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      "title": "The Truth About Harv - a Channel Announcement",
      "body": "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-L4uSgCvxc\n\nOh Tally Ho! I suppose by now you realise I'm the intellect behind Popcorn Lobotomy. Always have been, always will be, you see, dear boy?\n\nRecently, I have received several electronic communiques addressing, enquiring about, or otherwise referencing Harv, the so-called \"creator\" who was previously in my employ to generate content for this channel. \n\nI did think this was made perfectly clear in previous addresses, but I thought perhaps an updated reiteration might ram the point home, so to speak.\n\nSo... sigh... Here it is again, for the slow ones.\n\nFor quite some time now, Harv has no longer been \"in the house\" -- is that how the young one's express it? Harv has \"left the building\", so to speak. He made like a tree and branched out into a vast forest of unemployment.\n\nIn short, and in plain language, he split like a MK Ultra subject's core personality, never to be reassembled again. Capisce?\n\nNow, the reasons and circumstances are quite frankly none of anybody's business, but for 2 or 3 of you who inexplicably consider yourselves \"fans\" and are holding onto the hope that you may one day see the resurgence of his Scathing Reviews, those awful Rap Reviews or heaven forbid his conspiratorial series \"A Deeper Look\", I will acquiesce to provide some transparency and elaboration.\n\nYou see... oh dear boy, I'll just say it... you see, there is no hope of Harv's resurgence, for the simple and inescapable fact that Harv... Harv is dead. There is no doubt, no grey area, and most importantly... no HOPE. I attended his burial myself. He is under the ground and will remain there for eternity.\n\nI am, of course, as upset as a ridiculously tiny percentage of you might be, and I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but he's not coming back, and you'd do well to just forget him completely. \n\nI mean, I apologise for saying this, but it's true. His legacy is hardly worthy of note, is it? It's full of fart jokes and insults levelled at perfectly nice celebrities and actors -- some of which are the sons and daughters of very good friends of mine.\n\nAnd then there are the conspiracy theories. I guess it was on the cards all along, but toward the end Harv went more than a little loopy. He started saying things, and levelling ACCUSATIONS, to the extent myself and my associates wondered if it could upset the calm order of polite society.\n\nIt's really quite embarrassing, when you think about it. I mean, really? Talk of elites and agendas and alien plots... He was supposed to placating the masses with light entertainments and commentary about popular culture and blockbuster fare. \n\nHe was supposed to keep you focused on your stories and your media, not distract you from them with so-called \"woke\" revelations, and he quite simply didn't do his job, I'm afraid. So I fired him and yes he fell into depression and eventual suicide but that can hardly be blamed on ME, can it? He was probably just trying to Martyr himself and if that's the case he got exactly what he deserved.\n\nIt's not that I didn't have SOME fondness for the dear boy. I mean, for heaven's sake, I picked him up from the gutter and took him in and trained him, and made him the presenter that he was, flawed as that may have been. \n\nIf you have a look at his early work and what we had to start with, it's a miracle he was able to talk to a camera at all. I mean he was insecure and awkward and... in a lot of ways I was impressed with what he did. There I said it.\n\nNow, elephant in the room. I'm aware there's a collection of \"after-credit\" scenes on some of my videos one of which depicts Harv being carried off in the trunk of my car. You'll notice it shows neither my face or Harv's and it was an embellishment of my editor, who was also summarily fired for his insubordination.\n\nI'm relying on you, as a viewer, to be able to separate fiction from reality, and I hope you truly can. We've had enough tragedy and drama on this channel, and I just want to move forward.\n\nAnd in that light, you may have noticed that I have added a new series to the roster, and a new host, and this is all in the service of honouring some of Harv's best work on this channel. Yes, I did enjoy... well... SOME of it.\n\nHencetoforth, we have resurrected Harv's series \"Freeze Frame\", the premise of which was to examine a small moment in a particular film and discuss how it affects the larger narrative. I have known Trendin Van Der Click for many years and hopefully you find him a refreshing change of pace, and, it almost goes without saying, a much more polished presenter than Harv ever was.\n\nIn his honour, though, you see. It's all in Harv's honour...\n\nWe also have young Orville back to resume his celebrity interviews, now that he has recovered from some minor alterations to his progra -- I mean alterations to his attitude. Yes his attitude.\n\nYou see, I was unhappy with how he treated Gwyneth Paltrow, who is a beautiful, generous and delightful philanthropist who is doing wonders for the health of well-to-do women's private parts everywhere. \n\nWe can't be treating our guest with such disdain, can we? It's good to see he has improved in his latest videos, and you can expect many fruitful contributions from Orville and his Honest Interviews show in the future.\n\nThank you for your ongoing support of Popcorn Lobotomy, and I hope you enjoy the gifts we have planned for you, for which, as I've said many times, you're very welcome.",
