VOTING POWER100.00%
DOWNVOTE POWER100.00%
RESOURCE CREDITS100.00%
REPUTATION PROGRESS0.00%
Net Worth
0.982USD
STEEM
0.000STEEM
SBD
0.000SBD
Own SP
16.939SP
Detailed Balance
| STEEM | ||
| balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| market_balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| savings_balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| reward_steem_balance | 0.000STEEM | STEEM |
| STEEM POWER | ||
| Own SP | 16.939SP | SP |
| Delegated Out | 0.000SP | SP |
| Delegation In | 0.000SP | SP |
| Effective Power | 16.939SP | SP |
| Reward SP (pending) | 0.000SP | SP |
| SBD | ||
| sbd_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| sbd_conversions | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| sbd_market_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| savings_sbd_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
| reward_sbd_balance | 0.000SBD | SBD |
{
"balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"savings_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"reward_steem_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"vesting_shares": "27544.588638 VESTS",
"delegated_vesting_shares": "0.000000 VESTS",
"received_vesting_shares": "0.000000 VESTS",
"sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"savings_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"reward_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"conversions": []
}Account Info
| name | linkgirl |
| id | 101178 |
| rank | 89,489 |
| reputation | 891750335 |
| created | 2016-10-02T20:58:36 |
| recovery_account | steem |
| proxy | None |
| post_count | 3 |
| comment_count | 0 |
| lifetime_vote_count | 0 |
| witnesses_voted_for | 0 |
| last_post | 2016-10-05T09:10:42 |
| last_root_post | 2016-10-04T21:35:12 |
| last_vote_time | 2016-10-06T20:35:00 |
| proxied_vsf_votes | 0, 0, 0, 0 |
| can_vote | 1 |
| voting_power | 9,950 |
| delayed_votes | 0 |
| balance | 0.000 STEEM |
| savings_balance | 0.000 STEEM |
| sbd_balance | 0.000 SBD |
| savings_sbd_balance | 0.000 SBD |
| vesting_shares | 27544.588638 VESTS |
| delegated_vesting_shares | 0.000000 VESTS |
| received_vesting_shares | 0.000000 VESTS |
| reward_vesting_balance | 0.000000 VESTS |
| vesting_balance | 0.000 STEEM |
| vesting_withdraw_rate | 0.000000 VESTS |
| next_vesting_withdrawal | 1969-12-31T23:59:59 |
| withdrawn | 0 |
| to_withdraw | 0 |
| withdraw_routes | 0 |
| savings_withdraw_requests | 0 |
| last_account_recovery | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| reset_account | null |
| last_owner_update | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| last_account_update | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| mined | No |
| sbd_seconds | 0 |
| sbd_last_interest_payment | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
| savings_sbd_last_interest_payment | 1970-01-01T00:00:00 |
{
"id": 101178,
"name": "linkgirl",
"owner": {
"weight_threshold": 1,
"account_auths": [],
"key_auths": [
[
"STM8h3gWACudkxJ8ygB85ixswa4xHzvTCaYMSuMzQ8WiBi6xf1551",
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]
},
"active": {
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},
"posting": {
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1
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]
},
"memo_key": "STM8735QY3D7UWcN6BVLkuuU2r3ZRbPTLy5hAF7N6W1GzRQMRSf7k",
"json_metadata": "",
"posting_json_metadata": "",
"proxy": "",
"last_owner_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"last_account_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"created": "2016-10-02T20:58:36",
"mined": false,
"recovery_account": "steem",
"last_account_recovery": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"reset_account": "null",
"comment_count": 0,
"lifetime_vote_count": 0,
"post_count": 3,
"can_vote": true,
"voting_manabar": {
"current_mana": 9950,
"last_update_time": 1475786100
},
"downvote_manabar": {
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"last_update_time": 1475441916
},
"voting_power": 9950,
"balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"savings_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"sbd_seconds": "0",
"sbd_seconds_last_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"sbd_last_interest_payment": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"savings_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"savings_sbd_seconds": "0",
"savings_sbd_seconds_last_update": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"savings_sbd_last_interest_payment": "1970-01-01T00:00:00",
"savings_withdraw_requests": 0,
"reward_sbd_balance": "0.000 SBD",
"reward_steem_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"reward_vesting_balance": "0.000000 VESTS",
"reward_vesting_steem": "0.000 STEEM",
"vesting_shares": "27544.588638 VESTS",
"delegated_vesting_shares": "0.000000 VESTS",
"received_vesting_shares": "0.000000 VESTS",
"vesting_withdraw_rate": "0.000000 VESTS",
"next_vesting_withdrawal": "1969-12-31T23:59:59",
"withdrawn": 0,
"to_withdraw": 0,
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"curation_rewards": 0,
"posting_rewards": 0,
"proxied_vsf_votes": [
0,
0,
0,
0
],
"witnesses_voted_for": 0,
