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| comment | | "parent_author":"",<br>"parent_permlink":"fiction",<br>"author":"johnjgeddes",<br>"permlink":"see-the-sea-she-s-my-love-who-always-returns-and-i-want-to-be-with-her-except-she-s-dead",<br>"title":"see the sea ...She\u2019s my love who always returns and I want to be with her,<br> except she\u2019s dead.",<br>"body":"<br> <br> <center>https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/6228a9d98f.jpg<\/center>\n\n<br> <br> I have sea fever. Not to be in it,<br> or on it\u2014just to be beside it and near it. \n\nI long for my Florida Gulf beach house,<br> steps from the ocean and the lonely clouds and the sky.\n\nI hear waves crashing and see the green swell rising.\n\nI watch a kite that broke its tether being swept up to the clouds and then far out to sea\u2026 and for all I know,<br> it\u2019s still sailing free,<br> wild with the wind and sky.\n\n<br> <br> I\u2019m a New York city detective and when I fly south,<br> I take my young men\u2019s ghosts with me\u2014the ones I\u2019ve killed whose faces still haunt me. I leave behind the foul streets and quiet menace of gangs and sit on my beach with a glass of wine. I watch the sun set with all the colors of a bruise and start to slowly heal.\n\nAnd then Jordan comes to me. She\u2019s my love who always returns and I want to be with her,<br> except,<br> she\u2019s dead.\n\nIt started years ago,<br> one October day. I walked to The Sandbar Restaurant,<br> bought lunch and sat sipping ale and enjoying the breeze. \n\n<br> <br> <center>https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/61cd0e3726.jpg<\/center>\n\n<br> <br> \u201cYou like it here,<br> don\u2019t you?\u201d\n\nI turned back from gazing at the waves and looked into the eyes of the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was wearing a red polka dot dress and the sun was backlighting her honey hair. She had freckles and soft brown eyes and I must have looked a fool\u2014I just stared.\n\n\u201cYou just like watching\u2014or,<br> do you talk?\u201d\n\n\u201cOh,<br> I\u2019m sorry\u2014you\u2019re right\u2014I do like it here and as you can see,<br> end up off somewhere lost in my thoughts.\u201d\n\n\u201cKinda like a brown stare,<br> huh? The sea will do that to you.\u201d\n\n<br> <br> I was thinking more about she was doing to me\u2014I could have stared at her forever and never have gotten tired.\n\n\u201cAre you from around here?\u201d \n\nShe nodded and pointed back up the beach in the direction of my house. \u201cI often hang out here. I like the calm.\u201d\n\nI nodded. I wasn\u2019t sure if she was referring to the bar,<br> the beach or the area around my house,<br> but I already had come across as dumb and figured at this point,<br> less was more.\n\n<br> <br> Suddenly,<br> she got up. \n\n\u201cAre you leaving?\u201d I asked,<br> disappointed she was going so soon.\n\n\u201cI was heading back up the beach,<br> but when I saw you,<br> I couldn\u2019t resist stopping to chat\u2014you seem to love this place as much as me.\u201d\n\n\u201cI do love it\u2014By the way,<br> do you mind if I walk back with you?\u201d\n\nShe held out a freckled arm and took my hand in hers. \u201cI\u2019d like that. C\u2019mon.\u201d\n\n<br> <br> She was as simple and free as a child. There was a shy innocence about her and just being with her filled me with joy.\n\n\u201cOh,<br> I\u2019m Tom\u2014Tom Cameron.\u201d\n\n\u201cI\u2019m Jordan Logan.\u201d\n\n\u201cAre you down here with family?\u201d\n\nShe shook her head. \u201cNope,<br> just by myself. I\u2019m very independent,<br> I\u2019m told\u2014but I\u2019ve always been that way.\u201d \n\n\u201cAre you staying in a hotel?\u201d\n\n\u201cNo,<br> I stay a little further up the beach from you.\u201d\n\n<br> <br> I tried to picture where she lived,<br> but honestly,<br> I had never gone up the beach in that direction. I was drawn to the bar and the fisherman\u2019s wharf beyond\u2014and other than that,<br> I\u2019d drive to Sarasota if I were bored and spend the day there.\n\n I guess I was like her\u2014independent\u2014maybe even a loner.