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| comment | | "parent_author":"",<br>"parent_permlink":"powerhousecreatives",<br>"author":"fenngen",<br>"permlink":"tastes-like-paradise",<br>"title":"Tastes like paradise",<br>"body":"When I introduced myself I forgot to say I\u2019m completely nuts. Not because I want to be,<br> but because of all the evidence I encounter myself daily with. It is very common of me to begin the day putting off all bad thoughts and an hour later been obsessively talking about that which I had supposedly dismissed. I crave for love when it\u2019s not here and reject it when it is near. Only insane people do that.\n\nIt\u2019s a nice way to pass the time being crazy though. You can never get bored. You get anxious,<br> you get scared. You get excited. You get emotional. You get angry. You get happy. But never bored. Sometimes you can get really hilarious,<br> at least to yourself. Like getting your own joke so well you just don\u2019t care.\n\nSometimes I think all of you people from Steemit might not even exist. That it\u2019s just me talking to myself through a nice little fantasy that keeps me hooked into the Matrix. Sometimes I feel an awesome empathy and understanding from this community and that thought finds it\u2019s way into the shadows.\n\nI\u2019m sure I\u2019m not the only one who goes through this kind of process. It just kind of surprises me how my mind never seems to keep one idea for a long time. I know I have a big troll within my mind the tells me to doubt everything. But I also think that judging that part of me is not accepting myself as I am. \n\nCould I accept myself as such? As a doubter? And the answer is pretty obvious. Where there is doubt,<br> there is no acceptance. I can doubt. But I should never doubt why I doubt. \n\nI like to write and show my shadow. Though I shouldn\u2019t call it \u201cmy\u201d shadow because I don\u2019t think anyone should be property of anyone. I usually ignore this while writing,<br> should pay more attention. I think the best free-feeling-breath comes embracing the idea that nothing belongs to you and you belong to nothing. I know many differ on this point and sometimes that also makes me feel crazy.\n\nIt makes me question if I am dysfunctional in someway. Why do I not bond with others in that manner? Why do I find everyone I meet to be extremely possessive? Is it because I don\u2019t set boundaries? Or have I gotten to the point where I am too defensive to let anyone inside my inner shelter?\n\nI have to admit that searching for transcendence is a fucked up labor. Once you start the search there\u2019s just no stopping in the middle of the road. Either you go for it all the way or you don\u2019t. Many are wise and search for balance,<br> but us crazies just can\u2019t do that. We are running towards heaven cause hell is catching up quickly.\n\nAnyway,<br> I write this because it must be written. None of the before said will stick around in my mind for long and I highly doubt it will stick in yours. Probably will be eating an orange in a while. Oranges in the morning taste like paradise.\n\n![b95li1.jpg (https:\/\/img.esteem.app\/b95li1.jpg)\n[Source (https:\/\/pixabay.com\/es\/photos\/cal-el-agua-burbujas-macro-luz-316742\/)",<br>"json_metadata":" \"links\":[\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/es\/photos\/cal-el-agua-burbujas-macro-luz-316742\/\" ,<br>\"image\":[\"https:\/\/img.esteem.app\/b95li1.jpg\" ,<br>\"tags\":[\"powerhousecreatives\",<br>\"creativecoin\",<br>\"palnet\",<br>\"writing\",<br>\"blog\",<br>\"poetry\",<br>\"rambling\" ,<br>\"app\":\"esteem\/2.2.2-surfer\",<br>\"format\":\"markdown+html\",<br>\"community\":\"esteem.app\" " | | comment_options | "author":"fenngen",
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