-the-trash-story",<br>"title":"Memories in the trash (story)",<br>"body":"![IMG01552-20141122-2354.jpg (https:\/\/steemitimages.com\/DQmbWe4NFn53KF8DBCKFmpattYV98McccRZKBNb8H4Rbq5s\/IMG01552-20141122-2354.jpg)I can not sleep ... the energy is so hot that I even feel like I can melt the sheets ... I close my eyes and I can not ... I just can not ... what do I do with this before I can kill myself? I do not want to destroy myself again ... I do not want to hold anything ... but never ... I get up and I fell on my knees ... I can not take it anymore. I crawl to the door and my knees feel the dirt of the floor .. and as the stones are stuck in my skin .. I can not stand being dry and my face is soaked with tears again ... I just can not stand .. it's over .. I do not disguise anything. I can not just turn off with sleep this icy chaos that I feel inside of me ... all the arrogance I had had 4 hours ago was gone ... there was only weakness ... and my latent wound only had it closer and closer my eyes and my senses ... I sit with my back to the wall .. and while I cry I touch my chest saying that I do not want to use you more ... I do not want .. I should not .. I already feel terror .. it causes me to get into a chest and expose yourself with a grenade ... that you disappear .. and do not ever feel more ... love ... that blessed feeling that today became cursed and hurtful ... I understand why people use more their gray matter ... that what,<br> today I finish killing myself ... I hate you love .. abstract feeling .. you lifted me up and you sunk me ... you smothered me with every word I read .. lust killed you .. the desire you I kick ... and even so .. they say that you are the purest feeling that exists ... however ... I always wanted to show you the best way ... thinking that \"love with love is paid\" ! Worldly lies only to create false hopes .. capable the disappointment blinds me .. but it shows me the reality .. raw .. piercing .. heartbreaking .. it shows me the power of the words that become nightmares ... I do not want to remember them ... I do not want them to become part of my subconscious and appear night after night ... I do not even want to grab the phone and see every picture that takes every test of the damage you did to me ... masochism? Or a help to remind me of who you are ... I feel you cut me off when I tried to be strong when my storm passed ... but that's life,<br> is not it? It gives you a whole day ... and the next one leaves you with nothing ... without a drop of love ... without a drop of desire to live ... that's when the fortress appears and you have to decide whether to let yourself be swept away by the current to kill you or swim to the shore to walk again even if you are full of blows and scars that have not started to heal. I was blind in your eyes ... because you always looked at me with love ... and when hatred appeared you could not see me in the face ... that's why I feel it was very easy to finish everything this way ... as easy as closing a laptop. A simple message saying \"it's over\" ... I would never have the courage to do that to the person I love ... that's running away? Or just not being able to face the real reaction ... see how the other person falls ... I just do not understand ... I can not ... I did not deserve it ... that way ... I did not want to finish the story any other way. ..because I'm not anyone ... I'm worth more than a simple ... goodbye in a chat. Or so I thought.",<br>"json_metadata":" \"tags\":[\"story\",<br>\"thealliance\",<br>\"writing\",<br>\"curie\" ,<br>\"image\":[\"https:\/\/steemitimages.com\/DQmbWe4NFn53KF8DBCKFmpattYV98McccRZKBNb8H4Rbq5s\/IMG01552-20141122-2354.jpg\" ,<br>\"app\":\"steemit\/0.1\",<br>\"format\":\"markdown\" " |
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