"last_post": "2016-10-05T09:10:42",
"last_root_post": "2016-10-04T21:35:12",
"last_vote_time": "2016-10-06T20:35:00",
"post_bandwidth": 10000,
"pending_claimed_accounts": 0,
"vesting_balance": "0.000 STEEM",
"reputation": 891750335,
"transfer_history": [],
"market_history": [],
"post_history": [],
"vote_history": [],
"other_history": [],
"witness_votes": [],
"tags_usage": [],
"guest_bloggers": [],
"rank": 89489
}Withdraw Routes
| Incoming | Outgoing |
|---|---|
Empty | Empty |
{
"incoming": [],
"outgoing": []
}From Date
To Date
2019/10/02 22:56:12
2019/10/02 22:56:12
| parent author | linkgirl |
| parent permlink | how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie |
| author | steemitboard |
| permlink | steemitboard-notify-linkgirl-20191002t225612000z |
| title | |
| body | Congratulations @linkgirl! You received a personal award! <table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@linkgirl/birthday3.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 3 years!</td></tr></table> <sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@linkgirl) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=linkgirl)_</sub> ###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes! |
| json metadata | {"image":["https://steemitboard.com/img/notify.png"]} |
| Transaction Info | Block #36944009/Trx 0fc3a878984641fdfbcad2ae972fc6270acc1e47 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
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"timestamp": "2019-10-02T22:56:12",
"op": [
"comment",
{
"parent_author": "linkgirl",
"parent_permlink": "how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie",
"author": "steemitboard",
"permlink": "steemitboard-notify-linkgirl-20191002t225612000z",
"title": "",
"body": "Congratulations @linkgirl! You received a personal award!\n\n<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/70x70/http://steemitboard.com/@linkgirl/birthday3.png</td><td>Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 3 years!</td></tr></table>\n\n<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@linkgirl) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=linkgirl)_</sub>\n\n\n###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!",
"json_metadata": "{\"image\":[\"https://steemitboard.com/img/notify.png\"]}"
}
]
}2018/10/03 03:28:42
2018/10/03 03:28:42
| parent author | linkgirl |
| parent permlink | how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie |
| author | steemitboard |
| permlink | steemitboard-notify-linkgirl-20181003t032843000z |
| title | |
| body | Congratulations @linkgirl! You have received a personal award! [](http://steemitboard.com/@linkgirl) 2 Years on Steemit <sub>_Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor._</sub> **Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:** <table><tr><td><a href="https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/steemitboard-knock-out-by-hardfork"><img src="https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSPagmBYytsJBn8FwewvqDFRphP6swbbndADgYEsaLNkZ/image.png"></a></td><td><a href="https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/steemitboard-knock-out-by-hardfork">SteemitBoard knock out by hardfork</a></td></tr></table> > Support [SteemitBoard's project](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)! **[Vote for its witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1)** and **get one more award**! |
| json metadata | {"image":["https://steemitboard.com/img/notify.png"]} |
| Transaction Info | Block #26473004/Trx da3b4a21ba1a91e8c22c8f1ef906c6993a1d3b71 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
"trx_id": "da3b4a21ba1a91e8c22c8f1ef906c6993a1d3b71",
"block": 26473004,
"trx_in_block": 47,
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"timestamp": "2018-10-03T03:28:42",
"op": [
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{
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"author": "steemitboard",
"permlink": "steemitboard-notify-linkgirl-20181003t032843000z",
"title": "",
"body": "Congratulations @linkgirl! You have received a personal award!\n\n[](http://steemitboard.com/@linkgirl) 2 Years on Steemit\n<sub>_Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor._</sub>\n\n\n**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**\n<table><tr><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/steemitboard-knock-out-by-hardfork\"><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/64x128/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSPagmBYytsJBn8FwewvqDFRphP6swbbndADgYEsaLNkZ/image.png\"></a></td><td><a href=\"https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/steemitboard-knock-out-by-hardfork\">SteemitBoard knock out by hardfork</a></td></tr></table>\n\n> Support [SteemitBoard's project](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)! **[Vote for its witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1)** and **get one more award**!",
"json_metadata": "{\"image\":[\"https://steemitboard.com/img/notify.png\"]}"
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]
}linkgirlremoved vote from (0.00%) @evok3d / re-linkgirl-how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie-20161006t150546844z