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      "body": "Hey Carl, thanks for the comment. I've added it to my channel links -- thanks for the reminder.",
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      "body": "Hi @popcornlobotomy, great review.  I am more than a little sick of the need to provide some kind of psychological backstory / justification for heroes and villains.  I want superhero movies to be superhero movies and they don't have to explain everything.  Particularly because the kinds of explanations that screenplay writers come up with and shoehorn into the constraints demanded by the action set pieces are typically terrible and don't make any sense anyway on deeper inspection.  \n\nI have a question - can you confirm ownership of this content you are posting on Steem blockchain?  I note that you do not have your Steem(it) blog listed in your social media sites on either the website http://popcornlobotomy.com, nor on the youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6_Wyo8pxbH9bJt1vptBzGA\n\nWould you mind adding a back link to your Steem blog on one of those channels to verify ownership of content?  Cheers - Carl",
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      "title": "Glass - A Popcorn Lobotomy Elite Review",
      "body": "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFzRYWeEvPY\n\nGlass is a 2019 film starring Samuel L Jackson, Bruce Willis, James McEvoy and Sarah Paulson. It's directed by M Night Shyamalan and forms a continuation -- and apparently conclusion -- of his hit duology of popular fillums \"Unbreakable\" and \"Split\".\n\nAnd while Glass is bound to get a lot of flack for subverting fan expectation, it is actually a pretty effective and intelligent conclusion to the trilogy. However, that doesn't mean the film isn't somewhat problematic, and it has caused a bit of discussion amongst myself and my upper class associates.\n\nOn the face of it, M Night seems to have \"slipped one by us\" so to speak, and I'm sure he thinks he has scored a point in the psychological war for humanity's soul. But has he really? I will explain, dear boy.\n\nMay I present the Popcorn Lobotomy Elite Review of \"Glass\".\n\n---\n\nSo let's get this out of the way. This is going to be a spoiler review so if you haven't seen the film yet, and you care to, please trot along to your local cinemaplex and watch it.\n\nSo let me just say that M Night Shyamalan has shown himself quite adept at being a slippery little character in more ways than one.\n\nOn a narrative level, \"Glass\" certainly forms a worthy conclusion to the Unbreakable universe trilogy and contains enough twists and turns in it's story to keep the audience guessing -- but the real twist here is that it manages to culminate in a surprising anti-establishment allegorical message.\n\nI guess we should have expected nothing less from a director who's capable of making the revelation that he is making a trilogy as the twist ending of the second film in the trilogy itself, eh? Even saying it out loud proves quite the sexual violation of one's head.\n\nPoint being, with the rise of phenomenon like the yellow vests in France, and an apparent growing sense of dissatisfaction in people around the world, the last thing we need is more revolutionary sentiment being peppered into popular culture.\n\nAnd yet, M Night saw fit to give us exactly that. And now, I guess we'll just have to deal with it!\n\n\"Glass\" intertwines the stories of Elijah Price, David Dunn and Kevin Wendell Crumb almost immediately by quite skilfully manoeuvring them into the same mental asylum where we last saw Elijah at the conclusion of Unbreakable. M Night wastes no time in getting to the meat of the story and giving himself an excuse to have his 3 protagonists interact.\n\nIt's quite a joy to see all these characters together and explore how they relate to one another. Once again James McAvoy's portrayal of an individual with Dissociative Identity Disorder is a pure pleasure to watch, and is the stand out acting in this film overall.\n\nOf course, as one who understands the process of Monarch pro -- er I mean someone who has encountered the psychological disorder in real life -- one might argue it's not an accurate representation. \n\nI mean imagine if people could actually become so perfectly dissociative from such a mild trauma as parental abuse! Heck, if my daughter had had such predilections, she might still be alive today... but who cares when it's so gash darned watchable, am I correct?