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| comment | | "parent_author":"",<br>"parent_permlink":"comedy",<br>"author":"steeminganarchy",<br>"permlink":"adventures-in-evil-zombieland-episode-2",<br>"title":"Adventures In Evil Zombieland Episode 2",<br>"body":"<html>\n<p><img src=\"https:\/\/encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com\/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ26MxkqriXw5Mm7-fY4OSMpnTW8tFTaYzVMDm_yBOFAIGG9QjI\" width=\"275\" height=\"183\"\/><\/p>\n<p> In this episode of Adventures in Evil Zombieland,<br> we see a clever cognitive chica shine some light on the dark zombie blue of the state\u2019s henchmen crew. <br>\n <\/p>\n<p> It\u2019s Saturday night and downtown anywhere USSA is humming with nightlife and a pinch of debauchery. A simple man wants to do a simple thing and cross a street. Feeling like he is a fully grown adult and capable of taking this action without getting hit by a car and\/or causing mayhem with oncoming traffic,<br> this regular Joe boldly sets off to accomplish this task without the aide of any traffic signals. <\/p>\n<p> He easily completes this daring endeavor and is immediately stopped by two men in blue costumes with guns. For the sake of the dialogue,<br> we\u2019ll from this point forward refer to this unfortunate cast of characters as Regular Joe,<br> Thief One,<br> and Criminal Two. <\/p>\n<p> \u201cWhoa,<br> looky what we have here!\u201d Thief One joyously exclaims as he steps in front of Regular Joe. Criminal Two shakes his head disapprovingly as he pats his potbelly and says,<br> \u201cYep,<br> another jaywalking sinner. You too good to cross at the crosswalk like everyone else?\u201d <br>\n <\/p>\n<p> Regular Joe is caught off guard and pleads his case,<br> \u201cWhat? Well,<br> there weren\u2019t any cars coming so I thought I\u2019d.\u201d <\/p>\n<p> He gets cut off by a chuckling Thief One,<br> \u201cThought! We\u2019ll teach you to think! Are you resisting?\u201d <br>\n <\/p>\n<p> \u201cNo,<br> huh,<br> what?\u201d Joe stutters in fear. <\/p>\n<p> Just at that moment,<br> the group is approached by a woman who decides to not mind her own business. She sees someone\u2019s rights being violated and she\u2019s damn sure gonna take action. We\u2019ll call her \u201cVoluntary Vicki\u201d. <br>\n <\/p>\n<p>Voluntary Vicki puts her hands on her hips near the group and asks with confident sass,<br> \u201cIs it Halloween? What\u2019s with the costumes,<br> there,<br> gents?\u201d <\/p>\n<p> The thief and criminal look into each other\u2019s lobsteresque eyes and shrug their shoulders. \u201cBe on your way,<br> this doesn\u2019t concern you,<br>\u201d Criminal barks. <br>\n<\/p>\n<p> \u201cYou\u2019re violating this man\u2019s rights,<br> so I\u2019m afraid it is my business. You two appear to be holding him at gunpoint and I have a moral obligation to do what\u2019s right. May I ask what has brought on this violent affair?\u201d Vicki inquired calmly and fearlessly. <\/p>\n<p> Getting a big flustered,<br> Thief wrinkles his creepy paedo-porn-like mustache and turns his attention to the feisty lady. \u201cHe was jaywalking,<br> and if you know what\u2019s best for you,<br> you\u2019ll be on your way,<br>\u201d he slobbered. <br>\n <\/p>\n<p> \u201cYou mean he was crossing the street by his own free will and using his own instincts of self-preservation in order to accomplish this safely. Now you two are holding him at gunpoint and extorting money from him? That\u2019s how it is in reality,<br> can you see?\u201d Vicki eagerly blasted truth at the surprised trio. <\/p>\n<p> Regular Joe at this point has a look on his face as if he has just had an epiphany and starts shaking his head slowly in understanding. \u201cWow,<br> I never looked at it that way,<br>\u201d he concedes. <br>\n<\/p>\n<p> \u201cAll right,<br> that\u2019s enough!\u201d shouts Thief One. <\/p>\n<p> \u201cYou\u2019re both under arrest!\u201d Criminal Two bellows as he reaches for his cuffs. <br>\n<\/p>\n<p> \u201cI was just crossing the street!\u201d yells Joe,<br> now getting fired up after that heavy dose of truth from Voluntary Vicki. <br>\n<\/p>\n<p> \u201cAnd I was just speaking!\u201d Vicki added emphatically. Just as Criminal is about to put cuffs on Vicki,<br> she yells,<br> \u201cHey,<br> a demented psycho-killer clown! Ahhhhhh!\u201d <\/p>\n<p> This distracts Thief and Criminal just long enough,<br> due to their sub-room-temperature IQ\u2019s,<br> for Vicki to yell,<br> \u201cRun!\u201d <br>\n <\/p>\n<p>She and Joe dash daringly away and the two pudgy patrolmen lag behind for a few moments until our heroes are out of sight. <br>\n<\/p>\n<p> Vicki and Joe hop into Vicki\u2019s hotrod dubbed \u201cAnarcho-mobile\u201d and speed off through the night with a tantalizing tad of freedom amiably added to the universe. <br>\n<\/p>\n<p> I love happy endings,<br> don\u2019t you? <\/p>\n<p><strong>For more of my writings,<br> feel free to visit http:\/\/makingtheoligarchyobsolete.blogspot.com\/<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Cheers!<br>\n <br>\n <br>\n <\/p>\n<\/html>",<br>"json_metadata":" \"tags\":[\"comedy\",<br>\"anarchy\",<br>\"politics\",<br>\"government\",<br>\"story\" ,<br>\"image\":[\"https:\/\/encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com\/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ26MxkqriXw5Mm7-fY4OSMpnTW8tFTaYzVMDm_yBOFAIGG9QjI\" ,<br>\"links\":[\"http:\/\/makingtheoligarchyobsolete.blogspot.com\/\" " |
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