\n\n\u201cI saw you sitting watching the sunset the other night.\u201d\n\n\u201cYou did?\u201d\n\n<br> <br> <center> https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/61d8a6b17f.png<\/center>\n\n<br> <br> \u201cI didn\u2019t want to bother you. Watching sunsets are sacred moments\u2014they\u2019re not to be interrupted.\u201d\n\n\u201cThey could be shared,<br>\u201d I smiled.\n\n\u201cOnly with a good friend or someone you love\u2014someone you can be quiet with.\u201d\n\n\u201cAmen,<br>\u201d I said quietly.\n\n\u201cYou understand then? Good. I thought you were sensitive.\u201d\n\n<br> <br> I gave a cynical chuckle. \u201cThat\u2019s not exactly part of my job description.\u201d\n\n\u201cNo? What do you do?\u201d\n\n\u201cI\u2019m a New York police detective.\u201d\n\n\u201cYou\u2019re very young,<br>\u201d she frowned.\n\n\u201cI\u2019m thirty-two.\u201d\n\n\u201cYou look a lot younger.\u201d\n\n\u201cThank you,<br> I guess.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat about you?\u201d\n\n\u201cI\u2019m a student\u2014but I\u2019m not in school now.\u201d\n\n\u201cTaking some time off?\u201d\n\nShe smiled. \u201cYou could say that.\u201d\n\n<br> <br> <center> https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/61e52de521.jpg<\/center>\n\n<br> <br> We were at my summerhouse now.\n\n \u201cSay,<br> could you come in for a drink?\u201d\n\nAgain,<br> the smile. \u201cI don\u2019t think that would be a good idea.\u201d\n\nActually,<br> I thought it\u2019d be a very good idea. I tried not to show my disappointment.\n\n\u201cOh well,<br> another time,<br> perhaps.\u201d\n\n\u201cPerhaps. I\u2019d better go. I\u2019ll see you around.\u201d\n\n\u201cNice meeting you,<br> Jordan.\u201d\n\nShe turned and smiled and put one hand up to steady the brown straw hat she wore. \u201cNice meeting you too,<br> Tom.\u201d\n\n<br> <br> I watched her walk slowly up the beach and felt an aching for her deep in my heart. It was weird\u2014we had just met,<br> but I felt drawn to her by some irresistible force.\n\nI could do nothing the rest of the day. I had to be outside\u2014couldn\u2019t stay in the house. I had to watch the clouds and the sky and the long white waves rolling endlessly to the shore.\n\nWhen I blinked or closed my eyes,<br> I saw her lovely face. When the wind sighed in the trees,<br> I heard her voice. *Tom*. The way she said my name echoed through my brain. I was infatuated,<br> enamored,<br> obsessed. I needed her.\n\n<br> <br> The next day it rained. I was disconsolate,<br> but I walked the beach anyway and allowed the rain to soak me to the skin. I went to the Sandbar and sat at a window seat,<br> staring at the gray and white billows and the pewter swell. The beach was brown and covered with seaweed\u2014a lone heron stood solitary in the shallows\u2014an image of my interior landscape.\n\n<br> <br> <center> https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/565835c688.jpg<\/center>\n\n<br> <br> Back at the summerhouse,<br> the rain splattered the window and the fire bubbled in the grate. I tried to imagine her face and conjure her likeness,<br> but could not. \n\nWhy didn\u2019t I walk her home?\n\n<br> <br> The following day I went to Sarasota on business and didn\u2019t return until just past two. Hurriedly,<br> I changed into a t-shirt and cargo pants,<br> rolled to the knees,<br> and ran down the beach to the Sandbar and sat at my usual table.\n\nIt took me an hour,<br> before I allowed the sun to soothe me and my body to relax. My thoughts kept returning to the girl and I was consumed with a mixture of hope and fear\u2014hope she\u2019d show up and fear she wouldn\u2019t.\n\nThe waiting was intolerable. Alfred Hitchcock once said,<br> suspense came not in action,<br> but anticipation\u2014I now understood what he meant.\n\nGulls were crying and circling in the distance and a young boy was practicing in the shallows with a skim board.\n\n<br> <br> \u201cYou came back,<br>\u201d said a girl\u2019s voice from behind me.\n\nMy heart leapt out of my chest. \u201cJordan!\u201d\n\nI turned and looked into the face of the young waitress.