linkgirlremoved vote from (0.00%) @evok3d / re-linkgirl-how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie-20161006t150546844z
| voter | linkgirl |
| author | evok3d |
| permlink | re-linkgirl-how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie-20161006t150546844z |
| weight | 0 (0.00%) |
| Transaction Info | Block #5604064/Trx 341f3900797e36633e2bebab917510157ac52c2e |
View Raw JSON Data
{
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}linkgirlupvoted (100.00%) @evok3d / re-linkgirl-how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie-20161006t150546844z
linkgirlupvoted (100.00%) @evok3d / re-linkgirl-how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie-20161006t150546844z
| voter | linkgirl |
| author | evok3d |
| permlink | re-linkgirl-how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie-20161006t150546844z |
| weight | 10000 (100.00%) |
| Transaction Info | Block #5604058/Trx d47e41e5398e5b561764a7dcbd93fc63882802ff |
View Raw JSON Data
{
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}evok3dupvoted (100.00%) @linkgirl / how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie
evok3dupvoted (100.00%) @linkgirl / how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie
| voter | evok3d |
| author | linkgirl |
| permlink | how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie |
| weight | 10000 (100.00%) |
| Transaction Info | Block #5597484/Trx 7d7ee903f43e45aad551ef7d56dbeca0d26b1e72 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
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"op": [
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}| parent author | linkgirl |
| parent permlink | how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie |
| author | evok3d |
| permlink | re-linkgirl-how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie-20161006t150546844z |
| title | |
| body | Really nice article. Great work :) -- i like the zombie reference |
| json metadata | {"tags":["life"]} |
| Transaction Info | Block #5597482/Trx 3973ff97aaf9779b2275880bb56bf12c9b0388f0 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
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"timestamp": "2016-10-06T15:05:45",
"op": [
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"author": "evok3d",
"permlink": "re-linkgirl-how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie-20161006t150546844z",
"title": "",
"body": "Really nice article. Great work :) -- i like the zombie reference",
"json_metadata": "{\"tags\":[\"life\"]}"
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}perspectiveupvoted (10.00%) @linkgirl / re-perspective-a-place-of-her-own-20161005t091041445z
perspectiveupvoted (10.00%) @linkgirl / re-perspective-a-place-of-her-own-20161005t091041445z
| voter | perspective |
| author | linkgirl |
| permlink | re-perspective-a-place-of-her-own-20161005t091041445z |
| weight | 1000 (10.00%) |
| Transaction Info | Block #5569825/Trx d2c1709a8e7fe3513408b90b16d8bc5d1173d6a3 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
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"op": [
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]
}| parent author | linkgirl |
| parent permlink | re-perspective-a-place-of-her-own-20161005t091041445z |
| author | perspective |
| permlink | re-linkgirl-re-perspective-a-place-of-her-own-20161005t160203396z |
| title | |
| body | Thank you! I appreciate it! |
| json metadata | {"tags":["life"]} |
| Transaction Info | Block #5569809/Trx d8d999759da8f1ecaa670b1b6f7218e1ca385e09 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
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"author": "perspective",
"permlink": "re-linkgirl-re-perspective-a-place-of-her-own-20161005t160203396z",
"title": "",
"body": "Thank you! I appreciate it!",
"json_metadata": "{\"tags\":[\"life\"]}"
}
]
}linkgirlfollowed @aaronkoenig
linkgirlfollowed @aaronkoenig
| required auths | [] |
| required posting auths | ["linkgirl"] |
| id | follow |
| json | ["follow",{"follower":"linkgirl","following":"aaronkoenig","what":["blog"]}] |
| Transaction Info | Block #5567183/Trx 6aefff547477cabc7be8444ff67ce1f36222854f |
View Raw JSON Data
{
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"timestamp": "2016-10-05T13:50:33",
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"json": "[\"follow\",{\"follower\":\"linkgirl\",\"following\":\"aaronkoenig\",\"what\":[\"blog\"]}]"
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]
}linkgirlupvoted (100.00%) @aaronkoenig / interview-with-two-well-styled-hackers
linkgirlupvoted (100.00%) @aaronkoenig / interview-with-two-well-styled-hackers
| voter | linkgirl |
| author | aaronkoenig |
| permlink | interview-with-two-well-styled-hackers |
| weight | 10000 (100.00%) |
| Transaction Info | Block #5567177/Trx 160c32d003712c6acc415214fb1bd390a999025c |
View Raw JSON Data
{
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"op": [
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}| parent author | perspective |
| parent permlink | a-place-of-her-own |
| author | linkgirl |
| permlink | re-perspective-a-place-of-her-own-20161005t091041445z |
| title | |