\n\nMost of the film deals with Elijah Price's secret plan to escape from the asylum and demonstrate to the world that people with special powers truly do exist. Of course, in order to do so, he intends to manipulate David Dunn and Kevin Wendell Crumb into battling in public, hence revealing their powers to the world.\n\nAs the story unfolds, one never quite knows where it is all going or how it will turn out, and the movie deliberately plays with that uncertainty. M Night skilfully uses our expectations from years of training watching idle comic book movie and subverts them to give us a surface level critique of the genre itself.\n\nAnd that's where I would have expected the meaning to end. As a clever commentary on the tropes of Superhero movies, Glass would have been a suitably disposable entertainment for the masses. It would have made you feel intellectually stimulated while simultaneously giving its audience nothing of true importance to chew on. It could have been exactly how we prefer popular culture to be -- engaging and distracting and feeling important, while actually being completely devoid of any fuel for the mind or, heaven forbid, food for the soul. \n\nQuite frankly, it feels like just yesterday we had to slip an oestrogen cocktail into Wachoski brothers' drinks to stop them inspiring a revolution in the populace, but it just keeps springing up like a never-ending game of whack-a-mole.\n\nBut no, M Night just HAD to imbue the climax of his film with a message, didn't he? \n\nThe key moment in the climax comes when Sarah Paulson's psychiatrist character offers her hand to David Dunn and reveals her true nature to him as he writhes on his deathbed.\n\nFlash to a crowded restaurant. Sarah Paulson is sharing a table with a bunch of faceless suited men. A patron leaves the restaurant, and they suddenly all stop talking. \"It's just us now\", one of the men says.\n\nAnd there we have it fellows, YET ANOTHER revelation of a supposed shadowy group of social manipulators! The real villains of the entire trilogy!\n\nAs I've said before, I'm getting well and truly sick of this portrayal of upper class philanthropists. All the secret groups I know about are doing nothing but necessary work, and to portray them in such cartoonish terms is rather abhorrent.\n\nBut \"Glass\" doesn't stop there. It's actually the final reveal of the film that forms the most concerning and reckless part of the film!\n\nElijah succeeds in his plan to expose the abilities of his cohorts by using footage from the security cameras in the asylum and he puts out a message that even average everyday people can be special and powerful, if only they let their abilities manifest. And that if they do, there's hope that the masses might rise up and defeat the shadowy group that oppresses them!\n\nWhat gets my goat, is that M Night implies that our primary concern... I mean their primary concern, this fictitious shadowy group... is keeping the population unaware of their own personal power. That we... I mean they... feel the need to dissuade special people from standing out and allowing their abilities to shine. \n \nWell let me tell you, dear boy, MY primary concern is NOT keeping you suppressed at all. You do an excellent job of that yourselves, and I thank you very much for that, I really do. \n\nHonestly, we barely have to do more than give you have easy access to a local McDonald's and you'll eat yourselves into a confused stupour to ensure you'll never amount to anything significant.\n\nAnd let's face it, we simply don't need a secret group to go around murdering people who might cause a revolution, because we have genetics on our side. A few feats of strength or even superpowers are no match for generations of superior breeding and genetic refinement.\n\nThe sad truth is, it's in your nature -- and your very DNA -- to be mediocre. You need no social or chemical engineering from us with your vacuous, philosophically juvenile understanding of the world. We just need to provide you with an abundance of beer towers, stuffed crust pizzas, soulless music and a few cat videos, and you'll take the initiative to spend your days \"vegging out\" and partying like a... how does the youth put it these days... \"like a savage\"?\n\nYes, you keep being \"savage\" because the shoe really does fit, doesn't it? The only evolution the human race has experienced has been imposed by us through conditioning. Without that you'd still be crawling around in caves, eating each other for resources and breeding like Viagra-fuelled varmint.\n\nBut we needn't worry about a little message in a movie like \"Glass\", need we? You don't have the attention span to notice it, nor the intellectual capability to comprehend. \n\nWe'll just defund the promotional material and distribute a few high profile negative reviews. You just stay asleep, because you know sleep it good. Sleep is nice. Sleep is comfortable.\n\nBecause you know as well as I do... the only power you truly have is that which we give you.",
