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| comment | | "parent_author":"",<br>"parent_permlink":"nottheonion",<br>"author":"charzard10",<br>"permlink":"when-my-wife-asks-me-to-get-lettuce-on-the-way-home",<br>"title":"When my wife asks me to get lettuce on the way home...",<br>"body":"Hey Steemers! My name is Charlie and for my first post I'm going to tell you a true,<br> short story about what happened today. Hope you enjoy!\n\nI work at a golf course in Scottsdale,<br> Arizona. There's this couple who lives on the golf course and they're gone for the summer every year. They have a pet desert tortoise,<br> named Bubba,<br> who lives in their yard,<br> and the couple pays me to feed Bubba every few days throughout the summer.\n\nI take lettuce from my fridge to feed Bubba,<br> because nobody will miss lettuce,<br> right? I was wrong. But at least Bubba enjoyed it:\nhttp:\/\/i.imgur.com\/0v7a9Q0.jpg\n\nFast forward several hours. I'm on my way home from work with a massive headache when my wife calls wanting lettuce for her taco dip. She wants me to go 10 minutes out of my way to get her some damn lettuce. What the wife wants,<br> the wife gets. AmIRight guys? Some people call what's about to happen \"lazy,<br>\" but I don't want to put labels on things. Let's call me \"opportunistic\" instead. What happens next...should we call it destiny? Fate? Nah,<br> definitely God's will. I see a Taco Bell out of the corner of my eye. PERFECT! The stars are aligning today,<br> I tell myself.\n\nI pull into the drive thru:\nDrive Thru Dude: \"Welcome to Taco Bell,<br> what can I get for you today?\"\nMe: \"This might sound like a strange request...Can I get 10 sides of lettuce,<br> please?\"\nDrive Thru Dude: \"Lettuce? All you want is lettuce?!?\"\nMe: \"Correct.\"\nDrive Thru Dude: \"Uh okay,<br> how about we just give you 1 large side instead?\"\nMe: \"That's perfect!\"\nDrive Thru Dude: \"Alright,<br> that'll be $1.11\"\n\nhttp:\/\/i.imgur.com\/kHr5zT6.jpg\n\nHappy wife,<br> happy life. \u00a1Live M\u00e1s!",<br>"json_metadata":" \"tags\":[\"nottheonion\",<br>\"writing\",<br>\"story\",<br>\"funny\" ,<br>\"image\":[\"http:\/\/i.imgur.com\/0v7a9Q0.jpg\" " |
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