| body | I wish you the best of luck! It is really great and empowering to start living your own life. |
| json metadata | {"tags":["life"]} |
| Transaction Info | Block #5561586/Trx 4b18ce3d71638b2e2fbdd1e4f973c2ec15cb91be |
View Raw JSON Data
{
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"parent_author": "perspective",
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"author": "linkgirl",
"permlink": "re-perspective-a-place-of-her-own-20161005t091041445z",
"title": "",
"body": "I wish you the best of luck! It is really great and empowering to start living your own life.",
"json_metadata": "{\"tags\":[\"life\"]}"
}
]
}| parent author | aizensou |
| parent permlink | time-to-go-full-steem-ahead |
| author | linkgirl |
| permlink | re-aizensou-time-to-go-full-steem-ahead-20161005t064529827z |
| title | |
| body | Congratz, I hope you will have a lot of fun! :-) |
| json metadata | {"tags":["steem"]} |
| Transaction Info | Block #5558682/Trx 855fd5a85233943b6cb58a34adf95f5bee4fe659 |
View Raw JSON Data
{
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"op": [
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"parent_permlink": "time-to-go-full-steem-ahead",
"author": "linkgirl",
"permlink": "re-aizensou-time-to-go-full-steem-ahead-20161005t064529827z",
"title": "",
"body": "Congratz, I hope you will have a lot of fun! :-)",
"json_metadata": "{\"tags\":[\"steem\"]}"
}
]
}linkgirlupvoted (100.00%) @jacobcards / introduce-myself-finally
linkgirlupvoted (100.00%) @jacobcards / introduce-myself-finally
| voter | linkgirl |
| author | jacobcards |
| permlink | introduce-myself-finally |
| weight | 10000 (100.00%) |
| Transaction Info | Block #5548172/Trx 9e70ea0a98116664fdcf0ec17c6b037223313b02 |
View Raw JSON Data
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| body | This is awesome I think everyone can relate to falling into that "zombie state" once you do its hard to breakout. It seems by changing your lifestyle and doing what you enjoy broke that spell. The same sort of thing happened to me when I started steeming. VS running my website. Its much more enjoyable and emotional. I feel much more human now rather then a zombie. I gave you a big up-vote and follow :D Please do that same for me!! And keep up the work this is great!!! |
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}jacobcardsupvoted (100.00%) @linkgirl / how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie
jacobcardsupvoted (100.00%) @linkgirl / how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie
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}linkgirlupvoted (100.00%) @linkgirl / how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie
linkgirlupvoted (100.00%) @linkgirl / how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie
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}linkgirlpublished a new post: how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie
linkgirlpublished a new post: how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie
| parent author | |
| parent permlink | life |
| author | linkgirl |
| permlink | how-i-beat-my-inner-zombie |
| title | How I beat my inner zombie. |
| body | I am inherently lazy person. No, not in the good, inventor-ish way. My laziness is of the **wrong kind**. The kind that keeps me **repeating ineffective processes** just because I am used to them. Laziness that keeps me pressing F5 and waiting for **someone else's status update to feed my brain**. It zombifies me. I can *feel* my brain getting dumber every minute. And **I hate it**. I used to be a great bookworm – I could sit all day and read one book after another. Then I grew up and became sort of a gamer *(even before books I used to be one; I got to the reading quite late, but in my oldest memories there is the old Sinclair and games my dad made for me)*. I always **distracted myself in dream realities** and when I discovered social networks, my way to become a full time F5 pressing zombie has begun. But **I beat my inner zombie**. And now I want to share with you my way of dealing with her. <h2>My old useless me</h2> Beating my nature and becoming the person I want to be **took a long time** so far. And I am still at the beginning. It is a **path full of falls and giving up** – but as they say, failing is the best way to the success. I didn't have the worst life start and I had **no excuse** to be such a useless piece of person. But I was. I didn't think I would be capable of doing anything good. **To be a real big world person**. In fact, I remember my childhood as a series of failing and sucking at everything, so I basically gave up on being good at something before even trying, and I started my career as a dishwasher. I spent most of my free time on the internet and part of me was charmed with all of the possibilities. With the idea who I could become, **just if**. **Just if** I would be born as different person. **Just if** I would't be such a useless piece of nothing. That was eight years ago. Today **I am** a different person. Today I am capable **of doing** stuff. My achievements are not the greatest. But I have still hard time to believe how much I've changed. One