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      "permlink": "in-defence-of-shaky-cam-the-car-chase-scene-from-bourne-supremacy-freeze-frame",
      "title": "In Defence of Shaky Cam: The Car Chase Scene from Bourne Supremacy - Freeze Frame",
      "body": "<a href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZd6Urqx8jg\">![PCL FFR EP002 - Bourne Supremacy - The Car Chase Scene.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmUz7PSFbxHwDRu2wAihVhA3dr5Nv7cXSYytTtWfBYnv7X/PCL%20FFR%20EP002%20-%20Bourne%20Supremacy%20-%20The%20Car%20Chase%20Scene.jpg)</a>\n\nClick to watch: <a href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZd6Urqx8jg\">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZd6Urqx8jg</a>\n\n---\n\nHowdy all, welcome to Freeze Frame, the show where we chase down tiny moments in film and \"drive\" our point home so recklessly someone's almost guaranteed to get hurt.\n\nI'm Trendin Van Der Click, and if there's one type of scene in movies that's overplayed and overused, it's the good old fashioned car chase. From Bullitt to Ronin to The Matrix Relaoaded, car chase scenes have been a staple of the action movie since... well I guess since we had cars and movie cameras. \n\nBut with the advent of digital technology, CGI, and budgets higher than the GDP of an average third world country, the whole idea of a car chase started to feel a little underwhelming.\n\nBut there's one car chase scene that we here are Popcorn Lobotomy think stands out from the crowd and perhaps even single-handedly reinvigorated the entire car chase sub-genre.\n\nToday let's talk about the car chase scene in The Bourne Supremacy.\n\n---\n\nPaul Greengrass was criticised heavily for his use of shaky-cam in the Bourne sequels -- and to some extent rightly so. As a lazy way to inject energy into a scene that would otherwise be lacklustre, it's a bit of a cheap trick.\n\nBut in Supremacy, it provided a visceral, personal and engaging experience, even if for an unfortunate few, that experience was vomiting up their KFC lunch into the toilet and missing the scene entirely!\n\nSo, why was the shakey-cam technique so successful in Supremacy, but when mimicked in subsequent films, it became confusing, annoying and occasionally nauseating?\n\nWell, I reckon there are two elements that makes a great car chase scene -- and indeed a great fight scene -- and niether of them involve camera work or music or exotic locations; but rather a couple of things you might find a little unexpected: \n\nThose two elements are strategy, and physics.\n\nThe best car chase scenes allow the audience to not just understand the action that's happening, but to follow the strategy that each participant is employing to outwit the other, and the physical forces they are exploiting in carrying out their strategy.\n\nIn Supremacy, the chase scene plays out like a classic fight scene. \n\nThe hero and the villain use their cars are weapons, engaging in a complex dance, staring each other down and jostling for position like a couple of medieval fencers.\n\nBut the struggle is presented as anything but elegant, as both participants grunt and sweat their way through it.\n\nSo by the time Jason Bourne shoots out his opponent's tyre and spins around 180 degrees to secure the dominant position, it's a relief to see the exhausting struggle finally coming to an end. It's a checkmate moment, and up until that point, you're probably not even aware their is a chess match going on!\n\nI don't know about you, but when it dawned on me what was about to happen, it's like a moment of beautiful clarity amidst the chaos, and gave me a rush of adrenaline like no other.\n\nAll of a sudden the shaky-cam becomes unnoticeable. You're simply in the car with the protagonists, with sharp glass and heavy steel flying around you at all sides -- and that's exactly where Paul Greengrass wants you.\n\nThe camera stays close, focussing on the small details of the participants' interactions. Clarity is achieved by quick editing that gives you precise glimpses of each element you need to understand the complex machnisations of the unfolding battle.\n\nYou see a tyre explode, a hand shifting gears and tyres spinning against ashphalt, then that rare longer shot where the cars glide gracefully into position.\n\nBourne's car is now driving his opponent forward, and he's totally in control. The assassin realises that no amount of breaking or turning of the wheel is going to save him.\n\nBourne slams his foot on the accelerator, braces for impact and BOOM! Wow, what an impact! Both cars are wrecked beyond recognition and while Jason Bourne is badly hurt, he made sure the impact would hurt his adversary even worse.