\n\n\u201cNo,<br> Michelle,<br>\u201d she said sadly. \u201cSorry to bother you,<br> but you left your sunnies yesterday.\u201d \n\nShe had a slight Australian accent.\n\n\u201cOh,<br> thank you,<br>\u201d I sighed,<br> taking the sunglasses.\n\n\u201cWere you expecting someone?\u201d\n\n\u201cA young girl I met\u2014perhaps,<br> you know her\u2014Jordan Logan?\u201d\n\nThe girl\u2019s face fell and she looked devastated. She turned and hurried away,<br> tears streaming down her face.\n\nI felt completely helpless. I was at a loss as to how I offended her. I waited,<br> but she didn\u2019t return.\n\n<br> <br> I walked down the beach toward my house and then changed my mind and sat down amid some dunes set back from the beach. \n\n<br> <br> <center> https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/61eb1479fd.jpg<\/center>\n\n<br> <br> As I was trying to come to terms with what occurred,<br> I saw the young waitress walking by,<br> her work shift evidently over. I ran and caught up with her.\n\n\u201cMichelle\u2014I\u2019m sorry\u2014I don\u2019t know what I said to upset you. Are you all right?\u201d\n\nHer face was still puffy and her eyes swollen.\n\n\u201cPlease,<br> leave me alone.\u201d\n\nOrdinarily,<br> I would have,<br> but something snapped inside me. Instead,<br> I reached out and grabbed her hand.\n\n<br> <br> \u201cWhy did you burst into tears when I mentioned Jordan\u2019s name?\u201d\n\n\u201cJordan was my friend\u2014she died last year in a surfing accident.\u201d\n\n\u201cMaybe we\u2019re not talking about the same woman.\u201d\n\nShe reached into her wallet and pulled out a photo. It was Jordan Logan. The shock hit me with such force that my knees gave out and I sunk to the sand.\n\n\n<br> <br> Michelle and I have since become good friends\u2014she\u2019s a lot like Jordan in ways. Neither of us can explain what happened to me. \n\nI get what I call thunderbolts and I start to shake when I think about that day.\n\nI keep returning to the summerhouse each October and each time I do,<br> I catch a glimpse of Jordan\u2014sometimes walking along the beach,<br> sometimes sitting outside my house,<br> staring at the waves.\n\nIt\u2019s always the same\u2014I approach and she leaves\u2014fades right away.\n\n<br> <br> Michelle and I are getting closer though,<br> each time I return\u2014who knows? Maybe that was Jordan\u2019s plan all along.\n\nSometimes I think she\u2019s like that kite I lost\u2014sailing free,<br> wild with the wind and sky.\n\nMaybe she likes it here and keeps coming back,<br> just like me.\n\nOr maybe she\u2019s lonely too,<br> and wants Michelle and I to comfort each other.\n\nThen again,<br> we might all just continue on,<br> remembering,<br> and growing old by the sea.\n\n<br> <br> <center> https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/61f0eaddb2.jpg<\/center>\n\n<br> <br> <center> \u00a9 2017,<br> John J Geddes. All rights reserved.<\/center>\n\n<br> <br> <center>Image credits: https:\/\/goo.gl\/images\/CiddZq,<br> https:\/\/goo.gl\/images\/0SyAyK,<br> \nand pics by @countrygirl <\/center>",<br>"json_metadata":" \"tags\":[\"fiction\",<br>\"story\",<br>\"writing\",<br>\"love\",<br>\"photography\" ,<br>\"users\":[\"countrygirl\" ,<br>\"image\":[\"https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/6228a9d98f.jpg\",<br>\"https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/61cd0e3726.jpg\",<br>\"https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/61d8a6b17f.png\",<br>\"https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/61e52de521.jpg\",<br>\"https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/565835c688.jpg\",<br>\"https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/61eb1479fd.jpg\",<br>\"https:\/\/i.imgsafe.org\/61f0eaddb2.jpg\" ,<br>\"links\":[\"https:\/\/goo.gl\/images\/CiddZq\" ,<br>\"app\":\"steemit\/0.1\",<br>\"format\":\"markdown\" " | | vote | "voter":"johnjgeddes",
"author":"johnjgeddes",
"permlink":"see-the-sea-she-s-my-love-who-always-returns-and-i-want-to-be-with-her-except-she-s-dead",
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