of my short-stories has been published and I am working on a book. I have a great job and my own cool projects. I am even finishing things and now I know that *I can*. I can do and learn most of the things I want to. I just have to keep going. And not to get discouraged. <h2>How reading self-improvement articles did (not) help me</h2> GTD, productivity, zen habits, to-do lists, habit gamifications apps... It was my life. **I read the hell out of every article promising to improve my life** and to make me a better person – the kind of person that gets things done. I was **regular on anti-procrastinations talks** getting motivation injections. Getting excited to try newly learned mechanics just give up on them two days later. My frustration grew bigger. *How come everyone else can but me? Am I really so useless? Is something wrong with my brain?* I even diagnosed myself with adult ADD and many other things that could explain it. The truth? I was just a spoiled brat. I thought I could become a new person just like that. I was so much **disappointed with myself** because I hadn't. But all the time I was growing. **Progressing without noticing.** Yes – I was working on myself for two days and then gave up and fell into the zombie mode for much longer. But with the time **the two days were accumulating** alongside with the knowledge and experiences and I was slowly becoming the person I dreamt about. Was it the articles that made the magic? Maybe. But I think it was the moments of actual **learning and doing** than **procrastinating by reading about procrastination**. <h2>The big change</h2> So what happened? I am tempted to say **I don't know**. But that would make all of the previous words useless. *And also I actually do know.* I began noticing. I **didn't wash dishes for living anymore**. People started asking me to write for them and as I wrote I learned even more. *Mostly about how much I didn't know.* I was having fun and even making some money. That was the big change. **I've noticed.** I've realized how far I've gotten and suddendly it was easier to keep going. I am by far not perfect and my goals are far ahead of me. But now **I know I can**. When I slip up, it doesn't take months to get back on track, but days. I could say to my old me it was so easy. That I should just **do something** for few days in a year and don't sweat it, don't be mean at yourself and so on. But it wouldn't help. I wouldn't belive myself and I would be drowning in marches of self-loathing anyway. And what more, **it isn't even the whole truth**. I don't know where I would have been if my life had taken another direction. But the biggest and fastest turn in my life came in the moment **I've changed everything**. First **I have given up on dependency** of living with someone. Later I **have given up on relationships**. I figured out they are dragging me down and **keeping my freedom away from me**. I **have given up on social networks** and notifications addiction (sort of). And I (sort of) **have given up on alcohol** and sugar. Yeah. That sounds bit radical even to me. But the truth is that I am not the kind of person who can have everything. **I am too lazy for it**. So I've chosen to **follow my dreams instead of the little green elf**. I am not going to live in this calibratory way of life forever and I am still **searching for the perfect balance**, but giving up on those things, at least for a while, has cleared my mind. And I finally have the **chance to find myself**, which is, I belive, **impossible, when you are dependent** on other people or substances that make you feel happy. So, if you are at the same place I was, just **don't give up**. Do a little work. Learn a bit. And **persist**. **It pays of**. My **inner zombie is still creeping in me**, but now I can beat her anytime I want. *This is my first and sort of introductory article. I hope your eyes didn't hurt too much, I have never took a proper English lessons and this is, in fact, my first longer English text. :-)* |
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"body": "I am inherently lazy person.\nNo, not in the good, inventor-ish way. \nMy laziness is of the **wrong kind**. The kind that keeps me **repeating ineffective processes** just because I am used to them. \nLaziness that keeps me pressing F5 and waiting for **someone else's status update to feed my brain**. \nIt zombifies me. I can *feel* my brain getting dumber every minute. And **I hate it**. \n\nI used to be a great bookworm – I could sit all day and read one book after another. Then I grew up and became sort of a gamer *(even before books I used to be one; I got to the reading quite late, but in my oldest memories there is the old Sinclair and games my dad made for me)*.\n\nI always **distracted myself in dream realities** and when I discovered social networks, my way to become a full time F5 pressing zombie has begun. But **I beat my inner zombie**. And now I want to share with you my way of dealing with her. \n\n<h2>My old useless me</h2>\n\nBeating my nature and becoming the person I want to be **took a long time** so far. And I am still at the beginning. \nIt is a **path full of falls and giving up** – but as they say, failing is the best way to the success. \n\nI didn't have the worst life start and I had **no excuse** to be such a useless piece of person. But I was.