\n\nNow you might be tempted to assume that Paul Greengrass shot this film in a haphazard run-and-gun style that mirrors the on-screen images, but from storyboards available online, it's clear that Greengrass meticulously planned each and every shot, just like most high budget Hollywood productions.\n\nIt is in the innovative shooting style that Greengrass created his truly unique experience, because he chose to shoot the film in a way that mimicks human sensory perception.\n\nThink about it. The fast cuts, breif glimpses of action and blurred, unstable images are exactly how our eyes experience the world. \n\nWe don't see our environment all in one go. Our eyes dart around, targeting details our brains deem important, until we have enough information to stich the complete image together in our minds like a mosaic.\n\nBut here's the catch. For this technique to work, the editing choices need to closely match the points of interest your brain would naturally generate. If the images flashing across the screen lack detail, or do not follow a coherent chain of events, we cannot assemble the overall picture and we feel confused.\n\nAnd that's what happened -- and continues to happen -- with a lot of action movies that attempt to mimick Greengrass's style. They just don't have the pre-planning and precise editing skills to pull it off, leaving us with confounding, jumbled scenes that obfuscate the action instead of enhancing it. \n\nSo I'm with the rest of you. Down with shaky-cam! Unless it's in the hands of Paul Greengrass, in which case, hell yeah, bring it on!\n\nSay what you will, but the techniques employed in Bourne Supremacy changed action films  for decades to follow, and we're still feeling the repercussions of it today.\n\nWatch the scene: \n\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzfSLgWkTlY",
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      "title": "The \"Joker's Magic Trick\" Scene from The Dark Knight - A Popcorn Lobotomy Freeze Frame",
      "body": "![PCL FFR EP001 - The Dark Knight - Joker's Magic Trick 6.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQowxAcHoUd1CEUXAga9SAyTviMHUvqhqTnS7cgMFzMDT/PCL%20FFR%20EP001%20-%20The%20Dark%20Knight%20-%20Joker's%20Magic%20Trick%206.jpg)\n\nClick to watch: <a href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFBeqWj8e68\">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFBeqWj8e68</a>\n\n---\n\nHowdy all, welcome to Freeze Frame, the show where we take small moments in film and show how they penetrate our minds.\n\nI'm Trendin Van Der Click, and enough has been said about The Dark Knight and it's virtual perfection as a comic book adaptation -- and, I suppose, as an action movie, a crime drama, a character study and maybe even a horror movie at times. \n\nI'm almost reticent to cover the movie at all, as it has been lauded and applauded by comic book fans, stuffy self-important critics and general popcorn munching audiences alike.\n\nBut there's this one scene in The Dark Knight that stands out as simultaneously brutal, shocking and humorous, while still moving the narrative forward and establishing character.\n\nYep guys, you guessed it, today we're gonna to talk about the \"magic trick\" scene in The Dark Knight.\n\n---\n\nFirst, let's a take a moment to pay respect to the late great Heath Ledger. I didn't know the guy and didn't really follow his work, but I was raised in a social media culture, so am compelled to virtue signal to you that I'm a caring and respectful person. \n\nBut then I acknowledged it self-deprecatingly, so it's ok...\n\nEvery villain needs a good introduction scene, and while this isn't the first time we've seen The Joker in the movie, it is the first time we've heard him speak. It's the establishing moment of one of the most iconic villains in comic book lore -- so while you already know he's brutal and capable of violence, in this scene we learn how his real underlying psyche plays out.\n\nAs he walks into the supposedly secure meeting between all the crime bosses of Gotham -- the very worst and most dangerous men in the city -- he gives off an air of both watchful caution and confident authority. His demeanour alone establishes the Joker as erratic but completely unafraid -- or perhaps just totally insane -- but either way, it's clear he's here to make an impression!\n\nTo dispel the idea that he's crazy and not in control, to the audience at least, the Joker sizes up the room and demonstrates he's able to judge it perfectly. Heath Ledger plays this scene with an incredible mix of power and insanity, underscored by the visible distraction of identifying who is going to be the one to stand up to him and become the victim of his magic trick.\n\nYou can see him thinking it through, searching the room as he speaks for that one guy he knows will inevitably try to take him down physically. But it's clear he has been planning for it from the moment he enters the room, and, like a bullied kid in a playground, he knows he needs to set an example.\n\nThe poor hapless red-shirt has barely left his chair by the time the Joker has his pencil set up and, while the room is full of intimidating criminals, you never really feel like the Joker is anything but in control.\n\nMagic tricks are proven to be irresistible, so when the Joker offers to perform one for the group, the child in them comes out and they can't help having their eyes light up, just a little, even though they are busy trying to be tough, hardened crime bosses.\n\nAnd BOOM! Pencil to the head and no one saw it coming -- or at least I didn't and won't believe you did even if you claim it, because it would necessitate acknowledging you're smarter than me! There's no blood or gore here and Christopher Nolan doesn't need it. You can feel the excruciating pain of the pencil pierce your skull as you watch the sudden movement.\n\nMore than just being a clever and brutal visual gag, making the pencil disappear is on-theme for a character called the Joker. Despite the horror of it, the trick is pretty funny, in a sick sort of way, and as an audience we don't know whether to laugh out loud, be delighted by the sheer visceral brutality, or recoil in horror. \n\nLike many brilliant scenes in movies, this one even reveals things about incendiary characters. For instance, you can tell by the way the crime bosses interact that one doesn't particularly mind that the other has had a pencil embedded in his brain and the other cares a whole lot more.\n\nIn fact, this all reflects the Joker's genius -- he has already understood this interplay and plays up his erratic theatre to the one who is responding. He converts this one guy into his advocate, and he is the one who eventually demands that the rest of them hear the Joker out. \n\nThis small interaction just enhances the scene as it demonstrates the complex and controlled shift of power from the crime bosses to the Joker.\n\nIf you think about how much you learn about the Joker in this scene, and this single motion, it's pretty much all you need to know about the movie's main antagonist. \n\nBut most importantly, it allows you as an audience member to understand that the ride you are about to take with this character is going to be terrifying, violent and unpredictable... but also utterly compelling and completely fascinating. \n\nAnd, at the end of the day, isn't the study of the insane, brilliant and brutal character of The Joker the single most important way this film justifies it's ticket price?\n\nThanks for listening to another episode of Freeze Frame, starring me, Trendin Van Der Click, and with any luck, we'll catch you next week!",
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      "body": "Congratulations @popcornlobotomy! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :\n\n[![](https://steemitimages.com/70x80/http://steemitboard.com/notifications/posts.png)](http://steemitboard.com/@popcornlobotomy) Award for the number of posts published\n\n<sub>_Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor._</sub>\n<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>\n\n\n\n> Support [SteemitBoard's project](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)! **[Vote for its witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1)** and **get one more award**!",
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      "title": "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - A Popcorn Lobotomy Elite Review",
      "body": "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxzjaPSqaqs\n\nJurassic World Fallen Kingdom is a 2018 film starring Star Lord, Richie Cunningham's daughter, Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs, the lanky guy from \"The Fly\" and a bunch of CGI dinosaurs. \n\nBut let's face it, the dinosaurs are always the stars of any of the Jurassic Park movies, except maybe the first one which had a plot and characters that made sense.\n\nIt's directed by J.A. Bayona or, as I like to call him: \n\nThe next up and coming fame whore director who'll work for scale for the vague promise of a career in Hollywood that will most likely remain frustratingly unfulfilled as we use him up and then spit him right back into the rancous pit of irrelevance and obscurity from whence he came.\n\nWelcome to the Popcorn Lobotomy Elite Review, of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.\n\n---\n\nNow I do feel compelled to present this critique as a SPOILER review, because I believe people need to become aware of some of the details of this movie to ensure they are thoroughly warned off ever seeing it.\n\nIt's as if this film was made by an idiot conspiracy theorist trying to expose supposedly secret upper class plots by shoehorning them into a beloved franchise that already had plenty of juicy material to mine for its 2 hour running time. I mean, it's simply ridiculous in its biases, which is unforgivable in what was supposed to be a fun summer blockbuster.