\nI didn't think I would be capable of doing anything good. \n**To be a real big world person**. In fact, I remember my childhood as a series of failing and sucking at everything, so I basically gave up on being good at something before even trying, and I started my career as a dishwasher. \n\nI spent most of my free time on the internet and part of me was charmed with all of the possibilities. With the idea who I could become, **just if**. \n**Just if** I would be born as different person. \n**Just if** I would't be such a useless piece of nothing. \n\nThat was eight years ago. \n\nToday **I am** a different person. Today I am capable **of doing** stuff. \n\nMy achievements are not the greatest. But I have still hard time to believe how much I've changed. \nOne of my short-stories has been published and I am working on a book. I have a great job and my own cool projects. \nI am even finishing things and now I know that *I can*. I can do and learn most of the things I want to. I just have to keep going. And not to get discouraged. \n\n<h2>How reading self-improvement articles did (not) help me</h2>\n\nGTD, productivity, zen habits, to-do lists, habit gamifications apps...\n\nIt was my life. \n**I read the hell out of every article promising to improve my life** and to make me a better person – the kind of person that gets things done. \n\nI was **regular on anti-procrastinations talks** getting motivation injections. Getting excited to try newly learned mechanics just give up on them two days later. \n\nMy frustration grew bigger. *How come everyone else can but me? Am I really so useless? Is something wrong with my brain?* I even diagnosed myself with adult ADD and many other things that could explain it. \n\nThe truth? \n\nI was just a spoiled brat.\n\nI thought I could become a new person just like that. I was so much **disappointed with myself** because I hadn't. \n\nBut all the time I was growing.\n**Progressing without noticing.** \n\nYes – I was working on myself for two days and then gave up and fell into the zombie mode for much longer. \n\nBut with the time **the two days were accumulating** alongside with the knowledge and experiences and I was slowly becoming the person I dreamt about. \n\nWas it the articles that made the magic?\nMaybe. \nBut I think it was the moments of actual **learning and doing** than **procrastinating by reading about procrastination**.\n\n<h2>The big change</h2>\n\nSo what happened? \n\nI am tempted to say **I don't know**. But that would make all of the previous words useless. *And also I actually do know.*\n\nI began noticing. \n\nI **didn't wash dishes for living anymore**. \nPeople started asking me to write for them and as I wrote I learned even more. *Mostly about how much I didn't know.* I was having fun and even making some money. \n\nThat was the big change. \n\n**I've noticed.**\n\nI've realized how far I've gotten and suddendly it was easier to keep going. \n\nI am by far not perfect and my goals are far ahead of me. But now **I know I can**.\n\nWhen I slip up, it doesn't take months to get back on track, but days. \n\nI could say to my old me it was so easy. That I should just **do something** for few days in a year and don't sweat it, don't be mean at yourself and so on. But it wouldn't help. I wouldn't belive myself and I would be drowning in marches of self-loathing anyway. And what more, **it isn't even the whole truth**. \n\nI don't know where I would have been if my life had taken another direction.\n\nBut the biggest and fastest turn in my life came in the moment **I've changed everything**.\n\nFirst **I have given up on dependency** of living with someone.\nLater I **have given up on relationships**. I figured out they are dragging me down and **keeping my freedom away from me**.\nI **have given up on social networks** and notifications addiction (sort of).\nAnd I (sort of) **have given up on alcohol** and sugar. \n\nYeah.\nThat sounds bit radical even to me. \nBut the truth is that I am not the kind of person who can have everything. **I am too lazy for it**. \nSo I've chosen to **follow my dreams instead of the little green elf**. \n\nI am not going to live in this calibratory way of life forever and I am still **searching for the perfect balance**, but giving up on those things, at least for a while, has cleared my mind. \n\nAnd I finally have the **chance to find myself**, which is, I belive, **impossible, when you are dependent** on other people or substances that make you feel happy. \n\nSo, if you are at the same place I was, just **don't give up**. \nDo a little work. Learn a bit. \nAnd **persist**.\n\n**It pays of**. \n\nMy **inner zombie is still creeping in me**, but now I can beat her anytime I want.\n\n*This is my first and sort of introductory article. I hope your eyes didn't hurt too much, I have never took a proper English lessons and this is, in fact, my first longer English text. :-)*",
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