\n\nThe only thing this movie has going for it is some minor competence in the craft of film-making. The cinematography is passable, and there were a few clever shots concocted -- such as the \"Children of Men\" style underwater one where Star Lord rescues Richie Cunningham's daughter from the spherical transport pod.\n\nAnd yes, I guess the dinosaurs look decent in SOME shots but in others, the appear utterly cartoonish -- but it's OK because, every minute or two, the so-called \"director\" throws in a nostalgia-ridden call back to the first couple of movies to distract you from watching too closely.\n\nBut to be honest, I doubt he thought about it all that much. He seems way more interested in exploring social justice \"issues\" and peddling thinly veiled conspiracy theories, in the most ham-fisted way possible. The list of issues he tackles, either directly or indirectly, includes animal rights, the military industrial complex, secret elite auctions and even clone rights!\n\nYes, he randomly decided to include a little girl in the film who was cloned... what's he trying to say here? That the elites can clone people for their own nefarious purposes, just like that movie The Island? Ridiculous!\n\nI guess J.A. Bayona thinks he's being \"edgy\", but all he proves is that the J.A. in his name probably stands for \"jackass\", because the whole catastrophe emerges as unintentionally hammy, like a feeble-minded Downs Syndrome child at the helm of a high tech state of the art Catamaran. \n\nAnd we can all relate to that analogy, can we not?\n\nBy far the most egregious aspect of the film is the cardboard cut-out way the upper class auction attendees are portrayed. They are the most simplistic cardboard cut-out \"evil elites\", ripped right out of the most extremist YouTube conspiracy documentary.\n\nI can tell you right now that I, and equally my associates, simply do not conform to such stereotypes and find the portrayal extremely offensive.\n\nBayona shows his true colours here, as he's obviously an infantile conspiracy theorist virtue signalling to his millennial audience that he's against all the things the cool kids are against.\n\nPlus c'mon people, those handlebar moustaches have been out of fashion for quite some time. Now more tasteful and modest bristles are preferable. Like mine, see, it's very elegant and well-kept.\n\nSince we're talking about the auction scene. Is it just me, or was that whole thing a subtle nod to these mythological \"human trafficking\" auctions, held in darkened rooms, where young girls and boys are bought and sold with supposed regularity? \n\nOf course such things exist purely in the sick fantasies of conspiracy theorist geek culture, and it's quite the unfortunate turn of events that idiot directors such as J.A. see fit to weave them into popular culture in an attempt to bring this non-issue to the masses. \n\nIf you buy into these events, please, you would be well-advised to desist immediately. I've ever seen one of these events, nor have I ever been invited to one, so you can trust that my assurance is sufficient: they simply do not exist. \n\nAnd I definitely WOULD be invited to such an event, if it indeed existed, because I'm just at that level... That's not to say I'd be invited because I'm interested in diddling children of course... which is a completely tasteless activity in which I have no interest.\n\nJust saying I could if I wanted to, as far as being able to afford the lavish price tag, you see, not that I would. I wouldn't. I just want to be clear about that... I mean... er... well, you get the idea.\n\nAnd of course it all devolved into that dreadful scene where the dinosaurs attack the so-called evil elites, and we as an audience were forced to witness them tossed around the room like corn kernels popping in a fry pan. \n\nI mean, the movie had established its villains so emphatically by then that it almost had ME cheering for all those evil plutocrats' demise! I had to check myself in the cinema and realise that what I was witnessing was actually the slaughter of completely innocent members of the investment class, who, if they had been portrayed realistically, would probably have been kindly philanthropists like myself, not psychopathic warmongers.\n\nNot to mention men of stature would never leave themselves so vulnerable to attack. We have security staff on hand to throw in front of us should such a predicament eventuate!\n\nIt was really quite traumatic and manipulative, and I give Bayona no credit for letting his irrational hatred of the elite influence his film, which was supposed to be a fun summer blockbuster, by the way. \n\nSo when his next film is some embarrassing, poorly financed, art house independent film that no one wants to see, I hope you'll be a little more enlightened on exactly why. To borrow a paraphrased line from Robert DeNiro in Copland, we gave you a chance to be a filmmaker, and you BLEW IT!\n\nI hope you enjoy begging on the film festival circuits for the rest of your non-starter of a career. I think we can all learn a valuable lesson from J.A. Bayona, can we not?",
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